Enough was enough. I said to Mama, “And so what if he is my boyfriend? Would it be so bad for me to date an ordinary boy from Nurlie?”
“Oh, honey,” Mama said, shaking her head sadly. “You are the daughter of Gaard-Ma and Gaard-Elder. Have you forgotten that? As the highest-ranking family of Gaard, we are bound to the moral code of Decens-Lenitas. We are role models. We must marry people who are like us. I’m sorry, Kaelyn, but you simply cannot be with someone who doesn’t share our moral code. Why not someone of royal blood from another clan? What about Jaken or his brother, Zawne?”
I was frustrated and angry at having this conversation over and over.
“I don’t want to be with Jaken or Zawne,” I said. “I want to be with Roki.” I stomped my foot, not caring how childish I must have looked. “I don’t care where he’s from or if he doesn’t agree with Decens-Lenitas. What does it mean, anyway, our moral code? Roki has a love for all things living. So what if he doesn’t belong to a royal line? I know he would put his family first. And who cares if he doesn’t believe in lab babies and if he prefers natural births?”
Mama gasped at this. “Family? I had no idea you two were getting so serious.” She stood up straight and said in a domineering tone, “You are not to see him anymore. He believes in natural births? Is he mad?”
“He’s perfect,” I said. My composure was flaking apart. I was so angry with Mama. I spoke without thinking and didn’t care if it got me into trouble. “Roki has my feelings in mind. He took me into the heart of the city today, to the Historical District, where I saw the market reenactment. He did it so I could escape this stuffy place and all your stuffy rules. I don’t want this to be my life!”
Mama’s eyes were wide. She looked mortified.
I kept on in anger. “You’ve never done that for me, taken me out into the city. Not with a chance of your face being on the news.” I made quotation marks in the air and said, “Headline: ‘Gaard-Ma seen with civilians.’” And I scoffed, “No, not with your precious reputation to uphold. You’d never go to where I went today, walking in the street with the people. We are supposed to adhere to the moral code, but why does the moral code need to make us so … so lofty! We should be able to love who we want, go where we want, and do what we want. I hate being trapped in this system!”
A thousand emotions were passing across Mama’s face. As she stood before me, frozen, I wondered what she was thinking, what she was feeling. I hadn’t meant to denounce Decens-Lenitas. I believed wholly in its teachings. The moral code encompassed many things. For example, love for all living things, strength of mind, recognition of the class system and the monarchy, obedience to the Protectors, and outlawry of pregnancies in favor of lab-conceived and lab-grown babies. I just didn’t understand why virtue meant being a snob.
“Kaelyn,” Mama said. She appeared to have composed herself, though I could see a ferocious heat burning underneath her pinched smile. “In time you will come to understand that life is not easy. We must make sacrifices for the greater good, for the good of Gaard and for all of Geniverd. We clan leaders must maintain appearances and marry into other clans with hopes of ascending the throne. The more virtuous in the laws of Decens-Lenitas you are, the higher your chance of being promoted to king or queen. It’s why Raad, now that he has completed his Aska training, is much closer to reaching the throne.”
I couldn’t have cared less about the throne. I was proud of my brother, Raad, and I loved him. Askas were considered to be highly skilled at Decens-Lenitas and at fighting, and so were highly esteemed. A few of them who weren’t heirs were allowed to become engineers after their training, to oversee design blueprints for Protectors. Raad was brave and strong and wise for completing the brutal training, yet I didn’t see what it had to do with Roki. I asked, “Are you upset with me because I haven’t lived up to Raad? I’m not as virtuous or as brave as him. Is that why you torture me like this?”
“Honey …” She shook her head. “Of course, no. I love you both very much. I just don’t want you to waste your life. Look at what happens to those who don’t follow our moral code. They become Gurnots. Have you not heard the reports about terrorism, about the anarchist Gurnots lashing out across the territories, lighting fires from here to Lodden in an attempt to sabotage the monarchy? I’ve even heard they are stealing dangerous weapons from the Protectors! These people are treacherous, Kaelyn. I don’t want your angst to become something volatile.”
