by Dana R. Lynn
The eyes he turned on her were haunted. “I know how it feels to blame yourself for someone’s death. You can’t, though. I had no idea what would happen. Neither did you. We can’t see the future. And we aren’t responsible for other people’s choices.”
Tears blinded her. The pain she’d seen in his face overwhelmed her. Needing to give him comfort, she moved close and put her arms around him. For a brief moment they comforted each other. Then he pulled back.
“Come on. Let’s keep going. Maybe we’ll find a house, someone who’ll lend us a blanket or something.”
She moved forward with him, but she couldn’t just let it go. “Is that why you decided to become a cop?”
“Yes.” He didn’t look at her. “I wanted to make it up to Ricky at first. Then I realized that being a police officer is truly my calling. I believe it’s what God wants me to do. Now I’m just trying to prove to my father that I’m not wasting my life.”
She read his intensity. What also became clear was what he wasn’t saying. Proving his worth—to his father, and maybe also to himself—was his sole focus right now. Which meant that he wasn’t prepared to become involved with anyone. She should have been relieved.
Instead, she felt hollow.
* * *
He couldn’t stand seeing her so miserable. If he had a coat to offer her, he would have. As it was, they had left everything in the truck. He couldn’t regret that, as they would have surely died had they remained in the vehicle. Still, he winced as he heard her teeth chatter again.
They had kept away from the main roads as much as possible. It had been at least an hour since they’d seen another human being. He was anxious to find shelter now. It was going on evening. The temperature continued to drop. It was probably around sixty degrees now, but the biting wind made it feel much colder. Peering at the overcast sky, he judged that they were going to be stuck in a downpour in a few minutes. The low rumbles of thunder had moved closer and louder. And the wind had picked up.
The branches above them shook and swayed alarmingly. The farther they walked, the worse it got. Overhead, a couple of birds were attempting to fly. The wind resistance was so high they were practically flapping their wings in place.
Finally, he came upon a sight that gave him relief. Up ahead was a small building. It was wooden and simply built. He knew what it was. They had come across an Amish schoolhouse. Whether or not it was still in use, he didn’t know. What he did know was that it would provide them with shelter through the storm.
As they neared the school, the sounds of someone moving around inside could be heard.
Not wanting to startle anyone, Ryan knocked on the door. Please, Lord, let them permit us to come in for shelter.
The rustling sound inside stopped, but no one answered the door. Ryan knocked again. Footsteps could be heard moving toward the door. Just on the other side, they stopped. Ryan waited, but heard no answer. Perhaps they’d scared whoever it was?
“Hello?” he called, making his voice as kind as he could. “Sorry to bother you, but we were hoping to find a place to stay during the storm.”
Silence. Feeling more than a little disappointed, he started to turn to his companion, ready to tell her they would have to keep looking. He hated to do that, looking into her pale face. She’d been a trouper, walking for the past two hours, but how much longer could she keep going?
The door opened, just a few inches, but enough for him to see the young woman inside. For a moment, he thought they’d found Leah. However, there was no sign of recognition from Elise. The woman pondered them for a moment, keeping the door firmly between them. Ryan didn’t dare to move, lest she decide they couldn’t be trusted.
Evidently, she saw nothing to alarm her, for she relaxed her hold on the door and swung it open.
“Hello,” she said, her voice soft and pleasing. “I was preparing to return to my home.”
“Please,” Elise murmured, holding out a hand in supplication. The young Amish woman turned her attention to Elise. “We don’t mean to disturb your plans. We are not from here. I fell in the creek earlier, and we’ve been walking for so long. We just want a place to stay while it storms.”
The young woman, a girl really, nodded. She stepped back and motioned for them to enter. They did so quickly. Elise rubbed her hands up and down her arms. She opened her mouth to speak, but a sudden bout of shivering stopped her.
That seemed to decide their hostess. “Wait here. My haus is just behind. I will come back.”
The girl walked out, closing the door behind her.
They were left alone again.
“Do you think she’ll be back?” Elise’s voice was almost monotone. She had to be exhausted.
“Even if she doesn’t come back tonight, at least we have a dry place to stay.”
Elise didn’t respond. She moved to a desk and sat down. Crossing her arms on the smooth wooden surface, she lay her head down on them. Her lids dropped over her eyes, the long dark lashes contrasting against the pale skin.
He moved over and sat beside her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. Maybe he could warm her up a bit.
He didn’t know how much time passed before he heard a knock. Standing, he stepped quietly toward the door. It opened before he reached it and the young woman appeared again.
He moved to help her as she had her hands full. An armful of blankets was piled high in her arms. She stepped inside, and a young boy entered behind her. He was carrying a basket and a water jug. “It isn’t much, but we brought some blankets to keep you warm and some food. I would let you stay at our home, but my mam is awful sick.”
Ryan moved to take the blankets, smiling his thanks. “I understand. This is wonderful. We appreciate this very much. Honestly.”
She ducked her head. “I’m Faith, and this is my brother, Jonas. We will be back tomorrow morning. I’m the teacher here. School starts at eight thirty.”
He could see the question she didn’t want to ask. “I’m sure we’ll be on our way before then.”
