by Liz Bradford
The flame in the man’s eyes ignited again as he raised the wrench. “I said I don’t want to talk to you. Now get out of my garage.” Something clicked in this man, just like he’d seen in Patrick. Howard advanced on him.
Gavin had to act or get hit. He side-stepped and grabbed Howard’s arm and spun him into a beam that supported the loft above their heads. “Drop it!” His pulse pounded in his ears. The man fought him, so Gavin fought harder. He shook Howard’s arm, but when he wouldn’t let go of the wrench, Gavin pulled him away from the beam and threw him to the ground. Howard hit the floor and the wrench flew out of his hand. Gavin jumped on top of him and yanked Howard’s arms behind his back.
“Detective!” The warning from the officer didn’t faze him.
Gavin slapped a pair of cuffs on Howard.
“Okay, okay, get off,” Howard whined.
“Riley!” Adam’s voice snapped him out of the rage that was fighting to take over.
Gavin pulled back and stood, leaving Howard on the ground. He took a deep breath and tried to calm the rush of adrenaline that coursed through his body.
Adam came up next to him, leaned over, and pulled Howard to his feet. “Take him in,” he said to the uniformed officer. He then turned toward Gavin, “You okay, man? You looked like you were about to lose it on him.”
Gavin shut his eyes and further reined in his emotions. “Did I go too far?”
“He came at you with a wrench. I saw it all. And no, you didn’t. You did what you had to. I just saw the vein on your forehead pulsing and knew you were angry.”
“It was a bad idea for me to come talk to him.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry. I just already had a connection with his wife, so I automatically went to her. He’s never acted like this before.”
“Said he wanted to talk to Amelia. Apparently, that feisty little partner of yours can keep him in line.”
“She keeps me in line.”
They both laughed.
“Better?” Adam slapped Gavin’s back.
“Yeah. Let’s go lock that guy up for a while.”
They went back to the station and took care of Howard and all the paperwork that came along with it. The rest of the day was quiet, and for that Gavin was grateful.
When they were about to leave, Adam invited Gavin over to grill some burgers since Ella had a school function that evening.
The sun was hanging low in the sky when Adam fired up the grill.
Gavin threw the tennis ball for Rusty, and the golden retriever took off across the yard.
Adam came over and leaned against the railing a few feet from Gavin. “So, tell me how you’re doing?”
“I have no idea why I almost lost it on that guy earlier.”
“I do. But that’s not what I’m talking about. How are you doing about Jocelyn?”
The air vanished from his lungs. He pressed his lips together and looked off into the distance. How was he doing? “I…” He rubbed his hands on his thighs. “I don’t know. I miss her… like crazy.”
Adam took the ball from Rusty and tossed it. “I bet. We all do, but I can only imagine how much you do.”
“I keep expecting these feelings for her will go away, or at least die down. I keep praying God will take it away, but He doesn’t. If anything, when I pray about it my feelings only intensify. You don’t suppose God wants something between us, do you?”
“Why not?”
“Because we really messed up. It’s not right, what we did. Why would God honor that?”
“Oh, I’m not saying He’s honoring it at all! You two were out of line, but God can still use both of you, like he used David and Bathsheba’s relationship. We wouldn’t have the books of Ecclesiastes, Proverbs, or Song of Solomon if David hadn’t committed adultery with her.”
“True.”
“We can’t always see what God’s doing, but we have to trust Him and continue to seek Him. What if God does plan for the two of you to be together? What if you just didn’t wait for His timing?”
“You think?”
“It’s possible. I don’t know what God has planned, but I do know we can’t get God’s plan our own way.”
“Yeah.” Gavin rubbed his fist into his other hand.
“I also know that God had plans for Ella and me. But what if I hadn’t been a jerk in high school? What could have been? And maybe God has plans for the two of you.”
“But if we hadn’t had the affair they wouldn’t be divorced.”
