I nod and scowl, grateful for the conversation switch. “The police can’t do anything about how Pax is behaving. Every time I think he’s backing off he does something else. Laurie posted on Saturday night that we were out drinking at our favorite hotspot and he showed up. Tried dancing with me. Kept telling me how sorry he was, and then threw his drink at the wall when I told him to leave me alone.”
“Oh my God…” She blinks slowly. “You’re kidding?”
“I wish I were. He then sent flowers to my house on that Sunday, my neighbor called to let me know.”
“You must be terrified constantly.”
“It’s why I was so hesitant to come here. The last thing I want is to put anybody I care about in harm’s way. The policeman was kind and issued me with a police-grade Taser, so even they think he’s dangerous, but they can’t do anything until he either gets caught damaging my property or assaults me.”
“That’s crazy.”
“He’s crazy. And I’m tired of this innocent-until-proven-guilty thing. They’re probably going to charge him with harassment, but even then, it’s just a restraining order through the courts which can take a bit of time. It’s like I have to wait for him to kill me before anything can be done.”
“We should see about getting you some protection. Mario would be happy to take you to a gun range, teach you how to shoot? Get you a license to carry?”
I have been considering it, especially since Saturday night. “I might take him up on that offer.”
“You should. No woman should ever be made to feel too frightened to live in her own home.”
I completely agree, it’s so unfair. “Thank you, Izabella. For everything.” I sigh heavily. “I gave up my home this morning. I gave them my one-month notice.”
“Have you found a place?”
I shake my head. “No, but I might have found a new job.”
“Oh, wow!” she beams at me, unable to hide her relief. If I didn’t know that she knows about Ezra’s feelings for me, I never would have spotted it. “Where?”
“Seattle, Robert Butler put out a word and one of his friends has a space opening up in a few weeks.”
Her face falls. “That’s so far away.”
“Exactly.”
“Maybe distance is what you need right now?”
I nod slowly. “Exactly.”
“Ezra is going to struggle to replace you.”
“I’ll find him somebody amazing before I go.”
“If you go.”
Truth be told I’ve been putting some real thought into it. My feelings for Ezra are getting stronger than ever and I just know if we don’t end it soon, it’s going to blow up in everybody’s faces and hurt so many people.
“You’ve already decided,” Izabella murmurs.
I smile at her, my eyes wet. “It’s for the best. He’s not going to follow me to Seattle.”
At this point I’m not sure if I’m talking about Pax or Ezra.
She links her arm through mine and we press our shoulders together. “You’re going to be amazing, no matter where you go.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
He gives me butterflies in my stomach.
My arms are still aching from my first ever shooting range practice with Mario. It’s safe to say my aim is terrible but it did improve by the end of the day.
To say shooting guns gives you a massive rush is an understatement. I’m thrumming with the adrenaline I got from it. I love this feeling.
I’ve never felt so in control of myself, so exhilarated. I got nervous after the first loud bang and dropped to my knees, covering my ear guards with my hands. But Mario coaxed me out of it and I eventually got used to the noise. It was a gut reaction that we both ended up laughing about, but it made me feel like such a freak. Though if Mario thought so he never showed it.
He also let me count twelve seconds between each shot without getting frustrated.
“Well hello, I wasn’t expecting to see you today,” Ezra says while grinning when I enter his office and click the lock.
“You have half an hour,” I tell him as I move to his chair, still buzzing with excitement.
“I do?”
“You do,” I whisper, turning his seat and standing between his knees.
His eyes look me up and down when I slowly start to pull up my skirt, showing him the tops of my stockings, and my lack of panties.
I kick off my heels and slide one foot and leg through the arm of his leather, spinning chair, and then maneuver the other one through as he unbuckles his belt and pulls his hard cock free. I love that I can do that for him just by entering the room. We can never get enough of each other.
He lifts my white, low V-cut top up and over my red-lace-clad breasts.
“I hope you didn’t wear this to go shooting with my dad, you’ll have given the poor man a heart attack.”
“Let’s not talk about your dad when I’m about to fuck you into oblivion.” I reach for the handle under the seat, pull it and it drops three inches, so my feet are on the floor as I straddle him.
I kiss him deep and slow as I raise my hips and guide his cock to my entrance.
“To oblivion, hmm?” he asks, smiling until I slowly sink onto him, taking as much of him as I can. His smile vanishes at this point only to be replaced with such an intense look of complete wonder and awe. “Nobody has ever felt like you.”
I rock my hips, kissing his neck and biting his ear as his hands explore and rub every inch of my body that he can reach.
I don’t take my time because we don’t have time. I fuck him faster than I ever have, feeling it build in my womb.
We come, me first and then him, as always. He always waits until I’m done before he lets himself get there. One of the many things I adore about him.
I look at him after crying out my number and then his and kiss his lips gently.
“Every day I try to find excuses to come and see you,” I whisper, kissing his jaw as he still pulses inside of me and I throb around him. He starts to soften, the weirdest feeling. “Every night it’s torture.”
