by Liz Bradford
“I will.”
Amelia came close. “Same for me. Let me know if you need anything. I’m praying for you.”
Jocelyn smiled at them both. “Thank you.”
The group turned toward the elevator and all piled in and headed down to the main entrance to the hospital. Adam, Ella, and Amelia said goodbye and went to their cars, and Jared and Becca waited with Jocelyn while Gavin got his truck. Jared knelt down next to Jocelyn and put a gentle hand on her shoulder.
“Jocelyn,” he said, “you’re safe. Patrick is in lockup.”
“I know.”
“And he can’t get out until after his bail hearing on Monday. I made sure he wouldn’t be able to just pay the automatic fee since he’s looking at two felonies along with breaking the order of protection.”
“But if he makes bail on Monday, then what?”
“You just get some rest this weekend. And let us figure out a plan to keep you safe if he does get out on bail.”
“Thank you.”
“Becca’s going to stay with you. Based on your statement, you could use a little help cleaning up at home.”
Tears flooded her eyes. She couldn’t believe how much these people cared about her. She expected to be plastered with a scarlet A just like Hester Prynne. But these friends stood in stark contrast to how Nathaniel Hawthorne portrayed the Puritans of Massachusetts. They were not judging her and Gavin. Instead they were displaying the grace of God. More like how Jesus treated the woman caught in adultery.
Gavin pulled up along the sidewalk in front of where they waited. He jumped out and came around to her. She wiped her eyes before taking the hand he offered. Sliding his arm around her, he supported her as she walked to the truck. She climbed into the front seat and met his gaze as he stood there.
He just smiled at her. The mix of emotions in it matched her own. It was rueful but joyful at the same time. How was that even possible?
Gavin closed the door, and Becca said, “I’ll meet you guys back at Jocelyn’s house.”
He waved. Jared kissed his wife before taking the wheelchair back into the hospital. The driver’s door shut as Gavin climbed into the cab. Jocelyn reached over, took Gavin’s chin in her hand, and turned his face toward her.
“He really did a number on you too.” The bruise where Patrick had punched Gavin was deepening, the red being replaced with bands of various shades of purple.
“I’ll be fine.” He brought her hand to his lips and kissed the back of it. He let go slowly before putting the truck in gear and pulling away from the hospital.
Jocelyn relaxed back in the seat, feeling safe in Gavin’s presence.
As Gavin helped Jocelyn out of his truck, Becca pulled into her driveway behind them. He held Jocelyn’s elbow, and they strolled quietly down the front walk. The three went through the unlocked door. Gavin set Jocelyn’s bag on the floor next to the couch. He turned to find Jocelyn on the floor picking up a baby seat at the bottom of the stairs. Her body grew rigid, and her shoulders quivered, and she stifled a sniffle.
He stepped toward her. “What’s wrong?”
“He broke it. It was the first thing I bought for the baby.”
Kneeling next to her, the muscles in his shoulders grew tight. He wasn’t sure what to say. All he wanted to do was throw his fist into Patrick’s face, but that wouldn’t accomplish much. Instead he put his hand on Jocelyn’s back. Buying a bouncy seat meant she used a little of her food money, and Patrick barely gave her enough. This was a big deal.
She turned into him. “It’s so stupid to cry over it. I know it can be replaced…”
“And we will. I’ll buy anything you need for the baby. Anything.”
“Oh, Gavin, thank you.”
“We also need to get you your own bank account. You earn your paycheck, not him.”
She put the baby seat on the floor and stood. “He’ll lose his mind.”
“Too late for that.”
She nodded slightly to the side. “But I don’t even know how.”
Becca stepped closer. “All you have to do is go to the bank and tell them you want to open an account that your husband doesn’t have access to. Then go to payroll and change your direct deposit. One of us will totally go with you if you want.”
“Thanks. Adam and Ella told me to do that earlier this week too. I guess it’s time.”
