by Cara Carnes
“Do you even know these people?”
“I know them better than I ever knew you.” Since he’d wormed his way into her bed and stayed there for too many nights, Bree’s stomach twisted at the thought. “You don’t even know yourself. You have no morals except what you’re paid to think. You aren’t ever real with anyone. Are you?”
“Bree…”
“Shut up. I don’t want to hear anything from you.” She charged back toward operations. Fuck him. Seriously, fuck Knightwind, too.
“He killed his girlfriend!” Gavin shouted.
Bree froze. Though she didn’t want to hear what the bastard was saying, she couldn’t move. Somehow, she knew he was talking about Ram.
Don’t listen. If he did kill someone, he had a reason. A good one. He’s a good man. Don’t listen to Gavin’s bullshit.
“He’s as rotten as his parents. It’s in their blood,” Gavin said. “Evil.”
“You’re the evil one.” Bree fisted her hands. “Say one more bad thing about him or anyone here and this deal is off. You’re lucky I don’t call it off now. Stay far away from me, Gavin.”
She bypassed Operations and headed directly toward Sinclair’s office, which was now near Medical. Bree knew the psychiatrist was overwhelmed with her workload—a fact Marshall was working hard to combat. Two new docs would eventually be hired, eventually being the operative word because finding someone like Sinclair was downright impossible. But The Arsenal made the impossible happen daily, so Bree knew there’d be new psychiatrists ready to shrink everyone with the same loving care Sinclair used.
Since the light wasn’t on above her door, Bree knocked and entered. Sinclair glanced up from her pristine desk. A pile of folders and notebooks sat on a second desk against the left wall. She plopped down in a chair.
“I’m feeling anxious and didn’t know where to go.” She looked around. “The first time I felt like this was after the assassins came after Vi. I used one of the zapper drones on myself.”
The woman set her pen down. “Is that how it started? Your conditioning?”
Bree nodded. She hadn’t shared the details with her yet, figured the how and what didn’t matter as much as the why. Sinclair didn’t like the word conditioning but had decided not to die on that hill yet.
“Are you feeling like doing it again?”
“Maybe,” she whispered.
“Why? Is being back that hard?”
“No. It was perfect. I missed everyone so much. I realized you were right all along. I shouldn’t have left.” She looked down at her lap. “But shit blew up a bit ago. Someone from my past showed up, some asshole from a black ops group overseas. He said some things, shared a lot he shouldn’t have about Ram’s past.”
“And that bothered you.”
“That’s an understatement. I’m thinking I should get Jud to skin him. Or worse.”
“You think there’s something worse than that?”
“Probably. If there is, Jud would know. Mia probably would, too.” She glanced up. “She’s my new roomie, apparently. Addy’s moved in with Kristof.”
“Does that bother you?”
“I’m happy for them both, and for Stacia and Olaf. I just… I didn’t want that to change. I needed stability, you know? What if she hates how I organize the kitchen? What if she’s a slob? I can’t stand a slob. I play my music loud sometimes. What if I piss her off and she goes commando?”
Sinclair didn’t comment. Yeah, okay, Bree was definitely rambling and being ridiculous. Mia had been vetted. It’d be okay.
“What did this operative say about Ram?”
Bree shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. Even if it’s true, he had his reasons. I know he does.”
“Are you going to talk to him about it?”
“Should I?” She chewed on her nail, or what was left of it. “I mean, I know it’s bullshit and definitely not my business.”
“But you want it to be.”
Yeah, she did.
“I think you already know what I’m going to say, Bree.”
“I know.” She sighed heavily and stood. “Thanks, Doc.”
“Anytime. We’ll talk first thing in the morning, okay? How’s your family doing?”
“Good, I guess. The helicopter showed up and shit sort of went sideways, so I haven’t seen them since we ate in the mess hall. Oh, I kind of blew the lid off the whole I don’t like being lectured thing.”
Sinclair’s eyebrows rose. “How did that go?”
Horribly. Her stomach churned. “Okay, I guess. I feel bad for making them feel bad. Mary and Vi cried. They never cry. I hurt them.”
“Do you really think you hurt them?”
“No.” Bree looked down again. “What I said hurt. I… I don’t think I see things the way they do. I know that doesn’t make sense, but something Gage said kind of stuck.”
“What did he say?”
“That he wishes I could see me the way he and the operatives do for a day. Something like that.” Bree glanced at Sinclair. “Do you think he was right?”
“You know I do.” The woman didn’t flash an I-told-you-so smile, even though she could have. That wasn’t Sinclair’s style. Relief and happiness filled the woman’s face. “I’ve said it a few times.”
