An Autobiography or the Story of My Experiments with Truth

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An Autobiography or the Story of My Experiments with Truth Page 58

by M K Gandhi


  In bidding farewell to the reader, for the time being at any rate, I ask him to join with me in prayer to the God of Truth that He may grant me the boon of Ahimsa in mind, word and deed.M11

  Seven-year-old M.K. Gandhi, Porbandar.

  With elder brother Laxmidas (L), Rajkot, 1886.

  With friend Sheikh Mehtab, Rajkot, circa 1886.

  As a barrister: wearing the London Vegetarian Society badge, Johannesburg, 1906.

  With his wife, Kasturba.

  With C.F. Andrews (L) and W.W. Pearson, 1914.

  With the Indian Ambulance Corps during the Boer War (1899–1902).

  With the Indian Stretcher Bearers Corps during the Zulu Rebellion, 1906.

  Gandhi and Kasturba with fellow settlers at the Phoenix Settlement, Natal, 1906.

  With Hermann Kallenbach (on Gandhi’s left) at Tolstoy Farm, 1910.

  Gandhi with his secretary, Mrs. Sonja Schlesin, and Mr. H.S.L. Polak in front of his office in Johannesburg, 1905.

  A portrait of Hermann Kallenbach, ‘The Owner of Tolstoy Farm’, published in Indian Opinion on 5 August 1911 in recognition of his contribution to the Satyagraha Movement.

  Gopal Krishna Gokhale with Gandhi, Kallenbach and other members of the Reception Committee, Durban, 1912.

  A page from the handwritten constitution of the Natal Indian Congress.

  A page from Mahadev Desai’s manuscript of his translation of An Autobiography: Chapter XXII, ‘Comparative Study of Religions’, Part II.

  A copy of the menu for the farewell dinner hosted at Johannesburg.

  Indian Opinion, 14 January 1905.

  Mahadev Desai’s translation of An Autobiography commenced with the 3 December 1925 issue of Young India.

  A page with testimonies collected from the peasants during the Champaran Satyagraha, 1917.

  The 29 December 1925 edition of the Gujarati newspaper Navajivan.

  A note in one of the volumes of the first edition of An Autobiography, from Mahadev Desai’s personal collection of books.

  The first Satyagraha Ashram at Kochrab, 1915.

  People marching on the street during the Non-cooperation Movement, 1919.

  With Mahadev Desai at Sevagram, January 1942.

  M1 completed one foolscap sheet

  M2 conflagration

  M3 what I began remained incomplete. Then I got involved, one after another, in such affairs which ultimately gave me my place in Yeravda. Bhai

  M4 sent him a reply

  M5 commence the autobiography

  M6 I would have certainly written the autobiography there had I the good fortune to go through my full term of imprisonment at Yeravda. But I still had one year before I could reach there. Before that, no way could I have commenced the autobiography, hence it remained unattempted.

  M7 demand

  M8 I do not have that much time all at once. If I write, I can only write for Navajivan.

  M9 decision and now I have the opportunity to write the autobiography

  M10 As I arrived at this decision, a pure and unsullied associate gently spoke thus to me on Monday, my day of silence: ‘Why do you intend writing an autobiography?’

  M11 your activities in pursuance of these principles?

  M12 But, do I intend to write an autobiography?

  M13 I would consider that narration faultless

  M14 people

  M15 because they are seen by all

  M16 There are certainly some things that arise and find repose in the soul, it is beyond my capacity to write about them. In my experiments the spiritual is moral, religion is morality; morality observed from the perspective of the soul is religion.

  M17 or remains dispassionate, if not doubtful, about the truth of his own conclusions. Such is my claim with regard to my experiments.

  M18 But I do not ever wish to make a claim that conclusions thus arrived at are final for all, that they are true or only they are true.

  M19 I have given the primary title ‘Experiments with Truth’ to this endeavour

  M20 terrible

  M21 the readers of Navajivan, etc., who constitute my world

  M22 means

  M23 a little soul

  M24 autobiographical writings

  M25 attractive

  M26 According to the measure that I wish to use for judging myself, the standard that all of us should use to measure ourselves,

  M27 Whom I look upon as the provider of my salt

  M1 twice in succession

  M2 After ceasing to be the Prime Minister of Porbandar he became

  M3 Sahib

  M4 Sahib

  M5 a thousand

  M6 worship and prayers

  M7 we would see the Sun and exclaim, ‘Ba, Ba, the Sun can be seen’; and Ba would come out hurriedly but by then the Sun would have disappeared

  M8 courtly matters

  M9 Queens’ quarters

  M10 to abuse our teacher

  M1 village

  M2 period to my teachers or having made any friends

  M3 be their judge

  M4 no fondness for

  M5 I played that melting tune on a concertina. I had a fondness for playing the concertina

  M6 this play in my mind hundreds of times

  M7 ordeal

  M1 children of twelve to thirteen

  M2 my marriage at the age of thirteen

  M3 the community feast

  M4 Won’t it be better to have such flurry and bustle once instead of three times?

