The train slowed down until it came to a complete stop.
“You’ll be thrown a rope, just be sure to not let go when it comes,” Quist said, walking out as the doors opened. “I’ll see you at work, have a goodnight, Ren.”
“Goodnight,” he replied back as the doors closed and the train continued on its journey.
If you’re out there, I’ll find you.
ChapteR 13
The silvery moon stood glaring at the planet in the midst of the many stars decorating the sky. Not a single cloud was visible to hinder the radiance, raining down from the skyward podium. The ethereal audience watched the tired world, that was ready to lay down and sleep. Kaori, who sat by her window, in her room, looked up at the sky, counting the stars, and Ren who stood at his window in his room, after deciding to take a break from drawing, did the same.
Their eyes enjoyed and admired the same stars and the same moon, although they were in different cities and different rooms. Even though they were so far apart, it was as if they appreciated the same dark ether, that encapsulated the Earth, together. It was like, they were bound by a single thread that stretched across the planet to tie them to one another. One that would carry the presence of the other, no matter the distance and no matter the hindrance. It was one that would carry one’s feelings beyond time and space.
I wonder… his thought vibrated across the string that bound him to her, do soulmates really exist? He reached out to touch the sky that seemed so close and delicate.
I’m not sure, Kaori thought, believing that it wasn’t just something out of a fairytale. But I hope so, she thought, withdrawing her hand after realising how distant the sky truly was.
Somehow I hope so too, he replied, failing to realise that he was responding to another person’s voice in his head.
Huh? she quickly drew her eyes away from the calm sky, to the darkness around her, wondering if the voice she heard came from an unexpected guest in her room.
What! He realised that he was hearing a girl speak. She was so close she might as well be standing right next to him, whispering into his ears.
Ah! she squirmed, startled by the intrusive voice, covering her mouth as to not squeak.
Who’s there? He frowned.
Um… Kaori, she said with an unsure smile.
Oh great, he began, letting out a sigh and lowering his head onto his palm. I’ve started to hear voices, which means I’ve finally lost my mind, he looked up at the sky seeking pity and sympathy.
Hey, she poked her tongue into her cheek, I’m not a figment of your imagination, I am my own person, thank you very much. She leaned out of the window as though she was ready to scream.
Oh, that’s a relief. Kaori, was it? He accepted the fact that he was hearing another person’s voice in his head. You can hear my thoughts, right?
Yeah, and you can hear mine, she replied, looking up at the sky, allowing herself to relax and take in the situation she shared with him. However, as she gazed up at the starry cosmos a thought crossed her mind, which it did for Ren too, who was sitting in inside her head, observing her mental activity while she did the same to him.
Which means… Their ears grew warm and they looked about unsure where to leave their eyes. A flush slowly crept into their faces, with a faint tingle tickling on their neck. The hope that they’d met their soulmate sat comfortably inside their minds.
Oh I’m just—Ren began, scratching the back of his neck as he tried to hide the notion that gently floated in his mind.
Yeah, um—it’s getting late, Kaori said, interrupting him and trying her best to change the subject. And I need to get up early tomorrow.
Oh right, me too, he replied. So, uh, goodnight.
Yeah, goodnight, she said awkwardly. After a moment of silence, the two of them quickly retreated from the windows to their beds. Kaori threw herself on the soft mattress, while Ren sat with a soft smile hiding behind his baffled expression.
While face down on her pillow, she screamed and kicked, trying her best to let out her boiling excitement.
I wonder if he is—she stopped, hugging the pillow as she curled herself up into a ball.
Yeah… I’m still here, he said, letting her know that her thoughts were still being broadcasted to him.
Oh, uh… she covered her mouth. I guess it doesn’t work like I’d hoped.
Yeah, I guess not, he replied, knowing exactly what she meant.
After a while of them trying their best to stop every train of thought, effectively keeping radio silence, they stopped hearing one another.
ChapteR 14
Kaori? Ren thought, opening his eyes and waking up in a new day. He propped himself up and looked out of the window that bathed in the sun’s morning light. I wonder if she is the same girl I’m seeing in my dreams, he thought, hoping that he could finally find the girl who’d dominated his thoughts.
I wonder if I’ll ever hear her voice again. He sat up on his bed. His thoughts melted away as he proceeded with his mundane routine before school. After a short delay, he appeared in the kitchen, wearing his uniform.
“Good morning,” he said, sitting down at the table.
“Good morning,” his family replied.
“Ren, you look terrible,” Gin said, looking at his son.
“Have you been sleeping alright?” Hima asked, noticing the bags under his eyes.
“Wow, you look like you’ve been hit by a truck,” Kena uttered, examining her brother’s face.
“No I haven’t, not for the last few days at least,” Ren revealed, while omitting the reason for his sleep deprivation. “Being hit by a truck is a bit of an exaggeration, don’t you think?”
“Something on your mind?” Hima leaned closer, wondering what was keeping him up.
“Not really,” he replied, with a shallow smile.
“Still having those strange dreams?” she persisted with raised eyebrows.
“Yeah,” he answered. Realising that she wasn’t going to stop asking, he began to eat faster.
