I’m willing to make that sacrifice.
The ceiling, I recall from my childhood history books, was a gift from the Shadow Court. It’s been here for over a thousand years, unchanged. I’d half expected it to be replaced with something new. The Shadow Court is no longer allowed to rule this place. Why keep its signature on it?
Because no one could do it better, I decide. The star-scattered ceiling is incredible.
“What the hell are you doing here?” a deep female voice calls over the crowd, and my stomach sinks. I spin to see a lovely purple-eyed, dark-skinned female marching toward me.
Kari’s voice sounded harsh, but even though I’d almost killed her during the trials, I thought we ended on good terms. I could have killed her or even just left her to die, but instead, I gave her enough aid to save her life.
She stomps toward me, and then her arms are around me before I blink again. What the hell?
I drop my shadows because, clearly, they didn’t work on her.
She releases me and smiles. “I thought you were back in the human world looking after your raven friend.”
I blink. Kari was the Crystal Court champion in the trials, and she had a front-row seat for Raven’s death and resurrection.
“I was. But... well, it’s a long story. I have some unfinished business here and only so much time before my banishment is reinstated for good.”
She nods slowly. “Are you here with Rev?”
My eyebrows pull down. “Why would I be here with Rev?”
“Oh,” she says sheepishly, “it’s just that I... well, it seems unlikely you’d have been invited.”
I let out a bitter laugh. “Well, I was.”
“Oh!” she says, eyes widening. “I’m sorry—"
I waive it off. “It’s fine; I’d have assumed the same thing. I was shocked to get an invitation. I’m still expecting an ambush at any moment.”
She giggles, but I’m entirely serious. A large number of people here want me dead.
A long-haired, arrogant fae with amber eyes enters the hall and marches down the stairs dramatically. Another person I’d rather not meet face to face. Not that Drake would show his animosity in the slightest. He’s charming and cares about his reputation far too much.
He’d surely find a way to make me squirm, though.
“Let’s get a drink,” I declare, hoping she too would like to avoid her old ally.
“That’s a fantastic idea.” Kari leads me across the room, and I dart through the crowd, twisting through the shadows, hoping to keep unnoticed by most.
“You don’t have to hide. No one will say or do anything to you tonight,” she tells me.
“Their eyes will say plenty, even if their tongues don’t.”
“You don’t strike me as the kind of fae who cares how people look at you.” Kari grabs a tall glass of sparkling liquid and a short glass with purple liquid from a waiter’s tray. She hands me both.
“What is this?”
“Crystal Court delicacy. Humans call it a Yeager bomb.”
I bust out laughing. “What?”
She chuckles alongside me. “It’s a joke. You drink it the same way though. Drop the tonic inside the glitter glass and drink. Quickly.” Her eyebrows flick dramatically.
I follow her directions and drop the small glass inside the clear bubbling liquid. Immediately the solutions combine and fizz, rising to the rim at breakneck speed.
“Drink!” Kari calls.
I’m laughing as I put the glass to my lips. It zings immediately, with a taste not unlike lavender mixed with an exceptionally spicy chai tea. I gulp the concoction down but not before a stream of prickly bubbles escape my mouth, dripping down my chin and onto the floor.
Kari cheers me on and laughs at my failure.
Eyes all around are on us now, but this time, I don’t care. Because now, I’m not alone. This time, I’m accepted by someone who belongs.
The pressure on my chest is gone entirely. “Let me show you how it’s done.” She winks.
She bites her lip as she carefully holds the purple liquid over the clear, pauses, focusing intently, then drops the small glass and chugs like it’s a damn race. Maybe it is. She finishes the drink without even one drop escaping her lips.
“Impressive,” I say.
“I’ve had a lot of practice.”
This time, a waiter passes by with a drink I recognize. I grab a glass of light red wine that pops like sparkles are inside it.
“Ahh, a wine-y, huh?”
I shrug, brushing that conversation off. I didn’t get much time to experience adult drinks in the fae realm. This is literally the only fancy fae drink I’m familiar with, and it’s not even from my own court. I know a bit more about wine from the human world, but living as a teenager meant my education was limited to stolen or cheap liqueur. I can make a mean screwdriver, though, and can chug bad whiskey without a wince.
And I’m quite familiar with Yeager bombs.
“Did you spend any time in the human world?” I ask her, now that our antics have settled. I’m honestly glad to have a friend in this crowd of enemies. I don’t know why I thought coming to this event could ever be described as a good idea.
I wanted to make a point: that I could belong. Instead, I think I proved the opposite. So far at least. Kari as my drinking partner is helping.
Tyadin would have stuck with me, but I had to go all broody and lost him to hide in the corner like a coward, and now, he’s off schmoozing with a few lovely fae ladies.
“One year. Nothing impressive. I rushed a sorority but lost interest quickly. I faked my death in my sophomore year to come back home. That was shortly after my brother died, and I became the new heir to the Crystal Court.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
She waves it off. “We weren’t close. He was nearly a hundred years older.”
I nod awkwardly, unsure what to say to that.
“So, how’s Rev’s mission going?” She smiles knowingly.
I shrug. “It’s classified.”
