DOUG
(yells)
You’re just friends, remember!
HAHAHAHA!
Doug drives away. Jon makes an angry sound. Matt walks up the front path. He looks at Jon, and then at Sandra. He waves to them.
EXT. SANDRA’S FRONT YARD – EVENING/SUNSET
Matt walks over to Sandra and Molly.
MATT
(to Sandra)
Hey Sandra!
SANDRA
Hey Matt!
MATT
How’ve you been?
SANDRA
Good. Just about to make dinner
for my special girl!
MATT
Alright, have a good evening!
Sandra and Molly enter their house. Jon looks at Matt.
JON
Are you trying to rub it in?
MATT
If you really like her, you’d
at least talk to her.
JON
I feel like I am losing her for
the second time.
MATT
You never really tried in the
first place. So talk to her sometimes.
Anyways, I brought some video
games, lets play the night away!
INT. FAMILY ROOM – NIGHT
A montage of the two men play RPG video games for 3 hours. Clock arms spins. They laugh. They munch on some food.
JON’S POV – The video game
Jon plays the game, and then everything appears as if he was in the game. He is then the main character in the game and he fights dragons.
MATT (V.O.)
(quietly)
Jon.
JON
Not now Matt, Sandra needs to
be rescued from the evil
creatures!
MATT (V.O.)
Jon.
JON
What?
INT. FAMILY ROOM
Matt is next to Jon and he is waving his hand in front of him.
MATT
Snap out of it man.
JON
Huh?
MATT
You’ve been game over for almost
five minutes. Is your work getting
to you?
JON
No. I’m good. I’m good.
Matt then sits on the couch and relaxes.
JON
Hey, do you think Sandra really
likes Doug?
MATT
Man, you need to stop thinking
about her.
JON
How can I when she lives next door?
MATT
Why did you decide to buy this
house next to her? You’re obsessed.
You need a woman.
JON
Yeah, I want Sandra.
MATT
No. You need a woman not Sandra.
JON
What? Why?
MATT
It’s been a freakin long time
that you’ve known Sandra, and
you’re too wimpy to do anything.
So, obviously nothing is going
to happen. You need a girlfriend.
JON
Yeah, stuff like that never just
happens instantly.
MATT
Sure it does. I know a hot woman
who’s single. You should meet her.
I think it will help you stop
thinking about Sandra.
JON
How will I meet her. On a date?
MATT
Nah, we’ll have a party in a few
days. I’ll invite her.
JON
Alright. But, why don’t you date
her? You’re single too.
MATT
You mean Sandra?
JON
(yells)
No.
MATT
Calm down, I’m just kidding.
INT. JON’S FAMILY ROOM - MORNING
Jon is passed out on the couch and Matt plays with Jon’s chin pushing it down to make his mouth open when he voices over for him.
MATT
Hey Jon, what’s up?
(higher)
I’m going blind Matt, I can’t see.
(normal)
Oh my! That’s horrible. What are
you gonna do?
(higher)
I’m going to be depressed because
I won’t be able to see Sandra
anymore.
(normal)
Wouldn’t you be depressed because
you lost your vision in general?
(higher)
Yes that too. I’m a stupid head.
(normal)
Yes you are.
Jon wakes up.
JON
I’m a what?
MATT
Gonna get ready soon because we’re
going to the eye doctor.
JON
What time is it?
MATT
Ten fifteen. We got time.
EXT. JON’S FRONT HOUSE – MORNING
Molly has a jump rope and skips from Sandra’s to Jon’s. She skips in one spot and faces his door.
MOLLY
I like chicken, I like liver,
meow mix, meow mix, please
deliver.
Molly sees a cat. She stops skipping and stares at the cat. The cat walks over to Molly.
MOLLY
Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t really have
any meow mix.
The cat looks up and turns around.
MOLLY
Wait!
Molly puts her hand on the cat’s tail. It screams and claws at Molly. Jon exits his house. He DROPS his coffee mug and runs to help Molly. He grabs the cat and throws it across the street over a neighbour’s house. A CRASH is heard. Molly is in tears.
JON
Are you okay?
Molly shakes her head ‘no.’ Jon carries Molly over to Sandra’s house. They enter through the front door.
INT. SANDRA’S KITCHEN – MORNING
Jon carries Molly into the kitchen. Sandra faces the wall and washes dishes.
