“Smart.” I risked lifting my head, finding that we were on the edge of a city sheathed on either side by icy mountains. Their peaks were tall enough for the moon to shine atop. Below, behind, and around us was nothing but dark forests.
Maxell looked around, chugging down a bottle of blood. The sight of it made me hungry. I hadn’t eaten since breakfast.
“What did you mean back there? When you mentioned my yearbooks?”
How I could blush in a sea of ice and fear, I didn’t know, but I still somehow managed to accomplish it. I hid my face back between my knees, hiding the heat in my cheeks, too. “I stole your freshman and sophomore yearbooks from the library.” I rose my eyes fractionally to find him watching me. “I didn’t want to leave them behind.”
He frowned. “Why not?”
“You’re human in them. I’m protective over your humanness. One day, there won’t be proof that you were human at all.”
He looked away. “How can you say stuff like that to me and then still want to become…” He touched his chest. “This.”
“The same way you want me to stay as I am. I just do.”
He sat down beside me, attention on scanning the area around us and only partly on me. “I just do. As good an argument as any at this point.” He finished his blood and put the bottle back in the cooler. “We need to find a place to crash for the night. You need to eat and get some rest.”
I leaned my head against his shoulder. “Are you not tired at all?”
“No. I could run forever.”
“We can’t run forever. That’s not possible.”
“Then we run until we can’t run anymore. Come on, let’s go. There’s got to be an empty structure nearby. It’s winter in the middle of the Alaskan wilderness. There’s got to be someone sensible out there.”
With me returned on his back, coolers in hand, he cut off into the forest. The city below appeared to be the size of my fist. Lights twinkled like faraway stars. Maxell slowed down his running, giving me the ability to see again without risk of puking all over him. He came upon a cabin higher up on a ridge. It was surrounded by trees on all sides, and thankfully empty.
He pried the door open, the inside pitch-black. The moonlight had a hard time filtering through the trees. “I was thinking,” he said, scanning the contents of the cabin with his eyes.
I assumed his eyes were like his hearing and speed. Far more capable than my own. I couldn’t see my hand in front of my face, let alone anything else. “I didn’t know you could do that.”
He ignored my teasing, motioning for me to enter after him. “We’re not safe here. There’s nowhere in the world The Immortal Society can’t find us. But I know for certain they can’t get into the fae realm. Not without a fae on the other side to grant them access, and there’s no way there’d be a fae dumb enough to open their realm to a powerful hierarchy of Pure vampires. They’d eradicate the entire fae race.”
“You’re of Pure descent,” I pointed out, because so far, he hadn’t. He hadn’t said much of anything.
Once again, my comment went over his head. I wondered if that were a part of him now, being unable to focus on anything other than survival when that survival was threatened.
“Masters went there. We must go there, too.”
“Maybe Masters never made it,” I mumbled, losing Maxell in the dark. I stumbled over my feet onto something hard, catching my fall on the sharp surface.
“Stay still,” he ordered. “I’ll find some light. He made it. That’s why Phare chased us and we know that he was after me, not Masters, which is the only reason Masters and Reowna were able to get away.”
I bit my bottom lip, chewing through my thoughts. There were so many, and they were all airy, unaffixed points of fear and confusion in my head. “There’s so much we don’t know,” I breathed. “I can’t help but feel Masters wanted it that way.”
I heard a drawer open somewhere in the dark, and then metal rattle. There was a strike, and light emanated from a shadow on the other side of the room. I noted that I hadn’t heard Maxell move through the house. He set the candle down on a small kitchen table and then blew out the match, setting the matchbox down beside the candle.
The amber glow from the candle bled onto him in the shadows. His pale skin sparkled, and his eyes gleamed with intensity. There was only a few feet between us, but I crossed the space anyway and stood as close to him as I could; my fingers toyed with his. “We need to find him. If he’s in the fae realm, then that’s where we need to go.”
“I don’t know much about fairies,” he admitted, his fingers caressing mine. “What I do know is that they’re bred from magic and the elements, not heaven and hell like vampires, so they’re as strong as us, but they’re also nothing like us. If we go, you can’t trust anyone but me. Even Masters and Reowna.” He cringed; he didn’t ever want that to be true. “At least not until we know more.”
“You’re the only person I trust now. That probably won’t change if we switch worlds. Where is the fae realm?”
“I have no idea where it is exactly. That’s the fae. One step sideways and two to the left. I only know that there are portals into each court. The Fire Court, the Air Court, the Water Court, and the last one is the Earth Court. One of the largest portals into the fae realm happens to be in Port Inlet.”
I gaped at him. “What is it with this place?”
His eyes sparked with humor for only half a second before the intent glean of survival took over. “Perhaps it’s a magical place. Or perhaps it’s doomed.”
“Magical,” I decided.
“Oh?”
“Yeah, it’s where I met you. How could it not be magical?”
His eyes held mine for so long I got lost in the way the mint delicately brushed the chocolate. Some of the survival abated, leaving behind something soft and melty. “You did it again,” he murmured.
“Did what?” I whispered, my heartbeat pounding in my ears.
“Took my breath away.”