“I’m not so sure about that. Patrick has always had a few loose screws. It was a matter of time before he cracked.”
“Maybe… oh man, if we hadn’t had the affair, those people would still be alive… Jared wouldn’t have gotten shot…”
“Don’t go down that rabbit hole. Maybe what happened between you and Jocelyn was the impetus, but if not that it would have been something different. You are not responsible for his actions, just your own.”
Gavin took the ball from Rusty again and chucked it as far as he could. “I’ve been talking with Pastor Cole about it all and how I can make it right. I want to marry her. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. And he said that if she wasn’t already married that would be his advice since I got her pregnant. But she’s married.”
Adam smiled.
“What do you know?”
“Don’t worry about it. Let’s get those burgers on the grill.”
“Really? You’re going to leave me wondering what you were thinking?”
“Yep.” Adam turned and walked into the house.
Gavin stood there, hands up in question.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Patrick wiped the sweat off his forehead and sat on the bench along the side of the prison yard. Another player in his plan had come to light. One of the guards had made the stupid mistake of letting Patrick know he was a source for contraband. Patrick laughed to himself. People really were idiotic. Sure, tell the guy who’s plotting his escape exactly what he can use to blackmail you.
Patrick was smart enough to not buy from that guy but asked a million questions about what he could provide. And it didn’t matter if anyone would believe Patrick’s word over the guard’s, all Patrick needed to do was make the guard think they would. It was a long game, but Patrick was already making strong headway.
Now Patrick needed to work a few more people and figure out the timing of his escape. His trial would probably be the best opportunity, but that date still wasn’t set. But he knew what he was going to do with Jocelyn and Gavin when he found them. There was a perfect spot on the Blue Ridge Highway. The place where their car had gotten a flat when the four of them had gone camping up near Mt. Mitchell so many years ago. His mind wandered back to that day. Had something been going on between Gavin and Jocelyn even then? How could he not have seen it if it had? He would have known. Right?
The self-doubt trying to creep in was unusual. He shook his head to try to get it to go away. He didn’t have time to contemplate any possible mistakes in the past but needed to focus on the future and not messing up his plan.
September had arrived. The cooler weather hadn’t, and neither had Jocelyn. Gavin had been doing well keeping his mind off her lately but the giggling coming from Becca and Amelia, who were standing between their desks, was tugging at a strange place in his heart. He missed Jocelyn’s laugh.
The giggling turned up. Something was going on, but he had no idea what. Neither of them was talking to him today. His own partner had hardly said two words to him, but she seemed to have plenty to talk about in hushed tones with Amelia.
“Okay, that’s it.” He sat up and smacked his palms on his metal desk. The two women turned to him, eyes wide.
“What?” they said in unison.
“What is going on?”
Becca’s face scrunched up in a lousy attempt to suppress a laugh.
“Joke’s on me today, huh?”
“No, no, no, it’s not like that,” Amelia said.
“Then what i
s it? Why do I feel like you’re intentionally leaving me out of whatever it is you’re talking about?”
Becca shook her head. “You’re being paranoid.”
“Am I? There are times you two have your own private conversations, whatever, but this is different.”
Amelia stepped closer to him. “Sorry, Gavin, but…” her eyes searched the air for the words.
“But what?”
A big smile took over Becca’s face. She and Amelia left him and practically skipped toward the door. He glanced over his shoulder, and his heart stopped. He turned. “Jocelyn.”
She hugged Becca and Amelia and then her eyes locked with his. His mouth went dry. Jocelyn smiled at him. It was the most beautiful smile he had ever seen. She walked toward him. Her growing belly brought his eyes down her body. She looked amazing.
He stumbled out of his chair. “Hey.” The word barely came out of his mouth.
“Hi, Gavin.”
“Hey.”
“You said that already.”
He laughed nervously. When had he ever been so nervous around her?
“I have something for you.” She opened the bag on her shoulder, reached in, and handed him a little black-and-white ultrasound photo.
