What freaked me out the most was that he was right. My head didn’t in fact hurt. Nothing did. My heart beat a little faster than normal, but I equated that to the constant influx of emptiness and shock. I had to be dreaming. My life before today was not a test run. My life started the day I met Maxell. I hadn’t known it at the time. Everything mattered after that if not for any other reason than because it mattered to him.
So much information had been dumped in my brain, and though it should confuse me, it all fit snugly in my head. But I didn’t know what any of it meant. All I knew was what was missing, and what I needed, and neither were in Faierie.
“How soon can we go and get Maxell?”
“We?” His easygoing mood imploded. “You’re not going anywhere, Princess. That wasn’t part of the deal. I’ll send a legion of raiders to The Immortal Society to retrieve your pair bond. Your existence now has a permanent bounty on it. If someone from the other three courts wants to weaken the Fire Court, they’ll come after everyone the king loves. As they have done so for millennia. But if they want to conquer the Fire Court and snuff out its heat, all they have to do is come after you. You’re the future. You’ll be the queen.”
“Phare’s vision.” It came back to me so quickly, it was as if I’d kept it subconsciously at the forefront of my mind.
The woman wearing a stunning dress the color of pomegranate seeds. She had hair the color of aged wood, this beautiful shining dark brown. Her eyes were the color of flames. Amber, gold, and bronze. She was powerful and beautiful. Strong.
She was me.
The king set his fork down and wiped his mouth with a dark brown cloth napkin. “Who is this Phare?”
I told him about the Warrior and then I told him about what I had seen when I tried to get into his mind. As I spoke, his eyes widened so wide I was afraid they’d get stuck.
Color flushed his cheeks and a wildness overcame his eyes. “You see the future, Princess?”
“I don’t know what I see, King. I don’t even know if it’s true.”
“It’s true,” he breathed, looking at me in such wonder, I squirmed uncomfortably under the intenseness of his gaze. “Tell me again what you saw.”
I held my sigh in, rehashing Phare’s loyalty to me as his queen one more time. “Is it the future I’m seeing? Or is it something else?”
“Time will tell us more. You come from a powerful lineage. The last fae in the throne to see the future was Queen Emmielee. She told us you were coming. She also said she wouldn’t be here to see you.” He swallowed hard, giving me a placating smile, as if his sadness was easily passed and hardly felt.
“What else did she see?”
“Mother was ever elusive.”
It must run in the family…
“What else have you seen?” he asked.
“Just one other vision. More like a nightmare.”
“What was it?”
I held my hands together tighter on my lap as I told him about Maxell and the river of lava. He listened to every detail, rapt.
“You dreamed this?”
I nodded. “What does that mean?”
“I think the better question is why vampires and fairies have become so intertwined, when before we were so separated. Why a Warrior from The Immortal Society saw you as his queen. Why you see your etern cast into the same ashes his kind was created from.” He rubbed his chin, that same wild look in his eyes. “You have made things exciting, Princess.”
I gaped at him, unsure how to take that. “Thanks?” I mumbled, the acknowledgement sounding more like a question.
He let out a handsome laugh. “Are you ready for dessert?”
“What was this?” I asked, poking at what was left of my food.
“Dinner, of course. The fae enjoy their sweets.”
Not sure what else to do, I watched as two people came into the room. They weren’t completely fairy, but they weren’t completely human either. One was a girl, probably no more than sixteen, with wild curly blonde hair and intense brown eyes. Only one of her ears ended in a point. She was mechanic in her movements. She had no expression other than to blink at me, but her eyes told stories. She exchanged my plates with fresh ones piled high with confections.
The other was a boy, probably similar in age, with slick brown hair and eyes the color of a clear pond. His ears barely peaked, but they did not curve. He was equally as slack in his expressions. They didn’t talk. They cleared and set down the plates and with a deep bow to the both of us, they left without a word.
“Who are they?” I whispered.
“They’re orphaned halflings.”
“Orphaned?”
“War is constant,” he informed me, crunching into a fat long pastry. Purple cream oozed out of the other end. “Distaste is as well. Halflings are lesser than, and most treat them that way.”
My stomach felt sick. “That’s sad. And it isn’t fair. They’re people, too. They’re alive, with feelings and hopes and dreams. Who cares if they’re not all fae? I’m not.”
He licked his finger clean and picked up a red square of cake robed in golden frosting. “Perhaps that’s why I’m more accepting of them. My own flesh and blood has ties to the human world. In my court, they’re given jobs, educations, and assistance. I can’t say the same for all the courts.”
“What is it like for them in the other courts?” I knew I’d regret my question as soon as it left my lips.
A dark shadow moved over his eyes. “They’re serfs. In exchange for protection and sustenance, they pledge to serve the court. The only consolation perhaps is that halflings aren’t immortal. They live four times longer than humans, but they rest in the stars eventually.”
“Am I immortal?” I held my breath. Abruptly, my entire life hung on his answer.
“No one is truly immortal, Princess. But in a sense, yes. Your heart will beat forever unless someone stops it.”
