He doesn’t deserve my mistrust. I worked for him for a long time and not once did he ever look at another woman while at work and he coexisted with some gorgeous women. Well, nobody but me.
I approach the PA who is at my old desk, surprised to find a man sitting there. Not that men aren’t excellent PAs, just that it’s a female-dominant role so I just assumed.
He smiles at me, showing white teeth fit for a celebrity and a golden tan that I’m not sure is real but looks incredible.
“It’s you,” he says happily. “Does he know you’re coming? He didn’t mention anything.”
I shake my head. “I thought I’d surprise him.”
“Say no more, go on through.”
“Wait,” I tap my fingers on his desk. “How do you know who I am?”
“He only talks about you all the time, besides, who do you think books his flights and hotels for your visits?” He slides his card my way. “If you ever need any return, call me and I’ll hook you up, though you probably know the system better than I do. I had huge boots to fill when I started four months ago but I haven’t been fired yet so…”
Wow, he’s chatty. I like him. “I’m sure you’re amazing but if you need any help, you let me know. Though you look like you’ve got it handled.”
“There’s always something new to learn.” He motions for me to go on ahead. “I’ll hold his calls for a while.”
I laugh quietly and reach for the door, then I yank down the handle and step inside. This office smells just like him. I inhale deeply as I close the door behind me and meet his surprised eyes.
A smile slowly stretches his face and his gray eyes glitter with happiness.
He doesn’t hesitate, he stands and strides towards me before lifting me and spinning me like he hasn’t seen me in months, not a few days. “Cuore mio. What are you doing here?”
“I came to spend the day bonding once again with your mother. And also, to surprise you.”
We kiss and he backs me into the door, groaning as he tastes me. “How did it go, was she nice?”
“She was lovely. We had a lot of fun.”
He looks around, checking that the blinds are closed and then locks the door. “Good.” His lips slant over mine and I hum when he grips my hips and thrusts against me.
So tingly and nice. It reminds me of before, when we used to work together and play together. Back when what we were doing was wrong.
Now it’s right, now it’s okay.
Now it’s all about me and him.
We dance a dance we know so well, fucking silently against the locked door in his office. He’s so good with his cock, he always knows how to thrust, where to thrust, when to thrust. And when we climax it’s not always together but it’s always so intense. It usually leaves us both shaking.
After we clean up, he kisses me and pulls me onto his lap. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“Because of the orgasm?”
He chuckles and kisses the skin of my neck. “Well, there is that. But… I’m taking Maria to see the new Troll movie tonight. You should join us.”
I bite my lip. “Elizabeth won’t like that.”
“I know but she has to start getting used to it eventually.”
“Maybe you should speak to her first?”
“Why? She didn’t speak to me when she introduced her new flame to our daughter last month.”
My lips part. “She’s dating somebody?”
“Yes.”
I assess him, gauging his reaction. “How do you feel about that?”
“Truthfully? I was… perturbed at first. You don’t spend thirteen years with somebody and not feel jealousy when they start to move on. But I’m okay with it now, he’s a good man, we’ve done business together in the past and I hope they make each other very happy.”
I run my fingers over his scalp, through his satin-soft hair, and consider what he said. It upsets me that he got jealous but my heart soars that he chose to be honest with me instead of sparing my feelings and placing another lie between us, albeit a small one. I feel even more secure in my relationship with him now. “If you think it won’t upset Maria, then I’ll come. I don’t want to intrude on her time with her father.”
“Technically it’s her time with her mother but Elizabeth has a prior engagement, hence the fact I’m having her.”
“You’re co-parenting great, it seems.”
He smiles. “And may it always be that way. So… will you join us?”
“Of course.” I press my lips to his. “And may I stay with you tonight? I haven’t booked a hotel.”
“Stay forever.”
“If only it were that simple.”
* * *
“ROSE!” Maria yells and dives at me, wrapping her arms around my waist.
I kiss the top of her hair, wondering how she got so tall all of a sudden. “It has been so long I worried you might not remember me.”
“How can I forget you? Did you know I’m almost eleven now? I’m practically an adult.”
I laugh and thread my fingers through her dark hair. “You really are. You’re gorgeous.”
“Dad said that you were coming, he also said that he loves you.”
I blink, surprised that he told her that already. I imagined he would ease her into it but I suppose she’s older and very smart, she’d have seen straight through us.
“That I did.” Ezra throws his arm around my shoulder and kisses my temple. “I told you it’d be fine.”
“Are you okay with that, Maria?”
She shrugs her shoulders. “Sure. Why not? You make him happy, right? And you were always nice to me.”
“You are wiser than your years, kid,” I say, hugging her again. “I missed you. My little soccer champ.”
Ezra leads us inside and off the busy street. “I don’t play soccer anymore. I go horse riding now.”
“Oh wow,” I breathe, awed. “I love horses!”
