by A. E. D
Obsession.
Chapter Twelve
LAKE
The wind blew through my unkempt hair as I weaved in and out of traffic dangerously, quickly making my way home. Never in a million years have I ever done something like that before.
I let someone live.
My tolerance for anything is paid with the price of death. Not one person has lived from disrespecting and touching me, unless they are of some use to me, like Joe. Joe got a broken wrist the first time we did business together. He had simply put his hand on my lower back to guide me into a room, but with my PTSD I completely lost my shit, spinning around and grabbing his hand and snapped it with great force. Ever since then, he has done well to keep clear of my personal space. He was useful in my plan to climb the ropes so I couldn’t kill him, but he did help in spreading the message of just how serious I was. You don’t just start out in this world with luck, you have to make your own.
So I did, starting with Joe.
He was the key to building my one-woman empire and all I needed was one big key player to get the word out about my skills. I needed this job. The darkness in me that grew darker everyday yearned for death. I was raised to be a monster and after I was free, I found out just how hard life would be without hurting people. I was taught to kill and take pleasure in the torturous acts. I always thought once I was free, I would never have to do that again. But I was so wrong. I became an even worse monster because I couldn’t control the one inside me. So, I made a promise to myself that I would never harm or kill an innocent. Which is why I chose this world. A world filled with the worst of the worst.
After my little whatever you want to call it, with no other than Mason King, I nearly ran out of the place. It took everything in me not to run and never look back, but that’s not me. I’m in control and what I say goes, not him. I ripped out my hair tie before running my hands roughly through my hair, pulling tangled strands out as I go. A calming device I use when my emotions rage within me. Mason King started a storm inside of me that he will regret ever starting. The darkness called for death but my body had other ideas. It didn’t want him dead, but I wanted to see him hurt. I’ve heard of the notorious Kingsmen. Led by Mason King, a playboy. A man-child who doesn’t know anything about commitment. I’ve heard how many women he brings to bed every night. I know about his club’s, businesses, his domain. The one thing I can say is he knows how to run an empire. He’s a strict leader, he knows when to discipline and he knows how to control his men. There’s a certain gift you have to have in controlling the men in our world. These men are different from the others. These men know no laws and only follow a leader, they will kill when they’re told but they can also be loose cannons with the amount of pent up anger these men hold. But Mason, he’s a force to be reckoned with, even his men. They are the most loyal subjects I’ve had the pleasure of coming across. They are the toughest to extract information from. I was hired to extract from one of his men a year ago by one of his enemies. I thrive in the thought that none of these key players know that I hold the power to bring everyone down to their knees. I have my eyes and ears everywhere. I know who’s battling who, who’s killed who and who wants someone’s territory. This is my playground, my world. I need this dark world to survive. To be able to run free and let my demons play, and it just so happens that everyone in my world deserves it. Never again will I kill an innocent, not when I finally have control over my life.
Parking my bike next to my 2018 Lamborghini Aventador which was newly wrapped in chrome silver. Making my way up to the elevator door keypad scanner, I wave my card over the scan pad and type in my security code to take me to my level. The whole way up I focused on my breathing. I was still raging inside with the darkness wanting out to go and finish the job. My demons want Mason’s head on a stick.
*Bing*
The elevator sound brings my focus towards the opening doors. Glad to finally be home where I feel like I can actually breath, I make my way inside my apartment and to the snake pit. Putting my snake back inside its glass tank, I leisurely head back to the living room. Leaving the lights off, I swipe the TV control from the coffee table and switch it on. The couch calls me as I sink into its soft confinements with a weightless drop. I’m too caught up in the moment to realize someone had slithered onto my lap. With a nudge of his head against mine, Congo coils himself around my body, becoming my own lively security blanket.
“How’s my baby, did you miss me?” I ask, soothing my hand down his head and body. His head, which is the size of two of my fists put together, snakes its way around my neck to rest upon my shoulders with his tongue hitting my cheek every time it flicks out, making me laugh.
The light from the city below and TV shines a dim light across him. His black scales glisten in the low light as his rainbow coloured scales shimmer through the dark like a Chalcopyrite Peacock Ore. Congo’s the only one of my snakes that is incredibly needy, which is why he’s not in a tank. Not one other snake has taken to me so strongly as he has. Maybe it’s because I raised him from birth, who knows. But he’s been my one true companion through my dark and treacherous life and in my opinion, is the most beautiful of them all. The upper side of his body is a dark bluish-black colour and the anterior part of the underside is a whitish, pale yellow shade. The white extends up the flanks in streak patterns. His upper and lower lips also have white streak patterns which gives of a creepy like smile. His black scales are iridescent with an oily look, so when the light hits his body just right his scales shine bright like a diamond. Blue, purple, orange, yellows and greens all shine through in the light giving him the look of a dark rainbow. Like one of those 3D photos where from one angle they look a certain colour, but then you turn to look at it from a different angle and you see completely different colours.
He always seems to sense my inner turmoil. When the darkness in me fights every fiber of my being to be released and go on a mad rampage, he’s there to ground me, just like Keenan can.