I let my air out in a whoosh. And then I tried something. I held my breath. My sense of smell immediately ceased. I could remember the scents around me but could no longer smell them in real time. And yet, I could stand it. I didn’t need air the way I had before, but I did still need it. I counted in my head, losing track of time as I ate. The entire time, I didn’t need to breathe. Not until dessert was over, and both of our plates were cleared. Only then did I pull in air, and like fire, I still needed oxygen to exist. It was sweet, sweet relief.
Meek and Hoodlin appeared near the open doorway, kneeling in front of the king.
“Your royal aids are here to collect you. They’re from your mother’s lineage. You share the same grandfather.”
I gaped at them. “So, they’re like my cousins?”
“I suppose,” the king answered, motioning for them to rise. “Call upon Kix, please.”
“Yes, King,” Meek said.
Hoodlin held out his hand to me. I looked back at the king before I took it. He was watching me, his eyes shining. “I never asked you my questions.”
“There is always tomorrow.”
I wasn’t sure of that. I found it odd that he was.
As soon as we had crossed the same halls and stairs of the palace that we had last time on our way to see the king, and I was back in the room made of glass and fire, I began to plan my escape.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
There were no mirrors in Faierie.
At least not in the palace.
I had only seen a fraction of the palace—I couldn’t speak on its entirety—but had not yet come upon my true reflection. I needed to see myself. The glass walls in my bedroom showed vestiges of a reflection, but it was fleeting, and I never saw the same angle twice. I could never look at myself head on. I paced my room, hoping to catch sight of the parts of me that felt different.
For the hundredth time, I touched my ears, my heart hammering so fast it sounded like a hummingbird’s wings smacking against stone.
I didn’t feel like myself.
I was so warm to the touch, I wa
s sure I could melt ice, but the heat did amazing things to me. It didn’t hurt me. Not like the ice had been so hell bent on doing. The flames in the wall followed me around the room. I didn’t feel full, even though I’d eaten half my body weight in sweets. My bare feet met the ground, barely making a sound as I marched from one end of the room to the other.
There were no windows in my room. No open views of the land outside the palace.
I was trapped.
In Faierie.
In the Throne of Cinders.
By a man who was a fairy who also claimed to be my father, who was so obviously king.
I felt unlike myself, but nothing I felt was negative. It was simply… confusing. Like I was in a dream and I’d wake up sore and cold and still looking for my pair bond.
My etern.
Fairies had forever bonds, too. Just like vampires.
That entire time Maxell had wanted me to understand our bond for what it was—I had understood as much as I could have—but little did he know that I couldn’t have possibly understood half of something, when the most important parts were being kept from me.
If all of this were true, and I was fairy, then we could be together without losing anything. He didn’t have to take my life to keep me, and I didn’t have to lose my life to keep him.
Now all I had to do was find him and tell him that before it was too late.
A sharp pain twisted in my heart and I stopped pacing, rubbing at it, waiting for the wave of emptiness to overtake me. Once it had, I lay down in bed, still in my gown. The corset dug into my side, but I found holding my breath stopped my ribcage from expanding, and the lack of smell helped my mind focus on one less sense.
How could it be true?
How could I go to sleep human, and wake up fairy? Or how could I go to sleep human and not know I was fairy? How could I dream with this mind and hope with this heart and never know what was truly inside of both?
Had Masters known? I thought the better question was to ask what Masters didn’t know, but there was no way of asking him now—wherever he was. The Pure vampire who turned my pair bond and supplied me with windmint. An elixir I was sure only worked on me because I was fae, which meant Masters had to have known what I was all along.
Reowna would have seen it all coming, but to what end?
I sat up, feeling no real need to sleep. I wasn’t physically tired. I was mentally exhausted. My brain ached, and my heart did much of the same.
The moment I wanted them, Meek and Hoodlin were there. The door into the room slid open and they both smiled at me.
I stared carefully at them. “Can you read my mind?”
“Not your mind. Your needs,” Hoodlin explained.
“We’re your royal aids,” Meek needlessly explained once more. “As long as you want the connection, we are connected to you. It helps to share the same blood. As we do.”
I crossed my legs, folding my hands on my lap. “Are my ears pointy?”
They both nodded.
“Am I really fairy?”
They both nodded.
“Are these real flames within these glass walls?”
They both nodded.
“Is the king really my father?”
They both nodded.
“Is it true you’ll both help me with whatever I need?”
They both nodded.
I gazed at the door for only a second before I got up and closed it, facing them. I whispered. “How well can fairies hear? Is it like vampires? Can we hear as well as they can?”
“Better, I imagine,” Meek said. “They’re predators. They listen for survival. We listen for magic.”
I noted how their lips curled over their teeth when they spoke of vampires. It irked me, but I bit my tongue. They weren’t human. I didn’t understand fairies quite the same way I understood vampires. I had to remember that.
“Try it,” Hoodlin suggested. “Cast your hearing.”
“How?”
“The fire might block out most of the sounds. I think that’s mainly why the king renovated this room for you. It’s in one of the highest turrets in the palace. It’s on fire from the outside in. The entire Fire Court has been cheering in the streets for hours. The Princess has finally returned to the Throne of Cinders, and we are no more at a disadvantage. If anything, the other courts should hold their breath and conjure every ounce of magic they possess. For this new war will be one with only a single victor.”
