by Carter Ashby
She was indeed a good woman. Logan thought the world of her. It was her words he respected. Her love he benefitted from. And yet he spent so much time and energy focusing on Frank’s words and Frank’s hate.
“I’m sorry your dad was a lousy person,” Logan said.
“I’m sorry yours was, too,” the man said. He lifted his beer in salute and drank. “But I’m better than mine. You’re better than yours. Maybe in a few generations, there’ll finally be a worthwhile Hayes man.”
Logan chuckled and resumed drinking his beer. After that, he let the conversation shift to lighter things.
Once again, he’d come down here needing something he couldn’t identify. And he hadn’t quite gotten it. But he did find that his anger at the man had dwindled by the end of the evening.
Maybe it was just the beer.
But maybe it was because he understood now, that this man wasn’t a god who was punishing him, or a hero who had failed him. He was just a man, doing the best he could with what little he had.
Logan went back to the motel that night and fell asleep, wondering what he should do next.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
SUNDAY MORNING MAGGIE went to church with the family. They had lunch, afterward. Eleanor wasn’t feeling well, so they made her comfortable on the sofa and had a picnic in the living room.
After that, Maggie got Levi and Izzie put down for naps in one of Eleanor’s guest rooms. Then, she went back to the guest house, changed into some work clothes, and headed over to Daisy Street.
Logan must have come out to work on the place at some point, because he’d gotten the drywall hung in the living room. The seams were patched and sanded. Ready to paint.
Which was perfect, because she’d just bought the paint last week, and painting was a chore she wanted to do right now.
She stirred her sage green paint and poured some in a tray, then got to work. As soon as she rolled on her first strip of paint, she heard a car pull into the driveway. The windows were open, even though the temperature outside was cool. She liked fresh air to offset the paint fumes. Because of that, she could easily make out the sound of David’s car engine. And the soft click of his steps as he jogged up the porch steps.
“Come on in,” she shouted before he could knock. With an inner sigh, she laid her paint roller in the tray and turned to greet David.
He was still dressed in church clothes—tan slacks, a blue button-down, and a tie. “Hey, beautiful,” he said, pulling her into a hug before she could react. And then he kissed her gently but firmly. He pulled back and frowned in concern. “How’s Nate doing?”
Maggie managed to ease her way out of his arms. “He’s doing better. Very compliant, though. I think he scared himself as much as he scared me.”
“That’s good, right?”
“Yeah. We’re going to use this experience to have a stronger relationship.”
“That’s wonderful. I’d like to spend more time with him and the rest of the kids. Get to know them, you know?”
His smile was so sweet. So open and sincere. “David…”
His smile vanished. “No. I don’t like it when you say my name in that tone. Good things never come from that. Let’s go out, or something? Let me distract you for a little while. How about I get changed and we go for a hike?”
“I think the world of you—”
“Nope,” he said, holding up his hand and turning away. He paced back and forth. “No, do not finish that sentence. Listen, we had a great time the other night. There is definitely something here for us to work with.”
“There might have been—”
“Maggie, you get to choose. It’s okay if you like him better than me, right now. You can still weigh out the factors. You can choose me, knowing that we can develop more passion in our relationship. I know that’s the thing you feel most with him, but it is there for us, too. And so many other things. Stability. Security. Longevity. The fact that I’m not your brother-in-law. So much more. So please, let’s just keep going with this. Make your choice based on the whole picture…not just your feelings.”
Maggie dropped her head forward and laughed in frustration. “You always do this.”
“I’m desperate.”
“It shows.”
“Maggie, I love you. I’ve always loved you. He doesn’t even know you. This is a no-brainer, honestly, you just have to step outside yourself for a minute and look at this thing objectively.”
She looked at him, at his earnest, intense gaze. His desperation. “I’m in love with Logan.”
His expression fell. The color faded from his face. “Why?”
“Why? Because I just am. And I don’t know if it will work out, or not, but I can’t go out with you while I’m waiting on him to decide on a path. It’s not fair to you.”
“I’ve already told you, I don’t mind.”
“I do. We just have to be done, David. This has to be over. I’m sorry for hurting you. But I’m standing my ground this time.”
Tears welled in his eyes. Maggie wanted to look away. His heartbreak was right out there for her to see. The strain in his muscles. The veins popping out on his neck. His color was coming back, this time redder than before. He pressed his fingertips to his temples and shook his head. “This isn’t fair.”
“I know.”
“I would do anything for you. Give anything for you. This should have been my chance. I don’t understand why everything’s going wrong.”
Maggie stepped back and watched as he went back to pacing. This was no longer about her. This was the part he had to do on his own.
“I’ve got my life together,” he said. “I have an amazing career, a great house. I’m a good person. And he’s just…just…” David threw his hands up. “I’m sure he’s fine, but I just don’t see how he’s better than me.”
“He’s not.”
