Bobby was a sucker for eyes. Every woman has their thing, maybe two, but definitely one part of a man that grabs their attention and holds them captive. Bobby’s was a man’s eyes. I preferred a man’s smile. If a man had a great smile, a real one that reached his eyes, that made interesting lines form, I was hooked. That was exactly what had drawn me to Chasin. The moment he smiled—carefree, open, real, honest—I was a goner.
“Babe?” Chasin’s rough voice pulled me from my thoughts and I glanced from the other men to him to find his eyes narrowed.
“Yeah?”
“You wanna stop looking at Jameson and Jonny like you’re deciding which one you’re gonna eat first so I can introduce you and Jameson can get to work?”
Two deep male chuckles filled the room and embarrassment washed over me.
“I wasn’t deciding which one I wanted to eat first,” I snapped.
“I was,” Bobby muttered, and I tugged her hand in a silent effort to get her not to speak.
“Bobby,” I hissed, making my nonverbal point clear.
“What? I was. There’s no point lying about it, when clearly, Chasin read the situation.”
“Word of warning, Jameson’s wife looks like a sweet, golden-haired angel, but she’s a Pit Bull with a shotgun,” Chasin said.
“Which one’s Jameson?” Bobby asked and I shook my head.
“I am,” the black-haired man answered.
“Well, that’s a relief. As fine as you are, with your crazy-cool tatts and all that black hair I’m sure your woman totally digs, you can rest easy she won’t need to pull out her shotgun,” Bobby blurted out and thankfully stopped at that.
“Hi, I’m Genevieve,” I lamely introduced myself in an effort to move the conversation from crazy-cool tatts and shotguns.
I wasn’t entirely sure, but I didn’t think the threat of buckshot to my friend’s ass would’ve actually stopped her from gawking at Jameson. Knowing he had a wife would’ve made him untouchable, but Bobby would still look, then likely wax poetic with his wife about how lucky she was to have a hot guy with crazy-cool tatts.
Bobby was that insane.
“I’m Jonny,” the blue-eyed man announced, and I swear to God, Bobby sighed.
“Cool to meet you both. Thanks for coming over and helping out,” I replied.
I gave Bobby a swift tug and her eyes came to mine. “What?”
“Jesus,” Chasin mumbled.
“What?” Bobby rasped.
“Jesus,” Chasin repeated, this time with humor. “Babe, your girl’s a nut.”
“Well?” Bobby asked. “Someone gonna let in me on why Chasin’s smiling like an idiot? Which I have to admit, now that I’ve seen it, and knowing Viv’s weakness is a hot guy with a great smile, I totally get it now. I wasn’t so sure before because, well, you can kinda be a dick. But when you smile, damn, I totally get it.”
Someone kill me now.
Seriously, I was contemplating walking out of the house in hopes my crazy stalker would promptly kidnap me and take me to a remote cabin. Of course, I didn’t want to share a cabin with a crazy stalker, but maybe he could just stash me there before he disappeared, leaving me to starve to death.
“Shut. Up!”
“What? Is that not the truth? He’s got a great smile. I see it now.”
I closed my eyes and prayed for patience. God did not answer my prayer but He gave me something better. Something I’d had for a few days then lost. Once it was gone, I never thought I’d hear it again, and that hurt.
But right then, Chasin’s deep velvet laugh filled the room and coated my skin.
My mom cheats on my dad.
Shit. Shit. Shit. He had a reason, not an excuse but an actual reason, for being a dick. One that I fully understood because I’d let him walk away for my own reasons. Ones that were not the same but similar in that my parents had inflicted them and made sure their blame and hatred penetrated so deeply that I’d never forget it.
My parents’ alcoholism and abuse had colored my world, leaving me with something dark and sinister.
So I was holding a grudge I didn’t want to hold, out of fear.
Fear was my constant companion. I nurtured it through the years until it took root and grew so tall I lived under the shadows of a canopy of self-doubt.