“Angst!” I was in a huff all over again. “I have no angst. There are six clans on six continents, Mama. There are eighteen blood-born heirs and heiresses, plus their spouses. That’s thirty-six choices for the crown. Let one of them have it. Let Raad have it. We all know my brother deserves to rule over Geniverd. Why can’t you just let me live my life and be with Roki? Not all ordinary people turn into Gurnots. Look at Lordin. She’s an ordinary girl from Gaard, and she’s world famous for being one of the most wholesome, kindhearted, moral people in the world.”
“Lordin is an exception,” Mama said. “She got very lucky. And we’re not talking about Lordin; we are talking about you. The coronation ceremony will be upon us in just over three years, and either you and your husband, or Raad and his wife, will replace us as Gaard’s clan leaders. One of you might be chosen as king or queen. I just want you to make the right decision for your future.”
She slid her fingers into silky leather gloves, signaling she was ready to leave. “Now hurry up and change. We need to head to the capital for your brother’s ceremony.”
“I can look after my own future,” I said. “And I’m not going to Raad’s homecoming ceremony.”
I felt silly and selfish as I said this. Raad was my brother. He had just spent the last two years in the most dangerous conditions in Geniverd for his Aska training. Trekking through the Surrvul wasteland, brutal physical training in Lodden, swimming with sharks and fighting leopards. I wanted to see him, to celebrate his triumph and his transformation now that he was a skilled Aska warrior, yet I wanted to see Roki more. I wanted to gaze into the flecks of gold and brown in his dazzling silver-gray eyes, which complemented his skin. I wanted him to hold me.
“Does that mean you’re firm in your decision?” Mama had her arms crossed, that bleak look on her face.
“Yes. I want to stay home. I can see Raad tomorrow when he gets home. I don’t need to be flaunted before Jaken and Zawne just so you can try to sell me like fruit at the market.”
Talking about the market again had Mama shaking her head. “Okay. Cool down, Kaelyn. We can discuss this when your father and I get back from the ceremony tomorrow. You’re disappointing your brother by not being there. Think about that while you’re with your boyfriend. I hope he’s more important than your family.” And with that, Mama flounced past me and out the front door.
At that moment, I desperately wanted to launch the towering vases of roses at the awaiting flyrarc, but instead, I stormed off to my sleeping quarters, getting there just in time to see the vehicle zipping past the window, rising high into the sky.
Chapter 2
Right after Mama and Papa had left, I called Roki and invited him over. Sometime later my visin beeped in my ear for the tenth time. I tapped the top of my wrist, and the device produced a projection in front of me, a translucent screen in the air. It was Mama calling again. I tapped my wrist and the projection died. “I’m busy,” I said sulkily, as if she could hear me.
I checked the time. It was nearly four. I had been brooding in my bed for over two hours! Roki was supposed to be at NordHaven any minute.
I launched myself out of bed and ran to my dressing room, where I fumbled with gown after gown until there was a pile of fabric in the middle of the floor. I finally chose a summery viridian dress and combed my hair quickly in the mirror. I smiled remembering the time Roki had said my extended eyeliner and long carbon-black lashes complemented my upturned eyes. My visin beeped again, and Roki’s voice was in my ear.
“Hey. I’m out front.
”
“Coming!” I shouted by accident. I was so nervous I could hardly control my voice. This was our first chance to be alone, completely alone, without Mama or Papa around to spy on us. I had butterflies in my stomach. I had already forgotten about the argument in the foyer. I smoothed my dress and ran to greet Roki.
He was outside, leaning against the marble balustrade, handsome as always, in a casual jacket, his hair wild. “Wow,” he said. “I never get tired of seeing your amber eyes. They’re so beautiful.”
Ten seconds in, and I was already blushing. “You’re too sweet,” I said. “Really, too sweet.”
Roki extended his hand to me. “Take a walk?”
