by A. K. Koonce
Then he says what I never expect. He always does.
“Show me.”
I must be fucking crazy. Or all that Rosen Lighton drank has finally taken away his last thriving brain cell. Because I could have sworn he just asked me to fuck his friend in front of him.
“What?” I shrink back a little, unsure what the standard reaction is to a situation like this.
“You want Rotter. You do, I’m not an idiot. Kais wants you…and so do I. If this is going to be an ongoing thing with us all, I need to know now, before it gets any worse for me, if I can take it. I’m not Kais, and I’m not Rotter. I’m not good at hiding all the shit that suffocates me. This—this confusing thing the four of us are doing—it’s suffocating me.”
I’ve never hated myself more than I do right now for hurting him.
“I like you, Light.”
Those dark eyes of his brighten like gold shining beneath a clear stream.
“And that’s why I’m not going to play this weird fucking game. If I need to stay away from all three of you, then…”
Then what? That’s what I’ll do? Yeah, even my constantly soaked panties know that’s a lie.
“Kais is my friend. I trust him. I trust you. I’m an adult, and I want to know what my limits are.” Lighton’s serious tone is unsettling.
I don’t like this.
“You want to know if you can stand to watch me make her come?” Kais’s arms fold, his eyebrow arching at his friend while my pulse dives down so low it drops just between my thighs at the simple suggestion of Kais making me come.
Lighton’s eyes widen at the bluntness of that statement, and his lips part without sound, staying like that until he looks like he swallowed a bug rather than the brutally honest words Kais just spoke.
I feel like we just volleyed this idea around the room over and over again, and I’m just now starting to understand the logic of it.
Lighton would rather get hurt now before his heart’s in it.
Suddenly I feel the same way. So I do the one thing that feels just as crazy as Lighton himself.
I agree with him.
Twelve
Kais
My heart’s pounding so loudly in my ears that I never actually hear what she says. Whatever she said causes her bright green eyes to pool with big inky pupils as she looks from Lighton to me.
It happens slowly. And it’s surprisingly she who makes the first move.
Her small feet trail over the rug with hesitant but assured steps. The sway of her hips is all I can think about even as she steps right up to me and slides her fingers through my blond hair, locking on to me and drawing my attention down to her.
This. Is. A. Bad. Fucking. Idea.
So of course, I embrace it head on like I do all terrible decisions.
My palms start high on her delicate body, squeezing to feel every one of her ribs beneath her thin white night gown as my touch grazes at the slowest possible pace down her sides. She trembles slightly, watching me as I watch everything I’m doing to her.
And I’m just getting started.
Soft lips press to mine, tormenting me with the chaste feel of her mouth against mine.
I want to fuck her so hard my name is the only thing she’ll be able to think of for weeks.
But I don’t. I’m careful with her. Slow. Timid. I let her guide my pace, let her slide her tongue gently over mine until my fingers dig into her skin from how hard I’m trying to control myself.
When she sucks the tip of my tongue hard enough to feel the sensation right in my cock, I snap. I push her back until her legs hit the bed, and when she goes down, I go down right along with her. My mouth never leaves her, my firm hold on her only releases to brace our fall, and then I’m right back on her, touching her and discovering every single part of her body before she finds her rational mind and tells me to fuck right the hell off.
She doesn’t though. If anything, her thigh hitches higher, her leg wrapping around me until the bulge in my jeans is pressed firmly to the heat between her legs.
Fuck.
An uneven breath pushes desperately from my lungs when my lips leave her, pressing over and over again along her soft, smooth skin. My tongue barely flicks over her neck before my teeth are scraping there too, doing it over and over until her shuddering gasps turn to a moan, her hips grinding against my cock like she’s ridden it a thousand times.
This. This is most definitely what a bad idea feels like.
Because it feels too good.
I won’t fuck her though. Partly because I’m not a complete asshole to do that to Light and partly…because I know how to be used. I’m good at being used.
If this is real—a real thing between her and me—I have no fucking idea how to do that.
And yet, I’m not stopping.
My body moves over hers, feeling every soft part of her before settling low, my breath meeting her stomach. The way her big innocent eyes hold mine shouldn’t make my dick hard. But it does. I keep my focus on that innocence as I push my palms slowly up her body, shoving aside the white material with a leisurely pace.
If she realizes what a terrible idea this is, she doesn’t show it. Smooth soft curves skim under my fingertips, and that sexy body of hers shivers beneath mine with every move I make.
My jaw clenches as I think about just how much I could make her tremble beneath me if I’d let myself. My tongue slides across my lower lip just before I press a gentle open-mouthed kiss to her skin, tasting her perfection with a long slow stroke of my tongue. Lower I dip my head, holding her gaze as I kiss below her naval, her hip, the fabric at the top of her red panties.
One by one, my fingers grip the thin elastic of her underwear, realizing how easy it’d be to rip them away and have her spread beneath me.
A pulse of want throbs within me.
I want her more than I want myself, I think.
Maybe that’s why I need her so much.
And that’s why I can’t have her.
Because I need her.
