by Ava D. Dohn
* * *
The luncheon was a delight, taking Mihai’s mind completely off any earlier unpleasantries. With Mother’s help, she conjured up hot biscuits, sweet jams, a stick of salted, herbed cheese, two goblets of Medeba mint-cherry wine, and all sorts of little goodies that make a meal just right.
Although a few of the oldest children could master some control over the elements, as such mind manipulation was often called, only Ma-we had ever demonstrated it this powerfully. Sharing her ability by channeling her energy through Mihai’s mind, but letting the girl choose what appeared for the feast, was appreciated and enjoyed, making the meal taste so much better.
After watching dishes and leftovers vanish from sight, Ma-we suggested they retire to the balcony. “The breeze drifts up from below, carrying with it the fragrance of so many summer flowers. Come, take my ivory chair and recline. The golden willow one I shall have.”
The two strolled out to the balcony, chatting about unimportant matters. Mihai sat, patting her flowing dress to smooth it. Ma-we stopped behind her chair, gazing over the handrail at the garden below. Her clothing, other than a necklace of diamonds and rubies, and an anklet of sapphires, was but her long, golden hair dancing and floating on the breeze. When asked once by a newcomer to her world why the children so often went naked, she answered, surprised, ‘Why, I have clothed them already! See how all that is private to each is hidden by downy fluff?’ She laughed. ‘And it is so easy to wash...’
Ma-we remained silent for some time, pondering the hours – past, present and future. The sun had long waxed high past the noon hour before she spoke. Time was such a fleeting thing. Today…today Ma-we had long ago chosen to be a pivotal point in fate’s history…if Chance smiled on her. Faith was the only gift she had to curry Chance’s favor – faith that her daughter could comprehend the meaning of true wisdom. Well, she would do her best to ignite that wisdom, starting at this moment.
Mihai patiently waited for her mother to speak. The morning had belonged to her. Now was Lowenah’s turn. She did not know if Ma-we would approve her resignation… but Mother had not rejected it either. If the issue was to be addressed today, it was not to be done by her mouth. Ma-we knew her daughter’s desires. She also knew her daughter’s heart better than Mihai.
How to start? Ma-we puzzled. The future of all life in the realms above and below might well depend on decisions made this day. She thought of counsel she once offered to Tolohe, ‘The wise often do not act wisely because they attempt to see wisdom through the eyes of another wise one. Wisdom is to make decisions based not on the knowledge of others, but on your own. If you ignore the emotional wisdom of your heart, seeing it as mere foolishness, and choose to follow only the enlightened wisdom of your mind, then you will surely fail.’
Today Mihai must decide the fate of worlds. There was nothing else for it. Mother had surrendered her sovereign powers up to her children when she endowed them with freedom… freedom to choose for themselves fate’s course. Mihai must have the same freedom today and her mother must be careful in word and action not to violate that right. Should she fail, by robbing her daughter of this most precious gift, then all would be lost anyway.
Ma-we smiled. There was hope. Mihai was very emotional.
Her eyes still fixed on the garden below, Ma-we softly asked, “My child of the Golden Age, Mistress of the Emerald Sea, and heir of all things good in my heart, do you love me?”
What a simple question. In the world of men, it is carelessly bantered about whenever the heart flutters in disquiet. But, for Mihai, it was like the edge of a blazing sword, piercing flesh and spirit. What great failure on her daughter’s part had driven Lowenah, the mother of love – indeed, the very essence of love – to question the motives of this most loyal of children? What evil did she see in her child?
Troubled to the point of being distraught, Mihai faltered, fearing the response from her reply. “Mother, the light of all my life, my heart knows no other like that of the love in my heart for you. If your little child has failed in her love, please, show her where she must correct her understanding.”
Ma-we remained silent, seemingly absorbed in the visual delights of the garden. After what was an agonizing eternity for Mihai, Ma-we responded with another question. “Michael, daughter of the dawn, swaddled in moonbeams, serenaded by the swans, child of my flesh… do you trust me?”
Mother’s words were filled with endearments, but Mihai could tell they were only a candy coating for a very bitter pill. It was obvious that Lowenah was probing the woman’s very being, searching her to her kidneys, but for what? In what way was Mihai lacking? How had she injured her mother’s heart so as to be receiving such punishment? Was she going in the way of her evil brother, just not arrived there yet?
No! Mihai could not believe her soul was so corrupted as that. Yet in some way she had failed… or was failing. In agony of heart, Mihai cried out, “How has the child of your dreams come to despise the Giver of life?! I cannot see the darkness of betrayal you impute I carry. Please! My Lord! My God! How do I lack trust in you?!”
Unmoved, Ma-we asked yet a third question. “My precious love, child of the free days, ruler as if Firstborn, to whom all things have been given, to whom do my children belong? Who is their God?”
