by Alex Grayson
I stand there for a moment more before continuing up the stairs without saying a word. I’ll never come to terms with Hell Night. He can force me to do those things. He can hit me, scream in my face, choke me, and whatever else he comes up with, but I’ll never become like Matt and all the other people who’’ve given up and accepted it.
I’ll either die first or kill them all.
Chapter Fifteen
ELLIE
I LAUGH AS I WATCH MAISY in the rearview mirror. Her legs bounce against the back seat and she belts out the lyrics to “Livin’ On a Prayer” by Bon Jovi. My girl is a big oldies fan.
It’s good to see her so happy. Her cheeks are pink again, her eyes holding life, and she’s gained a few pounds already. And it’s all because of Judge. He brought my daughter back to me.
When the song ends, I turn the volume down and look back in the mirror, seeing a smile so big it shows all her teeth.
“I can’t wait to see his face!” she says cheerily, her eyes dancing with exhilaration. “He’s going to be sooo surprised! How much longer before we get there?”
My heart feels ten pounds lighter as I laugh. “About ten fewer minutes from when you asked me last.”
She’s so excited, she can hardly contain it. I can’t blame her though. I’m kind of excited too. No, I’m definitely excited. We’re surprising Judge by showing up a week early. Although she’ll still need regular checkups with a nephrologist, and I already have an appointment with one in San Antonio, Dr. Snyder gave her the all-clear to travel. Judge already knows this, but he thinks I’m taking a week to get things settled in Kentucky. That was the original plan, but waiting and wondering if Maisy’s body would accept Judge’s kidney made me anxious and jittery, so instead of sitting around and biting my nails to the quick, I used my time to get everything ready.
I didn’t tell Maisy we were leaving early until yesterday. I didn’t want to mention it until I knew for sure we would be able to. She squealed so loud it rattled my eardrums. It was her idea to not tell Judge, thinking it would be fun to surprise him. My daughter is a damn good actress, because last night when she was on Skype with him, she never let on to our surprise.
Bringing myself back to the moment, I point to my phone in a holder attached to the dash.
“From now on, you can look anytime you want to know how much longer we have.” I point to the time in the top right corner of the screen. “See this number? That tells you how much time we have left.”
“Yah! Only thirty-two minutes!” Her eyes get round. “Turn it up! I loooove this song!”
I indulge Maisy and increase the volume. Another classic plays. “Bad to the Bone” by George Thorogood & the Destroyers.
I’ve got thirty-two minutes to get my nerves under control and see Judge again. I’ve purposely stayed out of viewing range of Maisy’s Skype sessions with him and kept our phone conversation solely on Maisy. I’ve missed him so much. More than I thought possible, which is dumb on my part. I should have known being around him for any amount of time would bring back old feelings. I thought I had prepared myself, fortified my walls against the pull he always had on me. I was wrong. Having him in my home, smelling his cologne, seeing his things lying around, seeing him every day, proved just how wrong I was.
It scares me. No, it terrifies me, because I’m weak when it comes to him. It would be so easy for him to break me again, and there would be no putting me back together this time. I’d stay broken for the rest of my life, pining after someone I can’t have. Growing old alone because it would be impossible for me to replace him.
I blink and focus back on the road. The GPS on my phone alerts me that I have a turn coming up in half a mile.
A week ago, Judge called with our airline ticket information. Luckily, I was able to change our flight. The car I’m in is a rental that’s due back in three days. We have two suitcases each in the trunk. That’s all we brought. Judge was going to hire some guys to pack our stuff in a small moving truck and pay them to drive it here. Last night, Declan came to me and suggested he do it. Since we’re going to miss him and it’ll give us the opportunity to see him again, I agreed with the idea.
My palms begin to sweat on the steering wheel as we pass the Malus town line. It’s early evening, the sun just starting to dip behind houses to the west. We pass a couple of boys on their bicycles, their heads swiveling to follow the car.
