This time, she turned on her side, closing her legs so Becca couldn’t touch her oversensitive skin anymore. She breathed deeply until her chest stopped heaving and she could focus on what exactly was happening. Becca ran a gentle hand up and down her back in a comforting motion, and she almost broke.
When Kimberly dared to turn her head and look at Becca over her shoulder, Becca grinned broadly and laughed. “Good?”
“Do I really need to answer that?”
“Yes.”
Shuddering once again at Becca’s command, Kimberly turned on her back and grinned. “It was better than good. You’ve got a wicked tongue there. It may need some tempering, you know.”
“Hmmm,” Becca answered. “It’s more your tongue I’m interested in right now.”
“Oh?” Kimberly asked, curious as to where this was going.
Becca stood up and shucked her pants in one swift movement before getting back on the bed but staying on her hands and knees, popping her butt in the air. Kimberly raised one eyebrow as she waited for directions, not quite sure where this was going.
“I did some thinking, and if you ask again, I will say yes.”
“Ask—ask what?” Kimberly sat up and curved her hand down Becca’s butt to her thigh, admiring the slope when it hit her. “Oh…ask that.”
“Yes. I want you to use your tongue on me.”
Kimberly situated herself carefully on her knees and massaged Becca’s butt tenderly, sliding her thumb over her anus. “Just to be very clear here, you want me to use my tongue right here.” She pushed in slightly.
Becca shivered but moved against Kimberly, forcing her thumb in even more. “Yesss…” she hissed out. “Do it now.”
Grinning cockily, Kimberly kissed Becca’s skin, but not where she wanted. Then she scraped with her teeth, once again slowing down the process until she could make Becca burn with pleasure. Torture. Well, torture through pleasure—that was what she wanted Becca to experience. Becca pressed backward, but Kimberly didn’t give in. She ran her hands up and down the outside of Becca’s thighs, then ran her nails lightly on the insides. She giggled when Becca cursed under her breath.
Sliding her thumb against Becca, she pressed it in just as she reached out her tongue and took a quick taste exactly where Becca wanted. Since this was clearly Becca’s first time in this position, Kimberly wanted to give her time to get used to what was happening. Slowly, she took her tongue in a circle around the edge of Becca’s anus, knowing the skin was insanely sensitive and wanton for touch.
Becca shuddered and bent lower to the bed. Kimberly pressed down a bit farther into her, spreading her cheeks with one hand so she could have better access while keeping her thumb and forefinger moving on the other. Becca rocked her hips in a timeless rhythm. Kimberly focused her efforts, increasing her speed and pressure until she was sure Becca wouldn’t be able to stand it.
As soon as Becca moaned, Kimberly pulled back. Slow… She had to keep reminding herself that this was supposed to be slow. She poured everything she had into making Becca feel pleasure, feel Kimberly’s care and concern for her when she couldn’t so easily say the words. Kimberly gave her everything she could in that moment, her entire focus and all of her control.
“Don’t stop,” Becca breathed the words out. “Don’t stop,” she repeated, turning her face against the sheets as she tried to catch her breath.
Kimberly had no intention of stopping, but she did want to drag it out longer. She didn’t want the night to end. She changed her pattern, forcing Becca to catch her ground again. Becca’s words became a chant as Kimberly found a new and better pattern. Giving in to the command, Kimberly picked up the pace and pressure once more, not letting up until she got the sweet squeeze of Becca’s muscles around her thumb and her breathing hitched a few times.
Slowing down, she eased away as Becca flopped onto the bed. Kimberly pressed kisses into Becca’s skin as she worked her way up Becca’s body until their lips connected. Her heart felt content as she lay against Becca’s still form. Satisfaction flowed through her, and hope for something new followed on its tail.
She grinned when she pulled away from Becca and rested her head. Gingerly, she traced her fingers over the side of Becca’s hair and behind her ear, pulling her in for one more sweet and tender kiss. Emotions flooded her as Becca’s gaze locked with hers, and she found herself at a loss for words.
