There’s a pause, and I notice Tyadin’s lip twitch. Holding back a smile. “Don’t tell me... You two shared a stag?" Tyadin asks, his eyebrows rising.
"Hush," Caelynn says, and we both ignore his snort.
The trees thin, the pathway becomes uneven and covered in weeds. There's very little reason for any fae to travel this direction. We all give the Schorchedlands a wide berth whenever possible. Who wants to travel near hell? No one. At least not anyone with good intentions. Of course, there are three times each year that the spirits inside can be beseeched. Living fae can make bargains with wraiths to do their bidding in exchange for temporary freedom from their hellish cage. But those kinds of deals aren't common.
Our party pauses, standing side by side at the edge of the forest. In front of us lies a plain of scraggly yellowed grass for a full mile before the huge wall of thorn shoots into the sky, shadowing everything around it for miles. No wonder the forest felt so bleak. The wall might be a lively bright green, but it's so imposing it pulls life from everything nearby until there is nothing left.
"All right, let’s get this over with,” I say, and I press my uncomfortable mount forward.
I hop off of Killian once he won’t walk any closer to the thorn wall. This is our fourth trip here, you’d think he would be used to it by now. As useful as a mount like him would be, I’d never expect an animal to follow me through the walls because it would mean certain death.
Without looking back at my companions, I walk to the small opening beneath the red thorn arch. I step into the little cove. Thorns over my head send anxiety shooting through me, but I keep my chin high, determined.
I slit my forearm, wincing at the pain, and I press my hand over the red X. “I come to complete my mission.” I tell the gates.
There’s a long hiss as if a spirit within the wall is angry with me. Annoyed, is more likely, I suppose. How many times must it say no before I’ll get the point?
You may not pass.
“Why!” I yell at it. “Just let me through!”
You have completed your quest.
I swallow. That’s new. What does that mean?
Suddenly, my body is thrown from the vine cove and onto my butt in the middle of the field of deadened grass.
Tyadin holds out a hand to help me up. “Well that’s rude,” he says.
“It’s annoyed with me.”
“What did it say? The same message?” Caelynn asks.
“No. This time is said ‘You may not pass. You’ve completed your quest.’ Which obviously, I haven’t.”
Caelynn narrows her eyes and purses her lips. “Didn’t I hear the scourge had stopped spreading?”
I nod. “It hasn’t spread in two weeks.”
“Maybe it knows you don’t need to enter because the curse has already ended? Maybe it’s finished, and everyone will just assume you did your job.”
“Sure, until it hits again and I look like a fool.”
She pulls in a long breath through her nose. Then, she taps her fingertips on her knee and begins to pace.
“I’m going to do a quick pass down the line of the wall,” Tyadin says, and then guides his pony away from us.
“You really think it’s over? Just like that? That easy?”
Caelynn laughs. “Life is never that easy, huh?”
“Never.”
“We’ll keep thinking, okay?”
“I know. I didn’t actually expect the gate to just suddenly let me in. It’s just frustrating. I feel... stupid. Like I have to be missing something so obvious.” I shrug, trying to keep the bitterness from reaching my chest. I don’t need to feel those things, not now. I don’t need to let the tears fall. Not again. Not in front of her.
Rev
“So,” Ty says, lying back on the red velvet couch, arm hitched behind his head. “You and Caelynn.”
I raise my eyebrows but say nothing. We’d spent the last few hours reading through more books. Caelynn left an hour ago to go rest. She hadn’t slept much over the last two days, so we essentially pushed her out. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out instead of napping she’s reading the same books over again in her room.
I take another bite of cucumber and cheese from the plate Tyadin had brought for us and ignore his prying question. We don’t have many meals in this palace as it’s more of a distraction than anything. We aren’t the only guests causing a commotion, so we only head to the banquet hall when we require a full mental break from our endeavor.
“What’s going on there?”
“Nothing. She’s my ally. I needed help, so she’s helping.”