“Maybe—” before she could continue Gin said his goodbyes and left for work. “Maybe you’ll meet your soulmate in one of those dreams.”
Ren remained silent. With a serious amount of effort, he held a fork and ate.
“Your father and I used to see each other every night when we were your age,” she added.
Mom, did you ever hear his voice when you weren’t dreaming? Ren wanted to ask, but for some reason swallowed it back down. He finished his breakfast and put away his dishes, leaving his sister and mother to chat about soulmates and dreams at the table as he escaped into his room. He picked up his open notebook and gazed at the drawing. The girl who so wonderfully stood frozen in it, evoked so many questions.
Is her name Kaori? He scrutinised her delicate facial features and tender skin. A sigh left his lips as he closed the book and put it into his bag. “I’m leaving now,” he announced.
“Wait for me,” Kena cried from the kitchen, and stuffed her face with her remaining breakfast. She quickly got up from the table, still chewing her food, and raced into her room. Ren was only left to wait a moment before she reappeared with all of her things at the door.
“Okay, we’re leaving now,” they chanted escaping through the door.
“Have fun at school!” Hima said.
“Ren?” Kena asked as they left the apartment building.
“Yes?” he replied, nonchalantly.
“Why are you going to school so early?” she looked up at him, hoping that it would have something to do with the breakfast-table talk.
“Thought I could use a nice walk,” he revealed, fronting a smile. They walked through the sea of people together.
“You’re walking to school?” she asked, pausing to examine him more closely. “That’s a bit far, isn’t it?”
“Don’t worry, we’ll walk to the station by your school and then I’ll take the train from there,” he explained, looking up at the urban towers that stretched up to the sky, ne
arly scraping it.
“Okay,” she said, following her brother. The pair of them wandered through the city and admired the familiar scenery as though everything had been newly renovated.
“Kena,” Ren uttered, looking up at the sky. “I thought about what you said.”
“Yeah?” she raised her brows, tilting her head to the side.
“It would be lonely if you met your soulmate in a dream,” he began. “And woke up with nothing but the strange feeling that you’ve lost something.”
“Yeah, sometimes I think about it and I feel like I don’t want to meet my soulmate if I’m going to repeatedly forget them,” she looked down at her feet. “I think it’d make me very sad.”
“You’d give up on meeting your soulmate completely?”
“I don’t know, maybe,” she said, looking up. “But at the same time, I think it would be the most beautiful thing—to see them and talk to them.”
“I think so too,” he murmured with a soft smile.
They continued walking for a little bit more until they parted ways at the station near her school. Ren was left standing at the platform, wondering if he’d ever hear Kaori’s voice again.
ChapteR 15
What’s his name? Kaori thought, sitting up on her bed at the curb of her mind. Filled with wonder, she looked up at the ceiling that was painted with the sun’s welcoming glare. Is he the same boy as the one I’m seeing in my dreams? She asked herself, hoping that her assumptions were true, that she had gotten a little bit closer to finding him.
However, the warm sensation of being a little closer to meeting her soulmate disappeared as she wondered if she’d ever hear the voice of the mysterious boy who invaded her thoughts again.
I wonder what his name is… she thought, enjoying a nice pleasant seat next to her inward speculation. The thought quickly blurred and vanished as her phone sang her alarm, vibrating on her bedside.
She picked it up and switched off the annoying sound, and then got out of her covers. Somehow, an unshakeable feeling seeped in—a worry that would not be easily extinguished. The anxiety that sat, weighing down on her chest, was her fear of never meeting the boy she only held vague memories of. Something about him drew her to him. She didn’t know what, but that was as good as any reason to hope they’d find each other.
She pushed her thoughts out of her head and rose from her bed.
“Good morning,” Kaori said, appearing in the kitchen in her usual uniform.
“Good morning,” Aiko replied, already sitting at the table and enjoying her breakfast. “How’d you sleep?”
“Pretty alright,” Kaori uttered, while serving herself a portion of the present breakfast menu.
“You sure?” Aiko took a closer look at her daughter. “How are you?”
“I’m sure,” Kaori replied, trying her best to put up a facade in front of her fears and worries. “I’m fine, really,” she added, performing a below-average grin.
“Kaori,” Aiko said, looking intently at her. “I’m your mother, not an idiot.”
“C’mon, I’m fine, really,” Kaori repeated, trying to be more convincing than the first time.
“If you’re set on sticking with that story,” Aiko began, letting out a heavy sigh. “Then I won’t question you, but if there’s something on your mind, something you want to get off your chest, then I’m all ears.”
“I’ll remember that,” Kaori said, accepting her mother’s support. “But, I’m okay.”
“Okay, I need to go to work, but I’ll be see you in the evening,” Aiko said, excusing herself from the table and putting away her dishes. She walked around the table and kissed her daughter on her head. “The world is not ending just yet, you’ve got plenty of time.” Her mother’s words dripped from her lips one after another and remained even after she left the room to get ready for work.
Kaori was left at the table, her hand barely steadied her fork. With a deep hole in her chest, she ate breakfast, alone.