Saying the first thing that came to mind, Kimberly asked, “Good?”
Becca blushed, her face so red Kimberly was worried she’d completely embarrassed her. She ran a soothing hand down her arm and rested it on her hip, trying to convey that there was no reason for embarrassment. Becca finally nodded and rolled her eyes at the same time. “Yeah, it was good, to say the least.”
“I like you being bossy. It’s a nice change.”
Becca snorted and fiddled with the ends of Kimberly’s hair. “You must just bring it out in me.”
Kimberly put their foreheads together. “As much as I would love to continue this, I am not as young as you are, and while the past few nights have been exhilarating, I need to sleep.”
Nodding, Becca sat up stiffly and looked around the floor. She grabbed her clothes, dressed rapidly and made a silent exit. She hadn’t even dared to look at Kimberly again. Unease settled in the pit of Kimberly’s belly. She wasn’t sure where it was coming from, but she was sure that whatever had just happened was going to come back to bite her in the ass.
Chapter Fourteen
Kimberly left for two days to film yet another television episode. Becca watched Michael during the day with modified hours while Bradley took him at night. He hadn’t said much to her but had nodded and smiled in her direction the first time he’d shown up at the house to collect Michael. In that instant, she knew that he knew.
Kimberly hadn’t been able to keep the secret from everyone, much like she hadn’t been able to either. Drew had texted her almost daily to check in and make sure she was doing all right. She skirted around truly answering them with how she felt, unsure of what to say.
As each day passed, she felt more and more torn. The sex might have been wonderful, and she might have certainly enjoyed the last evening they had shared together, but the way she’d been forced to leave the room had created a bitter taste in the back of her throat.
Try as she might, the house no longer felt comfortable. She was either walking on the eggshells of their pseudo-relationship or she was running on the fumes of worrying about her future. She couldn’t take it any longer. Knowing for certain she would have a student teaching position come fall—no matter where that position was—she made the decision to hand in her resignation as soon as Kimberly returned from New York.
Drew showed up as their shift ended and plopped on the couch with their bag thrown haphazardly on the floor. “Feed me,” they begged.
Becca chuckled and went to the kitchen to grab some of the many leftovers Kimberly had made for them to eat. Bradley had taken Michael hours ago, and Becca had felt the loneliness of the house creep under her skin inch by inch to the point she had called Drew and begged relentlessly for them to come over and stay the night.
She made two plates then sat down next to her best friend. She put her head on their shoulder and ate wordlessly as they stared at the television. It wasn’t much longer until Drew nudged her off and wrinkled their nose. “When are you going to tell me what’s really going on?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Becca answered defensively. “There’s nothing going on.”
“Come on. I know you better than that, and frankly, you know me better than that. Tell me what’s wrong.”
Becca sighed. “It’s so quiet when she’s gone.”
Drew waited in the silence for Becca to continue.
“I don’t know. It’s… I just don’t know.”
“Well, start with what you do know. Maybe that will help.”
“All right.” Becca thought long and hard before she sp
oke again. “I think I might… I think I might be able to fall in love with her, but I’m ninety percent sure that feeling is not reciprocated.”
“Oh, sugar,” Drew whispered, “your heart is breaking, and it hasn’t even had time to be happy yet.”
Tears sprang to Becca’s eyes and caught her off-guard. She wiped them away and scoffed when her nose stopped up. “It’s not just that. I’m pretty sure this is just about sex for her, and that when she’s done with me, she’ll toss me aside like she does everyone else. I’ll not only be left without her, but I’ll be left jobless and homeless. I mean, I live here, for Christ’s sake. Where am I supposed to go if she fires me?”
“Becca, I don’t think she’s going to fire you.”
“She’s fired other nannies before. I’m sure she’d have no qualms about firing me.”
Drew, for once, did not speak. Becca wiped her eyes again and shook her head.
“No, I need to protect myself in this.”