My eyes slide back to the rearview mirror to find Maisy’s head turned, watching them as intently as they are us. When she faces forward again, her eyes are sparkling brightly, and she’s wearing another big grin.
As much as I was against moving here, concerned how Maisy would take leaving everything back in Kentucky, I have a feeling I worried for no reason. She’s going to love it here. As long as she’s happy, I’ll learn to deal with my own issues.
“There it is! There it is!” she yells, pointing to the big, white, two-story house.
I pull into the driveway, noticing Judge’s car isn’t here. Even so, I turn the car off and turn to face Maisy. “You ready?”
It was a stupid question. She’s already unbuckling her belt and scrambling for the door handle. I get out at a slower pace. Maisy waits for me at the front of the car, bouncing on her heels impatiently.
“Where’s his car, Mom? Is he not here?”
I grab her hand and move us up the driveway to the porch. “We won’t know if we don’t knock, right? But even if he’s not here, I’m sure we’ll find him. Malus is a pretty small town.”
I let Maisy knock on the door, and she does so very loudly. I can feel the energy vibrating through her hand as we stand there and wait. My heart slams crazily in my chest, and I have to work at keeping my body from trembling.
When there’s no answer, I tell her to knock one more time, just in case he is inside and didn’t hear. When there’s still no answer, I turn us back to the stairs.
“Well, it looks like we get to explore Malus a little,” I comment.
Maisy’s feet are lead, and her shoulders slump as we walk down the steps. Once at the bottom, I grip her shoulders and turn her to face me. I tip her chin up with my knuckle.
“Hey. Turn that frown upside down. We’re here. You’ll still get to see him and surprise him. You’ll just have to wait a little longer.”
My chest hollows at her dejected look.
“What if he’s not here? What if he had to go out of town?”
I get the feeling Judge doesn’t leave Malus often, and only when he has to. He’s too much a part of the town. He used to talk about coming back here and making major changes. He and his brothers wanted to rewrite the history of Sweet Haven and make it a safe place to be. They wanted to rebuild and erase the hate and revulsion and replace it with security, warmth, and love. I could see the passion in his eyes when he spoke about it.
“I’m sure he’s here somewhere. It’ll be like hide and seek. Only he doesn’t know he’s playing.”
That gets the job done. Her sorrowful face splits into a grin and she giggles. Tapping her nose with the tip of my finger, I straighten back up.
“Now, where to start looking….”
Maisy skips beside me as we walk back to the car. “How about the ice-cream shop? We could try there first.”
I laugh at her devious suggestion, glad her mood has lightened. “You think you’re sneaky, don’t you?”
She tilts her head back and looks at me innocently. Why kids think they can fool their parents when we pulled the same thing is beyond me. “Well, you never know. He could be there.”
Technically, he could be, but I don’t see Judge as the type to visit ice-cream parlors often, if at all. Except when he’s taking his daughter, that is.
As we approach the car, I look up and down the street and see a couple of kids playing. A dog barks in the distance, and someone has music playing. The yards are clean, but toys litter the grass. Everything seems warm and inviting. A place to build a fami
ly and friendships. It looks like Judge and his brothers accomplished what they aimed to do.
“Excuse me!”
I spin my head around, my hand still on the backdoor handle, and see a young couple walking toward us.
I open Maisy’s door and let her climb inside. “Go ahead and buckle up.”
Once the door is shut, I turn to face them.
“Uh, hi.” I wave awkwardly as they come to a stop a few feet away.
The guy, probably late teens, has his arm around the girl’s waist with his hand shoved in her back pocket.
“Are you looking for Judge?” the girl asks.
“I am. Do you happen to know where he is?”
They share some weird look before the girl brings her gaze back to mine. “Yeah. We just walked by The Hill. His car was in the parking lot.”
“The Hill?”
“It’s the only restaurant here in Malus,” the guy answers.
“Could you, uh, tell me how to get there?”
The girl giggles. “It’s literally just around the corner.” She throws her thumb over her shoulder. “That way. Turn left and you won’t miss it.”
