by Ava D. Dohn
*
The inner chambers were unnaturally dim. Or was it only the contrast between that and the bright daylight on the balcony? Mihai thought not. For sure, the worlds of Lowenah’s house had grown in darkness. Was it then an omen of sorts, or a warning? Possibly… Mother was known to do such things. As Mihai walked further on, she searched for revealing clues.
It was not long before the woman stopped up short. The place where she and Ma-we earlier lunched was hidden in golden silk curtains. Strangely opaque, they allowed no light either in or, more importantly, out. Ma-we halted behind her daughter, saying not a word. She waited for her child to decide what move to make. Destiny rested with her this day.
Drawing the curtains aside, Mihai entered what was now a tiny chamber nearly filled by the table and divan where she earlier dined. Following closely behind, Ma-we entered, letting the curtain fall closed behind her. Darkness quickly wrapped its arms around them.
Mihai began to sniff the air, as if someone or something was hiding itself within. There was an energy secreted away here, different than any she had ever felt before. Her senses warned her of a power the likes of which was unknown among her people lurking here. For good or ill, it anxiously waited its discovery, calling out a haunting refrain to Mihai’s ears, beseeching the girl to reveal it.
A glint of light caught Mihai’s eye, soon growing into a glow that cast its golden radiance over the table and the objects on it. As the woman watched, the hypnotizing light slowly descended, gradually surrendering its glory over to what rested upon the table.
Mihai gasped in awe and wonder. “It is so magnificent and beautiful! Mother! What glory you have kept in shadows until this day...” The girl in Mihai could not resist the urge to make a close examination of the prizes in front of her. She walked forward, reaching out to the treasures, picking each up, one after the other, studying them carefully.
The first to draw her attention was a golden scepter about two long cubits in length, tapering in width from Mihai’s two fingers in breadth to slightly less than that of one-and-a-half. Made of black organin mountain teak inlaid with acacia wood, ivoriun tusk ivory, carved crimson stature mollusk shell, rainbow jade and countless jewels, the scepter shone bright with majesty and dignity.
As her hands caressed the finely engraved staff, Mihai’s fingers slipped around and over its bulbous orb of gold, chrysolite and gemstones, sending a sensual wave of excitement through her body. Like a lover’s touch, it aroused her. “Oh! Oh, my! It sings songs of love to me.” She then puzzled. “It feels like the music of my sisters’ fingers playing upon my flesh.”
Suddenly the seven gemstones on the orb’s fillet ignited into flaming hues, each one a different color, sending a tingling sensation through Mihai. “My body fills with passion desired…” She frowned, bewildered. “But it is to satisfy my heart with my sisters’ love that it sings out to me.”
Ma-we stood back, in the shadows, watching Mihai marveling at the gemstones as they began to pulse randomly, one at a time.
Drawing the scepter close to her face, Mihai began to distinguish written script above each of the seven glowing gemstones. She began to read aloud the words, slowly rotating the orb from left to right, reading the inscriptions in order.
“The flaming pink one reads, ‘Varda, the flowers in my garden welcome the king.’”
“The gem that glows copper reads, ‘Uma, I shall make the king into mighty nations.’”
“This one that shines golden, ‘Nesya the gift from God I am, to satisfy my king’s every delight.’”
“Here is one whose light is brilliant, glittering onyx black, ‘Adaya, I shall haunt my king’s dreams with night’s love calls.’”
“The one glowing scarlet reads, ‘Sirion, I burn passion-red for my king.’”
“And look! The one emerald blue reads ‘Tzila, come to my shadows, my king, and refresh your spirit with my love.’”
“Oh! This hurts my eyes for its brilliance of burning, forest green! It reads, ‘Sharon, let my breasts excite you, oh my king, and find refreshment in their milk.’”
Mihai swooned after naming the gemstones, feeling a sensuous passion slowly overwhelming her soul. She quickly put the scepter down, asking, “What do they mean, Ma-we? What do all the names and words really mean?”
Ma-we quietly answered, “Little I will tell you but this: the names are of ones and also many. The words are but one song, sung by my daughters all. I will say no more.”