Confused, Drew asked, “What does that mean?”
“I need to be on the offense and not on the defense. I need to take charge here and stop letting her be the one to push me around.”
Still unsure, Drew sat back. “Is she making you do things you don’t want to do? Is she threatening your job if you don’t sleep with her?”
Becca shook her head sharply. “No, not that. But I need to rely on me and me alone. I can’t keep hoping for the best and taking what little crumbs she offers me. I need to look out for myself.”
“Okay, so what are you going to do then?”
“I’m going to quit. It’s a done thing. When she gets back, I’m going to quit, hand in my notice. I had been waffling on it, back and forth, because I love Michael so much, but I can’t. I just can’t. I have to do something.” She looked at Drew with fear and frustration written all over her features. “I have to take control.”
“Got it.” Drew pressed a hand to her thigh. “You know if she fires you, even if you want to stay all summer and she fires you, you are always welcome to crash at my apartment. You know the standard fee for overnights.”
Smirking, Becca nodded. “Thanks. I may take you up on that offer.”
“You’ll get a student teaching spot soon enough,” Drew insisted. “Then all your dreams will come true.”
Becca laid her head on Drew’s shoulder and calmed herself. Now that her decision was made, she felt better, confident for the first time in months. She knew she had her life in her own hands. Brushing the final fleeting tears from her cheeks, she vowed to not let her emotions get the better of their evening. They spent the rest of the night chatting about life and boys.
* * * *
When Kimberly walked through the door in the late evening, she had a plan formed. She wanted to share with Becca all about her cookbook, everything. She wanted to bare her soul and lay it all out on the table. If she was sure about how Becca felt, then she was sure she wanted to take the next step soon.
Becca leaving the last night they’d slept together had been the tipping point. She hadn’t wanted to have to kick Becca out of her bed before the night was over. She wanted her to stay there, relax, perhaps even call it her own. Michael was no doubt already asleep. She’d video chatted with him during her layover, and Becca was supposed to put him to bed since her flight was landing too late for her to see him, but she would certainly do so in the morning.
Just as she dragged her stuff down the hall and plopped it into the corner of her bedroom, she sighed. It felt good to be home. Hotels were one thing, but her own bed was something else completely. She pulled off her shoes and tossed them into the corner, along with her unopened suitcase, then made her way out into the kitchen.
Becca had left everything clean and pristine as she normally did. In some ways, it was odd and set Kimberly on edge, because there was barely any sign of her in the house. In other ways, it was nice that Becca cared so much to clean up after not only herself but Michael when she didn’t have to.
Rummaging through the fridge, Kimberly moaned when she saw the leftover cake still sitting on the shelf. She grabbed a fork, put the cake on the counter, popped the lid of the container off and shoved a bite into her mouth, moaning once again around the food. The sweet German chocolate cake was one of her favorites, and she had hoped there would be some left when she returned.
She was halfway through the slice when Becca came down the hallway. She stopped short at the entrance to the living area then started slowly toward Kimberly. Standing straight up, Kimberly set her fork down and stared at the soft sway of Becca’s hips.
“I didn’t think you were back yet,” Becca said.
“Not a lot of traffic, surprisingly.”
This was her chance, and as much as she wanted to take it, she couldn’t force herself to say the words. She couldn’t make them exit her throat or her mouth. Swallowing hard, Kimberly waited patiently to see what Becca would do.
“I wanted to talk to you,” Kimberly finally made out after Becca said nothing. She twisted the fork on the countertop as nerves continued to flow through her. She hadn’t been this nervous when she’d played out the conversation in her head a half-dozen times on the flight back.
“Oh?” Becca answered, coming to sit at the stool on the other side of the counter. “What about?”
Kimberly dropped her fork in the sink and moved around to sit next to Becca, deciding that would be the better option for this type of conversation. As soon as she sat down, Becca visibly tensed in every way—her shoulders, her chest, her jaw, her eyes as she focused in on Kimberly.
