Colby stood. “I’ll come, too.”
“And me,” Paul added.
What if they found Bree there—dead? All because Ashlee hadn’t been able to finish the job. Hadn’t been able to rescue her sister from kidnappers. She’d known something was wrong. She’d known her sister was in trouble. Why hadn’t she done more? “I want to go, too.”
“That’s not a good idea,” Lawson intoned. “It might be dangerous. You should stay here at the ranch.”
“So should you,” Josh insisted.
Lawson stood. “Not a chance.” Yet the beads of sweat on his brow made it painfully clear he was hurting. Still, his jaw was set in determination.
“Lawson, you just got out of the hospital yesterday. You need to take it easy and recover,” his mother said.
“I’m going and that’s final.”
Well, he wasn’t going alone. “I’m going, too,” she persisted. He turned and started to protest but she cut him off. “I’m going. This is my sister and this is my family’s property. I won’t be left behind.”
Finally, Cecile sighed and collected her papers. “Fine, but you two are both remaining in the car until the first team goes inside,” she said.
Ashlee was okay with that. She wasn’t interested in stepping into any more danger than necessary, and she certainly didn’t want Lawson taking risks or pushing himself too hard and getting injured again.
As Cecile and the men gathered their stuff and headed outside, Ashlee felt some excitement that they were finally making progress. Yet that sense of dread had returned, causing her thoughts to turn to her sister and what had happened to her.
She only hoped when they found Bree, they would find her alive.
* * *
Lawson checked his gun as they approached the turnoff, driving through the decaying entrance where a lopsided sign dubbed the place Taylor Ranch. The barn was at the back of the land on a dirt road.
Josh was driving. Although he wasn’t happy that Lawson was tagging along, he hadn’t forbidden it. He must have known better, must have seen in Lawson’s face that he was going regardless. If something had happened to Bree that had resulted in Ashlee’s being mixed up in something nefarious, Lawson wanted to be there to see it for himself. Because he’d vowed to protect Ashlee from any danger—and that included the danger she might cause herself by trying to help Bree. Above all else, Ashlee loved her sister. She would do anything for her.
There were no cars around as they passed by the old house, which was falling into disrepair. Josh stopped at the barn and they all hopped out. Their weapons were at the ready, even though the fact that no cars surrounding the barn indicated no one was there. If anything, this case had taught them that they couldn’t be too careful. Tire marks in the dirt indicated that the path had been disturbed recently. As far as he knew, this property had been abandoned since Ashlee’s parents had moved away. Just another abandoned property like many others around the county. There was no reason for anyone to be out here—no good reason, anyway.
Three cars pulled in behind them, carrying Cecile, Paul, Colby and a handful of other deputies. Josh, Cecile and two deputies approached the barn. Cecile coordinated the breach of the barn while Lawson sat and waited until receiving the all clear.
No gunfire was exchanged. If the drug ring or Bree had been there, they were long gone now.
Cecile reappeared and gave them the signal. At that, Lawson and Ashlee finally got out and went inside. Josh was barking orders to the forensic teams to start taking samples.
Bullet holes riddled the far wall, sending beams of sunlight through them and onto the old barn’s dirt floor. Fresh footprints were also visible in the dirt. Lawson made sure he trekked around them.
He spotted what looked like brown spots on the ground and carefully knelt to examine them. “Blood,” he said, and Josh and Cecile hurried over.
Josh pushed the dirt and found more spots. “Looks like they tried to cover it up.” He called over the forensics team to begin gathering evidence while they continued their search.
Ashlee stood by the outside door, reluctant to enter. Her face paled and Lawson thought she must be remembering something. Did being here spark some memory of what she had experienced? It seemed certain she’d been here. Somewhere deep in her subconscious, she knew what had gone down here. She only needed to recall it.
He walked over to her. “You okay? Remembering anything?”
She looked around, anguish on her face as she shook her head. “Nothing is coming back. Something happened here, though, didn’t it?”
“It looks that way.”
“This is where it happened, whatever it is. This is where it took place.”
“More than likely. No one reported hearing any gunfire from here, but this place is so far out and so isolated that it’s unlikely anyone would have heard it.”
“What does that mean for my sister?” She locked eyes with him.
He didn’t know what to say. The only positive he could see was that they hadn’t found a body yet—but there was plenty of land just on this property where someone could dump a body and be pretty sure that it wouldn’t be found for a long while.
“Should we start a search?” Lawson asked Josh as his brothers and Cecile gathered while the other deputies continued collecting evidence.
Josh nodded. “I’ll coordinate it. We need to search all this property.” He glanced over at Ashlee, then lowered his voice. “If things went this wrong, we may be looking only to recover a body.” Despite his attempt to be discreet, Lawson noticed Ashlee’s face pale at his brother’s statement.
“I think we should check more into this boyfriend of Bree’s,” Lawson suggested. “Maybe something in his background can give us some more information. Maybe a location this drug ring might be operating out of.”
Colby nodded. “I think Miles has a friend with the DEA. I’ll have him call and see if they can read us in on their investigation.”