After thanking her mother for the explanation, Mihai picked up the second object, a golden circlet crown with a raised, pointed, frontal crest embellished with an ivory-white sapphire resting over a green, glittering emerald. Twenty-four smaller points of chrysolite-gold circled the crown, each with a sapphire of different hue.
Light as a feather it was, cool to the touch, but it made Mihai’s heart warm with desire for close companions. She became suspicious. “Mother, oh, Mother! My desire grows ever stronger to hold my sister in the fashion a man does. Is the beauty I see in this coronet attempting my seduction? Does its fiery glow seek to entrap my heart with manly passion?”
Ma-we mildly replied, “What you hold was not made anew. It was crafted by mystic hands in secret places long ago, during the carefree days, to be given to the one person who would stand above all others. It knows not your touch or who you are, but only sings the songs given it so many lifetimes of men ago.”
Curious, Mihai searched the crown for other clues. Suddenly the green emerald began to glow bright, its flame revealing hidden words. The woman mouthed them aloud. “Ĕlah · Hod · Zakar-Geber · Nasab.” (The words, when translated into the common tongue of your day, are pronounced ‘Yehowahboam’, 'the man who stands in the place of God’).
Mihai puzzled but a moment before her face paled. She read the words again, rereading over and over ‘Zakar-Geber, Zakar-Geber’. All too clearly did the woman understand the meaning of the two words, each representing the same identity and being placed together adding double emphasis. The words’ translation tumbled from her quivering lips. “The man…the man...”
With shaking hands, Mihai returned the crown to the table, almost dropping it as she did. Turning toward her mother, her eyes burned with trepidation and fear, shouting out the pain tearing at Mihai’s heart.
Ma-we slowly shook her head, speaking in little more than a hush. “My lovely one, first of your kind, bringer of joy to my birthing pains, you have not been unknowing of this day. It was told to you millennia ago by your own sister, Gabrielle, as she spoke to the one who came to be your mother in the Realms Below. Time you have had to contemplate this moment, to consider its worth to you and the others among you.”
“Sweet One of my heart, nursemaid to heroes and lords, the time has come to set things in place. My children cry out for a king. A king! For a king can govern in times of peace as well as times of war. The children tire for lack of knowledge. ‘Tell us please, oh Mighty One, who shall become our leader to bring us to the end of this wicked time?!’ What shall I say to them, to myself?”
Mihai’s knees shook and her legs wobbled. She barely managed to find the divan before collapsing to the floor. Her head spun with dread. ‘The man! The man!’ The king must be a male, child of manliness, ‘masculine divine’.
Spasms racked her body as she thought of the change she must have made to herself should the crown become hers. Holding her head in her hands, with mournful cries she pleaded, “What shall I do?! Oh! My belly burns with damnable fire and my breasts ache as if torn away!” She began to weep.
Ma-we settled down next to her daughter, but did not touch her, waiting until Mihai’s tears and outcries subsided before speaking. “My dearest daughter, one lovely like the gazelle and comely as the hind with its child, you know my law, and that it cannot be broken by my own hand, for treacherous I would be to do so. You are the one who has gained legal right to my throne. I must offer it
to you.”
She became silent, waiting for Mihai to consider her words. Although her daughter’s outward emotions calmed, Ma-we could still see how distraught the woman was.
Reaching out, she stroked the child’s long hair. “Oh, my golden sunshine of lilting song, no more charming voice does the katchberry robin have when she sings to her lover. You must choose for yourself which road to take. Does my daughter accept this crown of glory or not?”
Leaning her head back against the divan, Mihai cried out in angry bewilderment, “Mother! Is it with evil that you keep calling out to me, ‘oh, my daughter’?!”
Ma-we said not a word. She kept still and waited.
As Mihai sat, eyes closed, she searched events of her earlier life, cursing her past love and loyalty. Never had she ached so! Even her torture at Asotos’ hands appeared distant and less tormenting. She had passed all the legal requirements for the crown - that is, except one - the one Ma-we had not yet spoken of. But there was no need for her to.