Tyadin chuckles. “She’s your fated mate, Rev. There’s no such thing as just friends—or allies, whatever you want to call it—with your fucking soulmate.”
I grind my teeth. “It’s complicated, yes. But what am I supposed to do? She’s a convicted criminal that’s hated by everyone. We have no future together even if I could forgive her.”
“Could?” Ty sits up, looking me right in the eye. “You’re telling me you haven’t already forgiven her?”
“She killed my brother, Ty,” I say through gritted teeth.
“Why?” he asks calmly, his eyes never leaving mine. A challenge.
Is he serious right now? Anxiety crawls in my gut.
“There was a reason, wasn’t there?” He crosses his arms. Damn nosy fae-dwarf...
I look down at my folded hands and don’t respond.
“Fate doesn’t make that big of a mistake, Rev. There’s meaning behind all of it. I don’t know her whole story, but I suspect you know more than I do. I can see it in the way you look at her. I can see it in the way you’re comfortable around her. How you look to her for help and confirmation. How you only decided to trust me with this,” he waves vaguely, “at her prompting.”
My eyes flash to his, but he gives no sign he’s upset. “How did you know about that?”
“Put two and two together. You wouldn’t have come if not for her.” He shrugs. “It’s fine. You have a hard time trusting. This is hard for you.”
I press my fists to my lips.
“My point is that you trusted her.”
“So what?” I finally admit, the pit in my stomach growing.
“So, you wouldn’t trust her like that, mate or not, if you still hated her for those actions a decade ago.”
I swallow. “What does it matter? I don’t hate her. I trust her more than I should. But there is no future for us. The magic of fated mates is not that powerful, Ty. Once I secure the cure, she’ll be banished. And even if that wasn’t true, do you think the Luminescent Court people could ever accept her as their queen?” I let out a bitter laugh.
“You’re embarrassed of her? You don’t want them to know?” Ty guesses, and I stand suddenly, the tension in my shoulders growing to the point of pain.
“There is no hope!” I say loudly. “So, why put that wedge between me and my people? Why put us through that pain? It’s not worth it.”
Tyadin leans forward, his hands are folded at his chin and pointer fingers over his lips as he looks thoughtfully at the table between us. He’s quiet for a long while.
My heart pounds hard. Part of me wants to tell Tyadin off. Tell him to mind his own damn business. But I know he means well, and the truth is I don’t want to lose another friend. So, I swallow down my anger and pain, and I close my eyes tightly.
“It would be worth it, if it was me,” Ty says quietly, finally breaking the silence.
“You’ve got a crush on Cae?” I ask lightly, successfully breaking my own anxiety and his as well, apparently, because he chuckles. It fades quickly, though.
“I saw my mate in that orb too,” he tells me, and I take my seat, leaning back and waiting for him to continue.
“And?” I prompt.
His eyes flash to mine. “I don’t know her. Never seen her. But now her face is in my mind all the time. When will I meet her? Will I ever get the chance? I spend a lot of time thinking about that.”
I lay my head back on the couch, looking up at the stone ceiling.
“And when I see you with Caelynn... I sometimes put myself in your place. I can see how much it would hurt. How confusing it could be. But I know that even if my mate had done something terrible, I’d want her. Maybe I wouldn’t give up everything for her—or maybe I would, I don’t know. But I know I’d steal what moments I could. I’d want the chance to... at least know what it feels like.”
I blink back tears and then clear my throat. “I have to live the rest of my life without her,” I say slowly, eyes closed. “I’d rather not know what I’m missing.”
“If it were me,” Ty says slowly. “I’d rather die fighting for my dreams than live with regret and wonder what if.’”
“Damn it, Ty.”
“Does that not also count for broken hearts?”
I shake my head. “It’s different.”
“Yeah,” he says, his tone making it clear he doesn’t at all mean it. “It does make me wonder, though.”
“What?”
“The books said the gate would only let people enter the Schorchedlands if they sincerely asked, with no coercion. What if... what if part of you doesn’t want to go?”
The ache in my stomach grows, but I don’t speak as his words sink in.