She started to leave with her brother.
“Wait!” Elise struggled to her feet.
“Jah?” Faith questioned.
“We have a pair of pictures to show you. My friend and my nephew. They’ve disappeared and they’re in trouble. By any chance, have you seen them?”
Ryan obliged and pulled up the pictures of Leah and Mikey on his phone. He showed them to their hostess and her brother. He was disappointed yet unsurprised to find that neither of them showed any sign of recognizing either Leah or Mikey.
“It was a long shot,” Ryan mused as he pushed his phone back into his pocket. “I was hoping since we know that Leah is from New Wilmington.”
“I am sorry. I know the people in my community, but there are nineteen districts in New Wilmington.”
Ryan nodded, trying not to be discouraged. He’d known it wasn’t likely that the first people they met would recognize the two they were seeking. But nineteen districts? That was quite a lot of territory to cover. And there was no way they could ask to borrow a car. Or a bike. He didn’t know much about the Amish, but he did know that some districts didn’t allow bicycles. Or anything with rubber wheels.
“I am sorry I cannot help you find your friends. But I am glad I can offer you shelter—and food.” Faith placed a basket on one of the desks. The smell of hot apples filled the air. After thanking their hosts, Ryan watched as they left before walking to Elise and placing a blanket around her shoulders. Her eyes were huge as they met his. He hated the hopelessness he could see in them.
“Don’t give up. We are close now. The fact that we’ve seen Langor here proves that we are on the right track.”
A sniff answered him. It was a poignant sound; he knew she was fighting tears, struggling with her sense of loss. Even in the darkening room, he could see the way her shoulders squared unde
r the rough blanket, the set of her jaw as she lifted her chin.
“I know. I’m trying to trust God. It’s taking all the faith I have, but I know that God is in control.”
He lifted a hand to brush away a stray curl from her forehead. As he did so, the sweet, floral scent of her shampoo tantalized him. Distracting himself, he mused on her words. He couldn’t remember not having faith, but guilt struck as he realized that he had sort of taken God’s help for granted lately.
“My mother loves to quote that verse—you know that one that says, ‘If God be for us, who can be against us?’” He made quotes in the air with his fingers.
“Romans 8:31. I was actually repeating that verse to myself earlier today as we walked.”
Admiration for the beautiful woman seated in front of him grew. Had he ever met a more remarkable person? Her strength, her determination to keep going, amazed and inspired him.
He was losing his fight against his heart, and at the moment, he couldn’t bring himself to care. But he needed to care. For her sake as much as his. He had nothing to offer her when he knew he had so much to accomplish before he could allow himself to find a bride.
A bride? Had he really just thought that? Yes, he had. In his mind, he could imagine himself introducing Elise and Mikey to his family. He could see the amazing mother she would be. Already was, in fact.
The depths of her smoky hazel eyes beckoned him.
He was drawn in. He held back for a few seconds, but then he caved, leaning in and touching her lips with his. She went still for a minute. Stiffened in shock. Then she relaxed and leaned into the kiss. It was a movement of acceptance that filled him with joy.
He acknowledged to himself that he’d been wanting to do this since the moment they’d met.
ELEVEN
The last thing Elise had expected was for Ryan to kiss her. But when he’d looked at her with such warmth and affection in his chocolate-brown eyes, all her resistance had melted. The first touch of his lips was soft. She could taste the cinnamon gum he’d been chewing earlier. He moved away slightly, searching her face to gauge her reaction before bringing his mouth back to hers for a second, deeper kiss. She was shivering again, but not from the cold. It was a chaste kiss, but she knew she’d remember it forever. Treasure it, because that’s all she could ever have from him.
When he pulled back, she could sense that their relationship had changed. She could also see that he was thinking about all the reasons he shouldn’t have kissed her. She couldn’t blame him. She was doing the same thing.
She’d sensed the strength of his love for his family. He might be going through a strained period with his parents, but the love and respect was vibrant in his voice when he spoke of them. In time, those wounds would heal. He would realize that he didn’t need to prove himself—to them or anyone else. And then, Ryan would feel free to invest himself in a relationship. A relationship that would naturally lead to marriage and kids. A relationship that couldn’t be with her. If she’d learned anything from her ex-fiancée, it was how unsuited she was for that role.
The pain of it nearly bowled her over. She had to hold on to the fact that she knew God had a plan. If only it included Ryan.
Enough! She was not one who gave in to self-pity.
To distract them both, she nodded her head toward the basket. “What’s in there?”
Relief crossed his face as he rose to bring the basket closer. Inside, there were thick slices of bread, a crock of butter, hot sliced apples, some sort of chicken and noodle soup and a jug of water, along with plates, bowls, utensils and soft cloth napkins. Elise helped herself to everything except the chicken and noodles, almost crying in relief as the hearty food settled in her cold, empty stomach. She couldn’t remember ever being as famished as she’d been today.
After they ate, they pulled out the blankets. The sooner they could get to sleep, the better. Knowing that schoolchildren would be arriving early in the morning, they needed to be up and on their way before they arrived.
