“Touch yourself for me.” Her eyes widened and her hands began to quake with uncertainty. “I want to see you touch yourself.”
“I, I…” She shook her head and her eyes turned away from me. “I don’t do that.”
My cock strained against my pants when I realized she was truly pure. Untouched by any man, untouched even by herself. She was a beautiful, delicate flower, and all mine to cherish.
I pushed her shirt over her head and jeans down her thighs, guiding her hand with my own down her creamy thighs, dancing our fingertips across the elastic of her panty line. Her breathing quickened and I swore I could nearly see her heart hammering out of her chest. With her eyes soft and trusting, I pulled my hand away and urged her on with my gaze. “Slide the pads of your fingers around the top; show me where it feels good, little mouse.”
My eyes burned with barely contained lust when she did as I instructed.
“That’s it, nice and slow. Feel that?” She sighed and her eyes fell closed. “Keep going, baby. Keep swirling those fingers until you think you can’t take it anymore.” Her chest and neck heated an endearing shade of crimson, as her orgasm built in her inexperienced body. Her nipples peaked beneath the soft threads of her bra and I clenched my fists at my sides, anxious to touch her again. But this was important. This was everything.
“What are you thinking about?” My voice was thready with emotion as I slipped a hand down my pants and took my thickness in my grip. My eyes trained on her squirming form, the soft piles of her dark hair on my pillow, one hand between her legs while the other fisted at my sheets. I nearly lost it. I’d been a man starved for the warmth and comfort of her, and just when I thought I might finally break, here she was.
“I’m thinking about what you’ll feel like when you’re finally inside me,” she hummed, like a prayer as her fingers sped up on her soft little bud.
“Jesus, little mouse.” I finally lost it and crashed down onto her. Delicate fingers threaded through my hair as my lips took hers in a furious kiss. She felt so good. She felt so warm. She felt like home. I kissed my way down her elegant neck and across the soft slope of her collarbone, before my hands ran up the length of her torso and cupped her breasts in my palms.
She was heaven, hell, and my utter undoing.
I slinked down her body, tasting the inner corners of her delicate elbows, the soft skin at her wrists, the aroused flesh above her pubic bone, before I exposed her soaked wetness to my hungry gaze. I licked my lips and chanced a quick glance at her, holding her eyes while I licked one long stroke up her slit, swirling and nipping. Her breathing picked up, her eyes falling closed with a cry before her hips began a seductive rock.
“I’m going to make this as easy as I can on you.” I crawled up her form, kissing my way along her full breasts when I reached her bra. “But it’s going to hurt.” I kissed my way across her cleavage and nipped quickly at a nipple as two of my fingers slid between her slick folds and rubbed her arousal at her entrance, making sure she was ready.
Her hips bucked and her panting grew shallower as I pressed one finger inside, the searing hot sensation of her pussy throwing me off balance, causing the animal to rage down deep in my gut again. I sucked in another breath, kissing my way up her neck before finding her lips, kissing her in slow, languid strokes as I added another finger. She arched and yelped for a moment before she settled and her hips began their slow rhythm, accompanied by soft moans this time.
“You’re so sweet.” I pulled my fingers from her body and dipped them into my mouth, relishing the taste of her before my other hand worked the zipper down my pants. My move caught her attention and her eyes darted from my powerful thighs hovering over her bare body, then back up to my gaze. “Sure you’re ready for this?” I soothed, afraid she’d shake her head no and run again.
Her eyes locked with mine and melted into warm twilight pools. “Yes. I’m on birth control, my mom made me a few years ago just in case. I fought her on it but she had me in her early twenties so she insisted...suddenly I’m so glad she did.”
“Good, because I don't have condoms, but I haven’t been with anyone, Madison. There hasn’t been anyone before you, before us.” I clasped her creamy thighs around my waist, pushing the waistband of my pants past my hips and down my legs. I kicked them off one leg at a time and returned to her, skin on skin. “You’re the only person I’ve kissed, Madison. The thought of touching anyone else usually repels me, but with you I couldn’t feel more differently and you’re just so perfect and sweet I naturally assumed you probably had more experience than me…”
I darted a nose up her torso as I lined my thickness with her entrance. I dragged my thick length up her slit, making sure to rub the tip at her clit, sending her body into a series of minor quakes that had a rogue grin lifting my lips.