I took his hand, and Roki led me around our impressive estate and into the garden. Bees hovered above the flower beds, and butterflies fluttered merrily beside the cobblestone path. It was peaceful here, and I was happy in Roki’s presence. The garden smelled sweet, like honeysuckle after a morning rain. I couldn’t tell if it was naturally coming from the flowers or if it was the day’s smell generated by the atmospheric bubble around NordHaven.
As we walked, Roki asked me, “Do you feel guilty about not going to your brother’s homecoming ceremony?”
“A little,” I said, feeling a sudden shame in my heart, “but there was no way I could have sat in the flyrarc with Mama for two hours after our argument. Raad will survive a day without seeing me. After all, he is an Aska now. He’s supposed to have hardened his mind, soul, and body. He can survive one more day without his sister.”
“True,” Roki said. “Askas are the fiercest warriors in all of Geniverd.” He hesitated, looking into a bed of roses. “But what happened with Gaard-Ma? I hope it wasn’t an argument about me.”
“It was and it wasn’t,” I said. It was a little embarrassing to tell Roki I had screamed at my mother, “He’s perfect!” Instead, I said, “It was more of the same, the same argument we’ve been having a lot lately. You know, about the expectations my parents have for me to become clan leader, even to become queen. I’m just so tired of it, Roki. People think I’m set for life because of who I am. Mama tells me I should be excited about all the prospects I have, about all the potential suitors. All I want to do is hide under my bed. There must be more to life. There must be more than ceremonies and extravagant balls and fancy retreats all over Geniverd.”
I knew by Roki’s gentle expression that he understood what I was saying. Roki always got me. It was like he was tuned in to my frequency. He raised his bushy eyebrows and let me go on ranting.
“Mama’s just mad because I’m not as good as Raad,” I said. “She’s also scared that if Gaard doesn’t produce a king or queen soon, our family will be deposed, demoted to simple folk. Oh gosh, the horror! Mama always talks about how our lineage is cursed. It’s a ridiculous thought. We aren’t cursed just because I reject the path I’m supposed to follow.”
“Why do you think that is?” Roki asked, back to admiring the roses. “Why do you reject what’s expected of the First Daughter of Gaard?”
“Maybe I don’t want to be the First Daughter of Gaard.” I hung my head. Roki was trying to be sweet by asking me how I felt about everything, about my life, but it was just making me depressed. “I hate how Mama wants to sell me off to the Shondur Clan like I’m a tool for trading. She wants me to marry Jaken or Zawne so that I’m in a better position to be chosen at the coronation in three years.”
“Of course she’d want you to marry a prince.” Roki raised his eyebrow. “It’s been nearly forty years since the last coronation. Wow.”
“Yes,” I said. “A little over three years until the Crown of Crowns swoops down from the sky and lands on the head of the chosen one. Papa told me stories about the last coronation. He said it had been amazing to watch. He said that the bird had soared from the sky, seemingly from no place at all, and landed on the heirs of Shondur. They were made queen and king instantly. That was thirty-seven years ago.”
A quirky smile came to Roki’s lips. “I do wonder where that bird comes from. It’s a real mystery,” he said. Then he plucked a rose from the flower bed and gave it to me. “Here, a beautiful rose for a beautiful girl.”
I smiled, twirled the rose in my fingers, and said, “I prefer to be with you. I don’t want to marry Jaken or Zawne.”
“I don’t want you to either.”
“And who knows?” I said with a sudden burst of energy. “Maybe if you divulge your intentions to Mama and Papa, and we are officially together when the time of the ceremony comes, the Crown of Crowns will land on your head. Can you imagine it, Roki, you and me as king and queen? We could make the kingdom a better place. We could make Geniverd better for the common man, try to loosen the stranglehold the upper class has over society, and make Decens-Lenitas more accessible for everyone. Think about it, Roki.”
Roki laughed somewhat sadly. “If only that could be. Let’s try not to think about it. Gaard-Ma and Gaard-Elder would never allow our official union.”
“In that case,” I said, giving Roki a playful look, “I’ll marry another clan head and take you for my secret lover.”
“Your lover!”