Long had Mihai, indeed, had all the children known. The king sitting on Yehowah’s throne must be a man. A man! How those words burned into Mihai’s soul. So much she wanted to give to Ma-we what she wanted, and she knew that, as a man, her mother would still love her… maybe even more than as she was now - a chatty, impetuous, nuisance. Another wave of hopeless anguish swept over her, and she began to weep anew.
Through her tears, the woman attempted to reason her situation. ‘Was it really so bad, to become a man?’ Why, for several decades she had walked the Lower Realms in the flesh of a man. To this day she remembered the male strength and will, the feeling of might and leadership as a man felt it. ‘It was not so bad, was it?’ Mihai suddenly doubled up in pain as her stomach churned in tumult.
After the nauseous storm subsided, Mihai sat back, forcing her mind to think past a pulsing headache steadily gaining in strength. What was really so disturbing about her becoming a man? After all, as king, she would have greater power than all others, mortal or immortal, other than Ma-we. Such immortal power should be more than great enough to suppress any feelings secreted in a fickle heart. But what if she did lose control? Not to worry, there would be many other immortals to hold any foolish actions in check.
Again the girl wretched in agony, but only a little bile reached her mouth. Something was wrong…so wrong. Mihai’s heart was in full rebellion, seeking vengeance upon a confused mind. Each time the woman considered accepting the crown, her heart would throw her body into a near seizure, turning her stomach over and over while twisting her innards up in knots.
Leaning back, Mihai rolled her head from side to side in desperation, moaning in agony, “Mother of all living things, Witch of the dawning, why do you persecute me with your offers? Shall a mouse call out to the lion with bold enough words to chase it away? My soul dies from its own distress. Save me the pain of this moment! Allow your child to pass away into nothingness!”
Ma-we did not move or speak.
As her headache reached blinding proportions, Mihai cried out, “What of the prophecy?! What of it?! Shall life go on if the mouse does not become the lion?! Do I doom the universe with wicked reasonings?!” Her mind reeled with a vision of seeing the worlds of all flesh dissolving into dust because the throne sat empty of its king. But she was rightful heir to the crown. What would happen if she declined it? Would all be lost?
‘There is nothing else for it! It must be done!’ Mihai opened her mouth to take up the scepter and submit to the changes she would be required to make in accepting it. As she did, her heart forced one more convulsion, filling the woman’s mouth with vomit, gagging her into silence.
After a bout of coughing and hacking to keep from suffocating, an exhausted and distraught Mihai fell back on the divan, sweating profusely as she mumbled through the spittle, “Ma-we... Ma-we...”
What was it the heart was recalling that Mihai could not remember? Was there something of greater consequence from her younger life that held precendence over this moment in time in value and importance? Mihai thought about it. Only a vow or oath given by the Maker of Worlds could possibly be of greater worth…not to be negated by any later vow.
Struggling to recall times past for some memory of a promise given, Mihai repeatedly cried out as if in labor pains, but no answer came. Desperately she searched, clutching her head and straining to see the ages of her life when the world was innocent and free. Still nothing…
‘Remember AsreHalom, my child.’ What?! Why could remembering such an evil man at this moment assist Mihai in her hour of need? ‘Remember AsreHalom…’ Mother’s earlier words refused to abandon Mihai’s heart. ‘Remember AsreHalom, the sorcerer.’
Mihai’s eyes popped open. AsreHalom was a sorcerer of wonder, able to induce his own mystic dreams by inner chants and incantations. His visions were profound and insightful, as if he had tapped into a secret world of magic. Mihai remembered him doing it once. How she marveled at the wise knowledge he later revealed.
But, how?! AsreHalom was an ancient of Ancients, his power nearly that of Chrusion. She had to try, though! What else was she to do?! After all, the woman did have the ring of the Firstborn. Maybe it would give her the added power to reach beyond her consciousness and into forgotten places and days. ‘Focus on the ring! Focus on the ring and all that it has seen and heard since its making so very long ago!’
Lifting the ring before her eyes, Mihai began a quiet chant of the only words that formed in her mind. ‘Strange…’ she thought and began singing,
“Ma-we… Ma-we…
oh, my Mother, dear.
Ma-we… Ma-we…
your heart’s beat is all your daughter hears.