“So sensitive. Christ, I love that about you.” I stroked again. “Every single touch and you’re so wet for me.” My voice lowered another octave. “Just for me.”
Madison’s sharp fingernails dug into my shoulder blades as I spoke, and with each pass of my cock she seemed to work up more momentum, her hips tipping against mine, grinding and grating, chasing sweet release.
She hissed when I thrust quickly, feeling the slow stretch of her body, then stilling myself once I’d broken through, seeing the wince of pain on her beautiful face.
“Shhh… I’m sorry.” I stroked a hand through her dark auburn mane, willing my powerful thighs to keep me in place and prevent thrusting for her sake. For her sake, control yourself.
“I-I’m okay,” she whispered, but I could hear the sting of pain in her voice.
“It’ll feel good soon,” I hummed against her lips. “I promise.” I kissed her slowly, tasting her tongue and twisting it with mine as one hand roamed her supple body, the other holding me caged above her, unwilling to let her go. Finally, I had her.
My patience severed with that thought and my hips began to move in slow, tantalizing rhythm once her grip relaxed at my shoulders and her hips followed my lead. I grasped one of her calves and wrapped it around my waist, anxious to feel her all up and down my body. I needed her naked and against me, all of me, now.
With both of her legs wrapped around my waist, her ankles locked above my bare ass as I held her head in my hands and moved slowly, trying to contain the raging beast that wanted to unleash hell on her sweet body.
I groaned. “You feel so damn good. I can’t go slow for much longer.”
“Please, more.” She pushed her hands into my wayward hair and caught my eyes. “I want all of you, Kyler.”
My heart sped with her words and my mind fritzed.
“Madison—Madison.” I repeated her name as my hips took on a more sporadic rhythm and I felt her body relaxing into me, allowing me to push farther, deeper, longer. “Jesus.” I choked on the word as I bottomed out inside of her, holding myself still as I lost myself to her. My heart pumped and my breathing racked. I held still, feeling the quakes in my thighs down to the tips of my fingers, buried in her soft waves. My release shuttled through me like a rocket, all sense of reality evaporating in favor of only us, the complete fucking perfection of us.
I slowly pulled out of her, my eyes devouring the soft curves of her body as I tucked her under my arm, all rosy flesh and creamy skin. She was decadent; the sudden urge to shelter her from harm for every moment after this one was powerful.
My thoughts vaulted back to a time long ago, remembering what it felt like to be the victim of someone’s hand. I flinched, and Madison’s hands were immediately running across my scalp and down my inked muscles, bringing me back to the present and soothing me back into focus.
“Are you okay?” Her soft lilt sent my heart stumbling a few beats. I wasn’t used to a woman’s concern, or anyone’s, for that matter. It made me feel special for the first time in too long.
“Better now.” She looked up at me, wide, innocent doe eyes, and my mind eased a little. The anxiety of the past fell away and I was
suddenly focused on the beautiful woman in front of me. Keeping her happy, that was my only focus now.
Happy. It was a novel idea. I felt it in her warm eyes and her soft smile. She was mine; on some level, maybe I hoped she was sent here to thaw my cold heart. I just had to be the man she deserved.
“Will you tell me about the scars, for real this time?” catching me off guard as her fingertips whispered across the angry slashes on my knuckles.
Her dainty fingertips ran over the hate and pain tattoos.
My eyes flickered away as my thoughts were pulled back into the past, to a time I’d spent years trying to forget. “I’d rather think about only you tonight.”
“I’d rather get to know you,” she replied easily, like someone without a secret to hide.
“Someone hurt me a long time ago and I swore I’d never be the weak one again.” My fists tightened at her shoulders before I recognized that I might be hurting her and I released, clenching them instead at my sides. I swallowed the heavy feeling in my throat, thinking that at some point I’d have to tell her everything. No way was that time now, not when I had to worry about her.