To Mihai’s already aching heart, this question added bewilderment and confusion. Mihai was not god over the souls of this place. Never had she contemplated such a thing. Asotos did! Was Mother implying that her daughter had, in some way, also sought godship for herself?
With tears, Mihai pleaded with Ma-we. “Mother! Oh, Mother! Creator of all things! Where have I failed you and how have I stolen your crown from off you? Please! Your child begs you. Do not torment her soul any longer! What wickedness is she guilty of?”
Ma-we did not reply swiftly. She was waiting for her daughter to absorb the full impact of the lesson being taught. Oh, yes! Mother was there for the present, to assist in time of need. She frowned at the thought, because off in the distance she could see a darkness ever growing. There were days coming when her wise counsel might well be far out of reach of her children. Mihai would then have to depend on her own heart to guide her across jagged skies.
“Tell me, oh king over all living things…” Ma-we paused for effect.
It worked very well. In only seconds, Mihai was sobbing in near uncontrolled tears. Mother’s tone of voice had carried with it an accuser’s tongue, implying a usurper in her company. Ma-we smiled to herself. Her child was not arrogant, proud or boastful, that she could tell. It is most interesting what a few well-placed questions can reveal.
Ma-we patiently waited for her daughter’s tears to subside and then began to quiz Mihai on lessons past. “Tell me, please, when you long ago walked among men of clay, did you not see the evil of men over-lording men?”
Mihai nodded.
Turning to face her, Ma-we continued, “And did you not see how men would honor me with their lips, yet despise me with their actions?”
“Yes.”
“And yet, those very men who so openly praised me rejected my power to bring a rebirth to those who had come before them. Am I not right?”
“Yes, Mother! You are so right.” Mihai nodded.
Leaning forward, Ma-we squinted, eyeing her daughter. “If I recall correctly, when confronted by those same wicked men, you confessed openly that I was the ‘God of the living’, expressing your full confidence in my abilities to renew life. Is that not what you, yourself, said?”
Mihai’s heart beat in trepidation, knowing that, in some way, her actions had stirred this conversation. But, as Mother was so skilled at doing, the girl’s curiosity had been roused. No matter how painful the lesson, she must hear it out.
She answered, “Yes, Mother, those were my words to them.”
Standing back, Ma-we asked, “Indeed! What ability did I pass along to you while your feet tr
ead the fields of that land?”
With eyes not yet understanding, Mihai responded, “You handed over to me the gift of life renewed in order to prove to the wicked that you were a God to be reckoned with.”
Ma-we wagged her finger. “And…after you, yourself, had been cut off from life among the people and your spirit had returned to the Field of the Minds, what did I do for you by my own hands?”
Mihai lowered her eyes, beginning to comprehend. Her reply was subdued, “You returned my spirit from the Field of the Minds, placing me in a body even more glorious than the one I earlier possessed. You returned me to the living.”
Turning her back on Mihai, Ma-we walked to the balcony’s rail and peered up toward the cloudless sky. “Tell me, Michael, daughter of eternity, the light of all lights… to whom do the children belong?”
“To you, Mother… to you!”
Ma-we’s head snapped around, her eyes aflame, “Tell me, then, daughter of foolish and ignorant thought, why do you steal them from me, gathering them to your own bosom, when you can do nothing for them at all?!”
Mihai was caught up speechless.
Ma-we pointed a finger at her chest. “My milk was the first fruits for all my children! To suckle first at my breasts was the gift I gave to living things. My name that is yet secret to all my children is a name given me by the Ones Who Came Before to give glory to the Maker of life. Into my bosom do all the children, the wicked and the just, come!”
“Michael, into your hands have I placed the authority to bring death upon my children, the wicked and the righteous. But you cannot give one moment of glory to what is mine, alone, to give. To me does life belong and to me…” She thumped her chest again, “my children yet live!”
Ma-we added an explanation. “You have led my children into battle, fighting great wars in my name. You have ordered their death, but forgotten who they are willing to die for. Your have taken personal responsibility for the death of each one, forgetting they are a free people, making free choices, choosing a course they feel is best for all.”
“You have cursed yourself for foolish actions, when my children… many far wiser than you… silently obey your commands. They do it not out of fear of you, for my children do not fear you, but it is out of love for me, because I placed you in such a relative position. They do what is right because they see it as the right thing to do.”
She pointed down toward her garden. “Michael! My children would follow that turnip if I ask them to. They follow me!”
Ma-we gestured, waving her hands to and fro. “Michael, one who is field marshal is but a tool of mine, a living, breathing, thinking tool. I wield it as I see fit. Should I say to it, ‘go forth and slaughter the world,’ it will do as I command. The one who is my field marshal has thus surrendered up their freedom to follow my whim. They have become a slave to me, the true master of the sword.”