“Sure. Why not? Mama told me a story once about a woman who was promised to marry an heir—I can’t remember which one. Anyway, the promise was revoked at the last minute, and the woman felt horribly scorned. Then the heir became king. He took the woman as his one and only mistress, loving her more fiercely than he loved his own wife, the queen. Then, um … Shoot, I forget the rest.”
I stopped and scratched my eyebrow. It was hard to remember all the details. Mama had told me the story so long ago. In my brief confusion, Roki watched me with a smile. He was always so courteous.
“Oh,” I said, “that’s right. What happened was the Gaard-Ma at the time needed the mistress’s help. See, the mistress had a huge influence over the king, more so than the queen did. Gaard-Ma beseeched the mistress to sway the king’s mind over some land acquisitions he was trying to make near Cara. He wanted to steamroller farmlands and absorb them into Cara. He wanted to make the world’s capital even bigger while displacing hundreds of Gaard farmers.
“The mistress refused Gaard-Ma’s request. She claimed the king needed that land and there was nothing anyone could do about it. Well, Gaard-Ma was known for her vengeance. All Gaard-Mas are. She started a rumor among the upper class. She denounced the mistress as a harlot and a thief, a traitor to the king and a schemer against all the people of Geniverd. After the rumor spread throughout the kingdom, the king had no choice but to banish his beloved mistress. She was forced to live in the bitter highlands in the north of Gaard. Her climb to the top ended in misery.”
Roki gave me a puzzled look. “Are you saying you want to have me as your lover just so you can banish me?”
“No!” I latched onto him, bucking against his chest. “I just thought the story related to our talk. I could never banish you, Roki! Not from my life, not from my heart.”
He stroked my head as I hugged him fiercely. I liked the feeling of his fingers in my hair and his warm chest against my body. I could smell his sweet aroma; it was more powerful than the honeysuckle scent that permeated the air around us in the garden. I never wanted the scent of him to go away.
“That’s a good fantasy you have for us,” Roki said, “but let’s focus on today. Okay? Let’s enjoy our time together.” We stood, and he took me by the hand. “Let’s walk some more.”
We strolled through the gardens of NordHaven for what felt like years, trailing alongside the artificial creek with the backs of our hands touching as if we both wanted to hold hands but were too shy. We walked beneath the artificial apple trees and laughed together, strolled below the canopy of fake leaves and vines, and across the wooden lovers’ bridge. The scents changed as we walked. I realized for the first time how much of my home was fake: the leaves, the low-hanging apples, the shifting scents wafting down from the atmospheric bubble. It was sunny and warm inside the grounds. I wondered if it
was raining outside, if people were huddled under awnings in the city and shivering from the cold.
Roki and I walked until our legs got sore. Then we sat on the edge of the big marble pool Papa had built nearly forty years ago, when he had become clan leader of Gaard. There were fish in the pool, little blue ones swimming in circles and big yellow ones with bulging eyes, sucking the film off the bottom.
“So much simpler to be a fish,” I said. “There are no fish heirs, no king or queen ruling over all the other fish, no Aska training or moral code to uphold. Yes, I think I would like to be a fish.”
“Me too,” Roki said. “It never ceases to amaze me how much in sync we are. It’s like we share the same mind.”
“Isn’t that a scary thought!” I told him. “Can you imagine sharing your mind with someone else, someone living inside your brain, inside your skin? I can’t. I prefer you just the way you are, our thoughts intertwined, and our fingers too.”
He squeezed my hand and I squeezed back. It was so nice in the sun, the fish darting around our feet in the water. The Protectors were out of sight. There was no one around.
Still, my thoughts drifted. “Maybe I would be better off training with the Grucken than getting married off to a stranger,” I said. “He is the guardian of Decens-Lenitas, after all, the most respected person aside from the king and queen. Oh, and aside from Lordin. She might be the most respected person in the world. And she trained with the Grucken!”
“The Grucken only accepts one intern per year,” Roki said. “But I know he would select you. I’ve heard all he does is look in an applicant’s eyes. He knows just from their eyes if they are the one to be trained. I’m sure he would take one look at your pretty amber eyes and know immediately. You’d be the next Lordin.”
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