SANDRA
Didn’t want to play outside
anymore, Molly?
JON
No, a cat scratched her.
Sandra turns around.
SANDRA
Oh baby! Are you okay?
MOLLY
(whines)
It hurts.
SANDRA
Jon, can you go to the laundry
room and get some Band-Aids and
disinfectant?
JON
Sure.
Molly sits on the ledge of the counter and Sandra grabs a dish cloth from the drawer, dampens it with water and dabs it on Molly’s knee.
INT. SANDRA’S HALLWAY – MORNING
Jon walks through the hallway and looks at the photo on the wall: A wedding photo, a baby picture of Molly, a family portrait, and one of Jon and Sandra… the same photo that’s on Jon’s fridge. He smiles.
INT. SANDRA’S KITCHEN – MORNING
SANDRA
So what made the mean ol’ cat want
to hurt you?
MOLLY
I dunno.
SANDRA
Are you sure you don’t know?
Molly shrugs. Jon enters the kitchen and hands the disinfectant and cotton swabs to Sandra and stands near Molly. He places the Band-Aids on the counter.
SANDRA
Thanks.
Sandra dabs the disinfectant on Molly’s cuts. Molly grabs onto Jon and whines. Molly kicks the bottl
e of disinfectant out of Sandra’s hand. The bottle falls and both Sandra and Jon reach to grab it. They bump into each other and Jon loses his balance and falls on Sandra.
SANDRA
Woah!
They land on the ground. The bottle empties near them. Jon looks at Sandra’s face and smiles.
JON
You ever wondered what would’ve
happened if we were--
Doug enters the kitchen and sees Jon on top of Sandra. Molly’s legs dangle above them. Doug has a look of shock.
SANDRA
Hey Doug.
JON
We were just trying to help
Molly’s scratches.
Jon moves and they both stand up. Sandra gets the Band-Aids and puts some on Molly.
JON
(to Doug)
We just tripped.
Doug moves closer to Sandra and Jon moves away. Doug kisses Sandra on the cheek and pats Molly’s head.
DOUG
Everything alright with MY special
little girl?
MOLLY
A cat scratched me, and it hurt!
DOUG
Oh, in that case—
Doug pulls out a lollipop from his bag and hands it to Molly.
MOLLY
Yay! Thanks Doug!
Doug gives Jon a snarky look.
JON
Alright, I better get going.
DOUG
That’s right.
SANDRA
Thanks Jon. Bye.
MOLLY
(shouts)
Jon. Can I help you on the video
later?
JON
Tomorrow, Molly.
MOLLY
Okay!
Jon leaves the kitchen.
EXT. JON’S FRONT HOUSE – MORNING
Jon walks over to his house. Matt comes out through the front door. He looks down at the porch.
MATT
(disgusted)
Ugh, there’s coffee everywhere.
They walk towards Matt’s car.
MATT
So what happened?
JON
I dropped the mug.
MATT
No, not that. You came from
Sandra’s.
JON
I think Sandra still likes me.
MATT
Dude, you dated in college, that
was a long time ago. Give up.
JON
You’re supposed to motivate me,
Matt. You’re my best friend.
They enter Matt’s car and the doors slam shut.
INT. OPTOMETRIST’S OFFICE – DAY
Jon and Matt are in the waiting room. A RECEPTIONIST sits at her desk. A sign on the desk shows “MISS DIMWIT.” A ROBBER 1 runs into the waiting room. He is holding a can opener.
ROBBER 1
Okay everybody! This is a stick
up! Put your hands up!
The receptionist screams.
ROBBER 1
(yells)
Gimmie your money.
RECEPTIONIST
I only have files.
ROBBER 1
What kind of a bank is this?
RECEPTIONIST
(stutters)
I… It… It’s… not…
ROBBER 2 enters the waiting room holding a banana.
ROBBER 2
(yells)
Okay, everybody freeze.
(squints and looks around room)
ROBBER 2
Wow, You’re all fast.
ROBBER 1
Hey, I was here first.
ROBBER 2
What? Well I’m here now.
ROBBER 1
Find your own bank you fool.
ROBBER 2
Well apparently you didn’t
accomplish anything.
The two robbers fight each other. The receptionist looks over the edge of her desk.
RECEPTIONIST
This is an optometrist’s office.