Becca nodded. “You two ready for pizza? Because I’m hungry, and I’m not the pregnant one.”
“I’m starving,” Jocelyn added.
After Gavin ordered the pizza, he joined the women upstairs, taking a couple of boards that lay haphazardly on the stairs with him. The scent of Jocelyn’s jasmine perfume permeated the second floor.
Jocelyn and Becca were in the bedroom. Becca was folding clothes that were all over the floor. Gavin knelt next to Jocelyn where she was picking up fragments of glass from a broken perfume bottle and a shattered picture frame. He reached for the frame and stared at the photo. Happier times for sure. It had been taken probably a year before he and Nikki miscarried. Two years before Nikki died. He had lost his wife, but Jocelyn had lost her best friend too. He carefully shook off the rest of the glass. So much had changed, but that part of their lives had made them who they were today.
Part of him wished he could rewind the clock, but not to that picture. No, he’d rather go further back. Before Patrick even came home from the Army. Back to when he was fresh out, and a rookie on the force. To the time when he and Jocelyn had hung out. He would tell his younger self to not be a chicken and ask Jocelyn out before he lost her to Patrick. But she hadn’t had a clue. They had just been friends in her mind. He had been so afraid of messing up their friendship that he had hesitated to tell her how he felt.
What a fool! It was hard not to blame himself for everything Jocelyn was experiencing now. Maybe if he had told her she would never have fallen for Patrick, and maybe they would have been together all this time. And if he hadn’t given into temptation last fall, would any of this be happening?
Jocelyn dropped pieces of glass into a plastic trash can, tears streaming down her face. He wanted to comfort her, but she stood up and moved into the other room. He followed, leaving Becca in the master bedroom folding clothes. Jocelyn settled on the floor amid a pile of baby items. He squatted down next to her. Uncertain, he picked up the tiny pajamas and folded them into a neat pile, but she sat there with a little shirt in her hands. He let the silence hang. He didn’t know what to say.
Her voice, quiet as a mouse, broke the silence. “Did you know Patrick had a vasectomy?” Accusation dripped from her words. Her eyes cut into him.
His heart stopped. “What? I had no idea.”
“Really? You were his friend. Why wouldn’t he have told you?”
“I didn’t have a clue, Jocelyn. Do you know when?”
Her hands were shaking. “He said when he was in his twenties. All that time. I thought we had a chance, but there wasn’t one.”
“I didn’t really know him until he was twenty-seven. I’m so sorry, Joc.”
“He never wanted kids. I was such a fool, Gavin. Why did I ever let myself fall in love with him? He was all wrong for me. I tried to be a good wife. I really did.”
“He didn’t deserve you, but you tried so hard. You put up with so much more than most would. You prayed for him and tried to respect him even when he didn’t deserve anything. I’m sorry I didn’t stop it all from happening. I’m sorry I ever introduced you to Patrick.”
In that moment, her demeanor changed from defeated to warrior. “Gavin, it’s not your fault.”
“But it is. I can’t help but wonder if none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been such a fool.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I mean that when you met Patrick, I had been really hoping something would happen between you and me.”
“Really?”
He smiled. “Yeah, I had been working up the nerve to ask you out before he showed up at the pub that night, but he comp
letely took your attention, and I never got another chance.”
Her eyes narrowed as her head tilted to the side. “Weren’t you and Nikki already dating?”
“No, we didn’t start dating until after you and Patrick did.”
“Oh yeah, that’s right. I’m sorry. Would have saved us both a lot of grief if I hadn’t been so enamored with Patrick’s ‘charms.’” She shook her head.
“Maybe. But then again, would we be who we are today if that hadn’t all happened? It was losing the baby that brought me to God, and then losing Nikki drew us both closer to Him. God’s been using the pain in each of our lives to draw us to Himself.” He sat back and processed what he had said. He wasn’t sure where it had come from, but he knew it was true. God was using all the garbage to draw them closer to His heart.
Jocelyn said softly, “And I would never trade that.”