His heart did a flip. “Thank you.”
“If I had known they would do an ultrasound at my appointment today, I would have had you come.”
He smiled at her, but the tightness in his throat kept any words from coming out.
“Gavin”—she looked up into his eyes—“I’m ready to talk when you are.”
“Me too. You up for a walk?”
She nodded.
“Hey, Sarge, is it okay if—”
“Absolutely,” Jared said from his desk.
Gavin grinned at Jocelyn as she turned toward the door. All of a sudden, he realized what Becca and Amelia had been keeping from him. He chuckled.
“What’s so funny?”
“Becca and Amelia have been super secretive today. I’m guess you have something to do with it.”
“Probably. They’re throwing me a baby shower this weekend. Part of why I came back to town.”
He pushed the squad room door open and held it for her. His stomach dropped. “Are you headed back to Atlanta then?”
“No. I’ve had the time away I needed. I’m ready to be back in Hazel Hill.”
Relief washed over him. “I’m glad to hear that.”
She smiled. They walked across the lobby, and again he held the door for her. Once outside, she remained quiet as they strolled down the sidewalk. He wasn’t sure what to say either, so he waited for her.
“Gavin, I… uh… I’m not really sure how to say what I’m thinking… it feels so awkward. And that’s so weird. It’s never been awkward to talk to you.”
“Just say what you’re thinking. Our best bet is to be honest, no matter how weird it could be.”
“Yeah. I just wish I knew how you felt before I said my thoughts.”
“I understand. But I don’t want mine influencing yours.”
She laughed. “Exactly!”
“Well, we’re at an impasse. One of us is going to have to go first.” His nerves fell away. This was the woman he loved. He had no need to be nervous around her.
She blinked. “Fine then, I will. I’ve spent the last two months grieving the past and embracing God’s grace. And there is one thing I’m sure of coming out on the other side.” She stopped and grabbed his arm, pulling him to a halt. They turned and faced each other. “I know for sure that I love you.”
Warmth filled his body. He stared at her in wonder.
Fear creased her face. “Say something.”
“Sorry.” He chuckled softly. “Jocelyn, nothing has changed for me. I’ll always love you, and I’ve missed you like crazy.” He closed his eyes as his smile faded. He was filled with resolve. He didn’t want to walk in sin anymore, not even in a gray area. “But as long as you’re married, we can’t spend any time together.” He pressed his lips together and slowly opened his eyes.
A huge grin revealed her teeth.
“What?”
“The divorce is final. That’s part of why I’ve decided to move home.”
A weight disintegrated from his heart. “Really?”
“Yeah. Has been for a few weeks.”
“Thank You, God!”
She giggled.
“Did I say that out loud?”
“Yes, yes, you did.” She shook her head.
“Can I hug you then?”
“Yes.” Her face went serious again, and she held up her pointer finger. “But no kissing.”
His heart seized. He wanted nothing more than to kiss her. “Okay…”
“Not unless we get married.”
“That could be arranged.”
“Cool your jets, mister.”
“If I must.”
She laughed, and it was music to his ears.
Jocelyn sighed as she climbed back into Gavin’s truck. He had taken the day off and spent it with her apartment hunting. But, so far, they’d had zero success. The day had started so promising, but now she was just depressed.
Gavin got in the driver’s side. “Maybe the next one will be better.”
“While I appreciate your optimism, I don’t share it. That place was horrible. Apparently, I can’t afford anything in this town.” Tears pushed their way out of her eyes despite her effort to blink them back.
“Hey, it’s going to be okay.” He reached over and stroked the hair away from her face. “Let’s go look at that last place, maybe it’ll be a diamond in the ruff.”
“But it was the one place that didn’t have a short-term lease option. I don’t want to make a long-term commitment.”
“Let’s go look at it.”
“Okay.”
Gavin drove to the next location, and fifteen minutes later the landlord was walking them up two flights of open cement stairs to a third-floor apartment.