“Once you go inside, you lose your chance. You either die inside or you succeed. If you come back out with the cure, Caelynn leaves forever. The moment you enter those gates, you lose her.”
I press my eyes closed.
“Maybe the gates can feel that. The hesitancy.”
“I don’t have any hesitancy,” I say, my voice weak. I haven’t ever, not once, thought those things. I haven’t wished for a chance to be with her. I haven’t feared the day she’d leave. So, I don’t buy his theory but...
“Are you absolutely sure?” he prods. “When you make your request to the Wicked Gates, is your heart completely convinced it’s what you want? Not just what you’re told to do? Because that was clear, you can’t be forced into it.”
I nod. “Maybe that was the whole reason for the trials. To make sure the person chosen to be savior really wanted it. Maybe I failed in that part.” I swallow.
I take in a long deep breath, and Ty just watches me expectantly.
“All right, it’s worth a shot. Convince the gates I want to go in. I do. I want to be the savior. I want to prove my father wrong. I want to take my place in my court, maybe even the High Court, with or without my father’s support.”
“Maybe another trip to the thorn wall is in order?”
I’m not looking forward to it, but I steel my heart, preparing myself. No stray thoughts of the mate I’ll never have. No more torturing myself with her closeness.
It’s time for me to fulfill my destiny.
Caelynn
Two days full of a shit ton of reading, and I’m no closer to helping Rev get through the gates to hell. If only that were as good as it sounds.
But Rev and Ty seem to have come up with a theory. They wouldn’t tell me what it was, but Rev left after a large breakfast to head for the wall—alone.
The dwarves and fae of this palace chatter behind me as I stare out the window of the banquet hall, absently examining at the mountains. There’s an expansive view from this spot and I could almost pretend that deep in the distance, where the horizon grows darker in one small spot, it’s the shadow lands. My home.
Somewhere beyond these mountain ranges is my homeland, that’s true whether it’s visible or not.
If Rev was to finally gain access to the Schorchedlands, I could go. I could finally complete my personal mission. Walkthrough the gates of the Shadow Court palace with my head high. I could touch the black fountain and fuel it with my magic.
I could kneel before the queen and receive my welcome into her court.
The one thing I’ve been seeking since I was a child. Such a simple quest I’ve failed at again and again.
But my heart still stupidly aches at the thought of Rev leaving. It’s senseless, I know. But being around him makes me feel more complete than I have in a long time. It’s sad to think of losing that feeling.
Even if it is was always inevitable. I’m just glad I had the moments I did. They were so much more than I could have ever hoped for.
“You all right?”
I jump and turn to face Tyadin.
“Don’t sneak up on my like that,” I say and smack him on the arm.
“Hey-hey, that’s an act of war, young lady.”
I snort. “Who are you going to fight? The Shadow Court? Or the human realm?”
He shrugs. “Just you.”
I tap him on the cheek in a mock smack and wink. “As I’ve said many times, you’ll have to get in line. I have many enemies.”
“You know I’ll stand with you,” he says, his expression growing serious, “if you ever need it.”
I swallow. It’s the nicest offer anyone has ever made. “Thanks,” I say honestly. “I’m my own worst enemy most days.”
He smiles. “I’ll stand with you then too.”
I smile, holding back tears. No need to be a wuss, Cae. “Seems like you’ve got your hands full with just Rev.”
“Well, isn’t that true? With any luck, he’ll have it under control after today.”
“Right,” I say quietly. I look behind him, where a group of young fae females whisper, eyes darting my direction. For the most part, the few dozen fae living in this palace have gotten used to mine and Rev’s presence, but I do still have a fan or two—or three, in this case—that hang around, watching me. Those girls had me sign an image of a shadow-vyrn yesterday evening. Apparently, that wasn’t enough for them, though.
It’s a strange feeling to be admired.
Admired for something I’m able to be proud of, at least.