“He obviously is, or you wouldn’t have chosen him.”
Maggie sighed. She could no longer look at him for very long at a time. He was breaking down in front of her, and it was painful to see. The worst part was, she couldn’t be his friend…not through this crisis. “Maybe you should go,” she said.
He looked at her with shock and heartbreak. Like she’d just spat in his face. “Give me one more chance.”
“No. Go home, David. Please.”
His shoulders sank. “I had my whole life with you envisioned. I had everything planned out. Rooms for the kids. Sunday afternoons. Pick-up and drop-off school routines. Family vacations. My nights with you after the kids were asleep. Grilling in the spring. Fireplace chats in the winter. I even saw the ring I wanted to get you… Saw it last week when I was checking in on Betty at the jewelry store.”
“You’re an amazing man, David.”
“Then why don’t you want me!” he shouted.
Maggie had never heard him raise his voice.
He must have startled even himself. He shoved a hand through his hair and took a step back. “You’re right. I should go.”
He turned to leave, stopped at the door. “I’m sorry for yelling.”
“It’s okay.”
“Goodbye, Maggie.”
“Bye, David.”
He left and she picked her paint roller up and painted frantically, using the back of her wrist to sweep away tears whenever they would get to be too much. She was near to sobbing at one point. But after a few minutes, she calmed down and her paint strokes got smoother. She lost herself in the work, making it across two walls before another vehicle pulled up.
The truck was Logan’s. So were the boots, judging by the length of his stride and the firmness of his steps.
This was the man she’d wanted to walk through the door earlier. Now, she felt a little unprepared. She wanted to keep painting in the quiet with only the strange hum of an autumn breeze blowing in the screens of her windows. She wanted to spend some time forgiving herself for what she’d put David through. And forgiving herself for what she’d put Nate through. And
just forgiving herself for being…herself.
But Logan had chosen now to show up. He would want to talk. So she put her paint roller in the tray and watched him walk through the door. He had on work jeans, a T-shirt, and his ball cap flipped backward. “Went by the house to check on Wolf,” Logan said.
She smiled. No small talk or chit-chat from this guy. “Nate’s been taking good care of him.”
“Nate was down there, in the barn. Spencer’s keeping an eye on him.”
“I’m thinking of having a tracking device implanted in him somewhere.”
Logan smiled. He looked around. “Good color. Want me to get started in the master bedroom?”
“I haven’t taped in there, yet.”
He winced. “You want me to finish this while you tape?”
“No, I’m good. You can tape.”
He cocked his head and arched a brow.
“Don’t give me that look,” Maggie said, retrieving her paint roller and taking so much joy in the normalcy of this moment. “I got here first.”
“Listen, I didn’t want to say this, because it’s going to come off sexist. But taping is women’s work.”
Maggie barked a laugh. “You’re funny, my friend.”
“You’ve got those delicate fingers, perfect for tiny detail work.”
“Quit procrastinating and get to work.”
He gave an exaggerated sigh before grabbing the painter’s tape from her work bag and dragging his feet into the bedroom. “Why didn’t we paint before we put the flooring down?” he shouted from the other room. “Then we wouldn’t have had to cover the floor.”
“Amateur mistake. Sorry.”
“If you were really sorry, you’d trade jobs.”
“This is character building for you.” She smiled her way through the rest of the living room. Getting it painted, then standing back and admiring it. Tack on the baseboards and ceiling trim, attach the outlet plates, and the room was move-in ready.
“It’s time to order cabinets,” she said, loud enough he could hear her from the other room.
He came in and stood at her side as she looked at the kitchen and all the wasted space. It was exciting to think about putting in new cabinets and countertops and an island with a bar for the kids to sit around while she made pancakes on Saturdays. Logan’s arm went around her waist. He rested a hand atop her hip.
“Thought you wanted to do the main bathroom, first.”
“Thinking of hiring that out and focusing on the kitchen.”
“I can work on it, if you want. While you focus on the kitchen.”
“Sure. You got ideas of how you want it to look?”
“It’s your bathroom, Maggie. Whatever you want, I can make it happen.”
She slid her arm around his waist and rested her head in the crook of his shoulder. “I like the attitude. But I think you should have a say in some of these decisions.”
He let out a laugh. “That’s a real turnaround.”
“I want you to like it, here.”
He grew quiet. Slid his hand up her back and gave her shoulder a squeeze. Kissed the top of her head. “Master bedroom’s ready for paint.”
“Why don’t we take a break?”
They turned to face each other. He let out a nervous laugh. “I think we should stick to work,” he said, though his cheeks were reddening by the second.
“I think we should take a break.” She moved into him. He didn’t back away. “I think we should take advantage of the fact that we’re alone, and no one’s coming round to interrupt us.”
“Interrupt us doing what, Maggie?” He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. Trailed his fingertips along her jaw. Tilted her chin up.
“Whatever,” she said, because her stomach was going crazy, and she couldn’t come up with words.
