Unfortunately, it doesn’t take long for my inner fears to worm their way to the front of my mind.
The second we pass the wrought-iron gate that surrounds the Victorian manor, we embark upon the tree line. Darkhaven is surrounded by forest, and apparently, so are my dreams.
Correction: nightmare. It was a nightmare, not a dream or a vision or anything prophetic. Vampires have bad dreams too.
Even as I chastise myself internally, I think about what transpired in the dream-slash-nightmare, and I consider telling Holland. Who better to interpret them than a witch? This may be my only chance to tell him without Jasik or the other hunters eavesdropping. But if I do tell him and it turns out this is something to fear, I may get house arrest. The last thing I want to do is worry Amicia and the others. I’d also like to prevent an all-out war between the Darkhaven covens.
When the vampires find out Mamá was my assailant, they’ll stop at nothing to eliminate the threat once and for all. While I’m not fond of the witches at the moment, I don’t hold grudges. I’ll get over their treatment eventually, and I think it would just be easier if we all lived separate lives and stayed out of each other’s way.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Holland says, breaking the silence.
“Hmm?” I say, even though I heard him.
“You seem lost in your mind. Anything you want to talk about?”
He shoves his hands into his pockets and shivers. He holds his arms close against his body as he exhales puffs of lacy steam. Being a vampire, I forget how cold the world can be to a mortal. I feel guilty for insisting we train outside the manor. Holland didn’t protest, but I still pressed it. I didn’t want to harm the vampires, but in doing so, I condemned Holland to spend hours in the cold dark of night.
“Will it be too cold for you out here?” I ask. Holland is thin and short. He’s only a couple inches taller than me. He pales in comparison to Jeremiah’s height and build. Holland looks frail beside his ex.
When the wind blows, his hair ruffles and his nose turns pink. I don’t think he would notice the color change if he looked at himself in a mirror, but I can see it clearly. I can practically hear the blood rushing from his nose to other parts of his body. Every time the constricted vessels dilate, a brief burst of blood causes his nose to turn from light pink to bright red. I lick my lips at the thought of it.
“No, and don’t change the subject.” He winks at me as he releases the tension in his shoulders. His arms fall more naturally to his sides, like he’s trying to prove he can compete with the vampires even when it’s so cold out. He doesn’t fool me. His hands are balled into fists, and his skin is pale white.
“I’m not. I just—”
“I’m fine, Ava. Now tell me what you were thinking about,” Holland says, growing more irritated with me.
I groan internally. “Why does it matter?”
“Because you were deep in thought,” he says. “I bet it was important.”
“How do you know?” I ask, still stalling.
“Because I’ve been talking since we left the manor, and you haven’t even heard me, have you?” he asks.
He’s right. I haven’t. I had no idea he said a word, but I lie. “Sure I did.”
Holland stops abruptly and turns to face me. He crosses his arms over his chest—in a show of defiance or for warmth, I’m not sure. “Prove it.”
“Prove it? How?” I ask. I know what he’s going to say, but I ask anyway.
“Tell me what I said.”
I grumble incoherently before speaking up. “Fine, okay? I didn’t hear you. I wasn’t listening. I was too worried about your comfort. My bad.”
Holland rolls his eyes. “Lies. Tell me what’s on your mind.”
I don’t answer right away. Holland is making it clear that he won’t budge on the matter. Either I can tell him what I was thinking about or we will sit out here all night until he freezes to death. Sadly, I’m not sadistic enough for the latter, but I kind of wish I were. I resolved this already. It was a nightmare.
“I had a bad dream.” I shrug. “That’s all.”
Holland arches a brow, clearly interested. “What kind of dream?”
I relent and say, “A vision… Maybe.”
“Well, my interest is piqued. Tell me about it.”
I summarize the dream as best I can and wait for his response.
“Ava, this doesn’t sound good.” Holland speaks softly, like he’s trying to calm a wild animal or coax a friend from a ledge. I don’t like his tone at all.
“I know,” I admit.
“Are you going to tell the others?”