“Yes!” she cheers. “Then maybe I can convince you to buy one.”
I laugh nervously. “I don’t like them that much. But I’ll definitely come riding with you one day.”
“Seriously?”
“As serious as your dad’s disgusting tie today, did you see it?”
“Hey,” Ezra grumbles but his lips are twitching. “That was unnecessary.”
Maria cringes, “That blue, yellow, and white one? So gross.”
“Standing right here.”
“We know,” Maria and I chorus and join the line.
“Why don’t I wait here so we don’t lose our place and you two go choose snacks?” I suggest, looking at the mile-long lines at all of the kiosks.
Ezra kisses my jaw and takes his daughter away. I watch them go and pull out my notebook.
His daughter is amazing and so gorgeous.
“Do you want candy?” she asks, returning to me while my head is down.
I nod. “Of course I want candy.”
She takes off again, back to her father who winks at me.
I hope everything stays this amazing. I really do.
When the movie ends, we take Maria back to her mother, something Ezra relinquished to his wife per the divorce settlement agreement. I sit in the car and watch him walk her to the door which is lit from within. Such a gorgeous home.
The door opens and Maria hugs her dad goodbye, then hugs her mom hello. Then Elizabeth looks at the car and though there is a good twenty feet between us I see her body become stiff as a board.
I knew this wasn’t a good idea. I told him to take me to Laurie’s first, but he said that it’s time.
Whatever that means.
I don’t know what she says to Ezra but she’s angry and he physically stops her from charging my way. They argue for a while and then she shouts the word “WHORE!” at me and slams the door in his face.
He strides back, looking apologetic. “Sorry about that.”
“I told you to take me to Laurie’s.”
“She needed to see y
ou.”
“Does she even know we’re seeing each other again?”
He nods in the dark and places his hand on the back of my seat while reversing out of the driveway. “Of course she does, I told her that I wanted to try and get you back.”
“And now she knows you have.”
“Have I?” he asks cautiously. “How’s that jar?”
When I don’t reply, his smile loses its light. “We’ll get there.”
“I know.”
I consider filling it with random scraps of paper but that would be cheating.
Instead I write down another, ready to add to the jar when I return home.
He’s patient, more so than me.
Though I did sort of cheat at one point. I added numerous notes, such as:
I love his penis.
I love how thick his penis is.
I love how good he is at using his penis.
His penis is beautiful.
Then I stopped that because I wanted the jar to be more authentic and not just penis related. He’d given me twelve orgasms that weekend though. TWELVE.
“You don’t think she’ll try and turn Maria against me, do you?”
“I think Maria is far too smart to be poisoned by such bitterness. She loves you in her own way and always will.”
I breathe a sigh of relief and write down another note:
He always says the right things.
“Let’s go see Laurie,” I order, throwing away my tension and bouncing excitedly in my seat. “I really hope she’s home.”
“You didn’t call first?”
“No. I want her tics to go mental.”
“Can I record her?”
“Not if you want to leave with your nose all perfect like it is.”
He chuckles at that and I yawn loudly. “Tired?”
“It has been a really busy day. Your mom dragged me around the city, trying to remind me why I should live here again.”
His face is carefully blank. “Did she manage it?”
I shrug a little. “I really love Seattle.”
“But… it’s Los Angeles.”
“Why does everybody say it like that?”
“Because it is.”
He grins but then it vanishes.
Of course I notice and reach over to stroke his shoulder. “What’s wrong?”
“I have no right to ask,” he admits, pressing his lips together. “None at all.”
“Ask anyway.” I want to know what’s eating at him.
He inhales as though preparing himself and then exhales slowly. “Truth be told I’m terrified of the answer. Worried that maybe I’m asking too soon.”
“Just ask,” I say, grinning now because he’s just so cute sometimes.
With his hand on my thigh, he finally finds the courage. “Is there another reason why you want to stay behind? Another man perhaps?”
I place my hand over his, and reassure him, “I’m not seeing anybody else.”
He clears his throat, shifting in his seat while still driving carefully. “You and Robert…? You have chemistry, I’ve always seen it and I know that you were both intimate, I saw you kiss and verbally you hinted at more… though we’ve never discussed it since.”
I click my tongue against my palate six times and then scrape my teeth over my lower lip. I don’t know what to say and my hesitation hasn’t made him feel at ease.
“We did more than kiss, but not quite what you’re— It doesn’t matter what we did. I won’t go into details…"
He tenses, keeping his eyes on the road. My heart is hammering in my chest. I don’t want to tell him this, he doesn’t need to know, but he asked and I’m not going to lie. “Do you… feel for him? Perhaps on a similar level to how you feel for me?”
“As amazing as Robert is, I just don’t like him that way. Mainly because I’m so enamored with you.”
