by Kathryn Shay
“Hello.”
“Nick?”
“Amanda?”
“Yes.”
“Where are you?”
“At Stapleton Airport.”
She could hear his slight gasp of surprise. “Wonderful. I’m glad you’re cutting short your holiday. When do you get to Syracuse?”
“Well, that’s a good question.” She started to giggle. Oh, God, she was getting punchy.
Nick hesitated, then asked, “Honey, are you all right?” His voice lowered to that deep, familiar timbre it had when he was touching her. “I’ve missed you.”
Amanda felt the warmth of his admission curl through her. “I’ve missed you, too.”
“What’s happened?”
Alternating between laughter and anger, she gave him an edited version, leaving out Craig’s revelation.
When she was done, he swore colorfully. “Why do these men think they can do this to you?”
There was a long pause from her end. “Because they always have, Nick. I’ve always let them.”
This time, the silence came from him. She never expected the chuckle that followed. “I find that very hard to believe, Amanda Carson. It’s certainly not a trait of the feisty woman I know.”
She felt as if a hundred-pound weight had been removed from her shoulders. “It isn’t, is it?” Amanda’s response was slightly breathless.
Nick’s voice got even huskier. “No. And I want the woman I know to come back here. Come home to me, sweetheart, as soon as you can.”
o0o
Nick slid his hand around the back of the couch just to feel Amanda’s skin again. He hadn’t been able to stop touching her since he’d picked her up for dinner before a New Year’s Eve celebration at Beth’s.
He’d splurged on La Belle Gourmand, a fancy restaurant that Tony had recommended and gotten them a reservation there. As he’d sat across from her and watched her white teeth sink into a plump shrimp, he’d wondered how he would keep himself in check. The thought had plagued him the entire evening, as the gold of her one-piece outfit shimmered around her. Every time she moved, the slinky material glided over her body. When he caught a whiff of her perfume, it reminded him of dim bedrooms and satin sheets. And now, when she curled into his hand, her soft nape rubbing against his callused palm, he wondered if he had the strength to control himself. He wanted to be her guide and partner through a journey of discovery into her sensuality, but to do it he had to rein in his libido.
Beth snagged his attention when she sat down across from them. “I can’t believe you came,” she said to her brother. Then, facing Amanda, she smiled. “I have you to thank, for that and a lot of other things.”
Amanda’s face flushed becomingly at the praise and Nick settled his hand on her shoulder. Would everything about her always please him so much?
Just enjoy the night. No one’s ever talked in terms of a future.
He leaned forward to catch the end of his sister’s comment. “How long did you wait for a flight?” Beth asked.
Amanda laughed and threaded her hand through her hair. “Thirty-six hours. But it was worth it to get back here early.”
Beth beamed and Nick realized his sister thought that Amanda was referring to being able to spend New Year’s Eve with him. She was, however, indicating her relief at escaping from her father and Craig Coleman. Damn those bastards.
As he watched her talk to Beth, he toyed with her hair, loving its familiar texture, thinking about the day and a half it had taken her to get back to New York. He’d worried about her all night, and in the twilight hours just before the sun rose, he’d come to the conclusion that Amanda Carson needed gentle, careful handling or her fragile ego would be bruised. And he didn’t intend to be another addition to the list of men who wanted her as a trophy, cared nothing about her needs and squelched the independence that she craved. Those were the very qualities that he admired in her, and he intended to nurture them.
Nick was distracted when she reached over and touched his knee in an unconscious caress. “I slept for fourteen hours straight when I got home yesterday. I think it was the best night’s rest I’ve had in years.”