Lawson nodded and thanked him. Sometimes having a brother who was a federal agent was a handy thing.
SEVEN
While the search of the Taylors’ abandoned ranch was underway, Lawson drove Ashlee back to Silver Star. She didn’t need to be there for the search, mostly because of what they might find, but also because he and Josh and Cecile had deemed it too dangerous for her. There were too many volunteers who had shown up to help search. Members of the drug ring could be hidden among them, watching and waiting for another opportunity to try to abduct her. Returning to the ranch seemed like the right choice.
Ashlee hadn’t been happy about leaving, but she hadn’t put up too much of a fight over it. She understood the gravity of the situation.
When they arrived at Silver Star, they were greeted by the aroma of fresh pastries. Lawson walked into the kitchen to find one batch cooling on the table while his mother kneaded dough for another.
“Who are all the pastries for?” he asked.
“My ladies’ class is sponsoring a bake sale. We’re trying to raise funds to sponsor kids to go to summer camp.”
“That’s nice,” Ashlee commented. “Can I help?”
His mother nodded. “Absolutely. You can help me knead this dough.”
Ashlee grabbed an apron and jumped right in.
Lawson was glad to see her hands occupied and hoped it would help to take her mind off Bree and the search that was taking place at her old home. He was sure that the need for distraction was the reason for her offer and he couldn’t blame her for wanting to keep busy. Too much idle time meant too much opportunity to dwell.
“I want to check on the horses again to make sure they’re still okay after yesterday,” he announced. “Are you two going to be okay?”
“We’ll be fine,” his mother said. “But you should be careful. You did just get out of the hospital.”
“I’ll take it e
asy. I promise.” He paused in the doorway a moment before walking out, enjoying the way Ashlee seemed to be fitting into his life this time around. Funny, he’d never thought that before. Was she finally finding a place here?
Something was different with her. Maybe losing her memory had helped her to get past that obstacle of always overthinking. Maybe she was finally learning to relax and enjoy the simpler things in life—his simpler way of life.
Don’t get ahead of yourself, Lawson.
Maybe he was seeing just what he wanted to see. This wasn’t a vacation. She was traumatized to the point where she had no memory. Whatever had happened to her, she would surely revert back to the way she’d always been once her memories returned.
Was he actually hoping that they never did? He wouldn’t want that for her. He wanted her to remember how much they’d once meant to each other. He wanted her to remember the love they’d once shared. Without her memories, he wouldn’t be getting Ashlee—the real Ashlee—back.
It was like a stab at his heart that she couldn’t remember him. But it hurt more to know that when her memories returned, so would the drive to get away from the ranch—and from him—and return to her fast-paced setup in the city.
What was so important about that life, anyway? Always on the go, the constant pressure. Who wanted that?
He sighed and faced the facts. Ashlee wanted that life. She’d chosen it.
Maybe this vacation from herself was her way of admitting she’d tried it and it hadn’t been a good fit for her? Wishful thinking again. There he went.
He marched toward the barn, intent on keeping his mind from running in circles. The stables needed to be cleaned and the horses fed, but those chores would have to wait until one of his brothers returned home. Having them around to help was nice, but he normally never minded taking on the extra work alone. This was what he wanted, what he hoped to do full-time once this nightmare with Ashlee was over and his time with the sheriff’s department ended. He might still take a shift here and there to help out his brother, but his first love was this ranch and he was dedicated to keeping it going.
He stared at the horses milling about in the pen and the beauty of the land behind them. He took a moment to soak it all in. It reminded him how small his life really was. But it also reminded him that he wanted to be a better person, a person who made a difference in this life.
He’d tried so many things, only to find that all he wanted in life was to be here, tending to this land and to these animals. Admitting that felt like failure. A voice deep inside him kept repeating it was failure. He’d heard it for so long and now he realized the voice belonged to Ashlee. Ashlee telling him he lacked ambition and that he should want more out of life. Her words still followed him around after all these years. He’d always had a clear idea of what he’d wanted out of life until she’d uttered those words—and he’d been doubting himself ever since. Lawson was living his dream but it hadn’t seemed like enough.
He’d sought counsel from his father, who’d assured him that ranching was a fine way of life, but still he was struggling to convince himself that that was true. Why did he let the opinions of others sway him so? He tried not to—but this hadn’t been just any person. This had been the woman he’d loved and wanted to spend his life with. He’d tried to change for her, but it had never been good enough. It had never been a good fit. No matter what anyone else believed, ranching was his calling. This was the only thing in his life that felt right.
Although, lately, being here with Ashlee had felt right, too, and that was new. While he’d always enjoyed being with her, having her on the ranch had always felt forced before. He’d told himself she would grow to love it, but after she’d run out on him, he’d finally seen the truth. She’d known her way of life wasn’t for him. Part of him was glad he hadn’t followed her—giving up the ranch to be with her—despite how his heart broke at the end of their relationship. He didn’t want a love that felt forced.
God, help me to find my way.