I wanted to kill Mason today but I couldn’t. I don’t know why and that has triggered me. It’s like every cell in my body has been charged with volts of electricity. I find myself shaking in my chair, trying my hardest to stop the fight within me. It’s like I’m fighting between who I am and what I’ve been raised to become, or evolve and be the person I always wanted to be. But I tried to suppress what I am and that resulted in me almost going insane. As if someone has answered my prayers, a knock at the door saves me. There’s only one person who has the access to my apartment and like Congo, always seems to pop up in my time of distress.
Keenan.
Reaching for the iPad on the coffee table, I open up the surveillance app. Clicking on the front door camera screen, there he is, standing there with a takeout bag. With a deep rumble of my stomach I send him a quick text. The sooner I get food in my stomach the sooner I can get back to being normal again. Maybe I’m just hungry, maybe that’s why I feel out of sorts since my encounter with Mason King.
[You know the code.]
A couple of years ago I gave him the code to my front door. He had a rough start when he first moved in next door. He was a young boy left alone in this city as his parents went off and enjoyed their life, kid free. I tracked them down after they first left and realized he was better off without them. They didn’t have one maternal bone in their body, only giving a shit about themselves.
He never comes in unannounced. One of the strict conditions that comes with having my code. Unless it’s an emergency then he stays outside until he gets my approval. But lately the little shit has been breaking that rule the older he gets. Now it’s like he loves to annoy the fuck out of me and I know he takes great pleasure in my annoyance.
I hear the keypad accept the code and the door unlocks. From the darkness I watch him squint his eyes and look for me. His brows furrow before they straighten out when his light golden-brown eyes land on me. A single brow lifts in confusion before he turns to close the door and makes his way to me, t
urning the lights on as he passes the switches. I cringe at the sudden brightness and frown at him.
“What happened?” He asks with no humor in his voice as he sits down beside me. He sets out five foam containers as my mouth salivates at the smell. Our regular order from Mr Shins Chinese takeout shop. How does he always manage to bring me my favorite food when I get too caught up in my own stormy head.
“What makes you think something happened?” I say, reaching for my chinese fried chicken, glazed in honey with sesame seeds sprinkled on top and a side of fried rice with my favorite baby shrimp.
“You’re sitting in the dark, Lake. You only do that when something bad has happened.” My chopsticks stop just before they reach my mouth. Since when has he been so observant?
“It’s nothing you need to worry about.” He sighs and grabs his foam container. We sit in silence and watch whatever action movie is on TV at the moment, but I can’t concentrate on the movie. Thoughts of Mason continue to run through my head making me feel heated in places I shouldn’t be as I think back to the strong feel on his hand on my arm that even though it’s been hours now, I can still feel exactly where he touched. I just can’t tell if that’s a good thing or not.
After some time of sitting in silence, a new horror movie came on which Keenan happily told me was one of his favorite movies called Se7en. A Brad Pitt and Kevin Spacey movie about the seven deadly sins. I did find myself quite uneasy watching it. Maybe because it reminds me of him, my father. Of the sadistic nature in which he raised me in. Keenan had been really quiet the last half hour which was unlike him. Usually I couldn’t get him to shut up. So I remain silent, waiting for the moment he can no longer hold in whatever is bothering him.
I didn’t have to wait long.
“What do you do for work?” I wasn’t expecting this conversation so soon. I figured the older he got, the more he’d want to know about me. He learned not to ask me personal questions when we first started hanging out because whenever he did, I found myself snapping and feeling unhinged. So he stopped asking.
“You don’t need to know, Keenan.” Disappointment flashed through his eyes before a stern look plastered itself across his face. Determination shone brightly through his seemingly glowing golden eyes.
“Do you kill people, Lake?” Immediately I started choking on the piece of chicken I just swallowed whole from his question. I wasn’t expecting that to come out of his mouth. He sat there staring at me, waiting for an explanation. I composed myself enough and turned to look at him fully.
You can lie and bullshit as much as you want, but the eyes will always discover the truth. Looking into someone’s eyes can change the whole entire conversation. Because of this, no reply was needed.
Because he already knew.
Chapter Thirteen
Since our unspoken conversation, Keenan left shortly after. I didn’t follow him. I know he needs his space but that doesn’t mean I like how things ended. I felt myself going insane, my thoughts and feelings getting darker and darker each day that passed by. I’ve never opened up to anyone before, let alone have a friend. I never had friends, I never had someone who cared enough about me to celebrate the day I was born. I never had someone willing to spend time with me without expecting anything in return.
That was Keenan.
A boy who was too mature for his age. He shouldn't be spending all his time with someone like me. Someone who can kill within seconds and not bat an eye. I’m not worth the company. I sit in turmoil every day, struggling to keep the reins held tight on my demons. I feel physical pain every goddamn fucking day that goes by without hurting something.