She was suddenly in my space again, her arms wrapping around my naked torso. Oddly, the feeling of her was the only thing keeping me in control. My body seemed to rage like a wild animal in her presence, while for the first time in so long, my mind seemed to quiet. It was peacefully quiet. I found being around her was like inhaling fresh air for the first time. She kept the anger at bay.
Sort of.
“That’s why I don’t do people. I’m one of those people that’s better off alone. Hard to feel taken advantage of by a dog,” I mumbled, thinking I had to add something to help her understand, without sharing too much, too soon, and scaring her, or worse.
“Right. Your pound puppy best friends.” She traced a fingertip along the arch of my eyebrow. “You’re so innocent down deep, Sinclair. I can see it in your eyes.”
I shook my head, adamant that she was wrong. “Wrong. I’ll prove it to you, ask me anything.”
“Fine.” She smirked adorably. “Favorite color?”
“Black.”
She frowned. “You don’t say. Okay, bad question. Favorite female heroine in a classic novel?”
I paused, not expecting that question. I swirled a finger around the naked tip of her pert breast. “Joan of Arc.”
She burst into a giggle. “Joan of Arc?”
I shrugged. “She went into battle and slayed real monsters, not fictional ones. She confronted the beast and when the beast bit back she didn’t back down. Who needs fictional heroines when there are real life ones running around on earth every day?”
She smiled thoughtfully, snuggling into the crook of my arm before sighing softly. “I haven’t seen any heroes running around Black Mountain Academy lately.”
I threaded my fingers in her hair and placed a kiss on her head as she yawned. “I’ve got my eye on one. Now go to sleep, and dream of how sweet it will be when I kiss you awake in the morning, little mouse.”
Chapter 23
“I have little left in myself -- I must have you. The world may laugh -- may call me absurd, selfish -- but it does not signify. My very soul demands you: it will be satisfied, or it will take deadly vengeance on its frame.” ― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre
Maddy
“Stop!” Kyler shouted in his sleep.
My eyes shot open and panic held me hostage in place. The darkness in the room hushed around us like an impenetrable blanket. I tried to adjust my eyes to the light, searching for Kyler.
“I don’t want any more candy. I want to go home.”
I turned and looked at Kyler fast asleep, but his body thrashing on the bed, the sheets twisting in unrecognizable patterns around his legs. I turned on the side table lamp, the dim light casting shadows on Kyler’s face. His hair drenched, drops of sweat landing on the pillow, his body glowing with the sheen of the perspiration.
“These movies are weird. I don’t want to watch anymore. I want to go home. I want my mommy.”
The sound of his voice was haunting, not the usual hard edge but more desperate and scared, like a frightened child, unsure of what to do or what to say. His hands clung to the sheets, forming fists around the fabric, his face crushed to the pillow. I listened carefully, but his voice was muffled, muted, but I could still hear soft cries lingering in the room.
The soft cries of Kyler Sinclair in his sleep.
“Kyler,” I said softly, shaking him gently, hoping to wake him out of sleep. I knew with nightmares you couldn’t just throw cold water at someone and wake them. This I knew from the years of my mother’s own trauma. I often woke in the middle of the night to hear my father holding her or talking to her softly. I would pad over to their room, needing reassurance myself, and my dad would gently smile and tell me everything would be alright. This, though, wasn’t the same as my mother’s nightmares, though hers were horrible, this was horrific. “Kyler, please wake up.” I shook his shoulders, rubbing the dampness off his forehead.
“Stop. I don’t like it. Stop,” he shouted, causing the fear to spike in my veins.
Frantically, I started shaking him, his body moving back and forth as I used all the force I could muster. I no longer cared about how gentle I was supposed to be, all I knew was that Kyler was suffering and I needed him back here with me.
His eyes shot open but the warmth that normally lit them was now gone, instead a steel-cold blue in its place. Wherever he went when he slept, it had fortified his walls again, walls that I thought I was finally pulling down.