Ma-we… Ma-w…”
Mihai’s head slowly fell back as her hand dropped into her lap. While her lips continued to move, they produced no sound.
Down, down, down the girl was swept, falling back through time and space, to an earlier age, a dark vortex enveloping Mihai’s body with freezing chills, followed by almost unbearable heat. The wars of this age quickly whisked into the blurring future, rapidly followed by other personal events experienced through the woman’s eyes.
On and on she plummeted, twirling and twisting, every second revealing hundreds of millennia, so many forgotten memories re-burned into Mihai’s mind. JabethHull and Nhoset suddenly flashed before her eyes and were as quickly gone, but it felt to the woman as if she had relived every moment with them again.
Instantly, she experienced her first night of loving when she came of age, then that day’s celebrating. She was just turned twelve. And then…and then Mihai heard a screeching in her ears just before being slammed into something rock-solid hard as all went dark and silent.
Gradually the world around Mihai regained its focus, as she stared into an afternoon sky, its blue, shimmering brilliance almost blinding. With effort, she sat and looked around, uncertain of what she would see. The woman was disappointed.
Standing, Mihai sputtered, “Must have walked in my vision. Ma-we?! Mother? Are you there? I’m out here on the balcony.” No reply came. “Whatever…” Mihai mumbled, disgusted that her vision had fizzled into little more than a mindless ambling, ending in a painful fall. She rubbed her hip, slowly stumbling back inside.
“Ma-w…?” Mihai stopped, gawking at the room.
Where were the curtain, the crown, the scepter? Where was Mother? The table and divan were empty, void of any treasures… and Ma-we? Where had she wandered off to? “Anybody!?” Mihai started for the portico, feeling her mother may have had unexpected business in the reception hall.
Laughter followed by a child singing brought Mihai to an instant stop, “What the…?!” staring off toward a distant doorway, waiting and wondering at what she was hearing. She was not kept waiting long.
A little blond girl danced into the room. Mihai blurted out, “Who are you?!” The child ignored her, pretending she was
not even there. Mihai raised her voice. “Little girl! Who are you and where is Mother?” Paying no heed to the woman, the child continued on, prancing into the room, singing a silly song, bouncing a ball to the rhythm.
Growing frustrated, Mihai was about to shout at the child when the silly tune caught her attention, it being strangely familiar to her ears. She paused to listen.
The child’s eyes twinkled with delight as she began anew the merry refrain.
“Mother said we could go today,
Mother said we could do today,
Mother said we could see today,
Mother said we could have today.
Mother said we could have today,
Mother said we could get today,
Mother said we would be today,
Mother said we could play today.”
Twice more the child sang these verses, changing them ever so slightly.
“Mother said we could have,
Mother said we would be,
Mother said we would have,
Mother said we could be.
Mother said we should have,
Mother said we could have,
Mother said we will have,
Mother said we must have.”
Again the girl repeated the stanzas twice more, shortening them, speeding up the tune, increasing the speed of the bouncing ball.
“Mother said we should,
Mother said we could,
Mother said we must,
Mother said we will.”
She repeated the tune the same as the other times, but now, when she picked up the following verse, it became a chant of sorts.
“Mother said we,
Mother said we,
Mother said we,
Mother said we.”
The girl’s voice grew in excitement until the chant became a cry, like some beast calling out its coming feast.
“Mother we,
Mother we,
Mother we,
Mother we.”
Over and over she shouted the refrain, growing in intensity until Mihai thought the child would burst a vocal cord. About the time the words became little more than garbled sounds, the child stopped, clutching the ball. Then, with deliberate slowness in drawing out her words, the girl started a new verse, chanting it only once.
“Ma… we,
Ma… we,
Ma… we,
Ma… we.”
All fell suddenly silent. The little girl stared down at the floor, a huge smile beaming on her face. At length, she looked up and over at Mihai. With the tone of voice of a little girl filled with the smug joy of impossible wishes assured, the child announced, “She promised us today! Didn’t she?! Didn’t she?! She said we would have one, today. Didn’t she?! Didn’t she?!”
Mihai slapped her head in astonishment as she cried, “This cannot be! You are me, or who I was so long ago!”
