She shivered but didn’t say anything. What was there to say? He should shut the hell up. But the dam had burst, and the words poured from him as though after millennia they craved an escape, no matter how destructive the aftermath would be.
“I should have struck him down. But I hesitated. Because he offered me something I craved. Freedom from the shackles of our goddess. The chance to find a home far from her shadow.”
Self-disgust burned through him, corroding what was left of his pride. He hadn’t appreciated how much he’d loved Ama-gi until it was gone. And while its destruction wasn’t his fault, the mystical city had haunted him for millennia.
His only true home.
Vengeance should have been his, here, tonight, in this ancient temple of Inanna’s. Just before Isabella had struck, he’d found a weakness in Dagan’s shields. He should have been the one to end this. By doing so, it might have finally eased the guilt that had been a part of him for years without number.
He’d tear out his tongue before he gave her even the slightest glimpse of his conflicted soul. She could never come close to guessing how the roar of thwarted retribution reverberated through his psyche. It was his burden to bear.
“You guessed he’d betrayed you to your goddess. There was no way of knowing what she was going to do with that knowledge. She was the one who prevented archangels from saving their children. It wouldn’t have made any difference to the outcome if you’d obeyed her call instantly or not.”
Once again, Isabella saw what he couldn’t. Dagan was no more. If he wanted a future with her, it was time to let go of the past.
He cast a glance around the atrium. It was wrecked, but salvageable. But only if that was what Isabella wanted.
“I can destroy the temple. Just say the word.”
“Inanna’s temple?” There was a wistful note in her voice.
“It hasn’t been hers for more than a thousand years.”
“With Nijah gone, the mantle passes to Zane. The decision should be his. But I don’t want it destroyed. It’s still a place for demon bloods to find others like us and learn of our heritage. The true histories of our races, not the propaganda.”
Maybe. But an archangel had been involved in the destruction of a powerful demon and part of the temple. Tonight’s events would live on in the archives of the Watchers and he doubted his part in it would help heal the rifts between their races.
“Want to get out of here?” He’d promised to show her the wonders of Andromeda. Right now, all he wanted was to get as far away from Earth as possible. He didn’t even care where.
As long as Isabella was there.
“Yes.” She gave a wan smile. “I need to tackle the mess at home.”
Not what he’d had in mind. “That can wait. You need to unwind.”
“What I need is to get my life back on track. And I’m not wound up.”
Fine. He was the one who was wound up and attempting, with little success, to harness the restless energy that pumped through his blood like a marauding virus. “Then I’ll help.”
“Okay.” She didn’t sound especially happy by his offer. What did she want from him? The question lodged in his throat. Because once spoken, it could never be taken back, and the grim truth was—he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear her answer.
He was well aware she could make her own way to her house, but he held her hand anyway, and a moment later they arrived in her drawing room. Over the centuries he’d been responsible for the destruction of a great many things. It was the first time he’d had to face the reality of the aftermath.
Even if he hadn’t been the one to smash her beloved possessions, he was still responsible. Indirectly. And Isabella knew it.
She let out a long breath and their fingers untangled. “I don’t even know where to start.”
Her things hadn’t simply been broken. They’d been tainted by demon vengeance, which meant any restoration would involve the painstaking extraction of demonic essence. Something no one on Earth had the ability to do.
“I know people who might be able to fix this.” They weren’t exactly people. They were immortals who had evolved on the far side of the Andromeda Galaxy and the price they’d demand for such a favor would be brutal.
But she didn’t need to know that.
“I don’t know.” She toed a shard of wood from the shattered grandmother clock. “It could never be the same. All I’d see is Nijah and Zane trying to kill me.” She offered him a mocking smile, but it wasn’t hard to hear the pain beneath her words. “It’ll be best just to start over again.”
He folded his arms and tried to ignore the hollow burning sensation that twisted through his chest. She’d spent decades collecting her antiques and creating her home, but to forget all the shit she’d gone through during the last few days, she saw no alternative but to throw it all away.
It didn’t take much of a leap to figure out she was including him. Did she see only death and destruction every time she looked at him? Since they’d met, her life had been in constant danger. Not just from Dagan. But from those she’d known for years. Truth was, he couldn’t even blame her for wanting to get as far away from him as she could.
Yet when he looked at her, he saw a woman who had captured his mind and stolen his willing heart. And she didn’t even know it.
Tell her.
But the words were locked so deep inside he didn’t even know how to rip them into the light, let alone tell her what she meant to him. It was too big. Too terrifying. To split open the raw remnants of his soul and risk her walking away forever.
For millennia, he’d been alone. His friendships were solid, and pleasure was a transient pastime. It was only now, as he faced the reality of not having her in his life, that he understood how empty his existence had been.
He’d do anything to keep her. Even if it meant concealing the truth from her.
“Sounds like a plan.” It almost fucking killed him to sound as though he was unaware of how much she was hurting inside. But if she wanted to keep him at arm’s length, he’d take it. It was preferable to the alternative. “Do you want me to get rid of this stuff for you?”
She pushed her hands into the pockets of her jeans. “It’s okay. I’ll do it the mortal way. I feel like I need to, you know? It’ll seem more final that way.”