I offer a smile. “Thanks.”
The mirth drops from the girl’s face as she tilts her head to the side and regards me curiously. “You’re Ellie, right?” Her eyes move past me to car. “And that’s Maisy?”
“Yes.”
I don’t know why, but my shoulders stiffen fractionally, and I step to the side, shielding Maisy from view. The girl notices, and her eyes crinkle into a friendly smile. I relax, suddenly feeling foolish. Malus is a small town, and I’m sure they don’t get a lot of visitors. So, when one does happen to appear, it’s natural to be curious.
“I’ve overheard Judge talking about you both.”
I raise my brows in surprise. Not that he wouldn’t talk about the daughter he just learned he had, not to mention the kidney he just gave her. But what does give me pause is that he’d talk about me enough for someone to overhear.
“He said you were both moving here,” she continues.
I nod. “We are.”
She looks back at the car again, and I can see the desire to lean around me to get a better look. I turn sideways, and when her eyes connect with Maisy’s, her smile spreads.
“She’s beautiful,” she remarks, sliding her gaze back to me.
I could say the same about her. Strawberry-blonde hair, pretty brown eyes, lightly tanned skin, and a perfectly trim body. The combination is stunning.
“Thank you.” I hold out my hand. “You know our names. It’s only fair we know yours.”
“Oh, yes!” She laughs, throwing her hand out. “Silly me. I’m Sierra, and this is my boyfriend, Caleb.”
I shake Caleb’s hand next. “It’s nice to meet you both.”
“Likewise,” he says, showing off his white teeth as he smiles. He’s not bad looking himself. Tall, with a swimmer’s build. Dark-brown hair, kind blue eyes, and a dimple in each cheek. They make a striking couple.
“So listen,” Sierra starts, “if you ever need a sitter for Maisy, let me know. I love children.”
I glance back at Maisy. She’s watching me with an impatient expression. I hold up one finger, indicating I’ll only be a moment more.
I turn back to the couple. “Umm… I’m not sure—”
“I know, you have to get to know me first,” she interrupts. “That’s cool and totally understandable. Maybe I can come by sometime this week, and we can all get to know each other?”
Her eyes light up with hope. The girl seems friendly enough and she has a cheery disposition. I have no doubt Maisy would get along well with her. It wouldn’t be for a few more weeks—I want to make sure she’s out of the woods before I leave her with someone—but maybe I’ll talk to Judge and get his opinion. He would know the kind of person Sierra is.
“I can’t make any promises, but I’m sure we can work something out. Why don’t you give me your phone number and I’ll give you a call?”
“Yah!” she says loudly, digging her phone from her pocket. I laugh softly at her excitement.
She gives me her number, and I call her phone so she’ll have mine.
“We’ll let you two go.” Caleb starts tugging on Sierra’s pocket. “I’m sure Judge is anxious to see you.”
“It was nice meeting you. I’ll look forward to your call.”
I wave and watch the couple go before turning to my door. I didn’t expect to run into someone so soon, I had hoped for a few days to get settled in before I ventured out to meet people, but they were really nice.
“Guess what, kiddo? I know where your dad is.” Maisy claps twice then fist pumps the air with both fists. “But that means no ice cream.”
She shrugs. “That’s okay. I’d rather see my daddy.”
My heart melts. She’s been without a father for eleven years, and now that she has one, she’s holding on to him with everything she has. She’s had Declan, but it’s not the same. Yes, he treated her and loved her as if she were his daughter, but the uncle label is different than the daddy label.
Just as Sierra said, The Hill was easy to find. When I spot Judge’s car in the lot, my anxiety kicks back in. I suck in a deep breath through my nose and exhale through my mouth.
You’ve got this, Ellie. Time to pull up your big girl panties and be an adult.
I park beside Judge’s car and switch off the ignition. Maisy chatters away as we climb from the car. I only half listen. My mind is too wrapped around the fact I’m going to see Judge again.