  M5 marriage would shine forth

  M6 three marriages were held together

  M7 got to know that marriages were to be held

  M8 these details

  M9 a favourite of the ruler, hence more in bondage

  M10 Bandages on the hands, bandages on the back.

  M11 Father. But was I any less devoted to the passions? Passions here does not mean only sexual desire but all cravings.

  M12 I do not remember having asked my wife as to who had coached her. I can still ask her. But, I have not the least desire to do so.

  M13 know that I have a hazy recollection of being afraid of each other

  M14 But is coaching really necessary?

  M15 are

  M16 played the husband

  M1 I had passion for truth

  M2 these good thoughts

  M3 ‘If I should observe the vow of being faithful to my wife, so should the wife pledge to be faithful to me.’

  M4 From ‘to observe’ I deduced ‘to enforce observation’. And if I had to enforce observation, I should keep a watch as well.

  M5 such imprisonment

  M6 The more restraints I placed on her, the more liberties she took

  M7 sentiment

  M8 that we wholly merge with one another

  M9 sentiment

  M10 discontented with

  M11 sentiment

  M12 sweet, childish prattle

  M13 were these ideas of mine

  M14 how was my lustful love to allow me to teach?

  M15 even look at

  M16 how was one to talk to her?

  M17 child

  M18 from the age of thirteen to nineteen

  M19 meanwhile, I had fairly awakened

  M1 My conduct or studies were never criticized in them.

  M2 Any

  M3 I was considered deserving of punishment

  M4 my dislike was wrong

  M5 Another

  M6 I requested to be exempted from exercise so as to serve my father.

  M7 Gimi Sahib

  M8 I chose to walk instead of doing gymnastics and for that reason perhaps I have not paid penalty of not exercising the body, but

  M9 pearl-like

  M10 can one add a rim to a perfectly baked clay pot?

  M11 Then his handwriting would be like a printed letter.

  M12 some

  M13 would feel that I should give up trying to do two standards in one year and revert to third standard

  M14 tolerated w
hatever the students did

  M15 ‘At least consider whose son you are.

  M16 I was ashamed.

  M17 Sanskrit scriptures that I do

  M18 child

  M1 I have already said that I had few intimate friends in the high school.

  M2 wife, all three, found this companionship disagreeable. How was I, a proud husband, to heed my wife’s warning? I would not disobey my mother. I would certainly listen to my eldest brother.

  M3 intimate friendships

  M4 Do our teachers and other distinguished people who eat meat do so without awareness?

  M5 Such arguments, adorned with many examples, were presented to me many a time.

  M6 been polluted.

  M7 I would not venture out in the dark.

  M8 melted.

  M9 Not all readers would comprehend the meaning of this decision—of this venture.

  M10 by conscious effort or otherwise, I was a servant of Truth

  M1 I must not lose courage

  M2 tasty

  M3 Moreover, such meals cost money. I did not have even a bad coin, hence could pay nothing.

  M4 I have, to this day, no knowledge of where he found it.

  M5 lie

  M6 Each time I said so, it pained me.

  M7 their sons

  M8 meat-eaters, lightning would fall over them

  M9 polluted

  M10 my pollution

  M11 debauched conduct

  M12 I imprisoned myself in that house. But he whom God wishes to save remains pure in spite of his desire for a fall.

  M13 room. I lost speech. Deep in shame, I sat stunned with the woman on her bed, but remained tongue-tied.

  M14 circumstances

  M15 from experience that many circumstances intercede and he is saved

  M16 these have hitherto not been resolved and it is difficult to say if they can be resolved with any finality

  M17 believing his stories

  M18 Such is the one-sided justice available to her.

  M19 dealt such justice to her

  M20 pity myself for

  M1 We sought the evening hour.

  M2 we lacked the courage to eat the poison

  M3 the stealing of cigarette stumps and the servant’s coppers was what

  M4 At the time of the failing with regard to smoking

  M5 The armlet was cut

  M6 lest he should be pained and strike his head in anguish

  M7 pearl-drops, like shafts of love, pierced me. I was purified

  M8 Rama

  M9 It is impossible to measure the power of such all-embracing ahimsa.

  M1 to

  M2 barbers, etc.

  M3 doctor

  M4 At last, the English doctor recommended a surgical operation as the only remedy.

  M5 bottles

  M6 any inkling

  M7 told me, ‘You go, now I will sit.’

  M8 What was the use of my remorse now.

  M9 his feet, but, instead I had to hear from my uncle, ‘Bapu has left us.’

  M10 ‘Make preparations.’