Final wasn’t a word he wanted to hear from her. He had to get out of here, before he said something that shattered this strange, unnatural accord between them.
“Sure. There’s something I need to sort out. I’ll swing by later with some food. Sound good?”
“Uh, yes.” Not that she sounded thrilled by his suggestion.
Was this how it would always be for them, now?
Intimate strangers.
The prospect twisted his gut. But there was nothing he could do about it. Not when he planned on maintaining the status quo even if it damn well nearly destroyed him.
Bella
Nate gave her a careless grin, and it was so achingly familiar yet strangely detached that her heart squeezed in sorrow. He was willing to continue the farce that nothing had changed between them when everything manifestly had.
He disappeared, and she exhaled a long breath. Despite everything that Dagan had done, it was clear Nate had still been hurt by the betrayal.
She’d seen it in his eyes when he’d told her how he had ignored the call of their goddess. And when she’d plunged the Guardians’ deadly atmosphere into Dagan’s neck.
She sat on her sofa and stared at the ripped fabric and stuffing that had been strewn across the floor. Once, her beautifully restored furniture had given her such joy. The perfect buffer between her gnawing need deep inside to love and be loved, and her fear that anyone she grew close to would inevitably die.
Her ruined possessions meant nothing to her now, except for an ethereal sadness that yet another era of her long life had faded. She’d told Nate she could replace her property.
But she couldn’t replace her heart.
She slumped, clasping her fingers together between her knees, her forearms resting on her thighs. A dread suspicion prowled the darkest recesses of her mind.
Had she made a terrible mistake by destroying Dagan?
She could live with the knowledge she’d broken a demon. It had been the only way to save Nate and she’d never regret that. But what if the price she paid for turning on one of her own kind was to irrevocably lose the fragile bond between her and Nate?
I would have still done it. At least this way Nate was alive, even if he could never look at her in the same way again.
She sucked in a ragged breath. Whether or not she had a future with Nate, things would never be the same. She had the chance to find out more about the demon side of her heritage, and she had every intention of taking Kala up on her offer.
She had questions for Eblis, too. He owed her some answers, at least.
But first, she needed to get her life here on Earth back on track.
A shiver danced over her skin and the hair rose on the back of her neck. She leaped to her feet, unaware of what the danger was, only knowing it was here, in her home.
The breath stalled in her lungs and paralysis gripped her heart. Standing by the door was a tall blonde creature, her long hair twisted into an intricate tapestry of plaits, her vivid green eyes like poisoned emeralds drilling into Bella’s brain. Her aged leather tunic and leggings clung to her figure, a dagger sheathed at her hip, and a sword strapped to her back.
The beautiful immortal spread her wings, and ripples of venom sucked the oxygen from the room.
“Isabella.” Her voice was strangely devoid of emotion but that didn’t stop the icy dread from slithering through Bella’s blood. Or prevent her mind from making the obvious connection.
Her actions had destroyed Dagan. And this demon was here for vengeance.
Belatedly, she attempted to read the demon’s aura, for all the good that would do, but her powers were bound, rendering her useless. Gods, she could barely even breathe. The atmosphere was oppressive, bearing down on her as though trying to force her to her knees.
She braced her muscles, fighting against the relentless imperative. The demon would have to strike her down before she’d give into the subliminal demand.
“Dagan said you were strong.” A hint of scorn iced the words. “He spared you because of his love for Nate.” Her eyes flashed with malevolence. “I harbor no such sentiments for a misbegotten hybrid. I don’t care if you’re protected by an archaic covenant. You’ll pay for what you did.”
Archaic covenant? What was she talking about?
“Dagan was killing Nate. I couldn’t let that happen.”
“No, he wasn’t. He would never harm Nate.”
She managed to take a staggering step forward. “How do you know? You weren’t there. And if you had been, you would’ve destroyed Nate.”
A tortured expression flashed over her face, as though Bella’s words had hit a nerve. “Don’t presume to tell me what I would or wouldn’t do.”
Burning pain slashed into her side and she doubled over, gasping, her hand pressed against her sweater. Warmth seeped over her fingers, and blood dripped onto the carpet. She forced herself upright and glared at the demon. “What is this? Death by a thousand cuts?”
“No. That would be too merciful a death, compared to the one you inflicted upon Dagan. I have a far better idea.”
The woman held out her gloved hand, and a phial containing a swirling, dark material, materialized on the palm of her hand.
The Guardians’ atmosphere. Had Dagan taken the last sample from the castle?
“Where did you get that?” Her voice was hoarse with dread. Had Octavia escaped in time?
For the first time, the demon smiled. It was beautiful and terrifying and radiated lethal despair. “From my beloved friend, Nate.”
Bella panted, but the air was too thin, and the dizziness filling her mind made it hard to think straight. She’d simply assumed the only demon friend Nate ever had was Dagan.
She’d been wrong. And was about to pay with her life.
It wouldn’t help. But she had to know. “Who are you?”
The demon removed the lid of the phial, and tendrils of the atmosphere floated up, as if seeking escape. “I’m the Archangel Astrid.”