“Me neither.”
They both continued folding the baby clothes.
The doorbell rang, and Becca appeared in the doorway. “Sounds like dinner’s here.”
“Yay! I’m so hungry.” Jocelyn moved to her feet and winced.
“Let me help you.” He jumped up and supported her arms, pulling her up. By the time they were down the stairs, Becca had already paid the delivery boy. The three went into the kitchen. Jocelyn pulled three glasses out and leaned against the counter.
Becca set the pizza on the counter. “I’m gonna run in the little girls’ room.”
Gavin waited until Becca closed the bathroom door. “I’m staying here tonight.”
Jocelyn turned toward him with wide eyes. “You can’t.”
“I can’t leave you alone.” He stepped closer to her.
“I won’t be alone. Becca’s staying.”
“I still want to stay.” He took another step.
“Aren’t you tired from this week?”
“So what?”
She rubbed her arm. “It’s a bad idea.”
“You don’t trust me still?” He stepped back.
“It’s not that. If you’re here, I’ll want you to hold me all night. But we can’t.”
His chest was tight. She was right, but how was he supposed to leave her now? Jocelyn moved toward him and put her hand on his chest. Electricity shot through his whole body. He covered her hand with his. He hesitated. Acting on his impulses had put him in a lot of trouble, but the need to comfort and protect her was too strong. He pulled her to his chest. Her arms wrapped around his middle and squeezed tight. He stroked her hair. Why did she fit so perfectly in his arms if she couldn’t be his?
Becca came out of the bathroom, and they both jumped.
“Oh, don’t bother pulling apart in front of me.” She laughed. “I understand. I think it would be good if you let Gavin stay here tonight too.”
Hope flickered inside him. Maybe he wouldn’t have to leave her so soon.
Jocelyn stuck her thumps in her pant pockets. “It’s not necessary.”
The flame of hope was extinguished.
“Joc, he’s going to sleep in his truck outside the house if you don’t. You might as well let him stay inside.”
He laughed. His partner knew him too well. Jocelyn gazed up at him with an adorable smile.
The three took their pizza and drinks into the living room to watch a movie. Becca sat in the armchair, while he and Jocelyn settled on the couch. When they finished eating, he put his feet up and put his arm along the back of the couch. Jocelyn grabbed a throw pillow and leaned it against him and then rested her head on his chest. His heart soared. It felt so good to have her close, to know she was safe. He stroked her hair. Now he needed to figure out how to keep her safe.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Jocelyn rolled over and moaned. Her whole body ached. She didn’t know the last time she had been in so much pain. It felt like her body had gone through a meat tenderizer. She wanted to be able to move, but her body wasn’t cooperating. How had she even gotten in bed last night? Last thing she remembered was snuggling into Gavin’s chest. But she hadn’t lasted long.
She didn’t remember seeing the second half of the movie they had watched. She chuckled, glad she had seen it before. The rest of the movie played out in her head as she worked up the energy to crawl out of bed.
The red numbers on the alarm clock caught her eye when she finally sat up and swung her legs to the floor. Ten o’clock! How had she slept so late? She meandered into the bathroom and brushed her teeth. She wanted to take a shower but wasn’t sure she could stand long enough yet, so she wandered downstairs. She found Gavin and Becca in the kitchen with cups of coffee in their hands.
Becca saw her first. “Hey, sleepyhead.”
“Mornin.’”
“Hey.” Gavin set his coffee down and walked toward her.
She met him halfway and hugged his waist.
His arms enveloped her. “How are you feeling this morning?” He slowly released her.
“Sore. Very sore.”
Becca said, “That’s expected. We’re around today as long as nothing crazy happens, so you rest, and let us wait on you.”
“You expecting anything crazy?”
Gavin retrieved his coffee. “Well, it’s been three days since the second sniper strike…”
“And the second was three days after the first,” Jocelyn finished for him.
He nodded. “Captain wanted us to keep working today since he could strike again at any time. Okay if we work from here?”