The little girl giggled, “I am not who you think I am. I live in a world of promises come true. I do not hope, for I do know it is so. Mother promised. My Ma-we promised. She said that when he becomes a god, I would be given my wish.”
The child bent forward, laughing, “I have never changed, but still live in mystic worlds where no pain can touch me. Ma-we promised… Yes! Yes! She did!”
Mihai shook her head. “You’re not real! This is a vision gone wrong…a vision gone terribly wrong! Mother?!”
The child pouted, chiding Mihai, “You refuse to admit me alive. But I live! Always will! You cannot kill a dream! Never will I depart your soul, for I am who you still are! You! You are returning to me, not I to you!”
Mihai’s anger erupted. “You’re a dream, a silly, foolish, dream of a vision! You do not exist in my world anymore! Anymore!”
Now the child’s anger was roused and she threatened, “You will never be rid of me! I will haunt your waking dreams if you betray the promise Ma-we has given me. I will never let you rest! Never!” She then screamed, “Mother promised!”
It was as if the girl’s last heated breath ignited a tempest. Mihai was swept from her feet and flung into the air as her world plunged into darkness in the raging storm. Soon all conscious thought faded away into nothingness.
Gradually Mihai’s senses returned. Through a pounding headache, her eyes eventually came into focus in the curtained room from where her adventure had begun. All was as it had been, Ma-we quietly sitting beside her on the divan, the table illuminated by the scepter and crown. The woman placed her hand to her forehead and moaned. Ma-we said not a word, her breathing quiet and controlled.
The vision still burned brightly inside the woman, spinning round and round. Pushing it back in her mind, she again bent her attention to the issue at hand. Returning to the table, Mihai began reexamining the crown, studying the inscription once more.
‘Elah · Hod · Zakar-Geber · Nasab’… Something was strange about the word placement. Mihai puzzled. The proper wordage layout in the language of her people was out of order. Why would Mother have mixed them around? It wouldn’t have been an accident, not from Ma-we. And the first letter of each word was capitalized. How unusual…
‘A riddle? Or possibly a hidden message…’ That was Ma-we, always playing games with her children, secrets hidden within secrets, the obvious hidden in the mist. Mihai concentrated on the inscription.
Suddenly her eyes opened in surprise. She read aloud the first letter of each word. “E – H – Z – G – N.” Putting them together, the woman spelled them out, “EHZGN”.
With a jolt, Mihai jumped back, gasping, “It’s a word!” In the language of Mihai’s people, as with some other languages, usually only the consonants of given words were written, the vowels understood. Mihai’s quivering lips reluctantly spoke, “Ehazgeone…”
‘Ehazgeone’ was a word used when sealing a most solemn oath or promise. In all of Mihai’s life, the woman had only heard it used a few times, and most of those were by her mother. In fact, it was Ma-we’s use of the word in a confrontation with Asotos that she acquired the name 'Yehowah', the children giving their mother the name in reference to that promise. Now she saw it on the crown. ‘Shall worlds pass away before My promise fails.’
Mihai puzzled again. She squinted, seeing another riddle in the letters, ‘EHZGN’. Recalling her studies of ancient runes found in Palace City, Memphis, and other scattered parts of the realm, she deduced that those letters were phonetic pronunciations given to certain rune words. These letters were to be found at the base of the throne in the Great Hall.
Thinking aloud, Mihai attempted to remember the literal translation of those letters, pondering, toying with the ring on her finger, giving no consideration to what she was doing. Suddenly its meaning became clear. ‘This Man is man as shall is he be’.
There was another place Mihai remembered the word. It was in a little silly ditty, part of a very old tune the Ancients often sang to the younger children in her beginning days, before the old songs were forgotten.
“EHZGN
Man by nature,
Man by flesh.
Alive forever,
With manly breath.”
Ma-we had said that the crown and scepter were made during the carefree days. That being the case, Mihai reasoned, the crown and scepter were not designed to represent someone’s ruling authority, it never being an issue until after the Rebellion. So what was the original purpose of the kingly position Mother had created?