As the evening wore on and they mingled with the other guests, Nick felt Amanda gravitate toward him physically. She would sidle up to him in a group, inviting him to sneak his arm around her waist. He’d gently massage the slender indentation there and tug her a little closer. Once, when one of Beth’s bookstore friends became overly eager and snaked his arm around Amanda’s shoulder, she politely eased from under his grip and stood behind Nick so that his body half shielded her from the other man. He could feel her breasts against the back of his arm and his biceps tightened in response. Sensing it, she’d swayed into him and rested her cheek briefly against his jacket. He swore he could feel the satiny smoothness of her skin straight through the wool. He was ready to turn and throw her over his shoulder fireman-carry style, stalk from the room, find any dark, private place and bury himself in her warmth. Though the notion was appealing, he knew he could never behave in such a Neanderthal way with her because of her past. And because of his. Loss of control was one thing he could not have in his life. Instead, he had pulled her around and hugged her tightly.
“Are you staying until midnight, Nicky?” Beth asked.
He shook his head, ready for the protest from his possessive sibling. But it never came. Arching an eyebrow, Beth quipped, “Got a private party planned?”
Nick looked to Amanda for confirmation. He hadn’t told her much beyond Beth’s party. She stared at him for a moment, then smiled slightly with her mouth but her eyes were glowing with sexual intensity. He read all sorts of age-old, male-female messages in them.
His own eyes never left Amanda’s. “Looks like we do, Bethy. Looks like we do.”
o0o
They reached her house at eleven-thirty. Nick brought champagne that had cooled in the car. Popping it with ease, he filled the two fluted glasses Amanda had placed on the table in the room that faced the backyard. She could see snow falling softly beyond him, the delicate flakes a latticework against the trees. Her favorite soft jazz crooned in the background and a fire burned cozily in the hearth, but her senses were mostly attuned to the man before her. His navy jacket accented the broadness of his back. She loved the way he touched her with his large, work-roughened hands. The way his eyes smoldered when he looked down her body. The catch in his breath when she’d touched his chest. All of him made her feel utterly feminine.
He’d been staring out at the drifting snow, deep in thought, but he turned when she walked to him, and handed her a glass of champagne. His slate gray eyes glittered with anticipation.
Clinking his glass with hers, he smiled. “If you could have one New Year’s wish, Mandy, one that wasn’t for your kids or your family or for world peace, just for you, Amanda Carson the woman, what would it be?”
Startled by his question, she halted the drink halfway to her lips and was momentarily silenced. How honest could she be?
Reading her mind, he whispered, “You can tell me anything, sweetheart.” His voice was low and husky and he moved a step closer to her.
She held his gaze steadily. “I’d wish—” She broke off and sighed.
Raising his free hand, he stroked the underside of her jaw. “You can tell me.”
Her face full of emotion, she turned her cheek into his palm. “I have told you, Nick. I want to respond completely to a man like a normal woman does.”
“Still think you can’t?”
“Actually, with you, I think I can.”
His eyes never leaving hers, he said, “Amanda, I think I want to know the whole story behind this. Tell me about your marriage.”
“All right.”
He took her by the hand and led her to the couch. With gentle pressure to her shoulders, he sat her down. “Have a few sips of the wine.” After she did, he took the glass from her and set it on the table along with his, sank down beside her and pulled her into the security of his a
rms.
She laid her head on his chest as she began. “Porter is a nice man, but I think the relationship was as dull for him as it was for me. We grew up together, we’d been dating since high school and there was just no spark in anything we did...including sex.”
Sighing, Amanda remembered those early days when she and Porter had had an unimaginative and uninspiring first few years as a couple. “Our sexual problem only got worse. I finally talked to a doctor who gave me reading to do on it. Porter was horrified. He felt it was an invasion of his privacy. When I tried to talk to him about it, to tell him I was...”
“Unsatisfied?”
“Yes,” she admitted. “He told me he’d never had any complaints before.” She looked up at Nick. “Frankly, I was shocked there was a before for him. We’d been engaged all through college and got married right afterward.”
Nick’s grip tightened around her. “So I take it he was your first lover?”
She nodded. “I really did try. Romantic dinners, lacy nightgowns, wine. Nothing worked. He just couldn’t loosen up enough to take my suggestions. I guess Porter approached sex like he did everything else. Clinically. Neatly. At least with me. Finally, I gave up trying. We divorced amicably after seven years.”