I rose on my tiptoe and pressed a fast kiss to the tip of his nose. “You’re welcome.”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “Now is not the time for you to do adorable things.”
“When is the time?”
He hummed low in his throat. “I’ll let you know.” I had a feeling he wouldn’t let me know. He did however bend down and press his cool lips to the space between my brows. “Stay here. I’m going to run down to the city and get you something to eat. Don’t leave this cabin. We don’t need your scent all over the place.”
“Hurry back to me, please.” I hugged myself, watching him head for the door.
He looked back at me before he stepped outside, his lips lifted into a handsome, crooked smile. “I’ll come right back to you, Emmie. I always will.”
There was no use in trying to find him in the dark. The moment he left and closed the door behind him, I went over to the front window, the panes frosted from the cold. I thought I saw him dash through the trees, but then he was gone, and I hated how alone I felt.
How exposed and… purposeless I was.
If purposes came in the shape of people, that vampire was mine.
CHAPTER TWELVE
I was alone for at least an hour before I started to worry.
I sat atop one of the coolers, biting my nails. Cold wind whipped through the cabin, and I knew why the person who’d owned it wasn’t there. It was so cold, even my cold was cold. I didn’t turn to ice, so I assumed it was the regular weather making my teeth chatter.
The candlelight swayed in long shadows across the room, like an amber hued serpent. I got hypnotized watching it, the only other sound besides the wind being my growling stomach. After a while, I got up and looked out of the window again. Not seeing anything, I risked stepping outside. My scent was probably already that far; I stayed in the doorway, the night so dark I could barely see my hand in front of my face. The scent of pine needles burned my nose.
A nervous pit began to form in my stoma
ch.
The feeling started in my heart. It was small at first. A faint echo of longing whispered throughout my body, until it grew into a full-blown scream of acute absence. I fell to my knees on the rickety porch, grabbing at my chest.
I’d only ever felt that way one other time. When Maxell left to show me I still had a chance. Before I chose him. The deep-rooted ache made it difficult to breathe. I reached out, my hand swallowed by the dark.
“Maxell,” I gasped. “Where are you?”
The pain in me ricocheted out, until it was all I felt, until nothing was me and I was nothing. I couldn’t even move. I couldn’t get my mind and heart to separate—both were clouded by the sheer onslaught of emptiness and pain.
Was he …?
No, he couldn’t be.
He was still alive. That I knew. Otherwise, his longing and my longing wouldn’t be so tied together. I knew he felt what I felt. Masters had said as much. I also knew that I’d broken my own rule. I’d shattered it without knowing I’d even lifted my fist. Falling in love wasn’t a part of my plans. But then again, were those fragile lists even plans? Or were they put there to protect myself from feeling exactly what I felt now?
Loss.
I had to get up.
Snowfall drifted down to the earth.
The moon was no match for the dark.
Soon, the sun began to rise.
First it was blue. This indigo laced twilight bled through the green haze of trees. Then it turned red, and then orange, and finally the forest was alit. I couldn’t see far because there were so many trees, but I could see far enough to know that if I didn’t move, whatever hurt my pair bond would come for me next.
I couldn’t do that to him.
I had to protect myself because that’s what he would do.
Protect me.
I forced myself to stand. I forced myself to think. I forced myself to fight.
I went back into the cabin and grabbed a bottle of elixir. I chugged it down. Just in case, I filled the space that was left in my cooler with bottles of blood from his. It was strange, but things didn’t look the same anymore. I felt mechanic. I clung to the structured thoughts—the emotional ones hurt too badly. But they weren’t as bad as my imagination.
There were rivers of fire, the boy of my dreams turned into ash; my imagination was way more brutal.
No, the mechanical way was the only way for me now.
I stood on the porch and surveyed my options. There was only one. I had to get back to Port Inlet. Find the portal into the fae realm, find Masters, and then he’d know what to do to get Maxell back. Easy peasy.
With shaking hands, I grabbed hold of the handle on the cooler. It was extraordinarily heavy for me. I could only pull it a few feet before I needed to switch hands. I guided it out of the cabin, down the porch, and into the snow. The cold made it difficult to breathe. The ache in my chest radiated throughout my entire body. My brain kindly guided my actions, not taking anything into account, like how I was so far into Alaska, I was at least two football fields away from the cabin before I realized I was stuck in the middle of the Alaskan wilderness all by myself.
I was on the verge of tears before I remembered the city. Thanks to the tracks in the snow from my cooler, I knew the way I’d come. I retraced my steps, coming up on the cabin just before sunset. Having no other choice and weakened from hunger, I crawled back inside, rummaging through the cabin cabinets. They were empty. If not, bears probably would’ve torn the doors down by now. I drank another bottle of elixir and managed to sleep sitting up against the cooler. When I woke, the sky was full of blue light.
I left the coolers behind to find the ridge.
Just below, my breath clouding out in front of me, lay the tiny city. There was no way I could get down the steep incline with the cooler. I had to leave it. I had to leave them both. I grabbed two bottles of the elixir, ignoring the bottles of blood or else I’d never make it out of there, and then I set off down the steep ridge. The ice made it slippery and the rocks made it sharp.