I shrug. “How do I know it’s not just a dream.”
“You know, Ava. You know.” He emphasizes the last two words by pausing slightly.
I shake my head. “I’m not a spirit witch anymore, Holland. This is literally impossible.”
“How can you say that? How can you even believe that? Is it possible to be this stubborn?” Holland is shouting now, and it makes me uncomfortable.
Suddenly I’m aware of how far we are from home. We’re isolated, lost in the woods where so few venture. Even so, I was attacked in these very woods by creatures who were sent to kill me. I can’t shake that feeling, even if I know their leader is dead.
“Just…stop. Calm down,” I say, scanning the surrounding trees.
“What is it?” Holland asks. He steps closer, nearly closing the space between us. His arm brushes against mine as we both stare into the darkness. Unfortunately, he can’t see anything, but I can. I see endless rows of trees and brush and shadows. Enemies can be hiding anywhere.
“This was stupid. We’re too far. We should head back,” I say.
“But you’re the one who wanted to go into the woods,” Holland says cautiously. “I’ve been following your lead.”
I swallow the knot that forms in my throat. “I’m not sure I’m ready for this, Holland.”
“For what? Training?”
“For all of this. This is all just too much. First the rogues, then the magic, and now dreams. Every time I think I have the upper hand, I’m reminded of just how mortal I truly am.”
Holland smiles softly. “Vampires are always described as immortal creatures, but that’s just because you’re so different from the rest of us. But you’re not indestructible, Ava. You have to accept that there are dangers in this world that will come for you, especially now that we know you’re…different.”
I shake my head. “I didn’t expect to be limitless when I transitioned, but I certainly thought I wasn’t going to be bogged down by the witches and their baggage. I feel cursed, Holland!”
Holland reaches for me, but I pull away. I can see I’ve hurt him by the look in his eyes, but I don’t care.
“Ava, you’re not cursed. You’re special. Sometimes, being special, being different, can feel like a curse, but it’s not. You’re not cursed.”
“I—I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I just… I need some time alone. Can you get back okay?”
“I—uh…” Holland scans our surroundings, finding his bearings. “I guess. I think so.”
I don’t wait for him to ask me to stay, because I know he will. I also know I will falter. I will stay and help him get back, but right now I need some serious me time. I need space.
The second Holland tells me he’s okay, I vanish. I run full speed as far as I can. I don’t know where I’m running, and I don’t care. I just run until my legs ache and the ground disappears.
My legs are dangling over the ledge of a steep cliff when I hear him approach. I don’t need to face him to know he’s there. I feel him. I sense him in a way I don’t sense others. He feels it too, this invisible link that tethers us together for all eternity. It’s there, even now and even when he’s miles away. I always feel him.
I don’t turn around. Instead, I stare into the abyss of forest. It offers seclusion rarely granted to picturesque towns not in television shows. We get the occasional t
ourist, but we aren’t bombarded like most places. I feel lucky to have grown up here, surrounded by nature. That’s important to witches and, apparently, to vampires as well.
The stars are bright in the sky above me. They twinkle and reflect off the still water. They dance across waves and splash at the rocky banks below. The water is clear. It’s so clear, I can see the sand below. The deeper the water, the darker the depths. I used to swim here and try to hold my breath until I swam all the way to the bottom. I was young and certain there were treasures below where no one had gone before. Unfortunately, I never reached what lies below. I didn’t have the lung capacity for such a feat. I think I do now, yet I don’t wish to jump in. I like not knowing the sea’s secrets. I can respect there are some things that need not be discussed.
Jasik sits down beside me. Our legs brush together. My skin tingles where our bodies connect. Even through layers of clothing, I can feel the sensation growing. My heart flutters when he’s so close to me. I like the way it feels, but I don’t care for it much. It makes my head foggy and my speech gibberish.
“How’d you find me?” I ask quietly. The waves are crashing against the rocks below. The salty air tingles my nose, and I scrunch to avoid a sneeze. The air is misty with an incoming rain. I can smell it. It is a fresh earthy scent, like musk and grass mixed together. I love it.
