“I should be asking you how I did this week, I made a couple of silly errors on Thursday that I’m not happy about and I’m sure you’re not either.”
He flaps a hand at me. “Tiny errors that we corrected. I expected more your first week. So far I’m impressed. I have high hopes that you’ll continue to impress me too.”
“That’s so kind of you.” I tuck my hair behind my ears. “And I appreciate the opportunity.”
“You haven’t answered my question. Are you happy here?”
“Of course, I’ve got a great apartment, I’m visiting a friend tonight, my boss is very kind, the office has taken well to my position here so far…”
“Yet you look so sad.” He rests his chin on his raised fist as he assesses me.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize, it hasn’t affected your work at all from what I can tell. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
“I will be,” I assure him, putting on a fake but bright smile. “I just miss what I left behind.”
“It’s a big change, if I can help in any way, you let me know.”
“Thank you, Mr. Watanabe.”
He smiles and I dismiss myself, standing and moving to my own office which adjoins his. It is so nice having my own private space where people have to knock to get the okay to bug me, as opposed to WhyTech where I had to acknowledge everybody even when I didn’t have time.
Robert: I’ll be outside in ten.
I smile at my phone.
Rose: Promise? I’m so hungry.
Robert: In the mood for sausage?
Rose: Gross.
Robert: What’s wrong with sausage?
Rose: I love sausage. Just not the sausage you’re offering.
Robert: You filthy-minded whorebag. I was talking about Sausage Palace about twenty minutes away.
Rose: Suuuuure you were.
Half an hour later we pull up outside of Sausage Palace that do hot dogs and shakes of all kinds.
“Oh,” I mutter looking up at the ostentatious building with a giant sausage-shaped light above the door. “You weren’t kidding.”
Grinning at me, he takes my hand and swings it between us, whistling happily as we go. I look at his profile, wishing I’d met and fallen for him first, though my heart probably wouldn’t have fared any better. He’s a massive playboy. He loves women. Though he insists it’s just until the right one comes along, to which I explained his philandering ways would likely scare her away, he replied, “The right girl for me will look past my past and focus on my future.”
There’s no way I could argue with that.
We enter the family-friendly restaurant complete with play area and screaming kids. Only Robert would love the food at a place like this.
“So… you know I have that party coming up in a few weeks?”
I cringe. “How could I forget? Is he attending?”
Robert knows the truth about my affair with Ezra and has been a shoulder for me since I moved to Seattle two weeks ago.
The day Laurie and I got back from our romantic vacation to Hawaii, we packed up my shit and I moved back to her place for a while. Just while Robert helped me find a job, luckily for me Mr. Watanabe wasn’t happy with his newest company addition and here I am now. She didn’t even finish her trial period of two weeks before I stepped in.
I don’t want to be happy about somebody else’s failure, but with how easy I’m adapting to this job, it feels like it was always meant to be mine. The people I work with are incredibly nice and welcoming. I’ve already started to make friends which is something I never accomplished at WhyTech. Everybody was in a clique.
“He RSVP’d. Truth be told I think he’s hoping to catch a glimpse of you.”
“Seriously? Why?”
“He misses you. I told him we were still in touch and you might be there, though I didn’t tell him you are living here.”
I pull a face as we sit at a table furthest away from the kids, and a woman, donning a hat that looks like fries, comes over to take our drink order. We both opt for soda, though with this level of noise I should have chosen vodka.
He winks at me. “Still hate him?”
“Yep.”
“He hurt you, but he wants to talk.”
“And?”
He chuckles and slides a menu my way. “Stubborn.”
Truth be told I want to talk to him too. I want to scream at him and ask him why he didn’t choose me. But what’s the point? She’s pregnant.
“I don’t want anything to do with him anymore.”
“Will you still go to my party?”
I narrow my eyes. “Are you trying to get me in his path.”
“Eh, no, I definitely don’t want you both continuing your affair… but what better way is there to get him to stop calling you and bugging me about you?” He wags his brows which are a shade or two darker than his hair.
“How will me seeing him stop him from bugging me?”
“Because when he sees how disinterested you are—”
“Sounds like a game to me.”
“He’ll give up trying.”
I blink at him and smile enthusiastically. “I suppose. I could take a date.”
“Let’s not be hasty.”
“I’ll see if Mr. Watanabe’s grandson is in the area.”
“Hey now… no need to jump to—”
I grin wryly. “Might even get laid. He’s gorgeous, have you met him?”
Now his eyes are narrowed, his jealousy evident. It’s no secret that Robert is attracted to me and no secret that I’m attracted to him, even though we’ve never acted upon it. “I don’t like you at all right now.”
“I can hardly go with you, Robert. One, you’re one of Cunti’s—”
“HA… Cunti.”
“—closest friends. And two, you’re my only real friend local. I don’t want to mess that up. I appreciate what we have too much.” I tap my fingers on the table six times. “Not to mention the fact I’m still in love with him.”
“But would you go running back to him if he offered?”
That’s a question I’ve asked myself many times. “His wife is pregnant.”