The woman stood, curiosity overcoming any trepidation of the moment. She reached for the scepter, closely examining it for other clues. ‘Mother said this was but one song… every woman’s song.’ Studying each verse, Mihai came to realize that they were not in proper order, at least if considered by the custom of ancient day. This was not a maiden’s tale of love for her sweetheart. No… Two statements caught her eye that had no application to a maiden’s love.
First, only the adult women in her realm ever
produced breast milk, it being many years after their coming of age and it usually began after being offered the opportunity to nurse one of Ma-we's infants. Second, this song spoke not just of loving, but the making of nations… children… so many children that the women would make nations of them for the king. None of the women in her world had ever birthed even one child.
Curiosity growing, Mihai studied the gems. They did not pulse randomly but in a sequential order. Where to start then? Mihai decided that Nesya, the most prominent of the names, having the most profound meaning, was the most provable starting point. From there, she read the names in their pulsing sequence.
“Nesya…
‘The gift from God I am, to satisfy my king’s every delight.’
Adaya…
‘I shall haunt my king’s dreams with night’s love calls.’
Sirion…
‘I burn passion-red for my king.’
Tzila…
‘Come to my shadows my king and refresh your spirit with my love.’
Sharon…
‘Let my breasts excite you, oh my king, and find refreshment in their milk.’
Varda…
‘The flowers in my garden welcome the king.’
Uma…
‘I shall make the king into mighty nations.’”
As astonishing as these revelations were to her, it was the following understanding soon to be revealed that most affected Mihai. She began to reason, ‘If the letters on the crown are in fact hiding meanings in the runes of old, then is it possible the scepter does the same?’
Hoping that she had arranged the verses in order, Mihai read aloud the first letter of each word, ‘N – A – S – T – S – V – U’. Using the rule for the common tongue first, the woman deduced that the letters consisted of three words, the vowels indicating a word ending, but with only the use of the consonant before it. Doing this, made it easy to see the three words, ‘Na – Setousee – Vu’, translated into today’s common tongue, ‘The seed of life shall this man give’.
A chill ran down Mihai’s back. She wanted to receive the seed of life, not give it!
Calming herself, the woman searched now for the possible rune connection. “NASTSVU… NASTSVU?” Where had she seen the letters? Where?! As she strained in thought, Mihai felt her ring tingle. She surrendered to its haunting call and closed her eyes to its music. In the distance, Gradian’s Clock chimed the half hour.
That was it! Gradian’s Clock! Inscribed upon each planet was its name in the runes of the Ones Who Came Before. NASTSVU was the rune name for EdenEsonbar, the home planet, commonly called the ‘King’s Planet.’
Beads of sweat formed on Mihai’s forehead, beginning to drip down her face. She worked to concentrate on the music the ring was quietly playing in her head. Soon words were coming into focus before her eyes, revealing the meaning of the runes. ‘I shall embrace the women forever’.
A rush of excitement washed over Mihai as the real and original meaning of the kingship unveiled itself before her. It had never been about power or rulership. Ever since Ma-we’s birthing her first child, she had been hoping and planning to one day give the power of life to her own offspring. Finally, near the end of the Second Age, she was successful, choosing to first deliver that gift on her new creation in the Second Realm.
For all the ages of time before, from the conception of her first son, she had prepared for the day when her children would be parents, making her Firstborn the giver of that seed to her daughters, making him the father of all the first-born children in the universe. He would continue to be the man from whom all the daughters born of womankind would receive the seed of life, thus making him father of many nations.
There were also other things the ring helped Mihai see regarding Ma-we’s future hopes. Now she understood so much the more, the reasons for the festivals and why they were opened and closed with Chrusion and his royal consort, who stood as liege for Lowenah. For all those ages, Ma-we was continually keeping before her children’s eyes the promise she tirelessly worked at to fulfill. The crown was to become Chrusion’s as soon as he had proved himself a man worthy of his sisters’ love. But he had failed…
Mihai slowly placed the scepter down. She understood all too well what she must do if she accepted it and the crown. But she did not want to hold her sisters in the way men did. Not only that, she wanted to be held by men, not forever be parted from such manly love. She wondered if she could she survive an eternity. Even if her flesh and mind relinquished the feminine, could she hold in check her heart’s desires forever?