My dick shoves all that logic aside, and my body gives in. The wide flat of my tongue slides up the center of her soft panties, taking my time, sucking hard at the very top and loving the way she thrusts against my mouth.
The groan that shakes through me at the sweet taste of her drowns out her whimper.
I drag my palms down her thighs, trailing the fabric of her panties down her legs in one slow motion. I toss them aside, and I’m planted right between her thighs in a matter of seconds. I want to slowly tease her, and I want to taste her right now all at the same time.
My determination to make her scream when she comes wins out, and I press a soft, breathy kiss at the inside of her thigh. Hips squirm beneath me, my palms stroking there on her smooth skin and bringing my attention to the faintest blue bruises there. Bruises…
From Rotter.
He was rough with her, and I’m treating her like a fucking flower.
Shit. Am I able to do this?
My teeth sink into the soft flesh of her smooth thigh, and she gasps a shaking breath, her fingers threading through my hair so fast that it hurts when she grips ahold of me.
“Kais,” she whispers.
Fuck, all I want is for her to say that over and over again. I’m torturing myself more than I am her right now.
Finally, my mouth covers her fully, my tongue sliding all the way down and then all the way back up just to swirl hard over her sensitive spot at the top. I devour the sweet taste of her just like that for several moments, loving the sounds she forces herself not to release while she moves beneath me like she’s fucking me more than I’m fucking her.
And then she stops.
Her eyes flinging open, her breath slipping out in shaking heaps.
“Lighton.” Her gaze lands somewhere behind me, and I know she’s looking at him.
Watching him and thinking about him while thrusting her hips against me.
Fuck. The conflicting feelings inside me are a m
ixture of lust and anger.
Both of them cloud my judgement as I slide two fingers into her so hard she moans. My palm curves with the firm grinding way my fingers fuck her, my mouth sealing over her clit and sucking so hard her fingers grip my hair like she’ll never let me leave this blissful place between her thighs.
“Light,” she moans.
Livid lust burns through me. My teeth rake over her clit, skimming and nipping along her sex until she’s trembling beneath me.
But it’s not enough.
“Light, this is okay, right?” Her beautiful breathy tone cuts away with another uncontrollable spasm of her body.
“Yeah, baby, this is…this is really good.” Lighton’s voice is a gravelly groan that catches my attention and is the first thing to distract me from how much I want Madison.
My eyes open in an instant to find her palm wrapped around his cock, their lips locked together while she strokes him in time to the way I’m working her with my hand.
A throbbing tingle of energy pulses through my dick, and the only thing that makes my sudden anger feel better is making her feel better. I suck harder, palm grinding harder, fucking her harder and harder and harder.
Until her wetness drips down my fingers, her sweet, salty orgasm filling my mouth with every slow stroke of my tongue. I never stop, not even when her back arches, her head tipping back away from him and into the mattress.
And she screams my name.
Mine.
I take everything she gives to me. I want it. I want every part of her: her cries, her moans, her whimpers, all those sexy fucking sounds she’s making right now.
She settles and sits up slowly, dragging me up her body by my shirt collar just to slam her lips to mine. My cock gets even harder when her tongue slides over the delicious taste in my mouth. I don’t know why I love that she’s tasting herself, tasting what I gave to her.
When her small hand slides beneath my shirt, raking her nails down the hard planes of my chest before dipping low, stroking my thickness beneath my jeans, I suddenly pull back from her.
At first, she’s just looking up at me with big, confused eyes.
I glance to Light, but he isn’t paying attention to us. The discarded, black silky gown Madison picked out today fills his hand. And then he wipes his fucking cock with it.
I swear he’d clean up with a fucking curtain if it were the only thing in reach.
But she’s still watching me. Waiting.
My throat bobs painfully, and I hate the hurt in her eyes right now.
I just don’t know how to be what she wants. This is a test. I know a test when I see it. It’s a test to see if we’re okay with this strange four-way relationship we’ve messily built around ourselves.
Lighton passed the test but I don’t even know how to take the test.
The issue isn’t Lighton and Rotter. It’s me.
I don’t even love myself; how the fuck am I supposed to love this beautiful woman the way she deserves?
“I have to go.” I pull back from her on stiff steps, her hands slipping away lifelessly.
Her eyebrows lower over her shining eyes, and the very first thing she does is cover herself up. She hides her body from me like she’s not even sure how the two of us ended up in such a revealing situation to begin with.
“What the fuck?” Light’s jeans are still unbuttoned, his shaggy blond hair pushed in all directions while his shirt lies lost among the scattered clothes on the floor.
He looks every bit like the crazed March Hare Madison told me about.
And he’s the one who’s okay in all of this. He’s the understanding one right now.
Fuck me.
Thirteen
Madison
The click of the door closing seems to echo on forever. It circles my mind like haunting background music to the scared look in Kais’s eyes.
He didn’t want any of this. We started this to see if Lighton could handle it, to see if I could handle it.
But it wasn’t either one of us who broke under the pressure.
It was Kais.
Lighton lingers at the edge of the bed, his palm pushing slowly through his long locks.