Okay, she definitely had. More than a few times. Bree nodded. “I guess that’s something else to think through.”
“Are you journaling?”
“Yes.” When she remembered. How had Jesse and Mary committed to it so easily? It definitely helped but was a serious pain. “Thanks again.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Now all she had to do was figure out what to do about Shelly. What a conundrum. The Arsenal had technically entered into a verbal agreement to possibly help Knightwind with Facility Six, which meant Shelly was part of said deal—aka the strong-arm they’d tried to use to make Bree agree to help.
Like she’d willingly help them bust her friend out of a prison only to put her back into their grasps. She needed to get Shelly out before Knightwind turned over any intel on Facility Six to The Arsenal.
But how?
They’d know she was behind it because Gavin had told her about it.
Ugh. This was not her strong suit.
Talk to someone. But who? Plausible deniability was an important element in this. Anyone she spoke with would not have it.
She headed outside and contemplated her options. While she didn’t want to involve her friends in anything nefarious or that’d put them on Knightwind’s radar, she had to help Shelly. If she was there, whoever had her was likely using her cryptology skills, which meant she’d have computer access.
“You’re thinking pretty hard.” The masculine voice startled her out of her brain. She jumped. “Sorry, didn’t meant to scare you. Glad you’re back.”
Spade. “Got a second for me to run something by you?” While it seemed like she was grabbing the first set of ears she ran into, he was the perfect person to run this by. He’d gone into a black-in-black mission to help protect Rhea. Only Zoey had known about it. “I need help.”
“What can I do?”
She took a few moments to run through everything. His expression turned grim, then outright furious as she finished her debrief. “So, that’s it in a nutshell. If I tell our crew about this, then they’d be in trouble with Knightwind. If I don’t…”
“Then you’d be helping get your friend back into their grasps when you want to cut her loose.” He crossed his arms. “That’s messed up, but I’d tell Zoey. Or Edge. Hell, tell those two and Vi. They’ll get the i’s dotted and all that. If Mia broke in once, then she’s a resource they’d have to tap. If they need off book resources to make this happen, I’m on board.”
“Thanks.” She looked around. “How are you doing? Is everything cool?”
“Honestly?”
“Yeah. You know I always take my shots straight.” She grinned despite his grim expression.
Intensity resonate
d on the handsome operative’s face like it always did. He was tall, dark, and deadly—a combination found a lot on the compound. But something darker lurked beneath his gaze. He seemed…haunted.
“It sucks. The team’s a mess. Donovan’s back now, so hopefully that’ll help, but the others don’t want anything to do with me. Fallon’s at a loss on what to do about it, ’cause he wants me back on the team, but they don’t.”
Damn. “Why the hell not?”
He ran his hands through his thick hair. “I left. I didn’t tell them what I was planning.”
“Would they have told you?” She crossed her arms. The question was moot. She knew how Fallon’s crew operated. They’d always been the enigma at The Arsenal, opting to be more mercs than a well-honed team like everyone else.
The man shook his head. “That’s not how this works.”
“It should be.” She held out her arms.
The urge to make his troubles go away unfurled within her. The commandos might not like it, but she considered them all hers to protect. She’d gotten a huge, seriously intense family of badasses when she’d moved to The Arsenal. And Spade? Well, he was one of the ones she watched the closest because he exuded lethal intent with everything he did. It always felt as though he was on the edge and unsure which way he would land. She wouldn’t let him or anyone else fall over the cliff because they all protected her and her friends.
“Warning,” Bree said. “I’m gonna hug you, so don’t freak out. Give me a couple days and I’ll sort them out. You deserve better than this. You protected Rhea and everyone else here.”
She hugged the commando but made it quick because Spade wasn’t the sort to take physical affection well. He reminded her a lot of Jud when he’d first arrived at The Arsenal. “I’m sorry this is happening. Hang tight and we’ll get it sorted.”
“It’ll sort itself. Focus on you and let me know what I can do to help.” Spade continued down the path.
“Spade?”
He turned. “Yeah?”
“Don’t tell anyone, okay?” He nodded. “And thanks for letting me dump that on you.”
“Anytime.”
She made her way into the Operations building and wandered around until she found herself back in the whiteboard room, where Zoey, Mary, Vi, and Jesse were huddled at one side of the table. They all turned to look at her.
“Bree. How did it go?” Zoey asked. “They didn’t let me watch via HERA, and they’ve already locked it down. They said you’d come to us if you wanted to.”
“I need to talk to you about something, but I don’t know if I should. I ran into Spade on the way and sort of spewed it all out to him. He said to tell you even if I was worried because you’d know how to handle it.”