His grip loosens. “I shouldn’t have asked but I’m glad that I did.” We smile at each other though his doesn’t quite meet his eyes. “I feel awful for Robert, but I can’t lie and say I’m not ecstatic that your affections for me are still strong despite the fact you have done things with him.” He grits out that last part and I know he’s struggling with his temper. He wants to get angry, but he has no right to get angry and we both know it.
“You broke me,” I remind him, feeling a surge of the same anger as the memory of what he did to me and the pain that I felt…
I felt…
I felt…
I felt…
I—NO. I’m not doing that.
I speak honestly to stop that morning playing out in my mind again. “I’m terrified if I come back to you, like I did before, you’ll break me again.”
“If I could move to Seattle to be with you, I would in a heartbeat. I don’t like that I’m asking you to put this amount of trust in me. I haven’t earned it. I don’t deserve it.”
This is just such a difficult situation. As much as I want to keep blaming him for everything that happened, it’s not healthy. I need to let it go, even if I decide to stay in Seattle, it must be for the right reasons and not because I’m terrified to go back.
I tap my foot, counting the gentle thuds in sixes.
“If it’s about your job, I’ll take care of you. Or get Robert to find you a new one. You know he’s good at that. If it’s about your friends, you can commute back and forth as often as you like. If—”
“I love my job, I love my apartment, I love my friends, I love my life. Okay? But I also love you, and Laurie, and now Izabella and I are on better terms and I can see Maria again; there are a lot of reasons to come back, but it’s not that simple. Mr. Watanabe is a really great boss… no offence—”
“Offence taken,” he jests.
“—I love working for him and the firm is full of amazing people.”
“But?”
“No buts. I’m just conflicted.”
We both fall silent, my indecision over my future driving an invisible wedge between us both.
“Remember why you love me, and ask yourself if I’m worth it,” he whispers, breaking my heart with how sullen he sounds.
In a book this would be so easy, I’d move and be happy and never regret my decision. But this is my life and there are so many things to consider. This isn’t an easy decision, but any step worth taking is a tough one to climb.
“Maybe when you place a final note in the vase, you’ll know.”
I smile at him. “I know that I love you.”
“And for now, that is enough.”
* * *
As expected, Laurie is so shocked and excited to see me her first reaction is to slap me around the face. I don’t know why I’m the only one she does that to. Then she pulls my hair, all the while screaming and trying to hug me.
We bounce like we haven’t seen each other in months, not weeks, and Ezra steps around us to shake Kyle’s hand.
“I missed youuuuuuu,” Laurie growls in my ear.
“I missed you moooooorrrre,” I growl back, and we walk into her house still attached, with two very amused males guiding us to the sofa.
“Somebody make me a cocktail,” Laurie demands and we part, only to crash on the couch and hug again.
When we part for real, Kyle is mixing our drinks and Ezra is chopping limes into quarters.
“So,” Laurie says around a grin, “tell me everything I’ve missed.”
“Ezra is really sexy when he’s jealous.”
She lowers her voice an octave, dips her head, and raises a brow while speaking through the side of her mouth. “He’s really sexy when he’s anything.”
With that we both turn to look at him and sigh dreamily when he throws his head back and laughs at something Kyle said. Though Kyle is very attractive too, he doesn’t hold a candle to my Ezra.
“I’m so open to a bit of swinging, if you catch my drift.”
I narrow my eyes on her. “I will cut you.”
“Just putting it out there.”<
br />
“Slut.”
“You stole him first, you massive whore.”
I pull her hair.
“Ow. What the fuck?”
She pulls mine back, it burns my scalp.
Then we pull each other’s, yelling and laughing as we both scrap for dominance.
“Oh my God… get naked!” Kyle begs.
Chapter Forty-Four
He sings karaoke with me.
“Under the sea!” I sing comically, and the door slams shut behind me making me and Ezra howl with laughter.
I was mimicking my best friend who drank so many cocktails last night that she face-planted the floor outside of the bathroom and decided to swim across the polished wooden floor. Yep… legs kicking, arms flailing, belly bouncing… all the while singing, Under the Sea, from The Little Mermaid.
I laughed so hard I couldn’t breathe, and Ezra laughed so hard he fell off his seat.
Neither of us ended up going home and instead spent the night on Laurie’s sofa, curled together so sweetly. I’ve never been more comfortable being so uncomfortable.
We woke, I made breakfast, and then we left the two hungover lovebirds to start the day. I started mine with another note.
He holds me all night.
And another:
He loves my friends.
And a final:
He’s happy to sleep wherever I am.
“Done,” I mutter, stuffing it back in my bag, then I take the hand he holds out to me. “Let’s go enjoy the day.”
I squeal when he picks me up by my hips, lifting me high above his head.
“What are you doing?”
He drops me, kisses me, and drags me to his car. “Taking you home so we can shower, fuck, and I can convince you to stay another night.”
“I can’t, I have to work.” I pout. “The only reason I got to be here today is because Mr. Watanabe needs me on Saturday.”
Becoming His Mistress Page 37