I feel…heartbroken, and that’s pathetic because the traitor of Wanderlust most definitely doesn’t own my heart.
My orgasm maybe.
Okay, he definitely owns my orgasm.
A big palm pushes down my bare spine.
“You okay?” Light asks quietly. I lean into him, and his arms wraps me up in his strength, pulling me to his chest so I don’t have to feel so completely weighted in this moment.
“I’m okay.” I breathe those simple words out on the heaviest breath I possess. “Are you?” I tilt my head until my lips are so close to his, studying the bright gold and dark flecks in his hooded eyes.
“I mean…I feel fucking great, but I know that now’s probably not the time to say it.” The corner of his lips tilt, and his smile alone makes me feel slightly better.
How does he do that?
His mouth brushes slowly over mine, and I can’t help but lean into the feel of his affection. It feels painfully right to be in his arms. To feel his body against mine. I just can’t help it.
I pull back a fraction of an inch. “I’m still mad at you,” I whisper.
“Don’t I fuckin’ know it,” he says just before kissing me slowly. I want nothing more than to let him hold me and kiss me until I don’t feel the gaping hole in my chest anymore, but he pulls away all too soon. “I have to go, though. Time is of the…credence.” He pauses, narrowing his eyes like that statement feels a little off, but he just shakes his head and seems to ignore it. “Wear the leather pants.” He stands and tosses the offensive tight leather at my feet.
I can practically hear the sound of my thighs rubbing together as I walk, and I haven’t even put the damn things on yet.
I say nothing, simply glaring a disgusted hole through the black pants resting on the blanket.
“I’ll meet you at Rotter’s trial,” he says, opening the door slightly. “Kais might be a total mess, but he’d never let you join a celebration in this place without him.”
“A celebration?”
“Yeah. They get very little genuine entertainment. They’ll drag out this trial like it’s fucking Judge Judy.”
He pauses and watches me for several seconds, and when I don’t respond, he slips out, the door clicking closed quietly.
The sound of my heart becoming faster and faster is all I hear for a long time. It takes away the quietness. It takes away my breath.
It consumes everything.
Because if that’s the way they treat a simple trial, how are they going to act during the Alice Games?
The makeshift courtroom is a bit more laid back than I expected.
Dozens of Elders sit in the deep green grassy plateau. Two of them have white papers scattered all in front of them as they sit cross-legged together on the ground. Rotter sits in a chair placed in the middle of them all as if he might begin story time at any moment. He sits with perfect posture, one leg thrown over the other, while he looks from one person to the next.
“That chair won’t allow him to tell a lie,” Cat tells me, and the thought alone of Alixx not telling a lie is unbelievable.
That chair must be the most powerful damn thing in the entire realm to make Alixx Stone an honest man.
Finally, someone speaks up.
“On this countless day in the kingdom of Wonderland, one Alixx ‘The Rotter’ Elijah Stone is to stand trial for the following: three counts of assault on an Elder, breaking and entering, escaping exile in the first degree, and one previous count of attempted murder of one Kais St. Croix.”
What. The. Fuck? Alixx Stone’s criminal history is longer than my academic accomplishments.
“How do you plead, Mr. Stone?” The man in only a pair of jeans and black rimmed glasses peers up at Alixx.
A smile tips Alixx’s lips in the most pleased way. Hearing hi
s crimes obviously makes him very proud.
The idiot.
“It seems you’ve forgotten that little incident on the third day of October when I propositioned your mother. Or was it the fourth…”
Why is he like this?
“That will be enough talk of my mother,” shirtless man with the ridiculous abs says. Really, why on earth is he shirtless for the trial? If American law was like this, there’d be a whole lot more crimes committed by lonely housewives.
And me probably.
“I just want to make sure you have all the facts, Elder Corben. She was a screamer if I remember correctly.”
“Enough.”
But Alixx keeps going.
“Didn’t care for anal. Me not her. She enjoyed it. The second time.”
Every uncomfortably true word he adds only makes the crazed look in Corben’s eyes worse and worse.
“Would he just shut up?” I whisper mostly to myself.
“Not a chance,” Cat murmurs.
Kais’s arm brushes mine, his lips skimming my ear just before his breath does. “As if he’d miss an opportunity to press someone’s buttons. Now is no different. Rotter’s done his research though. Even from prison, he always knows what makes people tick.”
He’s a genius and an idiot all at the same time.
“Lighton’s back.” The warmth of his hand presses low on my back, and he starts to guide me through the crowd to where Lighton stands in the morning sunlight. Beams of golden colors shine along his messy blond hair that’s tied back from his strong features.
A tangled feeling of excitement and pain twists together in my stomach when he smiles at me.
He apologized. He’s helping me. He’s trying.
I’m just not ready to trust him yet.
And I hate that.
The moment Lighton’s fingertips skim my arm, Alixx’s voice echoes loud and clear. “I’d like to speak with my council since none has been provided for me.”
“You represent yourself, Mr. Stone. We don’t give council here for anyone.” Corben couldn’t be smugger if he had his own your mama joke to spew back at Alixx.