Maybe I was wrong, thinking I didn’t want anyone to see the real me. Maybe that was all bullshit I’d made up as an excuse to push people away when they got close. I used my fame as a new excuse, a crutch to keep everyone at bay.
Maybe I was nothing more than a broken woman with a pocket full of bitterness and resentment.
Maybe it was time to fix that.
11
Chasin watched with fascinated pleasure as Genevieve’s lips curved into a beautiful smile that split her face and made her look like she had a secret—a really great one. Then slowly the smile turned into a frown and the warmth he’d been experiencing turned to ice.
What the fuck?
“Genevieve?” he called, all humor gone.
Her eyes came open, and for a moment pain—so stark it shone brightly before she closed down.
That shit was going to end. All of it. The pain in her eyes and the freeze-out. The first time Chasin had seen it was one time too many.
“Yeah?”
“We need to get to work.”
“Right. What do you need from me?”
Chasin took Genevieve in—her stiff posture, her hand still in Bobby’s. Only now she wasn’t trying to calm Bobby down or shut her up, she was using her as a lifeline. He knew that because there was a wobble in her voice he didn’t like and it had not one goddamn thing to do with the reason Jameson and Jonny were at her place.
Wherever she’d gone in her head wasn’t a good place to go. He knew that, too. Not only because of the wobble in her voice, the straight stiff posture, or her using Bobby as a shield, but he sensed something ugly leaking from her. But more than that, he felt it.
Straight up, he could feel the acid churning, and for once that feeling didn’t come from thinking about his twat of a mother. He was feeling for Genevieve. He felt her pain, and he was going to do something about it.
“Before we get down to business, I need a word, Genevieve.” She held his stare but made no effort to move. “In private,” he finished.
Bobby’s lips twisted in an attempt not to smile. She released Genevieve’s hand, and even went as far as giving Genevieve a gentle shove in Chasin’s direction.
Genevieve’s startled eyes went to Bobby, then back to Chasin, before she woodenly made her way across the room.
“Give us a minute,” he said, and followed Genevieve through the foyer and into the kitchen.
When she stopped, Chasin didn’t. He kept going until he was in Genevieve’s space and her ass was pressed against the countertop.
“Chas—”
“Warning. Whatever that was back there, I’m putting an end to it.”
“What?”
“That look, Evie. The one where you went from smiling to looking like someone carved your insides out. That shit is ending.”
“Evie?” she breathed.
“Stick with me, honey, ’cause this is important. I don’t know what trip you took in your head that made your eyes frost over with pain and took you from that room, but whatever it was, like it or not, I’m gonna figure it out, dig it out, and you’re gonna let it go.”
Genevieve’s eyes flared in irritation before she snapped, “Don’t be condescending.”
Chasin stared at the woman before him and wondered if she was worth the effort it was going to take to get through all her thorns and thistles. Then he remembered her smiling. Her teasing him. Her carefree. The way she wrapped herself around him like she never wanted to let him go. How good she felt under him. The sounds she made. Her moaning his name.
His perfect match.
Yeah, she’s well worth it. Thorns and all.
Chasin decided to ignore her remark and push. “What took
you from that room?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do. You closed your eyes and smiled so huge I couldn’t stop looking at you. Then you turned, and when you did, swear to God, Evie, I could feel it across the room. Something ugly filled your head. And when you opened your eyes…” Chasin stopped and shook his head. “Christ, they were so full of pain it hurt to look at you.”
Genevieve was quiet for a moment, but she pressed her forefinger against her thumbnail, something he’d watched her do when she was thinking.
“I need time,” she whispered.
“What?”
“Time, Chasin. I need you to give me time.”
“Time to do what?”
“Think.”
“Oh, no. That’s the last thing you need. After what I witnessed in there, you in your head is not a safe place to be.”
That earned him another flare of her eyes, but this time after they widened, they narrowed.
“That’s not up to you to decide.”