“You love me,” he murmurs, grinning like the happiest man in the world. “Just say it.”
“I can’t. I won’t.”
“Why?”
“Because when I say it, it means I feel it, and if I feel it, who will be strong enough to walk away?”
He taps the end of my nose with his tongue. “Then don’t walk away.”
I stand and climb from him, using every Kegel muscle I have, to stop leaking his seed everywhere. I enter the bathroom and we start our ritual of cleaning ourselves up, side by side, no embarrassment, just tender looks and touches.
“Is there something you want to tell me?” he asks, looking wary when I don’t hold his eyes for more than a few seconds following that conversation.
“I’m going to Seattle this weekend,” I state, pulling on my top and checking my hair in the mirror.
“What? Why?”
While clicking my fingers, I slip my shoes back on, smiling when he crouches down to help me wriggle my feet in. He kisses my thigh, stands, and wraps his arms around mine, stopping me from acting out my little quirks. “You’re nervous. What’s in Seattle?”
“A job interview,” I answer, and he freezes, his eyes, his body, his lips, everything falls and then freezes.
“Why do you need a job interview in Seattle?”
I try to pull away, but he holds me tighter. “I gave up my apartment yesterday morning.”
“So, get a new one. I’ll help you. I know the owners of some of the best apartment complexes in the city.”
“Ezra—”
“Don’t quit, you promised me you wouldn’t.”
I look into his eyes. “I promised no such thing. It’s for the best.”
“Says who?”
“Says me, says your mom, says Pax.”
He shakes his head, looking desperate and panicked. “I can protect you from Pax. I’ll hire you a detail to
take care of you.”
“And what about you? Can you protect me from the fallout that will happen when we get caught?” I turn his head back towards me. “This isn’t a matter of if, but a matter of when.”
“So, you flee to Seattle?”
“One of us has to make the hard decision.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m nobody’s second, Ezra, that’s why!” I snap, successfully pulling away from him now. “Because of the thing I won’t say aloud… I’m too consumed by you, too desperate to be with you and you don’t belong to me. You’re asking me to be your second. That’s not something I ever want for myself.”
He looks as devastated as I feel. “I don’t want that for you either. I don’t know what to do. I just know that I can’t let you go. You can stay my PA. Nobody would have to know about us. We could be discreet.”
I close my eyes and wrap my arms around myself. “You’re married.”
“You don’t think I know that?”
“Doesn’t the guilt consume you? Because it is consuming me. It’s devouring me. I can hardly sleep at night worrying if you feel guilt so strong that it has you confessing to your wife about me as you lie in her bed.” Before he can reply I inhale a staggered breath. “You’re asking me to be your other woman. You’re asking me to put my life on hold for a man who will never be mine. You’re exploiting my feelings for you.”
“That’s not what I’m trying to do. I just… I just know that I love you and I want you.”
“You’re married!” I turn on him, slamming my hands against his bare chest. “You already promised your soul to her. Your wife.”
“And I love my wife,” he hisses, looking conflicted and hurt. “I love her, and I don’t want to hurt her. I can’t even say that my marriage is unhappy because it’s not. We were so fucking happy when this began.”
I want to run away. I don’t want to hear this.
“I love my wife…”
“Stop.”
“But I’m in love with you. It feels unfair. It feels so fucking unfair that I don’t get to have you and I know it’s greedy. I’m asking you for too much. But I can’t bear to lose you. I want you.”
I kiss him desperately, needing to confirm his words with a taste of him. Then I break away just as suddenly. “I can’t handle the thought of you going home to your wife every night and fucking her when hours before you had me. I don’t want to share.”
“Then there’s no other option. I’ll divorce her.”
“No.” I panic, thinking of his daughter and the damage that will cause. “No, you can’t do that… not for me… not for anyone. Maria, she’s at such an impressionable age. It would ruin her. Especially since you’re happy. She’ll be so confused. She’ll lose you, her mom, and me. Besides, we both know that’s not something you want.”
He doesn’t deny the latter which breaks me even more. He’s just saying empty things to get me to stay. “Then let’s pretend… let’s just keep going as we are, pretending there is no wife. It’s just you and me. We’ll go on trips away from here, places where we don’t have to hide.”
“I can’t do that either.”
He pushes his hands through his hair. “You’re ending us.”
“There’s nothing to end, Ezra. I’m not yours. You’re not mine. And I need to get out of here before it becomes impossible to leave.”
“I can’t lose you.”
“Let’s just enjoy what little time we have left together, okay?”
He nods, lifting me and turning until I’m sitting on the desk. “Maybe I can win you over.”
“I doubt it. There are things I want from my future that I can’t get from you, Ezra. I want a family of my own, I’ve never had one. I want to get married and brag to everyone how gorgeous my husband is. I want to live with somebody and get annoyed that they leave their socks by the hamper. I want normal. I don’t want to live in fear. I definitely don’t want to live in another woman’s shadow.”