Pushing forward because she wasn’t sure what else to do at that point, Kimberly leaned one arm on the counter for balance and tried to remember one of the dozen-and-a-half scenarios she had practiced en route—but promptly forgot them all.
“I wanted to tell you something more about what I was doing, have been doing—what I’ve been working on,” Kimberly corrected herself.
Becca relaxed in the slightest, but Kimberly was sure she still hadn’t convinced her the world wasn’t going to explode into nothing yet.
“You had talked to me awhile back about how I spend my time with Michael.”
“I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“I know. I know.” Kimberly raised a hand in an attempt to wave off Becca’s concerns. She lowered her gaze, staring at Becca’s knees, not sure she could even look her in the eye. “I’d told you that I’ve been trying to write a cookbook for decades. Honestly, it’s the number one question I get when I have interviews. ‘When are you going to write a cookbook? We all want to see a cookbook by Kim Burns. When will that happen?’”
Kimberly rolled her eyes. Becca waited silently. Kimberly was sure it was because she was rambling and Becca likely had no idea where the conversation was even remotely headed.
“Anyway, to make a long story short and because I shared with you at one point, it wasn’t until you brought up my interactions with Michael that it hit me. I needed to write a cookbook for normal people who do normal things, like try to cook with their toddlers underfoot. People who want easy meals that don’t take a lot of effort, because let’s face it, who doesn’t have an insanely busy life as of late?”
“Sounds like you have a good plan,” Becca interjected before Kimberly could finish.
Becca’s seeming lack of interest in the conversation put Kimberly on edge. She wasn’t quite sure where it was coming from, but it bothered her deeply. The dismissive tone in Becca’s voice left her reeling, grasping for strings. “I thought it might interest you, since you had such an influence in it.”
“It doesn’t really.”
Taken aback, Kimberly sat up straighter. “I’m sorry, then. I won’t bother you with it anymore.”
Becca made to move, but Kimberly grabbed her wrist and tugged her back around. She had a sinking feeling that there was something else going on, much like the other night. There was a disconnect between the two of them, a chasm rapidly widening. She’d thoug
ht a few days away would clear both their minds. She knew it certainly had done her wonders.
“Did I do something to tick you off?” Kimberly asked, anger lacing her own tone, as much as she tried to keep it out and keep herself grounded. “Because you’re treating me like dirt.”
“I’m treating you like dirt? That’s lofty coming from you.”
Shaking her head in confusion, Kimberly tried to backtrack. “I—I’m sorry. I don’t understand.”
“Michael had a good weekend. Bradley was here on time every evening. We worked more on reading and writing. He can write all his letters now in upper case. Next, we’ll work on lower case.”
“I don’t need a list of the shit you did with my son,” Kimberly spat, pulling her eyebrows tightly together in anger. Her jaw tensed as she planned for another attack. “I know you take good care of him. I wouldn’t have hired you otherwise.”
“You didn’t hire me. Kiddie Academy sent me. You didn’t have a choice in the matter.”
Coming to stand, Kimberly crossed her arms and kept her distance from Becca. “Excuse me?”
“You didn’t hire me because you had a choice. You hired me because I was your last resort.”
“How do you even know that?”
“They told me. You think they’d really send me to a house that has had someone new in here at least once a month for two years and not tell me something was going on? I’ve worked with them for years, longer than almost any other nanny. I am the one they send to their problem children.”
“Problem children?” Offense rang through tone as her head jerked in surprise. “I’m a problem child.”
“Apparently. I don’t dictate that. I just come in and fix the problem.”
“Fix the problem. Good Lord.” Kimberly ran her hands over her face and through her hair. She spun around to face the counter, bracing her hands on the cool granite to keep her centered. She didn’t want to say anything she regretted. She had wanted this to be a time when she shared something good with Becca, something Becca had done that she may not have fully realized her impact about. Struggling to hold her tongue, Kimberly turned back around. “What’s gotten into you?”
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