“Get away from me,” he seethed, voice cold, calculating, and laced with terror. The slow, methodical way he said it let me know that in that moment, there would be no reasoning with him.
I moved off the bed before noticing I was naked and slowly pulled the sheet off him and draped it around me. I turned away, unable to look in his eyes. I knew he was lashing out because he felt like he wasn’t in control, but I didn’t need to let him see the hurt on my face.
“Look at me, little mouse.” His voice was firm, and laced with drops of the unfeeling tone he used to use with me.
“Why, so you can be mean to me? Abuse me?” Keeping my back to him, I started searching for the remnants of my clothing, desperate to keep the tears at bay. I was fucking stupid. I’d opened up. I’d let him in.
I’d even given him my virginity, and this is what I had to show for it.
“Just look at me, Maddy.”
“You’ve treated me like a whore--but you didn’t buy me and I don’t need to listen to a damn thing you say.” I made sure to enunciate every word and leave the feelings out of it as much as possible.
“You’re really pretty all fired up.”
Pretty. Did he have the audacity to call me pretty?
“What’s wrong with you?!” I shouted, my temper getting the better of me as tears stung my eyelids. I flung around, losing my grip of the sheet, letting it fall and pool at my feet. I glanced down and saw the crimson stain, a reminder of what I had freely given to Kyler a few hours ago, and felt my anger rise.
How could someone who was so tender be so cruel? Then I remembered what he’d said in his sleep, and my temper lowered and shame bloomed. I probably shouldn’t have felt shame...I had a right to my anger. I deserved to be hurt and upset. A girl's first time should be sweet and the morning after she should be on cloud nine. No one deserved to feel the way he’d made me feel.
The bed creaked as Kyler got up and walked to me. Completely naked. I averted my eyes from him in all his naked glory. My mind couldn’t help wandering to the sex we’d had not too long ago.
“Why do you keep doing this, Kyler?” I asked, deflated, my head hung down. Kyler took my hands in his and we just stood there, the silence comforting in a strange way.
“Can you please look at me?”
“No,” I said, keeping my eyes fixated on the dark hardwood, memorizing the pattern of the grain. He bent down,
obstructing my view, his blue eyes now peering at me. I loved those eyes. They were so deep and ocean blue that I could get lost in them, it didn’t matter if I wanted to or not.
“Damn it, little mouse. Look at me.” Kyler grabbed my arms and forced my head up with the pull of his arms. He stood, towering over me as I gazed up, trying desperately to fight back the tears and failing. “Fuck.”
He dropped his hands and tugged at his hair.
“I’m such a fuck up. I don’t deserve to breathe the same fuckin’ air as you, Maddy. I’m so fucked up. If you knew how disgusting I was, you would run away as fast as you possibly could.” He turned his back to me, using his body to shut me down. I was tired of Kyler constantly playing with me like a yoyo.
“Fuck you,” I spat, turning and putting my clothes on. I was raw from him. From the moment I saw him all he’d done was send me mixed signals and confuse me. “Fuck you and your melancholy, emo attitude. Fuck you with your I hate my life because my mommy didn’t love me enough. Fuck you for thinking that your life is any harder than anyone else’s. JUST. FUCK. YOU.” I knew my words were harsh as I said them. But I didn’t care, not until I turned around and saw Kyler standing there, his hands in fists and a storm of rage brewing in his eyes.
I should have backed down, but I didn’t.
“I’m not scared of you, Kyler Sinclair. I will not wither and die like a flower for you. I get it. You took a naive, poor girl, duped her into caring about you, fucked her and now that the deed is done you’re going to disregard her and move on to the next idiot that crosses your path.” I walked to him, puffing my chest out and making sure my eyes held his as my index finger jabbed him in his chest. “I have to admit, the part about being a virgin was a nice fucking touch. How many times have you used that line?” I asked, turning around, not sure I wanted to know the answer. I was so ready to blast out of there with some sort of dramatic, Oscar-worthy exit, but Kyler grabbed my wrist, immobilizing me instantly.
Ruthless: Black Mountain Academy Page 10