ROBBER 1
Really?
ROBBER 2
I hadn’t noticed. Did you?
ROBBER 1
I can’t actually see too well.
RECEPTIONIST
Well how about I book you both
an appointment?
ROBBER 1 & 2
Okay.
The two look at each other. A CLIENT 2 exits the doctor’s office with two eye patches on. DR. JIMMY exits the office and he looks exactly like Dr. Oetker.
CLIENT 2
Thanks doctor.
DR. JIMMY
Keep those on for two weeks. Have
DR. JIMMY
a safe drive home now!
Client 2 exits the waiting room. The two robbers are at the desk booking an appointment. Dr. Jimmy grabs a folder off the desk.
DR. JIMMY
Jon Castillo?
JON
Dr. Oetker?
DR. JIMMY
Oh no, I’m Dr. Jimmy. Oetker is
my sister’s best friend.
Jon gets up and follows Dr. Jimmy into the office.
INT. DR. JIMMY’S OFFICE – DAY
Dr. Jimmy has a light flashing in Jon’s eye. He turns it off and lifts up one of Jon’s eyelid.
DR. JIMMY
How long have you been having these
problems?
JON
It’s been getting worse slowly over
the past six or seven months.
DR. JIMMY
Well mister Castillo, looks like
you are hyperopic.
Jon looks confused.
DR. JIMMY
You are far sighted and you need
glasses.
JON
(shocked)
I need glasses?
Dr. Jimmy writes up a prescription.
JON
Doctor, I’ve also had problems
sleeping at night. Could that
also be part of the problem?
DR. JIMMY
Your probably worried about the
headaches you’ve been getting.
JON
Am I going blind?
DR. JIMMY
No. You need glasses.
JON
How long do I have?
DR. JIMMY
A week. These lenses are thicker so
I need to order these in.
JON
(loudly)
Oh my god. I’ll look like a freak!
DR. JIMMY
(pauses)
Young man, this is not such a big
deal.
JON
(traumatized)
I’ll look like a nerd.
DR. JIMMY
All right then. Come back in a
week.
INT. MATT’S CAR – DAY
Matt drives the car. Jon grips onto the prescription. Matt looks at the papers.
MATT
It’ll be okay.
Jon looks depressed.
MATT
I won’t be able to stay over
tonight. I need to check up on my
monkey.
Jon nods. Matt stops the car at Jon’s house.
MATT
I’ll see you later.
Jon nods and exits the car.
EXT. JON’S HOUSE – DAY
Depressing violin music plays. Jon opens up his mailbox and takes out a notice. He opens it. CLOSE UP on paper. It states that the mortgage hasn’t been paid in full for the last year. CLOSE UP on the word ‘EVICTION,’ and CLOSE UP on the words ‘3 MONTHS.’ Jon slowly walks up the walkway. He passes by an OLD WOMAN in black mourning.
&nbs
p; OLD WOMAN
(cries)
WAAAHHHHHH! OOHHH WHY?
AAAHHHHHHHHHH!
Jon passes by a CHILD. He is on the grass with a tricycle on its side. The child is in tears and cries loudly. Jon passes a HOBO.
HOBO
(panhandling)
Money for the poor? Money for the
poor?
Jon passes by a teen couple: TEEN BOY and TEEN GIRL.
TEEN GIRL
(yells)
I don’t love you anymore Billy!
TEEN BOY
But why, Veronica? Why?
TEEN GIRL
I found someone else!
Teen girl goes off screen.
TEEN BOY
(screams)
NOOOOOO---
Jon walks up his porch steps, and enters his house.
INT. JON’S FAMILY ROOM – DAY
Jon sits in a chair and looks straight ahead. He has a blank look in his face. The clock hands spin faster.
INT. JON’S FAMILY ROOM – EVENING – JON’S POV
Jon’s hand is in front of his face, and it’s a blur.
INT. JON’S BEDROOM – EVENING
Jon lies on his bed and sighs. The phone rings. Jon answers the phone.
JON
Hello?
DOUG (ON PHONE)
Hey, Jon. It’s Doug.
JON
Hey. What’s up?
DOUG (V.O.)
I have some news for you. It’s
not good.
JON
Fine, my day can’t get any worse
as it has already.
Perception or The Oatmeal Cookie & Michelle's Mind Page 5