Ryan settled down a few feet away from her. The night was dark. The clouds hid the moonlight. Still, she was aware of him lying a mere few feet from her. As she closed her eyes, she said a brief prayer, thanking God for protecting them both that day, and asking Him to hold Mikey and Leah in His hands.
The hard floor made for a very uncomfortable bed. She couldn’t find a position she liked. It didn’t matter. Elise was so exhausted she drifted off to sleep, regardless.
* * *
The building shook.
Elise shot upright, her heart pounding, as the room around her swayed and creaked. A bright slash lit the sky outside. Thunder crashed, shaking the room again. The rain pounded on the roof.
She could smell the fresh rain. It was a smell she’d always loved. She didn’t love it now, though. The small schoolhouse, which had seemed so secure and sheltering a few hours earlier, now seemed frail as the violence of the storm outside grew. Minute by minute, she sat in the darkness, arms looped around her knees, listening as the storm raged. The thunder would move off, only to return as a new system rolled through. Several times, she heard the crashes of falling tree limbs outside the walls of the schoolhouse. She’d lived in Pennsylvania long enough to know that nature was wreaking havoc on the landscape.
How could Ryan sleep through this? A snort echoed in the room. Elise snickered. Yet sleeping he was. Every now and then, a soft snore would emerge from where he had fallen asleep, just a few feet beyond her. Annoyance that he could sleep during the chaos while she was wide-awake dissolved into amusement. In a weird way, she was grateful for the little noises he made while he slept. The room around them was so dark, if she didn’t have that intermittent proof that he was there, she might have wondered if he’d left while she was sleeping.
Thud.
What was that? Probably nothing to worry about, and yet the amusement she’d been holding in vanished. The wind level had again increased. It whistled and moaned as the windows rattled. Inanely, she thought that she’d never realized that the Amish had glass windows.
Suddenly, she hated being alone with her own thoughts.
“Ryan,” she whispered as loudly as she could, then laughed at herself. If the storm outside wouldn’t wake him, a whisper from her wouldn’t, either. Since she was intent on waking him up, she should just go ahead and talk. She took a deep breath and said his name again, louder this time.
“Ryan!”
Another flash of lightning lit up the room. For an instant, she was able to see as Ryan bolted to a sitting position.
“What!”
She crawled over to where he was. Suddenly, though, she felt shy. And absurd. She was a grown woman. Why was she allowing an insignificant storm to mess with her mind? As the building shook again, she amended her thoughts. This was no small storm. Another loud crack split the night. She recognized the sound of a tree being blown over seconds before they heard the distinctive sound of the trunk slamming against the schoolhouse.
Elise shrieked as part of the roof was pushed inward, along with broken branches. Glass shattered as the pressure caused the windows to cave in. Instantly, the rain pelted inside, and the chill invaded the building. Ryan took charge, pulling them both over to the other side of the building. Using his phone for light, he shoved a table up against the brick chimney and motioned for Elise to slide under it, to be at least partially sheltered from the cold and the rain. He took a large blanket and covered the table with it. Elise was reminded of the tents she and Mikey would make in the living room. A few minutes later, he was under the table with her. Sitting with his back against the bricks, he pulled her to his side and covered them with several of the blankets.
Elise nestled inside the warmth of the cocoon he’d built for them. While she knew it was only a couple of blankets, the little tent he’d made for them provided the illusion of safe haven from the storm. Comforted and ple
asantly enveloped in warmth, she leaned her head on his chest, closing her eyes again as the steady beat of his heart soothed her like a lullaby. Exhausted, she allowed her lids to drift. Within minutes, she was sleeping.
* * *
What was he supposed to do now?
A cramp gripped his leg, but he was unable to stretch it out. Not without waking Elise. She’d been through so much in the past few days he knew that she hadn’t been sleeping well. The purple smudges under her lovely eyes had become darker and more vivid with each day. And if he wasn’t mistaken, she’d also lost a few pounds.
He shook his head. Of course she’d lost weight. Her nephew, who she loved like her own child, was missing; the man she believed murdered her sister was after her and had tried to kill her; and now she’d found out that some gang had decided she’d be better off dead, as well. Who would be able to eat and sleep normally?
The cramp expanded, pain radiating down his left leg, the one that had been shot so many years ago. He should have known better than to sit on a hard floor with his knees bent. This always happened. Gritting his teeth, he softly tapped the back of his head against the bricks, trying to keep the groan that had settled in his throat from escaping.
Maybe if he could shift a little, he’d be able to stretch the limb without disturbing Elise. Slowly he leaned to the right, taking his weight on his right hip and leg as much as possible. Elise shifted with him and stirred. He stilled and held his breath. She sighed and then was quiet. Gently letting out the breath he’d been holding, Ryan slowly extended his leg. The pain pulsed. He stopped for a moment, allowing the fierce ache to ease to a dull throb. Then he continued until the leg was completely extended.
With the pain no longer dominating his thoughts, he started wondered what time it was it. He reached for his phone with his other hand. For a moment, the little cave he’d made was brightly lit. It was almost dawn. Soon the sun would begin to rise. The rain had softened to a low patter, but the wind continued to howl.