“So, you’re saying you don’t know anything about it?” She eyes me.
I roll my eyes.
“I’m just curious. Has he made his trip into the Schorchedlands already? I know it’s all hush-hush. Most of the world just assumed once a champion was chosen that we were all saved. I know it’s a lot more complicated than that.”
“I don’t know why you think he’d tell me details about it.” I watch Rev chatting casually with a group of Glistening Court royals.
Kari smirks. “I was never quite sure what to make of your relationship.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s always been obsessed with you. Not in a good way, of course. He talked about killing you so often it got annoying, to be honest. Then once you saved him during the trials...” She pauses. “I don’t know, but obviously he changed. A lot.”
“It’s complicated.”
She gives me a half smirk, eyes glistening. “I bet.” She watches Rev from across the room too. His eyes dart toward us but then away quickly. “It’s too bad your banishment will be reinstated when this is all over.”
I purse my lips. I hadn’t considered that my presence could be a tell. The only reason my punishment was put on hold was in case Rev failed. It allowed me to continue using resources inside the realm to prepare in case I must take his place inside the Schorchedlands. So, if I’m here, it means there’s still a chance Rev can fail.
“You could have found yourself with a crown on your head otherwise,” she says.
“What?” I nearly spit my drink out.
She smiles. “As I said, I never quite understood it. But there’s one obvious explanation—he’s in love with you.” She shrugs, her tone so light and casual I can’t even comprehend her words.
I choke on my wine. Kari pats my back lazily.
“No... I—-What?”
She chuckles, but her face falls back into a serious expression.
“You�
�re insane.” I could tell her we’re mates. This magical connection explains all of those things, but it doesn’t mean he’s in love. It just means all of his feelings about me are strong, whether they’re hate or admiration or caring. Love... no. It’s definitely not love. “But either way, it doesn’t matter.”
She nods slowly. “Doomed love. It’s tragic.”
I spit out a bitter laugh.
“I don’t know what happened between you two during the trials, but it became clear it was more than just mutual survival when he healed that girl. It... it didn’t make any sense for him to do that unless he cared for you on a deep level.”
I bite my lip, eyebrows pulled down low.
“If you knew how much anger he held about his brother’s death, about his place in his kingdom... How he didn’t trust anyone, not even his closest friends... Well, you’d understand how him being here with you, trusting you with information about the mission that will affect his entire future, his legacy, when he’s kept it from everyone else...” She tilts her head. “It paints a pretty clear picture.”
“It’s... not just me.”
“The old Rev would have trusted no one.”
“I didn’t know the old Rev,” I say. “I only know the one that’s here now.”
“Exactly. Because you’re the reason for the change.”
I shake my head. “You’re over-romanticizing this. It’s... strange, and... I don’t know. But it’s just friendship. We’re allies.”
“He trusts you. Way more than he trusts anyone else. He forgave you for the gravest of sins. How? Why? The only thing that can make me justify that is love.”
“He didn’t forgive me. How could he? I haven’t forgiven me.” My stomach sinks.
Your gravest sin. Your deepest seeded flaw.
This becomes the soul’s new quest.
I purse my lips as something new occurs to me.
What if she’s right? Not about him loving me but about him forgiving me. It seems impossible because... how? How could he forgive me for that? I wouldn’t forgive me. I haven’t forgiven me.
But if it’s true—
“Maybe you should ask him.” Kari slips away as Rev comes closer, his gentle eyes pinning me in place.
You have completed your quest.
What if Rev doesn’t belong in the Schorchedlands because, though he’s not perfect or too pure, he has achieved the entire purpose of that dark place. What if he faced his own deepest flaw—his hatred of me—and beat it?
What if forgiveness was what Rev needed to achieve redemption according to the magical bylaws of fae-hell?
I swallow. If this theory is right, not only am I amazed he’d forgive me but... I am, once again, ruining everything for him. If this theory is right, then I’m the reason Rev can’t enter the Schorchedlands.
Rev
Caelynn is white as a ghost when I approach her. “Are you okay?” I ask softly.
“Fine,” she whispers.
Her dress is a lovely cyan, draped gently over her body. My eyes drop to the drink in her hand. A light red wine with sparkles and pops. My eyes narrow as a memory plagues me.
A lovely young fae in a black dress and masquerade mask, unsure what to drink at a Luminescent Court ball. I’d suggested this very drink.
“What?” she asks.
“Nothing.” It doesn’t much matter. I thought that girl was my mate, and then I’d lost her.
And it was true. I was right all along.
Now, I’ve met her. I know her. And she’s not lacking in anything, except for what she’s done. Except that there is no hope for us.
“How do you like the wine?” I ask casually.
“It’s good. I’ve never been much for wine actually.”
“More of a tonic lady?”
She smiles, and it tugs on my heart.
“You saw that, huh?”
I see everything, I think but don’t dare say it. Someday soon Caelynn will be gone. She’ll be only a memory. I grab a glass of Callaway wine to match hers. I’d like some things to remind me of her forever. Good things I can hold on to. This wine will be one.
I hold out the glass to her, and she cautiously connects hers with mine in a soft ding.
“To memories,” I say.