“Have fun at school, sweetie!” Aiko said, closing the apartment door behind her.
“Bye!” Kaori chanted.
The apartment was left in silence with only one person under its roof. Sitting at the table, she felt a thickness in her throat and some sort of longing. It wasn’t that she longed for company, but rather she yearned for something as simple as a name that had failed to appear in her memories, for the one who it belonged to had failed to speak it.
After finishing her breakfast, she rose to her feet, clearing the table and then leaving the kitchen.
What’s his name? She wondered as she prepared herself for school. Her question was left unanswered as she walked out of the apartment in silence, closing the door behind her. She began making her way to school, underneath the warm glow of the solar star that seemed to sag.
The walk to school was soothing, even though she took the same route and passed the same buildings and saw pretty much the same students walking alongside her. Even through all of the familiarity and mundaneness, she enjoyed every step she took, as well as the architecture that she’d never had thought of admiring.
The stillness of the world and the fears in her heart remained side by side, however, it wasn’t pain she felt, but rather, solitude. It was as though the delicate thread that bound her to him had broken and she was left without a name or a second chance.
“Good morning, Kaori,” Nora and Mei chanted from the usual crossing they met up at.
“Good morning,” Kaori replied, appearing next to them at the red traffic lights.
“Kaori, I’m sorry!” Nora exclaimed, bowing her head. “I didn’t mean to spring the festival concert on you like that.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry too,” Mei said, following her lead.
“Oh, don’t worry about it,” Kaori smiled blankly at them.
“So you’ll still play?” Nora asked, looking up expectantly.
“Of course. You need a pianist, so I’ll play,” Kaori said. The thought of actually performing hadn’t yet settled in. She was far too busy with her mental paralysis.
“Thank goodness,” Nora uttered. “I thought you might change your mind.”
“Yeah, me too,” Mei said, rising from her prostrated pose.
“Anyway, I have good news,” Nora announced as the traffic lights turned green and invited the trio to cross.
“You can choose any piece to perform,” she added.
“Really?” Kaori raised her brows at the unexpected perk.
“Yeah, you’re really saving our skin, because we’re trying to showcase a series of different instruments,” Nora explained as they walked.
“Okay, sure, I’ll tell you when I’ve picked a piece,” Kaori replied, feeling a little bit of excitement firing in her nerves. The feeling disappeared as she found herself at school, daydreaming about the voice she heard and the dreams that she kept experiencing. Everything was drowned out by her reverie, the teacher’s voice as he taught in class and the faint strokes of the graphite pencils as her classmates took notes.
What’s his name? Kaori wondered, looking down at her notebook and penciling out the letters that formed her inquiry. The still symbols stood etched into the paper as she gazed at them, knowing that an answer would be impossible without actually talking to him.
I wonder if I’ll ever hear his voice again. She wrote down a single word, underneath her question. ‘Soulmate.’ Her pencil stopped as though to review the engraving that it had made.
It’s Ren. As for the other thing, this speaks for itself, I guess, uttered a voice in her head.
“What?” Kaori frowned.
My name is Ren… he explained, trying to be more obvious.
“Ah!” she squirmed, covering her mouth with her hand.
“Kaori!” Mei and Nora quickly turned to her.
“Is everything alright?” Mr Banson asked, looking concerned at the girl who had let out such a high screech.
“Oh… uh… yeah,” Kaori sunk into her chair, realising that the en
tire class was looking at her. “I’m fine.”
“O—kay, well then…” Mr Banson said, trying to continue the lesson.
How long have you been listening to my thoughts? Kaori asked.
I don’t know, not long, Ren replied nonchalantly, sitting in his own classroom and paying as little attention to Miss Flois as she did to Mr Banson.
What did you hear? Her eyes narrowed.
Not too much, just bits and pieces, he replied.
What did you hear? She asked, more forcefully.
Just the part where you were thinking about what my name was and— he explained.
And? she persisted.
And the part about whether or not we’d ever talk again. He added.
I want to die! She thought, sinking further.
It’s not that embarrassing, he thought, trying to assure her that her thoughts weren’t too incriminating. It could have been worse.
But still! She was unable to rid herself of her flushed expression and her desire to hide somewhere.
“Anyway, what do you have right now?” he asked, changing the subject. “I have Literature.”
“Mmm… I have English,” she replied.
They spoke for a little bit. Their conversation was pleasant, but short-lived. Filled with comments and subtle jokes, although amusing, neither one thought of asking the other where they were or which school they went to. All of their past worries and fears somehow faded into the back of their minds, and all that remained was the threadlike connection that bound them to one another.
ChapteR 16
The world was tinted by the violet sky as it stretched across the atmosphere forming an ethereal ceiling. Faint rose-tinted clouds sailed across the deep purple curtain. The cool hue kissed every surface and caressed every shadow in order to fully wrap the world in its peaceful fabric.
Underneath the cloak of night was a still marine-blue sea that gently flowed amidst the rugged mountain-like islands that stood erect above sea level. The peaks and ridges of the jagged hills adopted the pink glow of the clouds.
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