Everyone else has their attention on a bulky male sitting at a table with two other dwarves. He’s huge, in width, not height. His beard is thick but trimmed. His eyes a piercing deep blue and his cheekbones as sharp as any fae. He’s handsome, in a rugged kind of way.
The potential dwarf king stares at his plate, barely touching his food, his face hard as stone, gaze hyper-focused, like the answers to the universe could be found in his chicken broth.
“He’s got the brooding hero thing down,” I say, shamelessly changing the subject. It’s an easy one with Tyadin, though. His eyes light up just with the mention of his new hero.
“He’s a bit serious,” Tyadin says. “But from what I’ve heard, he hasn’t had a very pleasant life.”
“I suppose that’s true.”
“Apparently, he remembers it. All of it. The shadow creature that destroyed the throne and his father. The wars over him and his brother. The goblins. And he’s been on the run since then. No one would take him in, thinking he’d inspire a dwarfish rebellion, and sweep their dwarfish servants away.”
“Why would they care? Aren’t dwarfs second-class citizens in most courts?”
Tyadin nods. “But we’re very useful. In many places, we’re treated like slaves. We do the stonework to make their castles beautiful without requiring magic to keep them standing, but we’re paid very little and then not welcomed by the other fae. If all the dwarfs were to leave, the fae would have to rebuild their own structures. Some of them can but never with the same quality or ease. No one can mine or carve stone the way dwarves can.”
“Well, that sucks for your king guy,” I say awkwardly. “What’s his name?”
“Torrick Strongbane.”
“When does this quest of yours begin?”
Tyadin shrugs. “Hopefully soon, but there’s no real telling. Torrick is gathering support—albeit with little success. Once he decides there’s nowhere else to turn, he’ll set off. And I’ll follow.”
“Whenever that happens to be, Ty, I wish you all the best. And if I ever have the chance to make my way to my own kingdom, I’ll make sure the queen is ready to aid your party if ever needed.” I smile sin
cerely.
“I’m glad I became your accidental ally during the game,” Ty says.
“I’m glad I was finally able to wear you down.” I wink.
“Oh, whatever. You needed me.”
“I did indeed.”
IT’S NEAR SUNSET WHEN I spy a mount and rider crossing the narrow bridge in the distance, its silhouette flying at top speed.
It’s impossible to tell if the animal is horse or stag, but the likelihood of it being someone else seems low.
I’d spent a good portion of the day standing watch in case Rev came riding in. If I saw him over the winding mountains, it would mean his mission today failed. I shouldn’t want that.
When I do finally see a form that’s very likely him, part of me is terrified. Part of me is relieved. I never did claim to be a good person.
I rush down to the canal entrances, and by the time I reach the dark tunnels, a series of crashes are echoing off the walls. I sprint the rest of the way until I reach the open entryway—massive oak doors to the front of the castle. The shadows shift in the orange glow of the scattered torchlight. I stop as I see a broad-shouldered fae slam a candle into the floor with a clatter. My breath catches, heart hammering in my chest.
Rev is here. He’s safe. But the rage on his face tells me he’s anything but okay.
He grabs an already splintered frame and smashes it onto the ground, groaning with each breath like he’s trying not to sob. He desperately kicks at the pieces of splintered wood still daring to cling together.
“Rev,” I say, but my voice is still almost lost in the bombardment of clatters. More items join the others on the floor, a book, a shattered vase—the flowers it once housed flutters to the ground gracefully.
I rush forward and grab the golden statue of a dwarf from his hands. He tries to rip it away from me, an angry snarl on his lips. His eyes are nearly totally black.
“Stop it,” I demand. His black eyes find mine. He’s found a new target, I realize with a jolt just a moment before he slams me to the wall. His shaking hand is around my throat, his nose inches from mine.
I wince but don’t fight back. “Rev,” I breathe. At least he’s stopped tearing apart an allied court’s castle décor. His grip lessens as his shaking increases, a small bit of color returns to his eyes. His rage twists into pain, and it’s like a stab to my gut.
Curse of Thorns (Wicked Fae Book 2) Page 6