“A couple months before the end, things changed. It was like he flipped a switch. Suddenly, he was in a great mood all the time again, and he stopped asking for sex. He even stopped trying to kiss me.”
Her eyes stung at the memory, so she pinched them closed. I will not cry.
“He was cheating on you,” Gideon surmised when she didn’t continue.
The disgust in his voice was a heady dose of validation for her bruised heart, and she almost smiled.
“I couldn’t give him what he needed, so… he found it with one of the waitresses at his brewery. When I realized the reason for the change, I confronted him and he didn’t even try to deny it. In fact, he, uh, suggested his affair was good for our relationship because I was off the hook for sex.”
“You’re serious? He actually said that?”
She nodded. Tears welled in her eyes, making the world waver, and she cursed them, hugging herself tightly. When Gideon’s arms came around her, she leaned into him, grateful for his gentle support as the tears spilled down her cheeks.
“I’ve had three years to get over it,” she said, sniffing. “And I’m over him… but I don’t think I’ll ever get over what he said. What if I’m never able to fully enjoy sex or even kissing? How can I expect a man to love me when I can’t be everything he needs?”
“Oh, querida,” Gideon whispered. “The right man will love you no matter what because he’ll know that intimacy and sex aren’t the same thing and that there are a million ways to be intimate. What we’re doing right now, for example.”
“That’s easy to say, but—”
“Erin.”
He slid his hand under her jaw and tipped her face toward his. Tenderly, he brushed the tears from her cheeks. Then, lowering his head, he pressed his lips to hers in a gentle kiss.
“I’m old enough and wise enough to know what I want and what I need from my partner, and so far, you have it all.”
It took her a few moments after he released her before she could open her eyes. Then she met his hopeful gaze and smiled. “That was nice.”
“So that kind of kiss is okay?”
She nodded.
“Good to know. Be patient with me, though, all right? I’ll try not to push you, but some habits and instincts have deep roots, and I’m likely to slip. A lot, at first.”
“Be patient with you? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?”
He shook his head. “No. I take you as you are, which means I’m the one who needs to learn where your limits are. I think we can both agree that’s where Chaz screwed up.”
She tucked her arms around his ribs and buried her face against his chest, pinching her eyes closed. How could she feel like she was being crushed beneath the weight of ineptitude while simultaneously feeling so light and free with gratitude that she feared she might float away if she didn’t have Gideon to anchor her to the log?
“In Chaz’s defense, he didn’t know.”
“That shouldn’t have mattered. He should’ve cared enough to see it wasn’t something you could help. He should’ve….” He let the words trail off, and after a moment, he cleared his throat. “Doesn’t matter now. His loss is my gain. But do me a favor, will you?”
“Um… okay. What?”
“Don’t ever take the blame for his actions again. He chose to cheat because he’s a dick. That’s it.”
She didn’t agree with him, not yet, but the conviction in his voice made her want to, and she suspected he would convince her if she gave him enough time.
“Thank you,” she murmured. “For that, for listening… for just being you.”
“That may be the first time I’ve ever been thanked for being myself.”
Her face warmed with a faint smile. “That’s a shame.”
“Isn’t it? All right, querida, now that we’ve had this deeply serious heart-to-heart, how about we have a little fun and crash a dinner party?”
Laughing, she let him pull her to her feet. Impulsively, she threw her arms around his neck. “Thank you.”
“What for this time?” he asked, folding his arms around her.
I could stay right here forever. Sighing as contentment eased the heartache, anger, and grief, she leaned back in his arms. “For making me laugh when I shouldn’t be able to.”
He chuckled at her words. “Glad I can return the favor.” He kissed the top of her head. “Come on.”
With her arm around his waist and his around her shoulders, they walked to the parking area.