“That’s us,” Meek supplied, grinning proudly at me.
The way they spoke, with hope and power dripping from their words, made me uneasy. How could they think I was that girl? Whoever they wanted me to be, I wasn’t it. How could I be?
“What happens if we win, and who are we warring against?”
“Faierie encompasses the entire realm. Think of it as Earth. Although we are not on a planet, and gravity is more of an art than a need. Isn’t there a constant war for power? We concede and we all have our own parts, but there’s always that one fae who wants it all more than they want peace. In this case, it’s Queen Aeriia Glace of the Water Court. She and King Blaese Tealson—your father and our king—have warred for eons. Before they were even Prince or Princess, when they were simply fae children, one toting fire and the other toting water. I can’t imagine what would happen to the Fire Court if she were to overtake the element.”
A shudder traveled over me, one not of fear but of sheer power. “What would happen to the Water Court if he wins?”
Hoodlin’s smile was unreadable. “It would be nice to never fear water again.”
That time, my shudder made sense. Even fairies had their own issues. The fight for power in a world made of magic made a horrid kind of sense to me. “What about the other courts? Earth and Air?”
“Air feeds the fire. Water feeds the earth.”
“So the Air Court is on our side and the Earth Court is on the queen’s side?”
They both nodded.
Once again, I felt as though my head should hurt, cramming new information into it, but it held it all comfortably, regardless of how nonsensical it all sounded. It also unnerved me how easily I grasped their words. How even nonsensical as they were, they made sense to me. The way my whole life had felt like I was wrong, all of their words felt right.
I shook the thought off and returned to them. “I still don’t see how any of this has to do with me.”
Meek sighed theatrically. He moved past me to fall to my bed on his back. He spoke to the fire-laced ceiling. The carmine flames ate at the gold, but the amber was on its tale, and never count out that alluring shade of bronze on the edge of it all.
I missed mint.
“It’s simple, Princess. The stars, magic, and the elements decided your fate long before you were ever created. They pick your role. Your job is to fill it. Be glad. So many fae fumble around for an eternity waiting for their etern to make their lives worth living. Your life was so worth living the elements made you the way to keep all others.”
Hoodlin touched both of his hands to my face. “You hear us, but you do not believe us. Why?”
I held his eyes. I didn’t know where it came from, but I felt a rush of closeness at his presence. A tickle in the back of my heart of something I’d always wanted. A friend. A family member that shared my blood and dreams. “I’ve only been here a day.”
He stroked his thumbs over my cheeks delicately. “Your head and heart are not in Faierie. Where are they?”
Where they always wanted to be but never knew they were already lost in. “Will you help me?” I whispered so softly, he had to lean in.
“Whatever you wish, Princess, I’ll give my life to make it happen.”
“Why? You don’t even know me.”
He smiled softly. “Yes, I do. Perhaps what bothers you most is that you do not yet know yourself.”
I closed my eyes. “I have to save my pair bond.” My eyes opened, glassy with unshed tears. He looked like a beautiful mirage. “Or this life s
o worth living won’t make much of a difference.”
Meek joined us, taking my hand. “Where is he?”
Before I could answer, movement caught my eye. The king was there. And he didn’t appear happy. He was so much taller than I remembered. Power radiated off him, almost visible it was so strong.
Both aids fell to their knees, heads bowed.
“Abusing your power already, Princess?” he said.
Heat burned in my cheeks. “What do you mean?”
“The bond between royal and aid is special. It’s not to be manipulated. I gave you the best. Don’t send them into an unwinnable battle we already made a deal on.”
I hung my head, hating the way shame felt. It was icky and humid, slipping down my spine. I’d never felt it this strongly before.
“Rise and leave,” he barked, gazing coldly at Meek and Hoodlin. “You’re freed until the sun is up. Go join the festivities.”
“Yes, King,” they echoed, both men giving me kind smiles on their way out.
They didn’t appear to be upset with me.
But the king sure was.
He turned to me once they were gone. “What were you going to have them do? Bust you out of the palace, putting you at immeasurable risk, and somehow get you into the human world, a place they’ve never been, and then what? Were you going to have them wish you into The Immortal Society? Hmm?” he snapped when I stood there.
I couldn’t remember being reprimanded in my entire life. It wasn’t a good feeling. “I hadn’t gotten that far.”
“We made a deal, Princess.” That seemed to truly bother him. That I’d been so quick to break it.
Guilt made it hard to swallow. I hadn’t known promises meant that much until I thought of him not keeping his to me. “I’m sorry. I really am. I just miss him. And I know his fate. I know what life will be like without him. I know what his life means, how special it is. I didn’t mean to betray you. But it hurts in here.” I touched my chest, leaving my hand over my heart. The unshed tears in my eyes spilled over. “I can’t feel anything but emptiness and need. It’s like half of me is missing and I can’t explain how much that hurts.”
Court of Frost and Embers (The Pair Bond Chronicles Book 1) Page 26