“Do you not understand, Michael? When you place guilt upon your soul for the needless slaughter of my children, you are implying that I am no better than the Wicked One, sending my children to the death in an unholy war. If the ax cannot cut down the tree because it is not sharpened, do you hold guilty the ax or the woodsman? Michael, you are declaring me, the woodsman, guilty, because you accuse me of using a dull ax!”
“My child!” Ma-we was pleading for her daughter to understand. “You make my war with your brother invalid, because you take away its righteousness! You carry in your soul the memories of lost loved ones as if you’ll never see them again! You become a false prophet, crying out with your mouth my praises, while with your actions you say that I am impudent - or worse, a liar! How is that showing love to me, if you declare me the one acting with falsehood?”
Ma-we did not leave Mihai time to rest in thought. “If your heart believes this war is unnecessary, thus the needless slaughter of righteous souls, you are saying to me that I have made a hasty decision and trod the way of the stupid one. Your words of self-deprecation imply that I…I am little better than a fool! Who can trust a fool?!”
“And…!” Ma-we repeatedly poked a finger into her opened palm. “And if your soul fears never seeing your loved ones again so that you must somehow protect my little lambs, you have committed thievery against me, stealing my children from my bosom!”
Abruptly turning away, Ma-we walked to the far end of the balcony and spun around, resting her hands on the ornate rail behind her. With majestic power, she demanded, “Michael, my trusted lieutenant, address me, please, regarding my words! As my chief steward, speak to me! Are my words not legitimate in their context and truth?!”
The blood had long since drained from Mihai’s face, her pallor reflecting remorse and sadness, her heart aching with a desire for death. Yet, as Ma-we well knew, Mihai was made of good stuff. The woman would not allow her emotions to rule the day. There was a lesson in Mother’s words – words, mind you, that she had so carefully conjured. Mihai pushed away the pain, seeking the prize of understanding, for understanding might just bring her wisdom, and wisdom might save her from disaster.
At long last, Mihai answered with halting reply, “Yehowah…the Maker of promises and Fulfiller of dreams, your servant - the tool you have put faith in - your servant girl does not have a reply for you. Should she live a million more moons, would there be found wisdom at her feet? Or if she suckled a million sons, how would it compare to the lives of your children? A prattler of empty thoughts and purveyor of mindless sayings is your daughter. Why does your wisdom allow her continued breath?”
She sat silent in thought as Ma-we ambled back, reclining in her willow chair. Gradually her color returned. After a long, remorseful sigh, Ma-we’s child mourned, “Naked I came into this world, knowing nothing and caring even less. It appears that I have learned little since. I have acted so foolishly because I saw you through my heart, not accepting your wisdom could be far greater than mine, and your viewpoint far different. My little world of desire, wishing for things that lie in the ashes of the past, made me forget the reason I still live, why my brothers and sisters live. We are your agents, for good or for bad. Who are we to question you?”
Looking into Ma-we’s eyes she asked, “Please forgive…”
“Listen, then, and become wise!” Ma-we went on with her lesson, not wanting to hear the confessions of a troubled heart. “People act foolishly. Why, if you include foreknowledge as part of the margin of wisdom, chiding someone for the lack of prescience, then I guess you could say that no one is exempted from foolishness…no one…which means we - including me - are deficient in wisdom.”
She leaned forward, staring at a very surprised Mihai. “That’s right! I have acted without wisdom, and on more than one occasion! Remember I said that I had failed to consider that a monster might be living in your mind? And what of the Rebellion? My heart refused to listen to the wisdom of my hidden council, warning me that such a thing would happen.”
“Wisdom is based on knowledge, reasoning and understanding. If any one is lacking, then wisdom can never be achieved. Should a ship’s captain reason, ‘if a strong wind drives the vessel faster than a breeze, then a tempest should hurry us even more quickly to our destination’, the only destination achieved will be one of disaster. Was the captain’s knowledge of the wind in the sails wrong?”
She waved her hand, shaking her head. “No! But he lacked reasoning or understanding. I have no need to explain to you why such a viewpoint would be foolish, but you do need to see that, to the captain, his conclusions drawn were reasonable and possibly wise, not foolish.”
“What of the proverb ‘let the inexperienced one become wise’? To become wise, you must first accept your own limitations concerning a matter, whether it be from lack of knowledge, insight, experience or…or for any other reason. Don’t try to out-think yourself… your personal abilities, I mean. If you would not make unattainable promises just to soothe someone’s soul, don’t do the same because you bel
ieve it is the right thing to do. In either case, you will fail in the end.”