Her eyebrows pull down in confusion. “What memories?”
I swallow. “This one. When this is all over, I want to have a few things I won’t ever forget.”
Her face falls slack, amazement, and incredulity and a soft sadness covers her. It’s uncharacteristically innocent actually. I want to memorize that too.
Anything but the image of her sadness inside that carriage. The emptiness of her march through the crowd after I’d abandoned her.
“Something they can’t take away,” I say.
“Something we ourselves can’t ruin. It will live forever.”
“Now, you get the idea.” I smile. “So, tell me, what about this night do you want to remember?”
Her cheeks grow red, and she looks to the floor, but she recovers quickly. “Honestly, I’m just shocked to be here. At the High Court... It’s amazing.”
“It is, isn’t it?”
“I find myself looking for every aspect of my court I can find,” she says, eyes darting around eagerly. “The ceiling, of course, but there’s a portrait in the corner of the very first Shadow Court High King. And I’m sure I’m missing more.”
I smile, watching her expression. I love her wonder. How her eyes lighten.
“It’s just so ironic.”
I frown. “What’s ironic?”
Her eyes meet mine, the eagerness still there but with a pinch of pain. “That I’d somehow make it here, of all places, before my own court’s palace.”
My eyebrows pull down. “What do you mean?”
“I’ve never been inside my own court’s palace,” she admits.
My eyes widen, stomach sinking. “Never?”
She shakes her head. “That was one of my biggest dreams. It’s the one part of being a shadow fae that I never completed. Technically speaking, I’m not actually a full citizen. You probably could have used that information to get me kicked out of the trials actually. Now, that I think of it.” She laughs, but I’m stuck on her words.
“How have you never been to the palace of your own people?”
She shrugs. “I would have gone in the next year. But it’s closed to only the strongest fae in the kingdom because we hardly have enough magic to fuel it, and they’re concerned with dilution. They open the gates yearly for one celebration, but only adult fae are allowed. I... well, I never quite made it.”
Never. She’s never been to her own palace. She’s a countess, I just assumed... “Is that where you were going before I asked for your help?”
She nods, sadness clear in her eyes though she tries to hide it with a soft smile.
I’ve met very few people with as much love for their element as Caelynn of the Shadow Court. I remember the look on her face the first moment she set foot back in the Whisperwood, and when the Shadow Sprites welcomed her.
She loves her court, even though she doesn’t always agree with them.
Forgetting everything else—the music playing and fae couples twirling to the music, even the queen’s judging gaze—I grab Caelynn’s hand and pull her out of the ballroom and down an empty hall.
“What are you doing?” she asks.
“Showing you something,” I call as I continue my excited walk, pulling her along. She skips after me, huffing in fake annoyance.
Up a set of golden spiral stairs to the second floor and down another wide hall, which ends with a set of massive black doors. Black doors where dark smoke wafts out from the bottom edge.
Caelynn gasps, already recognizing where I’ve taken her.
I’ve spent a bit of time in the High Court palace over my years. My family spent a whole week here a month or so before Reahgan was named High Heir. The queen wanted to get to know her potential heirs. There were t
hree families from three different courts as contenders, and each were welcomed guests for a full week.
Apparently, Reahgan had impressed the queen. Although, when a Flicker Court matchmaker declared him Brielle’s mate—well, that certainly helped seal the deal. It was in this palace that they met.
I remember passing this room a dozen times—the inky black magic seeping out from under it eternally—and thinking it was creepy as hell. My brother dared me to go inside because he knew how much it creeped me out. He dragged me down the hall, laughing as he went. Brielle laughed too, though I could tell she was uncomfortable with his forcefulness.
He shoved me into the closed doors and told me he wouldn’t let me go back to my own rooms unless I faced my fear and went inside. Reahgan was a strange brother. He loved me, and he was supportive sometimes. But he also loved to showcase his power, especially when there was an audience.
His antics often helped me develop a backbone, though. I relied on him and father too much. So like a mother bird, he shoved me out of the nest... often.
Like in this memory, I refused to whimper and cry—I was an adult fae for God’s sake. Young but technically an adult. And I wouldn’t be made a fool.
So, I picked myself up and went inside the room of black magic.
Immediately, the shadow magic I feared leaped at me, smothering my screams. I panicked, but as quickly as it enveloped me, it embraced me in a warm welcome. It’s strange to feel emotions from magic like that, but its friendliness was so obvious I didn’t even question it. The smoky magic settled on my skin like drops of dew, warming my skin.
And it does the same thing the moment Caelynn pulls open the door. Darkness charges like a stallion and then bathes us in simple warmth and comfort. Caelynn sucks in a breath and I smile.
Ten years ago, I entered this very room terrified of the shadow magic that fueled it only to be amazed at how beautiful it was. It was soft and enigmatic.
So much like the shadow fae with me now.
This might become one of my favorite memories ever, watching her eyes glisten as she spins, taking in the room before us. The walls are black stone, the floor appears to be made of black smoke. The ceiling is covered in moving inky magical forms. They’re like living silhouettes of creatures and fae, battling and dancing in a lovely ever-changing show.
Curse of Thorns (Wicked Fae Book 2) Page 9