“Only have a third-floor unit, and no elevator?” she asked as she struggled up the last few stairs.
“This is all I’ve got.”
She rolled her eyes and followed the landlord into the apartment with Gavin behind her. Stale cigarette smoke assaulted her nostrils sending her stomach into an uncomfortable spin.
You have got to be kidding me.
“Look around. I’ll be back in a moment,” the landlord said.
She lifted her hand over her nose and walked farther into the apartment. As if the smell wasn’t bad enough, the stains on the carpet and walls didn’t sit well with her stomach.
“Gavin, this place is awful. It’s worse than the last one, and I saw a cockroach there.” Her body shook as she started to cry.
“Hey, it’s okay.” He took her into his arms. “You know, it’d be simpler if you could move in with me, then I could help with the baby in the middle of the night.”
She leaned out of the hug to look at his face. “You know that isn’t okay. We’d have to get married first.”
“Then why don’t we?”
She stepped out of his arms. “This baby is coming in just over a month.”
“So?”
“You want to elope?”
“Why not?”
She didn’t have an answer, so she wandered across the apartment and looked in the bathroom. “Don’t you care what other people think?”
“No. Not to mention it’s a little late for that.”
She rolled her eyes and walked back toward him.
He raised one eyebrow at her. “You’re telling me you wouldn’t want to get married sooner rather than later?”
“I didn’t say that. I just want to make sure it’s okay.”
“You’re the one who said you resolved that it was.”
“Well, yes, eventually.”
He took her by the shoulders. “I know how we can settle this.”
“How?”
“I’m meeting with Pastor Cole this afternoon. Come with me. And l
et’s ask him for his advice.”
“Fine. Because I’m not living in this place either. My standards aren’t that high, but this is disgusting.”
“Wait, you’d only marry me because you need a place to live?”
“No. I didn’t say that.”
“Sounded like it.”
She squinted her eyes, pursed her lips, and shook her head.
Gavin teasingly flipped her ponytail and then pulled his phone off his belt and punched in the number. She looked at him sideways.
He said, “Hey, Cole, it’s Gavin. Would you be able to meet a little earlier today?” He paused. She playfully rolled her eyes at him. “Jocelyn’s back in town, and I’d like her to join us.” He listened again. “Great. We’ll see you shortly.” Gavin hung up and winked at her.
They left that last wretched apartment and went straight to the church. As they walked up to the building, curiosity filled Jocelyn. “Have you been meeting with Cole often?”
“Yeah, right after you left, we started meeting weekly.” He sighed.
“There’s more?”
“You see right through me, don’t you?”
“Not quite. I had to ask.”
He chuckled. “He had me step down from serving with the youth.”
Her heart ached for him. “Oh, Gavin, that must be hard. I know you really love working with them.”
“It was the right thing, though. Yeah, it hurt, but what hasn’t lately?”
She reached over and took his hand. Electricity shot up her arm as he gripped her fingers tightly. They entered the building hand-in-hand. Gavin knocked on the pastor’s office door.
Their shorter, stocky pastor with a bushy beard opened the door. “Gavin!” The men hugged and then Pastor Cole turned to Jocelyn. “It’s good to see you, Jocelyn.” He gave her a brief hug and then added, “Pregnancy looks good on you. Let’s sit. I’m so glad you decided to join us today.”
“Thanks,” was all Jocelyn was able to get out. The three of them sat, Gavin and Jocelyn on a couch and Pastor Cole in a chair across from them.
“How was your time in Atlanta?”
“Really good. I feel rested and rejuvenated, despite the tiredness that seems to come with pregnancy. But God really did a work on my heart while I was there. I’m not sure how much you know about my uncle’s story, but he experienced a situation similar to what we,” she looked over at Gavin, “have been through and has come out restored with God and Adam. I experienced a lot of healing while I was there under Uncle Steve’s counsel.”