She had no idea if this would last or if Gideon would really be able to settle for a woman who couldn’t be as physical as he might like, but in this moment, she couldn’t understand why she’d avoided him for the last three days. Talking to him had been so easy, and with an instinctual certainty, she understood that she wouldn’t have been able to lay herself so bare like that with Chaz. He’d never given her the sense of emotional safety Gideon had in such a short time, and the difference between the two men gave her hope.
Ten
Gideon nearly dropped the potted orchid when Erin opened the door at his knock. Dressed in a flirty ivory sundress that showed off her graceful neck and shoulders, she was absolutely breathtaking. She’d left a few tendrils of hair to frame her face and pulled the rest back in a braid. When she ducked her head with her cheeks pinkening beneath his gaze, he saw she’d tucked a pale blue silk flower into the top of it that matched the five teardrops of blue topaz that glittered on the delicate silver chain around her neck.
Since she never wore makeup, the tiny bit of eye shadow and mascara she’d applied tonight caught his attention. It was an understated effect, but it drew attention to her eyes… those incredible eyes the color of the sunlit sea frothing against the cliffs, so full of innocence and shy desire.
“Wow,” he breathed. “You look amazing.”
“You didn’t say what we were doing for our date, so I tried to find something that would work for anything.”
“I….” He swallowed and tried again. “It’s perfect.”
She caught her bottom lip between her teeth, and her eyes sparkled with his praise. “You look pretty amazing yourself.”
He glanced down at his khaki slacks and crisp white button-up shirt. He’d thought leaving the top couple of buttons undone would be a good idea—casual with just a hint of formality —but he now felt completely underdressed even though his attire matched hers well. Because his words wouldn’t cooperate, he simply thanked her and held the orchid out to her.
“It’s beautiful. Thank you.” She laughed softly. “Flowers on Friday and now an orchid. You’re going to spoil me.”
“You deserve to be spoiled.”
She stepped aside, inviting him in, and he followed her into the dining room, touched when she set the orchid in the center of her table and stood back for a moment to admire it. He wasn’t sure she’d appreciate it, but when he’d spotted it in the local florist shop, it had reminded him of his parents’ first meeting.
“There’s a story behind this,” Erin remarked. “An orchid is an unusual gift, isn’t it?”
“I suppose to most people it is.”
“But not to you.”
His lips twitched. “No, not to me. My dad grows orchids… because my mother did and because that’s how they met. He was working in the grocery store in a small town, covering for the gal who managed the florist department, and he couldn’t for the life of him figure out why this one orchid was dying. My mother happened by and told him what was wrong. Two weeks later, he proposed with that same orchid. Tied a ring to its stem.”
“What a beautiful story. Your dad sounds like a very sweet man—a true romantic.” She turned to him and slipped her arms around his neck, then pressed a feather-light kiss to his lips.
“He is.”
“His son seems to have inherited a lot of that from him.”
“Until I met you, I was beginning to think I hadn’t inherited much at all.”
“Mmm. Spoken like a true r
omantic.” She leaned back with her arms still hooked around his neck. “Two weeks, though? Seriously?”
“Seriously.” Gideon chuckled. “They were meant for each other, and they were wise enough to see it. Come on. We’re going to be late for the only part of our date I actually have a schedule for.”
“Are you going to tell me what you have planned?”
“A picnic dinner on the beach courtesy of the Tidewater Inn. And I’m going to apologize in advance for any interruptions. Liam is out kayaking the cove with Hope and your brother, and it’s possible they’ll pull in to shore to say hi.”
“There’s nothing to apologize for. I told you we shouldn’t exclude him. Remember?”
“I do. And if I didn’t know he’ll have way more fun in the kayaks, I’d feel guilty.” He dipped his head to kiss her neck. “But this is something I need to do for you and you alone.”
“I don’t ever want you to set your son aside for me, Gideon.”