Walking with her hand wrapped in mine, I lead us to the door. The lighting inside is much darker than I thought it would be. Or maybe it’s because my eyes haven’t yet adjusted from the brightness outside. I squint and look around the room for a head of brown hair. Only a few of the tables are occupied, and a couple sits at the bar.
It’s Maisy who spots her father first. I know this because she squeals his name.
“Daddy!”
I jerk my head around just in time to see Judge whip his head our way. His eyes widen when he spots us standing by the door. Maisy tugs her hand from mine and takes off toward him. He’s out of his seat an instant later, but only manages a couple of steps before Maisy barrels into him. He laughs and scoops her up into his strong arms.
I walk over at a more sedate pace with my insides squirming. I see no difference in his looks from a few weeks ago, but even so, he’s somehow more attractive. The thought annoys me.
“Hey, Mase,” Judge says, a smile stretching across his face. “What are you doing here? You weren’t supposed to arrive for another week.”
Her cheeks puff out with her big smile and her arms lock around his neck. Her legs wrap around his waist.
“We wanted to surprise you,” she chirps ecstatically.
“Well, you certainly managed it. And what a great surprise it is.”
His eyes lift to mine, a brow lifted in question.
“I succeeded in getting things settled faster than I thought.” I shrug. “I saw no reason to wait, and I knew Maisy would love to surprise you. I hope it’s okay.”
His gaze goes back to Maisy and he leans down to kiss the tip of her nose. “It’s more than okay.”
I look past Judge and see three women sitting at the table he stood from. All three of them are gorgeous, and they’re currently looking at me. I shift on my feet and cross my arms over my chest, feeling awkward and wondering who they are.
One of the girls gets up from the booth and steps up beside Judge. Her eyes flick back and forth between Maisy and me, openly assessing us both. She has long blonde hair and deep-set light-brown eyes. Is she Judge’s girlfriend? Is she his lover?
She clears her throat, reminding Judge of her presence. Twisting his head to look at her, some of the jubilation fades from his face. He looks behind him to the other women, who’re now getting up from their seats.
When he brings h
is head back around, he suddenly looks uncomfortable.
He clears his throat and the look disappears. He walks over to stand at my side, Maisy still clutched around his neck. The other two women walk up to the first.
“Ellie, I’d like you to meet some friends of mine. Layla, Jamie, and Gillian. Ladies, this is Ellie.” He smiles down at Maisy. “And my daughter, Maisy.”
Friends? Something seems off. Not that men and women can’t be friends. It’s just hard to imagine there’s no attraction between three beautiful women such as them and a man as attractive as Judge. Any one of them would be a perfect physical match for Judge.
I table the thought for now and shake each of their hands. They all smile and seem welcoming enough. The one named Layla turns to Maisy and holds out her hand.
“Hey there, beautiful. We’ve heard so much about you.”
“You have?” Maisy asks, her eyes opening wide.
Layla laughs. “We have. Your dad’s talked about you a lot.”
That must mean he spends a lot of time with her. That thought sours my stomach. Judge is free to see whoever he wants, particularly because I turned him away the day Maisy was released from the hospital, but that still doesn’t mean I have to like it. Of course, I ignore the reason behind that thought.
“Your dad says you’re very special,” the one named Jamie says, smiling gently at Maisy, who smiles back.
“I think he’s pretty special too.” Maisy responds, earning a chuckle and a kiss on the cheek from her dad.
I’m not sure if it’s my imagination or not, but I think I hear a sigh from one of the women.
“Judge says you’ll be staying in Malus,” Gillian directs at me. “Let any of us know if you need anything. We’d love to show you around. Maybe take Maisy and we all get mani-pedis.”
I nod. “That would be nice. Thank you.”
After I find out exactly who these women are to Judge, that is.
“How did you get here? You should have called; I would have grabbed you from the airport.”
“But then it wouldn’t have been a surprise,” Maisy states matter-of-factly.
“I rented a car. It’s due back in San Antonio in a few days,” I answer.