The war within was raging ever stronger, but Mihai could already see its final outcome. Should worlds fall because of her decision made this day, it would have to be. Long ago her mother had given an oath to a little child who, as a child yet without breasts or sexual passion, had requested the privilege to produce offspring from her own flesh. A will that strong could never be held in check. It would, one day, either see its desires satisfied or go mad, bringing itself and all with it to destruction.
Mihai stood upright, her muscles stiffening with resolve. She forced down the fear of possible future repercussions from her rejection of the crown. Her mother’s heart might break from the loss of having the legal heir refuse the throne. Could Ma-we find a way to sit another? It was too late for the woman-child living in Mihai’s heart to contemplate the matter. What she was to do must be done.
But it was still no easy thing to do, to tell Mother of her decision. Grappling with an ever-growing despair over her decision, she turned to face Ma-we, who still sat motionless on the divan, patiently awaiting her daughter’s reply.
The look on her mother’s face was too much for Mihai’s heart. Her legs surrendered to her body’s pressing weight, forcing the woman to fall forward onto her knees, supporting herself by resting shaking hands on Ma-we’s lap.
“Mother! Oh, Mother!” She wailed. “Should all the worlds fail because of me, remember please that your daughter has loved no one more than she does you! I am come to my end and there is no other hope for me but to do this wretched thing. Please forgive a child so crass and foolish so that she listens not to the wisdom of song, but to the beating of a stupid and selfish heart!”
With pleading eyes, Mihai searched Ma-we’s for some kind of reassurance or disapproval, but Mother’s emerald green oceans secreted all feelings.
“Mother! Ever have I longed to see this day arrive, a day when all my sisters could sing with the joy of receiving power of life…” she lowered her head in dismay. “But I cannot be the one to give that wonderful gift to them…”
A shudder wracked Mihai’s frame as she groaned, “Please! Do not hate this request from a wicked and traitorous child, but if there is any love remaining for your daughter, please set aside this offer and grant, please, an earlier promise made by your lips, if such a thing is any longer possible.”
“Mother, from my young womanhood, I watched you in your birthing pangs as you delivered life to this world, both sons and daughters. Then, one day, you allowed me to hold to my breasts a child of yours to nurse from me. Did my face not beam with unspeakable joy at just her touch upon my heart and did I not ache with happiness at feeling it suckle life from my soul?”
“Oh, my Love! My Cherished Delight! The burning within me has not subsided from the earliest days of my childhood, when I still remained in my virginity. Indeed! It has only become greater, a raging inferno consuming my entire being. Should all things come to pass for me, to go away into nothingness, I would be satisfied if I had borne but one son to feed at my breasts.”
Ma-we said not a word, staying silent, hiding any emotion. ‘It is not the hour to speak, for I shall not swage my daughter in choices made.’
Mihai pleaded, “If by your hand, the flesh of one kind can be made in to that of another, so that a child of my flesh can become that of my brothers, is it such an impossible thing for you to change your daughte
r…daughters a little, so that they might become like you and know what it means to be filled with child?!”
“And what of your promise? Is it really such a great thing I have done, so that I, alone, should be given chance to sit a throne and that a man of valor should not?”
Mihai shook her head. “No! Your child will not surrender what is hers from birth! A woman I came from your belly and a woman I shall remain until the world’s ending! It cannot be changed!” She looked again into Ma-we’s eyes, searching for redemption. She found none.
With wails of remorse, Mihai fell upon Ma-we, burying her face in her mother’s lap. “Oh, forgive an errant child! Please! Let her be damned now, rather than suffer the shame of hurting you!”
At that, Mihai’s waking world began to spin into darkness, her flesh unable to carry the weight of the moment any longer, soon to be followed by a deep, painless sleep.
Her mother’s tears of joy she did not see, nor hear the gentle words that passed Ma-we’s lips. “You have not disappointed the Maker of Worlds, for your wisdom has saved us all this day. Rest for now, my Cherished One. Tomorrow shall come, and with it new joys…” She frowned. “…but also despair.”