“I believe that. And if I didn’t, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”
Taking her hand, he led her outside. He couldn’t let her continue down that line of thought because their conversation on Sunday had awakened thoughts and emotions he hadn’t yet had time to organize, and he was in danger of letting some of them slip. She wasn’t ready to hear any of it yet, and he wasn’t sure if it was a temporary gut reaction or something far more lasting. This was their first real date, after all—not counting the trip to Mendocino. How could he possibly know if she was the one already?
Dad knew. He knew when Mom helped him save that orchid.
One memory preoccupied his mind all the way from the Forest Haven Mobile Village through town to Tidewater Point—their beach party on the summer solstice, the day he’d met Erin. Glancing at his date and noting the faint smile that graced her features as she gazed out the windows, he remembered the moment she’d finally let go of her cool reserve. It had come right as she and Liam had put the finishing touch on the driftwood fort and erupted in gleeful celebration. He’d gotten his first real glimpse of the beautiful, vibrant spirit she protected from the world, and he’d realized with a clarity that still awed him that maybe his father’s stories of falling in love with Maria at first meeting weren’t exaggerated. In eight years, Hannah hadn’t once shown him anything like it, and in that moment watching Erin and his son, he’d seen a glimpse of the kind of life he wanted.
The next day, he’d called his lawyer to start the process of filing for full custody of Liam.
They’d reached the Tidewater Inn, so he put those thoughts on hold. He held her door open for her and offered a hand to help her out of the car. With her hand hooked around his elbow, they walked into the inn and were greeted by the owner, Liz Glass.
“I know you’re on a date,” she said by way of greeting, “but I needed to ask you if you’d be available Saturday. I need a photographer for the Sullivans’ family reunion.”
Erin politely stepped away to admire the post-sized photographs lining the walls of the lobby.
“I thought you already had a photographer booked for that one,” Gideon said.
“I did. He backed out.”
“Yeah, sure. Liam will be at his mom’s this weekend, so I’m free.”
Liz flashed him a grateful smile. “Thank you. I owe you for this. Give me a call tomorrow, and we’ll work out the details. Ah, here’s your picnic dinner. You two have fun.”
“We will. Thanks.” Gideon accepted the Styrofoam boxes from the waitress and stepped over to Erin, who was currently distracted by a photo of a stormy Tidewater Point awash in a moody gray that set off the faint peek of a ruddy sunset. “Ready?”
“Ethan said you took all these,” she remarked.
“I did. Back in college on a trip out here with Dad. He sold them to Liz.” He glanced from one photo to the next. “They were my first sale and the first inkling I had that I could make a career with my photography even though everyone thought I was nuts.”
“They’re stunning. You have an incredible gift.”
“Thank you. Shall we?”
As he drove to the northern beach access, they talked about his photography and how he’d gone from an intern for a renowned photographer in San Francisco to a partner of another in Portland to owning his own business. While it was a topic he usually enjoyed, he didn’t want to think about work this evening. He didn’t want to think about anything but Erin and showing her that she wouldn’t ever have to settle for half a relationship or none at all.
Gideon parked his SUV, but this time, Erin didn’t wait for him to play the gentleman, so he walked around to the rear of his car after handing their dinner to her. When he slung his guitar over his shoulder, piled two blankets and a pair of throw pillows on his arm, and hooked the handles of a canvas grocery stack with his free hand, she laughed.
“Wow. You came prepared.”
“Didn’t want to leave anything to chance,” he grunted, awkwardly closing the door with his elbow.
“I see that.”
They made their way through the sand dunes to the beach, and because her driftwood fort seemed as good a place as any, Gideon settled his goods inside. He spread one of the blankets over the log in front of the fort, spread the other on the sand in front of it, and propped the pillows against it. Erin sat primly on the log with the Styrofoam boxes in her lap, watching as he dug six vanilla pillar candles out of the canvas sack, set them around their picnic site, and lit them.
“It’s a bit warm for a fire yet, so these will have to do,” he remarked.
“You really are a romantic.”
