“I’ll be all right. Thank you, Sadie, for all your help.”
Harriet hastily draped her shawl over her shoulders and followed Mr. Ryson outside to the small building across the road with the sign, Dr. E. Hardyn, above the door.
Inside, there was a blue curtain drawn across half of the room. Harriet had never been in here before, and she had never even met the doctor.
He came out from behind the curtain now, his forehead creased with worry, his gray hair matted. He’d obviously been asleep before being woken to help Matthew.
“Is he all right?”
“He will be. He lost a lot of blood when he hit his head on something and because he’d been lying there all day. I’ve stitched him up, but he hasn’t woken up yet. We’ll keep him here tonight and then see how he’s doing tomorrow.”
“Can I stay here with him? In case he wakes up?”
Doctor Hardyn nodded, setting his bag of supplies on his desk. “Yes, that would be a good idea. I’ll be upstairs asleep if he needs anything.”
“Mr. Ryson? Do you think Sadie would mind going out to our place to stay with the children? And to help them get to school tomorrow?”
“She definitely wouldn’t. I’ll drive her out there right now. Don’t worry about a thing, Miss Wigg.”
Harriet smiled a little as Mr. Ryson stepped outside, and Doctor Hardyn went upstairs. Turning toward the curtain, she took a deep breath before sliding them open a little and stepping in. Matthew was lying on a small bed, a white cloth bound around his head, his closed eyes twitching. The light from the lantern shone on his face as she crossed the room to stand beside him.
“Matthew?” she whispered. He didn’t move, so Harriet reached for his hand which hung lifelessly off the side of the bed.
Taking it in hers, she held it tightly. “You’re going to be all right. I promise.”
She noticed his hand felt cold against hers, so she turned to see if she could find any other blankets to cover him with. One was neatly folded on a chair on the other side of the room, so she grabbed it and draped it over him.
All her fears and worries of the last few weeks seem to bubble to the surface, and she blurted out, “Matthew. I would be really happy if you woke up soon because I was worried about you today. I know that my limp bothers you, and I don’t blame you but I just want you to know that I love you. I love you even though you seem so distant from me. Even though I know you don’t love me, and that all you do is hurt me. I don’t know why I love you. It’s so silly.”
Tears welled in her eyes as she reached to brush the hair hanging in front of his face back.
“The children were really worried too, but I’ve got someone going out there to look after them now.”
She stood over him for a while, looking down at his worn face, with bags under his eyes. She’d noticed that over the last few weeks, he seemed more and more tired with each day that passed. But of course, she didn’t ask, and he didn’t tell her anything.
Harriet wondered what had happened that caused the wagon to roll as it did, and she hoped he remembered it well enough to tell her.
Eventually, Harriet’s leg began to ache, and she sighed, looking down at it before pulling the chair closer to Matthew and sitting down.
It wasn’t long before she’d tucked her legs in closer to her and closed her eyes. I’ll just rest my eyes for a few minutes. But as she told herself, she knew it was a lie. She was so tired that it was only a matter of seconds before she felt herself falling and being dragged down into darkness.
Chapter 23
Matthew’s head was pounding, and it felt like his throat was being scratched out by a wild animal. As he opened his eyes, the light made the room around him swirl.
He groaned, turning his head to see where he was. It looked like the doctor’s office, but why on earth was he here? He widened his eyes as he noticed Harriet curled up in the chair next to his bed, fast asleep, her eyebrows drawn close together.
“Harriet?” his voice was hoarse as he tried to sit up but instantly he felt dizzy.
She jumped, her eyelids fluttering open before she stood up and loomed over to him. “Matthew? Oh, Matthew, thank God you’re awake.”
He felt her hands hold his arm, and he groaned, as she helped him lie back down. “What happened?”
“You don’t remember?” Her voice seemed shaky as she gripped his hand tightly.
“Last I remember I was going to town.”
“They found you last night after I told everyone you hadn’t returned home. You were on the side of the road with the wagon rolled on its side. I think you hit your head on something and passed out.”
His eyes widened as the throbbing in his head intensified. “I think I might have fallen asleep on the way. That’s what I remember last—being tired, that is.”
“I was so worried about you.”
“Why were you worried about me? After all I’ve done to you?”
“Oh, Matthew, I know why you were acting the way you were. And I understand. If you don’t want to marry me because of my leg, I’m okay with that, but just know that I don’t hate you.”
Matthew sat up quickly, his vision instantly blurring. He felt the tears burning in his eyes at the pain. But also for the fact he’d never considered how Harriet must have been feeling all this time as he’d tried to distance himself from her. All this time she’d believed he didn’t want to marry her because of her limp, and he felt awful.
He didn’t have time to tell her this, though—didn’t have time to tell her he loved her before his world turned black once again.
“Matthew? Matthew? Oh God, please wake up.”
Matthew heard Harriet’s panicked voice, but he couldn’t find her. It was so dark where he was. He just couldn’t see her. He tried to call out for her, but no sound would come out.
Matthew could hear her crying, and all he wanted was to pull her into his arms and tell her he was all right, but he still couldn’t reach her. He knew something was wrong—that he’d done something wrong, but he couldn’t remember.