He should be more ambitious and want more out of life. His family wasn’t all about the ranch life. His brothers all had careers that were important, that were making a difference in society. Even his sister was in social work, helping people. Who did he help? What value did he offer to the world? He didn’t know. It was an issue he’d been struggling with for a long time.
Being a rancher was what Lawson loved—the ranch was where he belonged. But was he imagining it, hoping that his calling was what he loved, or was it true? He’d made so many mistakes and he wasn’t sure he was ready to make any more.
What would happen when Ashlee regained her memories? Would she want him back in her life after this time they’d spent together? Would she remember her disdain for this ranch and this town and go back to Dallas like nothing had happened between them? Or was this a new beginning for them? A new future, a second chance to get things right in their relationship?
He hoped so. Either way, he knew one thing for certain. He wasn’t letting her walk away from him again. No matter what it meant giving up.
Reassured that the horses were fine, he walked back to the house to check on Ashlee and was greeted at the front door by the aroma of freshly baked goods that made his mouth water. He slipped off his hat and boots and hurried to the kitchen knowing that even when she was baking for others, there were always misshapen pastries his mother would set aside for their family.
He walked into the kitchen and stopped dead in his tracks as he spotted Ashlee at the table sitting across from his mother. But it was what she was eating that sent shock waves through him. She was about to pop a boiled peanut into her mouth and his heart dropped, remembering her allergy. “Ashlee!” He panicked and rushed to her, knocking the offending nut from her hand.
She jumped back. “What are you doing?”
“You’re allergic to peanuts.”
She stared at the shells of boiled peanuts spread out on the table and her eyes widened as panic crept into them. “I—I didn’t know.”
His mother stood, her face full of concern. “I’m so sorry. I forgot about that. I should have remembered.”
They all should have. They’d been acting like Ashlee was fine, but she wasn’t. She was walking around without a filter to know what was right and wrong for her.
He grabbed her arm and rushed her outside. “I’ve seen you have an allergic reaction before. This is serious. We need to get you to the hospital.”
He ushered her to his truck and helped her into the passenger’s side, noting how she was already looking pale. He’d seen her swell up once before after ingesting a peanut and it hadn’t been a pretty sight. It had nearly killed her that day. Since then, she’d always been incredibly careful about making sure she stayed away from peanut products. Did amnesia take away memories of what she was and wasn’t allergic to? Obviously so.
“Are you okay?” he asked as he drove.
She nodded. “I’m okay, but please hurry.”
She didn’t appear to be swelling up and he thought it would have already happened by now. The best he could remember, she’d started swelling immediately and then it had affected her breathing as she’d experienced anaphylaxis. He floored it, not taking any chances with her health. But he was also keenly watching his surroundings through the mirrors on the truck. He didn’t want to be ambushed on the way to the hospital. Ashlee couldn’t afford that. Any interruptions could cost her her life.
He roared into town and headed for the medical center. He pulled up in front of the doors and jammed the truck into Park. He wasn’t going to waste time hunting down a parking space. He would do that once he knew she was receiving the medical attention she needed.
He rushed around and opened the door for her, noting her face was pale, but she still wasn’t showing any signs of swelling. Odd. He didn’t wait for her to walk. He swooped her up into his arms and hurried her inside, calling out to
the nurse behind the desk that she was having an allergic reaction and needed to be seen. Fortunately, no one else was sitting in the waiting room so the nurse ushered them right to the back.
“Hey, you’re going to have to move your truck,” a security officer called to him from the front doors.
Lawson checked the instinctive reaction to toss him the keys and tell the guard to do it himself. There was good reason for the rules—hospitals needed to keep their entrances open. The man was only doing his job and Lawson knew a little about how that felt to be hollered and fussed at for upholding regulations from his stint as a deputy sheriff. He even considered playing that card.
“I called the doctor. He’ll be right in,” the nurse assured him. “She’ll be fine until you return.”
Finally, he relented as Ashlee also assured him. “I’ll be right back,” he said before turning on his heel and marching toward the doors. He crawled back into his truck and started the engine, but something was bothering him as he found a parking space.
He was certain she’d swallowed at least a few of those peanuts. Her previous reaction had induced symptoms right away. This time, it had already been at least ten minutes since they’d left the ranch and she wasn’t showing a single one of the symptoms he remembered.
He didn’t even want to think about what her lack of symptoms indicated.
* * *
The doctor shone a light into her eyes, then poked and prodded her. “You don’t seem to be having any reaction to the peanuts. How long have you had this allergy and is it severe?”
She shook her head. “I—I don’t know. I’m not sure.”
He gave her a strange look, then glanced at the chart and nodded understandingly. “It looks like you’ve recently suffered some loss of memory?”
“Yes, I didn’t even know about the allergy until Lawson mentioned it.” And she was very sure that she wasn’t showing any symptoms, either. True, she didn’t know what an allergic reaction felt like—but from Lawson’s reaction, it should have been severe, maybe even life-threatening. But she felt fine. And that didn’t make any sense. Was it possible he’d been wrong about the allergy? He’d seemed so certain and even his mother, once reminded, recalled that she’d had an allergy to peanuts.
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