Lately I feel something I never thought I could. Fear. Fear for hurting someone innocent. Since Keenan left the other night, I locked myself away. Half the reason is because I’m not ready to tell him about my life. I wanted to leave him out of it. He doesn’t need to know about my world because once you know, there’s no stopping the changes that come. You become paranoid thinking everyone you know or everywhere you go could be some criminal's playground. He’ll become suspicious of everything, unconsciously drawing attention to himself. He’ll attract unwanted attention and get himself killed. I also don't want him to be afraid of me. I saw the marks I left on his throat that night and I saw the reserved look in his eyes when he saw me looking. I didn't want to tell him the truth because a part of me didn't want him to be afraid of me.
The other reason is because I’m struggling to hold myself together.
A tidal wave of emotions came crashing through my body the moment I plunged that knife into Masons chest. I knew it would miss his heart completely. I knew it wouldn’t be a life-threatening wound because I was trained to know exactly where on the body that could end a life and where it would only cause an extreme amount of pain. I knew he wouldn’t die the moment my hand shot out, even though I was aiming to kill. I could feel the trajectory was off, I could see the knife imbedding itself into his body before it made contact but it was going for the wrong spot. That moment was the one that changed it all. I saved a man’s life that shouldn’t have meant anything to me. I should have killed him for his disrespect because everyone knows of my rules, but I didn’t.
And I don’t know why.
For the first time in my life my demons were the ones that wanted to save someone. They're usually the ones that want to slaughter anything in our path, spilling blood that doesn’t need to be shed at the first chance they get, but now things changed. They wanted Mason alive while I wanted him dead.
But why?
Why seems to be the only question racing through my head. Why did they let him live? Do my demons know something I don’t? Did I subconsciously want him to live because I want him? No that can’t be.
There’s no denying he is the most beautiful man I’d ever seen. His dark eyes held so much in them that I just wanted to know everything he has seen. I wanted to feel his large hands on my body again, more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life. I wanted him to completely own me in a way I never let people do. When I feel the need to seek intimacy, to scratch an itch, I always go for the innocent looking people. I go for the males who would bend over backwards to see me pleased, the females who are so innocent that haven’t encountered anything dark in their life yet. I know what I do to those girls are wrong but there’s something inside of me that loves it. My virginity and innocence were taken from me by force. I never got to experience the consent of giving something so precious away. Maybe that’s why I really do it. To feel like I’m the one whose about to give away something that every girl cherishes. Something so priceless that you will only ever have once. I don’t know. But what I do know is that I’m fucked up.
No one who's had to live the life I had, would be sane. They would be in a mental hospital from all the trauma I’ve had to endure. But maybe I was made for this. Maybe I was born to live this life, to become stronger from it. I’ve never had any mental breakdowns before, never been so inconsolable that I gave up the will to live. Even when I was taken by an underground sex trafficking ring, I survived. They nearly killed me but I still carried on, stronger than ever. Maybe everything that happened in my life was for a reason. It has to be right? If not, then why was I ever born. Why was I ever born to live this life that should have killed me many years ago? Why do I continue to survive? Is there a reason for me being here? Am I meant to do something great? All I know how to do is survive and kill. I know how to hurt people in the most painful ways that would have them wishing to die.
Pushing away from those thoughts, I need to get out. I need to try something different. Heading to my shower, I jump in after stripping when the water hits an extremely hot level. I need to feel the burn, singe my demons away for now. No matter how long I keep them away, they always come back.
✧✧✧
After drying myself off, I head to my wardrobe. Grabbing one of my favorite short black cotton dresses, I head to the mirror. The material hugs me tightly as I slide it up my body wit
h the bottom of the dress coming to a stop at my mid-thigh. I push my arms through the spaghetti straps and turn to look at my reflection. I pull at my hair tie letting my long raven locks fall down my back. Running my hands through my hair, I give it a sexy sex hair look. I contemplate on wearing a bra but I need to attract the right kind of attention tonight. A specific kind that will have men who think they are god's gift to women coming to me like a moth to a flame. I need someone who will look like Mason. I need to feel those muscles I strained to feel. I wanted so badly to stride across that room and jump Mason the second I felt his alluring presence. The sheer strength he holds has me searching for men like him. The attraction I felt between us has every cell in my body going crazy. Like my control is slowly slipping away with every thought I have.
I make my way outside after coating my lips in a ruby red shade then touching a bit of ruby glitter gloss on top and finally adding some mascara onto my long lashes. After I’m ready I grab the first set of keys I see, not really bothering about my ride tonight. There’s only one thing on my mind and I’ll be damned if I don’t get what I want.
✧✧✧
Deciding to try a different club tonight, I pull up at another one of the city's most popular clubs, Red Velvet. A valet opens the door before I have the chance. I give him my keys and proceed to walk to the door, seeing looks of envy by both men who have come with their girlfriends and men who didn’t. Looks of jealousy from those women who see their partners eyes trained on me. The bouncer's eyes have already zeroed in on my chest, watching the rise and fall of my breasts from each breath I take and as they bounce freely with each step. My nerves are haywire tonight, usually I’m calm and collected but tonight my body is buzzing with anticipation. Getting closer, the bouncer doesn’t say a word, he just unclips the red rope and lets me through as he licks his lips, eyes dropping down to my ass as I walk past.