An archangel? She should have guessed. For decades, archangels had been the true monsters lurking in the shadows without mercy or a moral compass. Except since meeting Nate, her perception of archangels as despicable creatures had crumbled. The only reason she’d imagined Astrid was a demon was because she had loved Dagan.
Nothing in the histories of the Watchers even hinted such a union could be possible. But the histories didn’t know everything.
Astrid approached. Her psychic grip on Bella was absolute, rendering her powers useless. But that wasn’t all. She was also physically paralyzed. Frozen in place, her gaze fixed on the phial as the archangel slowly raised it, only for her to pause over the wound she’d slashed in Bella’s side.
“No.” She choked on the word but couldn’t help it as the image of Dagan flashed through her mind. She was only half-demon, but that wouldn’t be enough to save her.
“Beg.” Astrid breathed the word against her ear, before dropping a thread of the poison into her body.
Fire scorched her flesh, scalded her blood, and distorted her vision. She couldn’t move, but her body was falling through the void beyond the universe and her soul splintered into a million shards of rainbow bright light.
Was this how it ended? Before she even had the chance to tell Nate how much she loved him? Death, from the hand of an avenging archangel.
Her powers were bound. She couldn’t reach him with their telepathic bond. But he was all she could think of, all she could see, and with every shred of energy she possessed, his name filled her mind.
“Nate.”
Chapter 30
Nate
Nate caught up with Inanna in Zega, and they were on a rooftop garden that gave a spectacular view of the lush valley. The last time he’d been here with Mephisto, he’d vowed to let her know of the possible danger from the Guardians’ atmosphere. Whether archangels liked it or not, they were created from the same DNA as that of the gods. And while he didn’t give a fuck about most of them, he and Inanna went back a long way together.
She stood beside him and contemplated the view. “Is Dagan dead?” There was mild curiosity in her voice. “If he teleported, there’s no way of knowing for sure.”
“I didn’t behead him.” That was one sure method of killing any immortal. “But I’ve never seen anything like that stuff before. It destroyed him from the inside out.”
He exhaled a long breath. He’d kept Isabella’s name out of it. There was no need for Inanna to know to everything.
Gods, he should never have allowed Isabella to accompany him to the temple. She was strong, and she was a survivor, but until she’d met him, she hadn’t been a killer.
She’d chosen to save him, at the cost of one of her own. But the true price was far greater. When they’d arrived back at her home, he’d seen the despair in her eyes, even though she’d tried to hide it. And it had nothing to do with her shattered possessions.
“He must have thought it a great joke to desecrate my temple in such a way.” Now Inanna sounded pissed. “I’ve a good mind to cleanse the entire mountain in fire.”
The Watchers’ archives would be destroyed. Did he care about that?
“It’s the only place demon bloods on Earth have to learn of their history.” Yeah, he guessed he did care, after all. Because the Watchers had saved Isabella when she’d needed them the most and with Nijah gone, she could have her surrogate family back.
“And since when has that ever concerned you?” Inanna turned to face him, and he saw comprehension gleam in her eyes. Fuck… “Are you involved with a demon blood, Nate?”
“It’s irrelevant.”
“You are.” Inanna sounded in
ordinately delighted. He couldn’t think why. “Although I shouldn’t be surprised. You were always one of the rebel archangels.”
Every word was like the slash of a dagger against his feathers. If everything had been great between him and Isabella, he wouldn’t care what Inanna said. Hell, he’d probably tell her how he’d finally fallen, and laugh with her when she mercilessly mocked him.
But things weren’t right. No matter how much he tried to convince himself they were. And tangled up with the mess he’d made of everything with Isabella was the gnawing unease that he was missing something vital, that there was unfinished business just beyond his comprehension, and he couldn’t escape its relentless grip.
He was grasping at straws. There was nothing else. The only reason he was feeling like shit was because of the chasm that was tearing him and Isabella apart. And he had no idea how to heal the rift.
There was no miraculous act that could reset the clock.
“What really happened between you and Dagan?” Inanna gave him an assessing look. “Why did you turn your back on him? I confess I’ve occasionally pondered on it, over the years.”
Of all the immortals he’d known in Ama-gi and had remained in contact with, Inanna was the only one who had always known he’d been aware of who Dagan truly was. Archangels had scattered across the universe, oblivious that a demon had shared their paradise on Earth with them. Only Inanna would have considered it noteworthy that he’d severed ties with Dagan after the destruction of Nibiru.
“He betrayed me.” It was all she needed to know. He’d shared his deepest secrets with Isabella, and that was how it would remain until the end of time. His guilt was deep, but she’d been right. Their goddess would never have allowed the Nephilim to flourish once she’d learned of their existence.
“That’s no big revelation.” Inanna sounded disappointed. “He was a demon. What did you expect? Demons and archangels can never be trusted.” She tossed him a mocking smile. “Present company excepted.”
He glared across the landscape, but all he saw in his mind’s eye was Dagan as he’d clutched his arm in those final moments in the atrium. The demon’s last words echoed through his brain.
Salvation: A Realm of Flame and Shadow Novel Page 26