“What if she wasn’t pregnant?”
My hands wrap around the drink the waitress brings over before taking our food orders.
When she’s gone, I continue, “He didn’t choose me.”
“He chose his baby.”
“No, he chose her.”
He looks confused. “Would you not have chosen your child?”
“Absolutely, but… Ezra and I were planning to get pregnant as soon as his divorce was final.”
He chokes on his soda and hits his chest with his fist. “W… what?”
“He even told me to come off birth control, but I said not while he’s married.”
With thick, parted lips he emits a gasp. “This is starting to sound more and more like midlife crisis the more I hear of it.”
“Shut up,” I murmur and shrug my shoulders. “Whatever it was to him it was real to me. So I was excited and ready to take the next step with him. What if I’d come off birth control before they divorced and I was already pregnant?”
“Are you?”
“No, of course not. I get the injection every three months, but so off topic. What would he have done then? Who would he have chosen?” I look at Robert with sad eyes. “Would he have chosen me?”
“I think he’s an ass, whatever his choice. He never should have started anything with you.”
“Agreed, so no, I wouldn’t go back. I deserve better than him and Pax.”
“You sure do.” He grins flashing his perfect teeth.
“Did I tell you that he didn’t even tell me to my face?”
“You did but you can tell me again.”
“He said goodbye in a note… a note, after we had sex… and then he fired me, not even a goodbye to my face. Who does that?”
“Only assholes like Cunti.”
; I grunt my agreement. “Anyway, stop talking about it. It’s making me angry.”
“Noted,” he mutters, his smile still in place. He just finds it so easy to smile all the time. It’s endearing.
Our food arrives in record time and I lick my lips at the sight of my jumbo chili dog with cheese and fried onions.
“I can’t believe you got tater tots,” I say, giggling when he dips one in way too much ketchup like a little boy and chews it with a groan. I pick up my ordinary fry and eye it before dunking it in mustard.
“Open,” he calls as I swallow the fry. Not bad food considering there’s likely no real chef here.
“Why?”
“Just open.”
I part my lips and tilt my head back, jumping slightly when a tater tot hits my cheek. I catch it with my hand by sheer luck, dip it in ketchup and eat it. “You missed. Try again.”
He chuckles, and this time, when he throws it, I’m ready. I catch it on my tongue.
“Once more.”
“You just want to eat my tots.”
Giggling, I pick up a fry, break it in half for throwing ease and declare, “My turn.”
He opens his mouth and I toss it gently. It bounces off his nose, so I try again. He gets it this time.
I bite into my hot dog and eye his. He chose a cheesesteak dog which is basically a hot dog covered in cheese and strips of burnt beef. It looks amazing though.
“Want some?” he asks, offering me his food.
“You gonna throw that in my mouth too?”
“Nope.” He wags his brows and holds it out to me and motions for me to do the same with mine. Somehow, much to our amusement, we manage to feed each other a bite of each other’s hot dogs with minimal mess. Though my cheek and nose are greasy when I pull back and his lips are covered in red sauce.
“Man, that’s hot,” he gasps, wafting his mouth. “How can you eat that? It’s too spicy.”
“I like putting hot things in my mouth.”
He stops wafting and gives me a look that screams of innuendos I know he wants to say aloud. “Can’t tell if being serious or not. Want to join in but don’t want fork in eye.”
“Did I break your brain? Suddenly you can’t speak in full sentences?”
My phone rings, it’s a withheld number. I frown at it and flip it over.
“Want me to answer it? It could be work.”
I shake my head. “It’s not work-related. I have a new cell for that, nobody else knows my personal number. I’m going to change my personal number.”
“You’re serious, aren’t you? I can’t believe how strong you’re being.”
“You expected me to be what?”
“I expected you to give in by now and talk to him.”
I blow a raspberry. “If I hear his voice now, it’ll be like going back to the night he abandoned me. There’s nothing he has to say that I want to hear. It is what it is. It hurts. I’m moving on. Can we stop talking about it?”
He throws a tater tot at me, this time just for fun. “About who?”
“Exactly.”
My phone rings again, I look at it, happy to see Laurie’s gorgeous smile on my screen.
“Hey, beautiful,” I say with a huge smile, opening my mouth when Robert throws another tater tot my way.
“Hey, lover. You busy?”
“I’m out with Robert right now, is it important?”
“Nah, I just miss you.”
I smile at that. I love Laurie. “I miss you too. I’ll call you later.”
“Deal.”
We hang up and I look down at my lap and frown. There’s a small pile of tater tots gathering on my lap and I didn’t even notice. When I grab them all and throw them in his face, he laughs hysterically and draws the eyes of everyone around us.
He has a nice laugh.
And even though there are many attractive women around us giving him hungry eyes, his laughing eyes are on me and me alone.
This could get messy if I let it, but after Ezra, I have way more strength than that.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
How desperate he is to hold me.
Robert’s bachelor apartment is packed with many cool and influential people. I network, I’m good at that for the most part. I float around like a busy little bee, looking and feeling incredible, drinking gin from the open bar and acting entirely out of character.