He doesn’t argue further because he knows I’m right. Instead he kisses me like it’s the last time, pulls my hips to the edge of the desk and fucks me like he did the first time.
* * *
For the most part, things get back to normal and we jump on a plane to Reno for two nights to oversee a sale take place. It’s so mundane. The only saving grace is the fact I’m alone with Ezra.
We still booked two hotel rooms but obviously we’re sharing his.
Our first time in a bed was… I’ll never recover. I don’t like to think about it because of how sweet it was and how attentive he was, and the way we lay together afterwards for hours just talking and playfighting and teasing each other endlessly.
It’ll be one of those memories that I’ll cherish forever.
I know he feels the same.
Our final night we go for dinner and then dancing, then go back to the hotel for more of the same. There’s just nothing boring or undesirable about this man. Every single time I try to find something about him that I might not like, I end up liking him more.
“Don’t go to Seattle,” he begs on a whisper as I lie curled around his body, my head under his chin. “Please. Let me figure it out. We’ve had no time together at all.”
“There’s nothing to figure out,” I whisper back, circling his nipple with the tip of my finger. Little does he know I’m counting the circles and I’m on circle eighteen. Anything to distract myself from this unpleasant conversation. He often stops my nervous tics when he knows they’re happening and for the most part my tics around him are at the lowest they’ve been in a long time, but that doesn’t mean they’re gone forever. “Your place is with your wife. You can’t have us both. One of us is bound to get hurt. I don’t want that mess for you, Elizabeth, or Maria.”
“You’re so much stronger than I am. I’m a coward.”
“No, you’re just… conflicted. I get it. That’s why I’m making the decision for you.”
“Le parole non possono descrivere il mio amore per te.”
“What did you say?”
He kisses my temple. “Words cannot describe my love for you.”
I smile and close my eyes, stopping the circling at thirty-six. “Tell me a story in Italian. I love to hear you speak it.”
“Qualsiasi cosa a tu desideria.” He proceeds to talk, and I listen until I physically can’t stay awake any longer.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
He takes care of me.
I exit the plane after a two-hour flight and stretch as I wait for my suitcase. Beyond the gate where I’m supposed to be greeted, I’m surprised to find Robert waiting for me with a sign that reads:
“Best one-nighter ever”
I laugh as I approach the executive recruiter for WhyTech and close friend of Ezra’s. He looks great in dark jeans and a light pink button up.
“Is that sign for me?”
“No, it’s just a coincidence that we’re both here at the same time,” he jests, looking over my head for somebody else.
I smack his arm and squeak when he hugs me, lifting me off the floor.
“You smell so good,” he tells me, nuzzling my neck.
“Would you stop?” I admonish but I’m still grinning.
He puts me down and wags his brows at me. “Happy to see me?”
“Not as happy as you are to see me it seems,” I joke, taking the sign from him and hitting him in the groin with it. He feigns injury and links an arm around my neck. I tense at the contact but don’t push him away. “Why are you here?”
“I’m recruiting you, showing you all the reasons why you should come to Seattle and take the job.”
“I thought this was an interview?”
“It was… until you got three different offers of employment from three different CEOs and executives looking for office managers.”
“Umm… what?”
He rolls his shoulders. “You’re good at what you do, I pimped you out, they all want you, baby. But Mr. Watanabe is desperat
e for an excellent PA and office manager, his firm is wealthy, and he wants you more than the rest because he asked me to convince you as a personal favor.”
I blink at him. “He asked you?”
“Yep, because recruiting is what I do and I’m the one who recommended you to begin with.” He squeezes my shoulder and grabs my suitcase with his other hand. “Also, I live here, so I know Seattle and all the best places to go.”
“I’ve never done office management before.”
“That’s essentially what you did for Conti,” he points out. “You took over that entire floor and we all know it. That’s why people stopped going to him and started coming to you. He had more time to do his actual job because of you.”
“Aww.” I pat his chest. “Such a shining review.”
“You can give me the ten bucks for that later. Now come on. Let me help you fall in love with this incredible city and show you your apartment.”
“My apartment?”
“I have one on hold for you if you say yes.” He gives me a squeeze. “I told you I’d sort you out.”
“You certainly did.”
His smiling hazel eyes hold mine for a beat before he releases me and motions for me to step on an escalator that takes us down a level.
We climb into a waiting car and I listen to him be his charming self as we drive to Robert’s apartment, a condo on the middle floor of a towering high-rise.
“No hotel?” I jest, not actually all that bothered about where I stay, it’s just nice to feel safe for the first time in weeks.
He wags his brows at me and holds my shoulders, taking me to the floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking a balcony and Seattle itself.
“Oh God… you have a hot tub. What the frick?” I laugh because I’m not surprised. “This place is as bachelor pad as it gets.”
“Right?”
He calls for me when he crosses the open space, passing a large L-shaped black leather couch. I follow him to what looks to be my room and sit on the comfy bed.
“It’s new bedding, never been slept in, washed thoroughly. I know how your quirky little brain works.”
Becoming His Mistress Page 23