“What can I say?” he quipped. “I learned from a master. And I finally found a woman who makes me want to be a romantic.”
He turned to her, set their dinner boxes on the blanket, and offered his hands to help her to her feet, then eased her into his arms. Lowering his head, he touched his lips to hers, tugging on her bottom lip as he pulled away. She followed him, and he took that as permission to kiss her again. With his senses heightened by the memory of their conversation on Sunday, he skimmed his tongue over her lips, noticed the tiniest tensing of her body, and backed off.
No tongue at all, he noted, brushing his fingertips over her cheek in a silent apology.
“Sorry,” she whispered.
“Don’t apologize. Never again—not for that. All right?”
With her lips pinched between her teeth, she nodded.
“Good. Dinner time.”
He settled their dinner boxes on the blanket and slipped a bottle of sparkling cider and two plastic champagne flutes from the canvas sack. “Owen said you don’t drink, but I wanted something festive to toast with.”
“Any more tricks up your sleeve?”
“Mmm. A few,” he replied noncommittally. He poured them each a glass of cider.
“What are we toasting?”
He lifted his drink. “To us… and never settling for half relationships again.”
She was exquisite with that shy smile gracing her features. Lifting her glass and clinking it against his, she murmured, “To us.”
They drank to each other, and Gideon liked the way she held his gaze as she did so. Despite the traumas in her past, she was still a strong woman, and he wished there was some easy way to tell her that that more than compensated for her limitations. But the best things in life were rarely easy, and words would never be enough. He had to show her.
He handed her the Styrofoam box with her name on it. “Another trick. I asked your brother what you liked to eat at the Tidewater, even though I swore I wouldn’t cheat and ask him to reveal your secrets. Cheeseburger, huh?”
The last he struggled to say with a straight face. The Tidewater Inn’s kitchen served up gourmet steaks and seafood, and with her own remarkable talents in the kitchen, he’d thought Owen was joking when he’d revealed Erin’s favorite menu item.
“What?” she asked. “They’re really good.”
“I’m about to see if I
agree. I ordered one myself, but with bacon.”
“You won’t be disappointed.”
She was right. The burger was fantastic—cooked and seasoned perfectly—and it was not the run-of-the-mill burger he’d been expecting.
They ate in silence, enjoying their meal too much to talk. Gideon finished before Erin, so he wiped his hands clean, downed the rest of his cider, and reached for his guitar. He absently strummed a slow song of his own composition, watching a pair of kayaks rounding North Point. They were too far away for him to see who was in them, but he suspected it was Hope and Owen with Liam and Daphne.
Erin finished her meal and scooted over, leaning against him with her head on his shoulder as he played. A serene contentment radiated from her, soaking into him with blissful warmth and tempting him to set his guitar aside and let his fingers play over her soft curves instead. But the kayaks were approaching quickly, and the closer they came, the more certain he was about their occupants.
“We’re about to be interrupted,” he said, resting his guitar on the blanket.
Kicking off their shoes, they wandered down the beach to the water’s edge, reaching it just as the kayaks slid onto the sand.
“Having fun?” Gideon asked.
Liam nodded vigorously as he crawled out of the kayak he’d shared with Owen. “Owen let me paddle, and we went all the way to the other end of North Star Beach. Oh, and we saw three seals and a couple sea otters!” Suddenly, he noticed Erin standing a few feet behind his father. “Oh, Erin! Wow! You’re so pretty!”
“Thank you,” she replied, leaning down to kiss his cheek.
“Tell me you guys aren’t done already,” Gideon said to Owen.
“Sunset isn’t that far away, and we still have to feed the kiddos.”
“Need a hand hauling the kayaks up to your truck?”
“Nope. You two just enjoy your date.”
Gideon beckoned his son over and gave him a hug. “You’re being good for Hope and Owen, right?”
“Uh-huh!”
“Good. I’ll see you in a couple hours.”
The Driftwood Promise Page 9