He gave up pretending he didn’t know what she meant. He leaned down to kiss her, and that kiss was a reminder that what she had with Logan was special and important. That there was no one but him in the world she needed to be with.
He broke the kiss and looked at her with hunger in his eyes. But it was different this time. He’d looked at her like he wanted her before—but there was always a sadness, there. A guilt. Like he shouldn’t be touching her but couldn’t help himself.
Now, as he gazed into her eyes, he was almost smiling. He was excited to be with her. He wasn’t going into it like a man who hated himself for following his passion. Now he was a man who knew what he wanted and was pleased to be able to take it.
Maggie smiled back at him. “I’m so excited,” she whispered.
He laughed and bit his bottom lip. He looked around. “Logistics,” he murmured, taking in the lack of furniture.
“Let’s just go with it,” she said, and she plunged her hands beneath his shirt and ran them up his abs and chest.
He lost control for a moment, and kissed her again, delving deep and pulling her tightly against him. He lifted her off the ground. She wrapped her legs around him. He stumbled forward and braced her against the wall she’d just painted.
They both froze and moved their lips apart.
“Whoops,” he said, with a boyish, guilty smile.
She laughed and plunged her fingers into his hair, kissing him hard and fast. She squirmed, locking her heels behind him to pull him closer, to feel him hard against her. The heat built inside of her and between their bodies.
He stepped back. She put her feet on the floor and pulled away just enough to tug at his shirt.
He caught her hand, looked her up and down. “I wanna take my time with you. Go somewhere with you.”
“I can’t wait another second.” She reached for his belt, groping him over his jeans before unfastening it.
“God, Maggie, why do you have to disagree with everything I say,” he murmured as he reached for her jeans.
“Told you…I’m always right,” she said as she peeled off her shirt.
He peeled off his before bringing her against him again. Kissing her, touching her, unfastening her bra and throwing it aside.
He spun her and yanked down her jeans and panties to her thighs. She fell forward and braced herself against the wall, the paint sticky on her hands. He pressed against her back.
His hands came around to stroke and squeeze her breasts.
She arched her hips back, and he groaned, freezing against her for just a moment. And then his hands slid down to her hips and he slowly pushed himself inside of her.
She couldn’t breathe. Her whole world stood still. Her whole focus was on their point of connection and the sound of his breathing, and the crushing grip of his fingertips on her hips. He pressed more fully into her and all she could think was how she wanted more. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed the whole front of his body against the length of her back. He rested his cheek on her shoulder and groaned again.
Maggie felt an overwhelming surge of emotion. She choked back tears.
Logan froze. “You good?” He asked.
“Just hold still for a moment. Please, Logan.”
He did as she asked.
This moment…she’d rushed them into it and now she wanted to make it last. Her first time with another man. Her first time with Logan. What she’d wanted since the moment she’d laid eyes on him.
Tears flowed down her cheeks, and she gasped for air like she couldn’t get enough of it.
Logan held her tighter. “Need me to back off?” he asked in a raspy voice.
“No. God, no. I just want to feel this for a moment. Forever.”
“I wanted to take it slow.”
“I know. You were right.”
He chuckled into her hair. “My first time with Maggie,” he said in that low drawl of his. He began moving, a slow rocking at first. “She couldn’t keep her hands off me,” he said, telling the story. “Ended up having to repaint the living room.”
She laughed and wondered at how amazing it was to be able to laugh in a moment like this. How natural and s
incere and right they were for each other. “Oh, Logan, this feels so good.”
He moved a little faster, a little deeper. “So good,” he groaned.
She had to brace herself more firmly. He held her flush against him and rocked her like he didn’t care if they knocked the whole house down. He breathed frantically, and so did she. His hands were free to roam and they did…to her breasts and belly and then down further between her legs. He found the place that made her cry out, and he massaged her there as he moved into her over and over and over until she was on the edge of breaking—until she couldn’t tell the difference between pleasure and pain…until she was on the verge of weeping and screaming and bursting into a thousand pieces…
He brought her there and he took her further…stretching out the moment beyond what she ever imagined possible, like a guitar string tightening and tightening, pitching higher and higher…
She broke against his hand with a cry and a full-body tremor that left her gasping for breath.
Logan’s own release came a moment later, his arms squeezing her painfully tight, his own cries locked behind teeth squeezed tightly shut.
In the aftermath he leaned against her and her arm muscles burned and trembled under the weight.
At last he pulled back away from her, pulling her back with him so that she could lower her aching arms. He was grinning at her, pulling up his jeans, fastening his belt, looking all proud of himself.
She stared up at him as she pulled up her own jeans. She barely got them fastened when he pulled her into an embrace. She realized she was holding back because of the paint that was on her hands, so she slapped them against his ass and wiped the paint off onto his jeans. Then she slid her hands up his powerful back and rested against his chest at last.