  M11 at the hour of service

  M12 child

  M13 What other outcome could there be?

  M14 parents or child couples

  M1 but did not receive education of religion

  M2 liberal

  M3 did not induce faith in me

  M4 Ramanama

  M5 power

  M6 In the atmosphere of

  M7 leucoderma

  M8 eradicated his leucoderma, root and branch

  M9 any disease

  M10 quite without any effort, I received training in equability towards all sects. I learnt to respect all sects of Hindu religion

  M11 he would even invite them to receive offering of food from us

  M12 sense of equability

  M13 a Christian missionary

  M14 the preaching

  M15 a coat, pantaloons and an English hat

  M16 equability towards

  M17 all morality is contained by Truth.

  M1 The same was my lot.

  M2 I did not know anything there.

  M3 If anyone amongst you brothers wishes to keep Kaba Gandhi’s gadi, it cannot be had without education.

  M4 he should be made to bear the burden of keeping the gadi

  M5 education there is easy

  M6 no difficulty

  M7 I was scared of the difficulties of the college. I said, ‘It would be very good if I were sent to England. It does not seem that I would pass the college quickly.’

  M8 there are any obstacles.’

  M9 And could a young man like me be sent so far away?

  M10 he is particularly partial to uncle

  M11 the Sahibs

  M12 They are almost naked in their dress.

  M13 go happily!

  M14 My eyes fell on

  M15 But a hundred obstacles arise before a worthwhile task is accomplished. I could not leave the port of Bombay so easily.

  M1 answerable to them

  M2 crossing the seas

  M3 Sahibs

  M4 notwithstanding the decree of the caste, he would not prevent me from going to England

  M1 England

  M2 In the steamer I did not experience the sea in the least.

  M3 ‘English cannot be considered our language, and there are bound to be mistakes, yet one should speak it freely,’ he would say.

  M4 compassionately

  M5 We completed the voyage somehow and

  M6 black attire

  M7 confounded

  M8 He teased me affectionately.

  M9 in India it is customary to address Sahibs as ‘Sir’, which is unnecessary

  M10 as ‘Sir’

  M11 I had little knowledge as to what speech and action would cause a possible breach of etiquette. Moreover, there were restrictions on food and drink.

  M1 good conduct

  M2 How astonishing!

  M3 fine

  M4 live freely

  M5 sprouted wings

  M6 assuaged my hunger

  M7 hitherto

  M8 all should be meat-eaters

  M9 Now I was eager to remain a vegetarian and make others do likewise.

  M1 In ‘Civilized’ Attire

  M2 described the dietary practices and ideas of learned persons, incarnations and prophets from different ages. He also tried to prove that Pythagoras, Jesus, etc., were vegetarians.

  M3 religious motive became supreme

  M4 mingle with

  M5 in the midst of hundreds of diners

  M6 The friend understood. He asked me in irritation, ‘What is it?’

  I replied softly and with hesitation: ‘I wish to inquire, is there meat in this?’

  ‘This kind of barbarism will not do in such a restaurant. If you still wish to quibble and cavil

  M7 smaller

  M8 that incident

  M9 It neither caused a breach in our relations, nor caused any bitterness.

  M10 barbaric

  M11 would cultivate civilized conduct and equip myself through other means of mingling with society and thus cover up the oddity of my vegetarianism. For this I took the course which was beyond my capacity and was superficial, of cultivating civilized conduct

  M12 kindled ten pounds for

  M13 where fashionable people get their clothes tailored

  M14 one got to see a mirror on the day one got a shave

  M15 But this dandyism was not enough. Does civilized attire make of us a civilized person? I had learnt of other outward charms of civilized conduct, which I wished to cultivate. A civilized man must know dancing. He must know passable French because French was the language of England’s neighbour France. It was also the national language of all Europe where I desired to study. Moreover, a civilized man must know how to make eloquent public speech.

  M16 melody and rhythm

  M17 consigned

  M18 Bell Sahib

  M19 me civilized
>
  M20 prepare myself to join the profession

  M21 me civilized

  M22 We had become somewhat friendly. I spoke to her about my insensate condition

  M23 free myself from the snare of dance, etc.

  M24 dandy-ness

  M1 in public life funds

  M2 Let every youth keep a careful account of the little money he has and he would, like me, experience in the future its benefit for himself and the public.

  M3 how much money I should spend

  M4 Which involved expenses on carriage. If there were a lady companion, she could not be allowed to pay for the expenses.

  M5 change lodging in different suburbs

  M6 had to spend on

  M7 study something else as well

  M8 expense. The course there was long. I could not stay longer than three years

  M9 second

  M10 question

  M11 second

  M12 civilized

  M13 though I see it now

  M14 poverty

  M15 the strained circumstances and generosity of my brother

 

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