Mihai argued, “I grasp your words…at least I would like to think I do, but there have been times I did seek wisdom, not only my own, but that of my greatest councilors.” She shook her head. “We still met with disaster. Memphis…”
“Let go of Memphis!” Ma-we sputtered. “Do you know for a certainty that you might not have averted an even greater disaster? I will tell you, Legion was preparing a massive counterattack that could well have swept your lead forces from their works and possibly been able to drive you to surrender. The Spider’s Lair is an impossible place to hold without proper ground support. Had he succeeded in his plan, your losses would have been double and… and you could never have forced an armistice on your brother.”
Mihai was shocked with surprise. “How…”
“Oh, stop it, Dear.” Ma-we gently scolded. “I do not live in a cave. Few are the things that escape my attention.”
A butterfly settled down on Ma-we’s hand. She paused to examine it, stroking it with her finger. Eventually she returned to giving Mihai advice. “Learn from disaster. At times a person must make a decision, the outcome being insignificant. At Memphis, you had to attack. I knew it and put it in my children’s hearts to do so. If you had refused to order, I would have found another to do it. My tool, remember? My will.”
With a poof! Ma-we tossed the butterfly into the air, it spreading its wings onto the breeze and drifting into the sky. She smiled. “There! I have given it freedom. If my little friend lives to plant its eggs under a leaf or if it becomes a meal for a hungry bird, little is the matter. Freedom does not guarantee success. It only guarantees freedom!”
“And there is the difference between my children and the positions of power they attain to.” Ma-we pulled her chair close so she could touch her daughter. After reaching out and taking Mihai’s hand, she continued, “I have given to all my children freedom… freedom to choose good and bad… freedom to be wise or foolish… freedom to disagree, even with me. That is what freedom is all about.”
She shook her head. “Even your brother I refuse to bring to nothing. Freedom means that I…even I…will not bring the wicked to eternal emptiness. No. Does this mean they will not come to an end? Not at all!” She pointed toward the distant butterfly. “Remember, when one refuses to act shrewdly, a hungry bird will devour it. The wicked no longer act shrewdly. They have entered a world filled with righteous birds who hunger to bring wickedness to nothing.”
“Now, if your Mother will not bring down the wicked, because of the freedom I have endowed them with, do you think I will force my loyal children to bend to my will?” She shook her head. “With my servants, I demand they do my will, as I demand with my field marshal. The field marshal shall accomplish whatever I wish. But my children… well…”
Ma-we played with Mihai’s fingers, her voice becoming chatty. “My children have freedom to choose what they wish to do. I never force them to do my will… never. You must understand. To take away a person’s freedom is the greatest of all thefts. Far better it is to send the universe to damnation than to steal freedom from the least of my children.”
She stared up into Mihai’s eyes. “And you are far from the least...” Then shrugging, added, “Besides, if I did steal that freedom, directly or indirectly, the universe might fall into damnation eventually anyway, for I could not live with myself over such a theft. I very might well bring the universe to nothing because of my own grief!”
Curious, Mihai asked, “How, then, does one tell the difference between selfishness of the heart, the desire to satisfy one’s flesh, and honest freedom, the need to do what is right for the soul?”
Ma-we grinned. “Need I remind you of your education? I will not waste our day explaining the basics of your EbenCeruboam, for you have studied it well. What I will say is this…” She began waving her hand as she went on. “Having all knowledge of something is not necessary when reasoning is added. The reasoning person will close up the barn, considering a storm might arrive late in the night. And a wise person will reason that a sword’s blade is as sharp as a knife’s. It is the principle of the matter. Principle is based on the harmonic law ‘if the falling boulder will crush you, a crashing meteor will do no less’.”
“So, if you reach out to the harmonics using a little reasoning, you will comprehend what is selfishness of the heart or flesh and what is necessary food for the soul. It is not the mind dictating through its logic, and it is not the heart, alone, feeling its way along. It is the balance of mind and heart. If you carefully use them both, you will gain success. Even if the decision should cause you pain, it will not bring you doom.”
She slapped Mihai’s hand. “My dear one, if you listen to the harmonic music surrounding you… and, may I add, enhanced by the ring you wear yet despise, you will not falter…ever!”
Mihai’s face belied her confusion.
Ma-we sputtered, “I do not have all day to put a fire in your brain. Child, have you ever told me an untruth?”
Mihai groaned. “Yes, once long ago when I was little more than a babe. I tried to hide from you the beautiful stone I stole from your garden.”
Ma-we peered into Mihai’s eyes. “But you confessed your bad deed to me, without my asking. Why?”
“Because…” Mihai thought a moment. “Because it felt wrong. Something inside me said I had acted inappropriately. I was a bad girl.”
Ma-we smiled again. “There! Enough said. When you listen to the harmonics, you will never falter. Never!”