“Straight up, Evie, I’m making the decision. No more time. No more walls. No more emotional guard dog. I’m seeing why Bobby lets you push her away. But I’m not gonna allow you to do it to me.” Chasin heard the swift intake of breath, felt the air whoosh by as she inhaled. “Are you getting it yet?”
“Getting what?” she asked on an exhale.
“That I’m not stupid.”
“Stupid?”
Genevieve’s head cocked to the side and her brows pinched together.
Damn, she was cute when she was flustered.
“And I’m resourceful.”
“I’m lost.”
Yeah, she was. Lost in more ways than one. But she would be found—he’d make damn sure of it.
“I am not stupid. That’s not to say, I don’t make mistakes and act like a dick, but I don’t ever make the same one twice. I let you go once. Was a total dick. I know I was wrong and you know I was wrong. Being as I’m not a dumbfuck, I won’t be making that mistake again. And, Evie, right now you gotta get I’m not letting you go again. And I’m resourceful, which means I’m gonna get creative. I’m not giving you time to build more walls. I’m not giving you time to find new ways to keep me out.”
“Just so you know, I’m resourceful, too,” Genevieve snapped.
“Yeah, baby, that’s not lost on me. That’s why I’m not giving you the time you want so you can get creative and find new ways to lock me out. Just so we’re clear, every time you do something that takes you from me, and make it so I can’t reach you, I’m tearing it down. I don’t care how much it pisses you off. I’d rather see you pissed at me than dead and vacant.”
Both of them stood in silence, staring at each other. Genevieve’s face was set to frozen but even still, she couldn’t hide the panic. Chasin would bet that not a single person in her life forced her to face her demons. Bobby sure as hell hadn’t and he figured it was because Bobby knew her, therefore she understood the pain Genevieve carried and didn’t want to make her friend relive the past. But Bobby also allowed Genevieve to retreat and pull away from her. Chasin didn’t understand that.
“This isn’t cool,” she muttered. “I have a lot going on and I don’t need you to add—”
“I’m exactly what you need,” he cut her off.
“Chasin—”
“You wanna think about something, hark back to the weekend we spent together. Think about that. Think about how you felt standing in this kitchen in my tee making waffles. Think about how you felt when it was just me and you, smiling, laughing, and teasing. And while you’re there, think about how you felt when my hands were on you, my mouth was between your legs, and my cock was buried deep. Lastly, think about how you felt when you fell asleep wrapped around me. Then you think real hard, Evie, and tell me if all of that, all we had that weekend, isn’t worth taking a chance on. Seeing where it will go and what we could have.”
“I know where it will go.”
“Jesus. You don’t know. You don’t have the first clue because if you did, you’d know the time we shared meant something. It was good, and we’d be crazy not to see where it could go. You’d also know that the way we clicked, the chemistry we’ve got, how we both felt after only a few days together, is not normal. That itself tells me it’s worth the chance.”
“You’re wrong,” she whispered, and Chasin felt something unpleasant curl in his gut. It wasn’t her denial, it was the tortured murmur. And when she went on, unpleasant turned to foul. “I know what our time together meant to me, therefore I know it meant too much. I also know where that feeling leads. And it leads to one place and one place only—disappointment. You had your say, I get the feeling you’re used to getting your way. You’re used to being large and in charge and I’m sure most women bow down to your commands. But I am not most women. I’ve been screwed over so many times I’ve learned to nip that shit in the ass before it starts. So you got a choice, Chasin. Back the fuck off and let me think, or keep pushing, guaranteeing I lock down so tight you’ll never get through.”
Chasin did his best to tamp down his anger but the fury built. Not at her, but at all the assholes that had come before him, all the people who’d screwed her over. He also thought about the anguish he heard in her voice, and the pain in her eyes.
There was no chance he was backing down. But he would give her a reprieve. They had a house full of people and he had work he needed to see to. Work that would hopefully bring them a step closer to identifying the man who was terrorizing her.