I had to stuff the bottles of elixir inside my jacket. My brain helped me. One foot below, one hand on the rock nearest me. Test it for my body weight, and then repeat, until I was far enough down that I could see the smoke from a nearby chimney. A little further revealed a squat metal building in the distance. I climbed down a tree to finally touch the bottom of the ravine.
The trees were just as thick and the ice was just as fresh; every step swallowed my footfalls, leaving behind wide prints. I was so cold my sweat dried into ice. I was so afraid my fear turned to smoke. I was so empty my emptiness grew dust.
The wilderness played tricks on me. I could have sworn the city was just within reach. But the sun set on me and the cold had turned my bones into icicles. I couldn’t walk. I felt warm all over. I was so tired my eyelids drooped. If I had known that one day ice would win, perhaps I would have been a bit nicer to fire. But then again, maybe then I’d crave the burn of ice just a little more.
I fell to my knees in the snow.
The night was so dark and the trees so thick, I couldn’t even see the stars.
I knew I should be upset. I’d had so much before me. But all I could think about was how empty Maxell would be without me. How the emptiness in me would transfer to him. A forever without me put my entire life into existence.
I knew what mattered, and that it would always be him.
Because in him, I mattered, too.
I never had before.
Not to my parents.
Not to Granny Londa.
Maybe not even to myself.
I smiled into the dark.
Only I could fall in love with my life a second before I lost it.
My eyes closed.
“Look. There she is. I told you I smelled a fairy.”
“Is she dying?”
“Don’t be foolish. Fairies are immortal.”
“She stinks of windmint. Maybe that’s what’s wrong with her.”
“Why would a fairy go near the stuff? It smothers their magic. Makes them as good as human.” Disgust dripped from the ends of the word.
“You think someone poisoned her?”
“I think someone wanted her to believe she was human.”
I felt myself sinking deeper into the darkness all around me, wondering if part of dying was hearing voices that weren’t there.
“The fire realm is strong in this one.”
“Smells royal.” A pause sliced through the air, heavy of cold and warmth.
“That’s impossible.”
“Tisk, Wellrick. You should know by now that nothing is impossible for the fae. Stranger things have happened.”
“Like finding a fairy dying in the snow of windmint poisoning?”
“Quite.”
“What do we do with her?”
“Bring her to her rightful place, of course. King Tealson will have no choice but to grant us reentry into the realm after such a gracious delivery, don’t you think?”
“Enrich, you’re a genius.”
“No, I’m a goblin. Grab her feet. I’ll get her shoulders. We’ll have her home in no time.”
Wait, I tried to say. We have to find Maxell, but my mind couldn’t get my lips to move. They were frozen shut.
“We should hurry. I smelled the stink of another vampire up on the ridge.”
“You think they were after her?”
“Vampires do find the fae irresistible.”
“Why wouldn’t they?”
They both cackled before my mind faded into absolutely nothing.
And nothing cushioned the fall into emptiness.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
I awoke with a gasp.
I sat up, my lungs sucking for breath at the same time my eyes tried to take in my surroundings. For one, I’d never seen surroundings such as the ones before me, and for another, I was supposed to be frozen in time forever.
The emptiness had taken me over while I was unconscious. It was
thick and slow, moving through my veins until the emptiness was me. It pumped my heart full of nothing until nothing was me. I clutched at my chest, the pain so faint it was the hollow echo that hurt more than the actual pain.
“Maxell,” I gasped, wanting him so badly I feared I’d never survive this awful ache.
“What is a Maxell?” an entirely unfamiliar voice asked.
“I don’t think it’s a what. I think it’s a who. She keeps saying it. It’s the only thing she’ll say.”
“Maxell,” I begged, looking for the voices.
“See?”
The room I was in was enormous. It was made entirely of glass, but I couldn’t see beyond the walls, so I wasn’t sure exactly what I was seeing. A soft focus of orange shimmered within the walls, like a barely contained fire waiting for a breath of oxygen to spark. It was hot. Sweat dripped down my temples and spine, settling into my lower back. After being so cold for so long, I didn’t mind the heat. It was everywhere, the way Maxell’s cold had once been.
I missed his cold.
So badly in fact tears, hot and singeing, trailed down my face. “Maxell.”
“Has King Tealson been notified?”
“We’ll have to bring her to him,” a somber, musical voice replied.
The bed I lay atop was made of the same orange frosted glass, completely see-through. The mattress was inordinately soft. And large. Ten people could sleep in it without ever touching. The space only added to my emptiness. The ceiling was a sea of flames. Amber waves and scarlet embers engulfing. In horror, I realized why it looked so much like fire.
Because it was fire.
There were actual flames trapped in the glass walls. There were no lamps in the room. Who would need them with the entire room on fire?
There was a rug on the floor, a floor of cool glass tiles, frosted clear. The rug was a rainbow in the middle of catching flame. Whoever designed it had gone out of their way to make the most beautiful rug I’d ever seen. I blinked at it, feeling only mildly guilty that I didn’t so much as care.
Court of Frost and Embers (The Pair Bond Chronicles Book 1) Page 23