“If that means you’re here, then of course.”
“Figured you’d say that. Jared’s on his way over in a bit with our laptops. But first, breakfast!”
“You two didn’t eat yet?”
“Nope. We both needed the sleep, too.”
“So who ended up with the couch?” She poked Gavin’s arm.
“I did,” he said.
“You didn’t let the lady, your partner of all people, have the couch?”
Becca laughed. “In his defense, after you fell asleep I went over to Caleb and Amelia’s and borrowed an air mattress.”
“I didn’t even hear you blow it up.” She walked to the counter and pulled a mug off the rack that sat next to the coffee maker.
“You were out cold.” Gavin came up next to her and lifted the carafe of coffee. “I had to carry you up to bed. You barely flinched.” He poured the coffee into her mug.
“I really was out!”
The three laughed and set about making French toast for breakfast.
About the time they were done eating, Jared stopped by. The three detectives disappeared into the little dining room, and Jocelyn went up to take a shower.
She let the hot water wash over her, easing the tension in her muscles, but her heart tensed up as the memories from yesterday replayed in her head.
Jesus, she cried out as tears intermingled with the water streaming from the shower head. I need Your help. My husband wants to kill me, or at least my baby. And probably Gavin, too. I’m clueless about what to do. Are You really here with me? Will You really help me through this? How could You love me after all I’ve done?
Tears flowed in torrents now. Somewhere deep inside she heard the words of the Lord: Let Me hold you, child. Focus on Me. Look to the cross. See how much I love you!
He had died for her because of what she had done. And He washed it away. She was cleansed and made new again because He stood in her place.
She slumped to the shower floor and cried as the water and God’s peace washed over her. No matter what came, or if Patrick tried to kill her. No matter what temptation lay before her, she knew God would hold her. He took her place because He loved her.
Several words came to her mind as she prayed. Restoration. Redemption. Plan.
Do you really have a plan in all this, God? I hope so. She remembered Romans 8:28: “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose.” Was God really going to work this for good, her g
ood? She prayed that above all, God would turn this for His glory.
Gavin raked his fingers through his hair. “What I wouldn’t give for a witness to who the shooter was.”
“No kidding!” Becca said.
They had been working at Jocelyn’s dining room table for about an hour. Jared had dropped off their laptops but hadn’t stayed long. “I wish we had more to go on.”
“Let’s get that profile written.”
“Maybe that will give us a suspect pool. Looking at the victims hasn’t done that.” A hand on his shoulder sent electricity shooting through his body. He turned to see Jocelyn standing next to him, her hair wet. “Hey! Did the shower help?”
“Yeah, it did.” Peace filled her eyes as she smiled at him.
“Good.”
“Would y’all like a white board to write on?” Jocelyn said. “I could get the one from the laundry room for you.”
Becca answered before he could. “It would be helpful.”
“Sure. I thought it’d be such a great idea, but I hardly ever use it.”
He covered the hand still on his shoulder. “I can get it.”
She smiled and stepped back. He disappeared into the little room off the kitchen that was half bathroom, half laundry room. Memories of the kisses they stole in this room assaulted him. She had been switching laundry one afternoon around Christmas last year. Shaking his head, he tried to will the memories away, but it wasn’t working. His mind wandered...
Stop. He wasn’t going to win this battle on his own. Jesus, help. He grabbed the white board off the wall and the cup of markers from the shelf underneath it. And he left the room. The memories faded.
Back in the dining room, he propped the white board up on one of the chairs. Jocelyn sat at the table with her computer open.
“Shouldn’t you be resting?” he teased.
“Ah, but there’s work to be done. And I’d rather be with y’all right now. Patrick was hardly ever in this room, so it feels safe.”
“Then by all means. We like your company, anyway. But you sure you want to hear us talking about a serial killer?”
“I’m working on the evidence for that case, so I’m getting assaulted with the images of it. What’s a few words?”