His hand came up, curled around the back of her neck. His fingers dug in, putting just enough pressure there to bring her closer. Then he said, “While you’re taking your time, think about this, Evie. You got one life, baby, just one. Don’t let all the beauty you have to give go to waste by hiding. That’d be totally fucking sad. Doing that would mean you’d miss out on getting it in return, a life full of the goodness you deserve. That wouldn’t be sad, that’d be a goddamned travesty.”
Before she could respond, Chasin gave her one last squeeze and stepped away.
“Let’s get back in there. Bobby’s had enough time to find a rope and tie Jonny to a chair,” Chasin teased.
Genevieve’s lips tipped up and there was that hint of a smile. He knew it wasn’t real, but at least it was something.
She followed as Chasin walked back into the sunroom, pissed as fuck. There was no reason for a woman as beautiful and talented as Genevieve Ellison to live in a self-imposed prison.
Haunted eyes.
Jaded.
Broken.
12
You got one life, baby.
I couldn’t stop thinking about what Chasin had said. Of course, he was correct, I only had one life and I wasn’t living it. Not really. I was drifting. I had been before my first record deal and I was still doing it now. The only difference was the number of zeroes in my checking account and I now had something to hide behind—my career.
I could hide and blame it on fame.
I couldn’t go anywhere without being recognized so no one questioned me when I stayed home. I had a whole host of excuses for why I behaved the way I did. I could blame my celebrity on my emotional disconnect and no one dared to say anything. Not Leslie, not Melissa, not even Bobby.
I was sitting at the kitchen table with a notebook in front of me, tapping the tip of my pen on the blank page, when Bobby walked in. We’d had our talk with Jonny, whom I’d learned was competent, smart, and very kind. Thankfully, Bobby was a professional, so the moment Jonny started to ask about my stalker, all flirting and swooning had stopped. That didn’t mean I hadn’t caught her sneaking a peek at his tush when he was walking out to his SUV, but she hadn’t made anymore inappropriate comments.
I still hadn’t gathered the courage to talk to Bobby about her quitting and me making amends. I told myself it was because she’d been busy rearranging her schedule since she’d now be staying in Kent County. But it was because I was afraid I’d
broken us irrevocably.
“You got a minute?” I asked, and Bobby’s gaze went from me down to the paper. “Grocery list,” I answered her unasked question.
“Are you havin’ trouble writing a grocery list?” She smiled and I nodded.
I tossed the pen on the pad and smiled back. “The irony’s not lost on me, friend.”
Bobby burst out laughing and sat across from me. “What’s on your mind?”
That right there was part of what I missed the most about Bobby. She knew me, really and truly knew me.
“Us,” I told her.
“Us?” she repeated, and her guard slammed down.
Damn. When had she learned to do that? And how had I missed it?
Bobby had always been open and outgoing. I admired that about her. She was brave and didn’t hide who she was or what she was thinking.
But now she did. From me.
And that was probably my fault, too.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said on the rooftop. You were right. Everything you said was the truth. I was struggling but managing until my parents filed that lawsuit. When they did, something inside me broke.”
“Honey, they were dredging up your childhood,” she carefully reminded me.
“It was more than that,” I admitted. “Intellectually, I know they’re drunks, they’re mean, and they’re lazy, greedy people. But they’re still my parents. They were supposed to love me. What parent doesn’t want to see their child happy and succeeding? I couldn’t deal with it. What’s so wrong with me that they couldn’t love me? How can two people be so cruel?”
“Genevieve, listen to me.” Bobby reached across the table and grabbed my hand. “There’s not a damn thing wrong with you. You’re the kindest person I know. And, honey, that’s a miracle, considering you were raised by those assholes. You’re talented and beautiful and sweet and funny. You’re loyal even when you shouldn’t be. Of course you can’t understand their cruelty and greed because you don’t know how to be those things.”
Chasin's Surrender (Gemini Group Book 5) Page 9