“Mr. Anderson. Come on, wake up.” Matthew heard what sounded like Doctor Hardyn, when suddenly he felt something splash onto his face.
His eyes opened quickly, and he was back in the doctor’s office with Harriet standing over him and tears running down her face. Doctor Hardyn was on the other side of him with a now empty pitcher of water.
He groaned again, his vision swirling.
“I think it’s best not to try moving him home today, Miss Wigg. I want him to stay here for another day and see how he is then,” Doctor Hardyn said, and Matthew reached for Harriet who gripped his hand tightly.
“Yes, I think that’s a good idea. I’ll stay here with him.”
“And, Mr. Anderson, I want you to try to rest today and not move around too much. And maybe get some water as well.”
Matthew tried to nod, but his head instantly felt heavy again. He willed himself to not pass out again, and somehow, he didn’t.
Doctor Hardyn stepped out and shut the curtain behind him as Harriet rushed over to the basin of water and filled a glass.
“Here. Drink this.” She sat on the edge of the bed next to him, resting a hand behind his shoulders, so he could sit up slightly as she held the glass to his mouth.
Matthew opened his mouth and drank it quickly. He hadn’t realized how thirsty he was.
She stood and got another glass, and helped him drink the rest of it. “Do you want more?”
“No. That’s good for now. Thank you.” He shut his eyes, hearing the glass being set down on the table next to him. He felt Harriet’s small hand slide into his and he smiled, opening his eyes again. All of a sudden, he thought of something. “The children?”
“They’re okay. Sadie went to stay with them last night, and she’ll look after them.”
Relief flooded through him as he relaxed again. “I’m sorry, Harriet.”
“For what?”
“For everything. For this.
For the way I treated you before. It was wrong.”
“Matthew,” she said, and he felt her hand brush the hair off his forehead. “Don’t worry about that right now. Just focus on getting better.”
“But, Harriet, it wasn’t—”
“No.” She stopped him, squeezing his hand. “Just rest, Matthew. Please.”
He frowned but didn’t want her to worry about him anymore, so he unhappily shut his eyes and somehow found himself instantly descending into darkness.
Chapter 24
Matthew had decided he was going home. He wanted to be in his own bed again, and for poor Harriet to stop sleeping in a chair.
He felt bad that Harriet had spent the last day and night at his side, and Doctor Hardyn had been helping her to care for him. He knew she was exhausted from what little sleep she’d gotten in the chair.
Matthew slid his legs over the edge of the bed now, sliding his shoes onto his feet. As he did, he heard Harriet shriek as she woke up and rushed around the bed to help him.
“I’m fine, Harriet. I feel much better.” He tried to reassure her, but she still gripped his arm as he stood.
When he didn’t fall, she laughed, a grin on her face as she pulled him into a hug.
Doctor Hardyn pulled the curtain aside and smiled too. “Going home, are you?”
“I’d sure like to.”
“I’d say you’ll be all right but be sure to get lots of rest and no hard work for a little while. Miss Wigg will be sure you follow my instructions.”
He nodded, making his way to the door. “Thanks again, Doctor.”
“I think Mr. Tysen said you could use his wagon to get home, so if you go over there you should find it,” Doctor Hardyn explained, sitting down at his desk.
Matthew waved once, before motioning for Harriet to go out as he followed after her. The morning air was warm, and he smiled, taking a deep breath of the fresh air. It felt good to be outside again.
“Come on. Let’s hurry.” Harriet’s voice was full of worry as she held on to his arm and they walked across to Mr. Tysen’s.
Matthew didn’t bother telling her not to worry, since it was clear she was going to until he was resting again.
Mr. Tysen was in his shop, and before he could say anything, Harriet pulled away from him to step inside.
“Good morning, Mr. Tysen. Doctor Hardyn mentioned that you said we could use your wagon to get Matthew home.”
“Oh, yes of course. It’s just to the side of the building with the horses ready to go. I can drive it if you’d like, or do you think you can manage?”
To Matthew’s surprise, Harriet nodded. “I can drive it, but thank you. You seem to be busy with some work and I’d hate to bother you. Will you be by to pick it up?”
“Yes, I’ll ride out in a bit. Or young Miss Ryson can bring it back in. I’m glad you’re feeling a little better, Matthew.”
Matthew nodded to him, as Harriet grabbed his arm again and led him to the wagon.
“Do you want to lie in the back?”
“Harriet, I’m fine. I will drive.”
She shook her head, climbing up onto the seat. “You will do no such thing. You just sit up here beside me, I guess.”
“Harriet, have you ever managed a team of horses before?”
“No, but I’ve watched you do it. We will be fine.”
Matthew sighed, pulling himself up into the seat beside her, feeling a little worried for their safety. He knew he would be fine to take them home, but Harriet seemed determined to not let him even breathe too hard.
He didn’t blame her—she’d been through a lot these past two days, from the moment she’d walked all the way to town to get help. He didn’t know why she’d even bothered, after how he’d treated her.
Now, though, Matthew realized bad things can happen to anyone at anytime. If he spent his whole life not caring about people just because he was afraid to lose them, well, it wouldn’t really be much of a life at all.