When she remained silent, Nick smoothed the heavy hair off her face. “Porter is a fool. He was also wrong to shuffle this off on you. It was his fault.”
“It was partially his fault. And partially mine.”
“Did you ever make love with Coleman?”
She shook her head. “No. I responded to him about as much as I did to Porter. It scared me, though, because that made me believe it was all me.”
“And now?” She could hear the satisfaction in his voice, but confirmed what he seemed to need to hear aloud.
“Now I believe I just hadn’t found the right man.” As she said it, she drew back from him and looked into the face she was beginning to love.
He grinned at her, an elemental, male smile. “Well, a good lawyer always makes sure of his facts.”
She smiled back. “Yes, he does.”
“Shall we run a test case?”
“I think that’s a good idea. To be sure.”
Gently, he guided her onto his lap. “Better access,” he said. She watched his hand open the first five buttons on her dress. Her heartbeat thrummed in her chest and her skin heated up quicker than sand on a summer beach. God, she wanted this. He gazed at her breasts, barely visible through the lace of a black camisole, and she felt her nipples pucker through it.
He brushed his fingertips over them. “Mmm, real solid proof. Real evidence. I love the lingerie. Is the rest of it like this?” he whispered. She could only nod her head. “Can I see?” Again, she gave silent permission.
The silky material of her dress slithered down her body like a waterfall, but his hands ignited every inch of skin he touched. He shifted her slightly and the outfit soon lay at his feet. “God, you’re beautiful. So beautiful and so desirable. I want you, Mandy,” he breathed in her ear.
Sensations bombarded Amanda. The definite hardening of him beneath her almost-bare bottom. His hand teasing away the silk of her bra and cupping her breasts firmly. As she’d done the last time, Amanda arched into him, surprised by the feeling. His other hand cradled her hip. Slowly, he slid his palm up and down, up and down. Amanda wanted more and she squirmed on his lap.
“Careful. Do that again and I might embarrass myself.”
She smiled at his confession. It all felt so good.
But she was soon distracted as he took his hand on yet another expedition. He brought it down the front of her and rested it on the panties that covered her triangle of curls. Carefully, he slid it inside the lace band and down between her legs. He looked her square in the eye as he sank his fingers into her moist warmth. Easing them in and out, he whispered, “Ah, more evidence. See how you respond for me. You’re wet, and getting wetter. Just for me.” He continued the motion for a moment, then removed his hand from its glorious discovery.
She moaned at the loss.
“Oh, God, I love to hear how much you want me.”
“I do, Nick. And it feels wonderful.” After a pause, she added, “I want to touch you, too.”
It was Nick’s turn to moan. He seemed to struggle with the idea, and it took Amanda a moment to realize he was so aroused, he feared her touch. She smiled like a courtesan of ancient times.
“Don’t look at me like that and smile so seductively, or you’ll find yourself on your back in two seconds.”
She couldn’t help repeating the gesture. “Please let me touch you.”
He gritted his teeth. “Go ahead, I’ll take it as long as I can.”
Her hands floated to his body, as if they knew exactly what to do. Actually, they knew exactly what they’d always wanted to do to a man but had never had the chance. She slid off his lap and knelt next to him on the couch. Unbuttoning his shirt, she ran her hands through the springy hair and familiarized herself with the coarse, male feel of it.
“I wanted to do this for a long time. I wanted to know how your skin felt, to touch you here.”
She bent to kiss his breastbone and inhaled his woodsy scent. He jerked at her touch and grabbed her arms, but said nothing. She continued.
Leaning his head back against the couch, he closed his eyes. “I can’t look at you on your knees for me,” he growled hoarsely.
She laughed with growing self-confidence, bent over and placed her mouth on his chest. She kissed her way up to his neck and sucked beneath his jaw. She made her way to his mouth and covered it fully with hers. She devoured him, biting his lip. He groaned again.
“Oh, Nick, this feels so good, to touch you like this, to make you feel like this.”