I know I said that I didn’t want any games, but I want Ezra to see me in my new element. I want him to think that I’m not missing him, at all.
Which I’m not. Not at all. Not even a little bit.
“He’s here,” Robert whispers in my ear, wrapping an arm around my waist. “He brought a guest.”
When I shoot my gaze to the entrance, Robert turns me to face Mr. Watanabe and his wife who are sitting not too far from where I’m standing.
“Don’t look too eager. He brought his wife.”
My heart sinks. I feel sick.
“I should go.”
“I think that’s why he wanted to speak to you,” Robert mutters in my ear, his arm still around my waist. “Likely to be sure you wouldn’t out yourself to Elizabeth.”
I turn, searching through the crowd. My eyes hit the back of Ezra’s head and I struggle to breathe. Beside him is Elizabeth, her hand on his shoulder, the one that dons her platinum wedding band. Her hair is golden blonde and perfectly up in an intricate twist. From what I can see she’s wearing thin straps that lead to a stunning silver dress.
Then she turns as though feeling my eyes and her brown eyes light up when they see me. She smiles and I read her lips, “Ezra, it’s Rose.”
“You okay?” Robert asks as I try to take a casual stance beside him.
Ezra and Elizabeth are coming our way and Ezra’s eyes are burning into me, daring me to look at him. I don’t. I can’t.
Instead I focus on Elizabeth who hugs me. Something she has never done before.
“We have felt your loss so hard,” she says, squeezing me and then releasing me. “Ezra is struggling to replace you and I didn’t realize just how much you did for me before you vanished.”
I make a strange humming slash grunting noise because I don’t know how to speak. I scan her body in the sleek dress that fits her like a second skin, but I see no sign of a baby bump. She’s got to be sixteen or more weeks now. Shouldn’t she have something?
“What happened? Why did you decide to leave?” I’ve never seen her so happy and friendly, but then I remember she’s got her man back and a new baby on the way, of course she’s happy.
“Better job, better pay, better people,” I say and my eyes cut to Ezra. The bitterness in my tone doesn’t go amiss and Elizabeth’s smile falters. I quickly add, “Meaning Pax for example. I just couldn’t be where he was anymore.”
“He got arrested for harassing another coworker. Turns out he’s got a history of violence towards women but nothing concrete enough to put him away until now,” Elizabeth tells me with raised brows. “He beat his new woman so bad she had to have her nose reconstructed.”
I choke on a gasp. “You’re kidding?”
“You had a lucky escape,” Robert mutters and we share a look of agreement.
She didn’t though. How sad.
Ezra glances between us, he’s trying to catch my eyes. “He’s on bail pending trial and of course he has been fired from the company.”
“Something you should have done sooner,” Robert accuses, his body tight, his fingers digging into my side.
“I worried if I didn’t have his job as leverage over him, he would keep going for Rose.”
“That does make sense,” Elizabeth puts in thoughtfully, her hand now on her husband’s chest. I remember touching that chest just six weeks ago, I remember digging my fingers into the hard muscles of his chest. I remember the sound he made and how he whimpered when I ground down on his cock.
She suddenly sniffs the air, leaning closer to me. “You smell so nice, what is that?”
Truth
be told it’s a fragrance Ezra had made just for me, a mixture of roses and sugarplums and whatever else. He was always so generous, forever surprising me with the sweetest gifts despite the fact I had very little to give him in return. It’s still my favorite fragrance.
“Excuse me, I need to use the ladies’ room,” I mutter, ducking my head and pulling away from them all.
“So how long have you been dating?” Elizabeth asks Robert but I don’t stick around for his answer.
I push through the crowd, smiling at people as I go and head to the guest bathroom in the guest bedroom. I half expected to find people making out on the bed like some frat party but thankfully that never happened. This party has become awkward enough.
I head into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. Can she see my guilt? Can he see my love? It’s shining from my eyes like light from a flashlight. I don’t know how to get a check on it all.
I wash my hands six times, to at least feel a little cleaner and less of a snake. Then I dry them, taking my time, and finally exit the bathroom turning to pull the door as I step out.
I shriek when I sidestep into a warm body and a hand comes up to clasp over my mouth. With wide eyes I look at Ezra whose incredible grays are blazing down at me, so desperate and wild.
When he’s satisfied I’m not about to scream, he lets me go but only to slide his hand around to my neck. His own love, guilt, desperation, and lust pours from his eyes, mirroring my own.
I sob once, fighting the urge to cry as I inhale his sweet, masculine scent and recall what it was like to be in his arms.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, his voice so quiet I can hardly hear it. “I am so sorry, Rose. I miss you so much.”
“Step back,” I hiss, fighting the tears. “Step back right now before it’s too late.”
“I can’t.” His forehead rests against mine and he backs me into the bathroom door that I closed behind me. My back hits the wood and his lips skim against my own.
I fight it. I fight so hard as he nips at my lips, just grazing them with his own and his teeth.
Becoming His Mistress Page 32