He also realized that some people, no matter how badly you’ve treated them, had forgiveness in their heart and would always be there. Harriet had sat with him the whole time, and he was grateful for it. He realized that for a while, she may have been afraid she’d lost him.
Life can slip away at any moment, but if you spend your whole life fearing loss, your loss of enjoying life will be greater. He was almost grateful he’d had his accident, because perhaps without it, he wouldn’t have realized this. Nor understood how Harriet had been feeling these past few weeks.
He looked to Harriet now, who was gripping the reins tightly in her hands, and smiled.
“Just lift the reins a little and tap the back of the horse.” As she did, Matthew clicked his tongue and the horses began to slowly move forward.
Matthew held onto the side of his seat tightly, his knuckles turning white as they made their way slowly, but surely, home.
As the small house at the bottom of the hill came into view, Matthew felt himself smile even more. He was glad to be home, and happy to be around the children again. They’d been in to visit him after school yesterday, but they seemed quiet and afraid to act like themselves.
Matthew knew it was likely because they were worried about him and were unsure how to act. When they got inside, Sadie was sitting at the table with her knitting, and Matthew smiled at her. He was grateful for her coming to stay out here and help look after the children.
It was awful timing that his accident had happened while Nathaniel was away, but Matthew wondered if maybe some things happened for a reason. If his brother hadn’t been away when it had happened, Nathaniel would have been the one to come to town looking, and not Harriet.
Maybe Matthew wouldn’t have realized what he’d learned when he saw Harriet curled up in the chair next to the bed.
“Oh, I’m so happy you’re feeling better, Mr. Anderson. I’ve got a soup going for lunch if you’d like, and once we have it, I’ll be on my way. Unless you would prefer I go now?”
Harriet answered for him. “Of course you can stay, Sadie. We couldn’t have done this without you. Thank you so much. Were the children good?”
“Oh yes, they were wonderful. They did all their chores and went off to school early this morning.”
Harriet turned to him, and then looked down the hall. “You should go lie down, Matthew.”
“I’m fine,” he insisted, stepping toward the table.
“Doctor’s orders. You can have my room, and I’ll stay in the loft.”
Matthew sighed, shaking his head. “That is just a hay bed. I couldn’t let you.”
“Matthew,” Harriet warned, and as she did, Matthew smiled before turning around and making his way to his old room.
He knew he wouldn’t sleep, because he just wasn’t tired, but at least if he were to lie down, Harriet would stop fussing.
Chapter 25
It had been a few days since Matthew’s accident, and Harriet was relieved he was all right. Things seemed to be going better between the two of them, but Harriet knew Matthew didn’t want to marry her.
She had accepted it and knew once Matthew had recovered, she’d tell him she understood that marrying her wouldn’t be in his best interest. She’d then find her way back to the school, where she would have to face Madam Wigg’s disappointment, but she could take it.
She wondered if Matthew was being nice to her now, just because of what had happened with his accident and he felt he owed her it. Nathaniel had arrived home yesterday and felt awful that he hadn’t been here to help when he was needed.
Now, though, it was just Harriet and Matthew in the house. Matthew sat quietly at the table reading the paper while Harriet bent down to put the pie in the oven. She could feel Matthew’s eyes on her as she turned and met his eyes. As soon as she did, he quickly looked away.
That was odd. Harriet wiped her hands on her apron. She noticed Matthew look back up at her again, and then he quickly shifted his eyes away.
“Matthew?” she started,
taking a step toward him.
“I’m just going outside for a bit. I need some fresh air.” Matthew jumped up from his chair and was out the door within seconds.
Harriet watched him for a minute before shrugging and turning back to where she had some dishes in the basin needing to be cleaned and put away.
Once everything was cleaned up, Harriet moved to look out the window to see if she could see Matthew but he wasn’t out there.
With a sigh, she made her way outside and found him leaning against a tree a little ways behind the house. Making her way over to him, she asked, “Matthew?”
He jumped, quickly turning to face her. “Oh, it’s just you. You scared me.”
“Sorry,” she said stepping toward him. “Are you all right? You were acting kind of strange just before you left.”
He didn’t meet her glance, and Harriet wondered if he was ashamed of her, but still felt he had to marry her. “I’m fine. Just tired, is all.”
Harriet tightened her hands in to fists, and released them again, trying to maintain her composure. “That’s not all and you know it. I know what’s wrong.”
Matthew widened his eyes, stepping back. “You do?”
“Yes. You don’t want to marry me anymore because of my limp. Don’t deny it because I know it’s true. Otherwise, why else have you not even mentioned us getting married since that first day, and the minister is back with his congregation. I also know because of how you treated me before your accident? It’s okay if you don’t want to marry me for all the shame it would bring you, but please just tell me so I can go home!” Harriet finished, her final words filled with the unshed tears she had welling in her eyes.
She hadn’t meant to start crying, or to get so upset over it. She’d thought she was fine with it, but she realized as the words came out of her mouth that she loved it here, and him, despite all that had happened.
“Oh, Harriet.” Matthew stepped toward her, holding out his hand but she moved back, shaking her head, tears running down her face.
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