“You think it feels good?” When she returned to his chest and flicked a nipple with her tongue, he said brokenly, “Damn. Hell. I...”
“You what?” She mimicked the words he’d used when he had her under his control like this a few minutes earlier.
“I...think...I’ve...created a Frankenstein.”
Amanda was awed that he could joke during this love play. In addition to the wonderful, responsive feelings it evoked, she realized that sex could also be fun.
o0o
Later, when Nick jogged down the steps of her house, he felt like the wisest and most foolish man on earth. He’d wound down the encounter with Amanda gently, allowing them both more kisses and caresses until he was sure he couldn’t take any more without taking her. Some God somewhere had given him the strength to stop her gentle assault, despite the demands of his body.
He truly believed it was best for Amanda to take this gradually, to dip her feet into the pool of sensuality in small steps. And he’d been able to convince her that she could respond as enthusiastically as he. What he didn’t know was why he’d done it this way. He could have taken her. He should have taken her. But he didn’t because it was best for her.
One notion haunted him. She’s still out of your league. Best to just enjoy her and not worry about afterward.
But he was slowly coming to fear that he might not be able to ever let her go.
CHAPTER NINE
“Glad we have this chance to talk, Nick.” Nathan Joris reached out his hand to Nick, who shook it firmly and greeted him. Though he’d been clerking here for a semester, this was the first time he’d been called to meet with an important partner. Nick knew what it meant. They’d decided they wanted him in the firm. And he wanted to be here. Today, January third, marked his entrance into the posh world of law and he intended to do everything in his power to stay there.
While Joris answered a call from his secretary, Nick sat down and looked around the offices of Joris, Beach and Stowe. They were a work of art. Located in a high rise in downtown Syracuse, only the best of everything graced the interior of the prestigious law firm. Buttery soft couches were scattered all over the suite and ranged in color from white to teal to conservative brown. Nick ran his hand
across the supple leather that conformed to the body’s shape. Picking up his coffee, he noted how the table was solid wood, finely crafted, cold to the touch and polished to a sheen.
A frown crossed his face as he thought about the last time he was in an office like this one. He’d come to Adam Sherwood to seek a divorce and an uncontested custody agreement. He’d gotten both and he’d also walked away with a promise to himself that someday he would return to one of these firms as a full-fledged lawyer. After his kids, reaching his goal had become the focus of his life, a driving force to succeed. This opportunity was the first step.
Joris hung up the phone. “I apologize for the interruption. It won’t happen again.” He sat behind a teak desk with sleek curves and subtle crannies, the likes of which Nick had never seen. It shouted power, as did everything else here. All of which suited Nick just fine.
“I can’t tell you how pleased we were when you decided to accept our offer to clerk in September.”
Nick relaxed in the chair and held Joris’s eye contact. “I’m interested in this firm, Mr. Joris. I’m pleased you’re interested in me.”
Drumming his fingers on the desktop, the partner perused Nick shrewdly. “Third in your class at Syracuse is top-notch and very attractive. I’m certain you know that. Let’s talk about some changes in your responsibilities here for the next few months, shall we? We want to see your grit, so we’re going to give you meaty work.”
Though his heartbeat sped up, Nick kept his casual pose. “By all means.”
o0o
The day flew by after that. Nick began working with more important clients and some new lawyers. Each time he was introduced as the clerk the firm was courting, his self-esteem rose. Every comment about how glad they were to get him gave him the sense of accomplishment he’d sought for ten long years, proved that he would be able to provide well for Heather and Jason and gave his ego that much-needed boost. He sank into a chair in his cubicle, which was probably bigger and fancier than a full partner’s office in another, less renowned firm, and thought, I’m here to stay.
Over the week, following his interview with Joris, he had to remind himself of his goal, for the escalation in his responsibilities stretched him thin. The first night after the meeting, he’d gotten home at a decent hour, able to spend time with Heather and help Jason with his homework. However, at five o’clock the next evening, a partner entered his office and tossed a folder onto his desk.