Jasik is silent for a moment before speaking. When he does answer me, he glances over. I can feel his eyes on me, but I don’t budge. I wait for his answer.
“Even if I were blind, I could find you.”
His voice is a whisper, and his words pierce my heart. My breath catches in my throat, and I finally face him. His eyes sparkle in the moonlight. When he looks at me, his crimson irises change. They’re bolder, brighter, turning neon and glowing.
“Jasik…” I speak softly, but I don’t really say anything at all. I’m not sure I need to. He can understand my meaning from one simple word. I’m sure of this.
“Holland told me what happened. He worries you fear you’re cursed. This can’t be true… Is it?” Jasik asks.
I look away. I can’t stare into his eyes and admit my deepest insecurities when he’s looking so annoyingly and breathtakingly perfect.
“You don’t know what it’s like to be a freak.” My voice is raspy with emotion.
“Ava…”
Jasik whispers my name and tucks loose strands of hair behind my ears. He repeats the motion when the wind blows them free again. Self-consciously, I run a hand over my hairline, desperately trying to apply enough pressure to keep my frizz from fluttering in the breeze. I know it’s a lost cause, but I can’t stop myself.
“Why can’t you see how extraordinary you are?” he asks.
A knot forms in my throat. I face him again, and our feet interlock. I wrap my ankle around his and lean toward him.
“You think I’m extraordinary?”
“I think you’re radiant.”
I smile and drag my teeth against my lower lip. “You think I’m radiant?”
“I think you’re bewitching, Miss López.”
We both laugh at the double meaning. I lean against Jasik and rest my head on his shoulder. Together we watch the moon dance across the water and the stars shoot across the sky.
We don’t speak, not even when we begin to breathe in unison. As the seconds tick closer to sunrise, we sit, transfixed by the feeling of our souls intertwining.
Jasik turns his hand to reveal his palm, and I slide my hand into his. Our fingers thread together, and I feel as though life can’t possibly get more perfect.
In the back of my mind, I know I’ve disappointed Holland and probably Malik too. Now that I’m not an emotional wreck, I’m ready to face this problem head-on, because Jasik is right.
I am extraordinary, and it’s time this magic inside me submits to me.
Something slams into me with such sharp force, it steals my breath, and my lungs ache from the sudden exhalation. My limbs flail uncontrollably as I try to steady myself. My head lulls to the side as my body is catapulted from where I was standing. The strain on my shoulders stings at my muscles, and sharp needle pains stab at the base of my skull.
My vision is blurry. I see flashes of light. I think I see multiple figures standing in the distance, but I can’t be sure. My senses are in overdrive, and I can’t focus on any one thing. All I know is I’m flying through the air now, body limp.
I tumble to the ground in a heap, rolling until I finally skid to a stop. I’m on my back, staring at the starlit sky, and I take my first full breath since the attack. I suck in a breath so forcefully, I nearly choke on it. The quick burst of air tickles the back of my throat, and I cough, rolling onto my side until my lungs finish spasming.
Get up, Ava. Get up and fight.
I roll onto my stomach, and by the time I’m crouched on all fours, I finally stop hacking. I sit up, resting my bottom on the heels of my feet and my hands on my thighs. I’m breathing heavily as I scan my surroundings.
I blink away tears, a natural reflex from choking, as I stare into the eyes of my friends.
Hikari, Jeremiah, Malik, Jasik, and even Holland are standing several yards away, watching me as I rise.
“What the he—”
“This is an important lesson, Ava,” Malik says, interrupting me. His tone is harsh, and I’m certain he’s annoyed with me because of what happened earlier with Holland.
“What lesson is that, Malik? How to fall?” Jasik says. He doesn’t hide his irritation.
Jasik is at my side as I stand but still offers his hand as aid. I wave him away, not wanting to look weak in front of the others. I’m embarrassed to know they’ve already caught me by surprise. Every time I think I’m gaining Malik’s trust, something happens to derail my efforts. At this rate, he may never end our training sessions.
“You must always be prepared,” Malik says. “Enemies are everywhere.”
“Yeah, apparently they’re even residing within my own home,” I say, frustrated. I brush away the loose dirt from my hands and saunter toward the others.
My body aches from the landing, not from the impact of the initial blow. Whoever attacked me truly must not have wanted to harm me—just teach me a lesson. By the coy smile on Hikari’s face, I’m guessing she was my assailant. She swoops her messy bangs to the side and playfully winks at me. It’s hard to stay mad at the vampires when I know they’re just trying to teach me how to survive.
“You were distracted, and you believed you were safe,” Malik says.
I grumble something under my breath about how I should be safe when I’m on my own property, which only irritates Malik. I need to learn to bite my tongue, because I will surely pay for my attitude later. And I thought my body was sore now.
“Just because the rogue is dead does not mean you are safe from danger, Ava—regardless of where you are,” Malik says. “Never forget that.”
I nod, not just because I want this lesson to be over but because he’s right. The rogue may be dead, but I’m never out of danger. I should have learned that from the many battles I’ve fought during the course of my short life. Last night’s dream should serve as a reminder as well.
I can’t trust anyone—not even my own blood.
Chapter Nine
I want to apologize, but I can’t find the right words. Saying “I’m sorry I abandoned you in freezing weather in the middle of woods that might have been overrun with rogue vampires” just doesn’t seem to convey the right amount of regret.
“It’s okay,” Holland says, reading my mind. He smiles at me and seems generally unaffected by my betrayal. “I know newborns are ornery. It takes a while to get used to all those emotions.” He winks.
“I am sorry,” I say. I hope my tone reflects my honesty. Holland and I may not be actual friends yet, but what I did was a crappy thing to do, even if I was overwhelmed by my emotions. It’s getting easier to control them, but in the meantime, I have to try not to ruin all my relationships.
/>
“I know,” he says, nodding.
“It won’t happen again,” I add. I’m babbling now, but I can’t stop myself.
“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” he says with a chuckle. “You’ve got a long way to go before you shed your newborn status.”
“Is that why you set up the attack? To teach me a lesson?” My words are harsher than intended. Honestly, I am just curious. I try to convey that I’m not upset with Holland for telling the others about my mental breakdown by smiling. The moment comes across as insincere, and I have a feeling I look like a psycho.
I watched a documentary about Ted Bundy, one of the most notorious serial killers I’m familiar with, and I’m pretty sure I look just like he did when he was in court, dressed in prison garments and handcuffed at his hands and feet, and still smiling and waving at the cameras who were filming his trial. Awkward.
Holland stares plainly before answering. “No, it was Malik’s idea. Hikari was happy to help him with his, uh, lesson.”
I knew it!
I snort. “I’m not surprised. Malik has no faith in me.” Again, my tone is hard. I gnaw on my lower lip. The last thing I want is for Holland to think I’m a jerk and refuse to help me. I need to learn how to sound less cranky.
“He only wants what’s best for you,” Holland says, defending Malik, my ruthless trainer. I like how easy it is for him to defend a vampire. I wish it was like this for everyone. Life would be a lot easier if it were just vampires and witches versus rogues—and not the way it is now. Too much unnecessary bloodshed has wreaked havoc on the species, but there can be peace. The witches just have to want it.
I kick at the sticks on the ground and relish how they crunch under my weight. When they snap, I feel it in my head and limbs and even in my heart. I thought being a vampire was a death sentence, but now I’m not so sure. Having heightened senses has allowed me to experience the world differently, and I love it.
“Yeah, I know, but it sucks sometimes. I just wish Malik believed in me. I always feel like such a disappointment to him,” I say, shrugging. It’s weird being vulnerable with someone I barely know. I want to ask Holland questions about his life, but I don’t. I’m not sure he’s ready yet. I need to wait for the right moment to let him know he can lean on me too. We’re both witches—sort of—living in a house full of vampires. Who better to talk to about life’s quarrels?
Dark Magic (Darkhaven Saga Book 2) Page 10