“Okay,” Jesse said. “Have a seat. I’ll get some water for you.”
Bree sat. Her legs moved up and down restlessly as she waited through the silence.
“Hey,” Vi said. She reached over and took Bree’s hand. “It’s okay. Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out.”
Bree nodded. “I know telling you this is sort of a gray area, but I need help to do the right thing.”
Jesse entered, so she launched into the story, telling them what Gavin had shared.
Zoey glared at Mary, then accessed HERA so they could watch the altercation themselves. No one spoke as the video footage played. Bree held her breath. Once it was over, she filled in the gaps.
“Shelly is a cryptologist, one of the best in the world. She never would’ve gone back to work for Knightwind, so that’s how I knew they forced her into it. If she’s at Facility Six, she’ll be working,” Bree said. She took a breath and continued. “So we can probably hack in and warn her if we go in to get her. She’d help if she can. I know she would. She’s good. Really, really good. Most of what I learned about cryptology after MIT was because of our time together. She has severe agoraphobia, though.”
“Deep breath, girlfriend. You’re spiraling.”
Bree focused on the breathing exercises Sinclair had taught her. Jesse smiled his approval as Mary and Vi typed away on their laptops.
“I’m glad you told us,” Mary said. “We need to have a chat with Mia and get her history with Facility Six.”
“Spade said he’d help if we needed to do something off book.” Bree didn’t mention his troubles with Fallon’s team. She’d start with Fallon, then figure out where to go from there. Maybe Ram would know the best approach.
“Tell you what we’ll do,” Vi said. “For now, Zoey and I will hack into Facility Six’s system so we can get eyes on the situation. Frankly, we want to know who they have there before we even get their files.”
Relief filled her. They’d figure out what to do. “Okay.”
“Do you want to talk about what else Gavin said?” Jesse asked.
There’d only been one other topic Gavin discussed. Ram. “No. That’s not up for discussion. I meant what I said, and the only person who should share with me when and if he wants is Ram. I don’t care what he’s done in his past. We’ve all done things out of desperation or necessity. I won’t give what Gavin said a single second beyond this one.”
“Good.” Approval resonated in Jesse’s gaze. “I don’t know his story, but he’s one of the best operatives we have.”
That’s all Bree needed to know. “Thanks, and I’m sorry about spewing what I did earlier. I didn’t mean to bomb you with that out of nowhere.”
“I’m glad you did,” Mary said. “And I’m sorry we hadn’t seen how our reactions were affecting you. We should have.”
“With that said, we really want to have a chat about what you’ve been working on. We were looking over some of the stuff you’ve put into the beta environment and it’s great. Really, really great,” Vi said.
“Heck yeah it is,” Zoey said. “I want to play with those EMF drones. Tell me you have more.”
“I have more,” Bree replied with a grin.
“We should probably warn you that Dylan isn’t okay with one of those laser cannons being atop his mom’s house,” Mary said. “Though, I’d bet Momma Mason would be okay with it.”
“Who do you think helped me get it up there?” Bree asked. “No one gets near her house without her knowing. The woman has eyes in the back of her head.”
Jesse chuckled. “It comes naturally after raising seven kids.”
Bree could only imagine. She’d contemplated having kids, and definitely wanted to. How cool would it be to have the next generation of the Pentagon crew? Thoughts of children led her mind back to Ram. Did he want babies?
Slow down. You haven’t even gone out on a date yet. Baby steps.
Ram forced his thoughts from Bree and the conversation she was having with Gavin. He made his way to Medical since he knew Donovan would be about finished with his physical therapy for the day.
He offered chin lifts to some Warrior’s Path participants congregated around Danny, Jacob’s dad who’d taken on an active role in the program since deciding to move to The Arsenal now that his son was a part of the Operations crew. Ram admired the man, who’d been taken captive twice.
“Hey, Ram!” Danny shouted as he waved. He wheeled over and looked up at Ram. “How’s it going?”
“Good, just came to check in on Donovan.” He jerked his head toward the half-circle of mostly men, though there was one woman in the group. “I see we’ve got a new group started.”
“Yeah.” The man offered a grin. “I’m first contact, even though more than half of them won’t hear what I say since I wasn’t a soldier.”
“Their loss. What you’re doing is solid and they’ll benefit from what you can provide them.”
“Probably so. A couple of the first group that came through here have signed on to help.” Danny glanced over at two men making their way toward him. “That’s them. I’d best get to work. You let me know if there’s anything I can do to help. Jacob mentioned a lot was going on right now.”
“He’s a good kid. You raised
him well.”
“It was a group effort.” The man grinned, then his expression turned solemn. “It’s good you’re checking in with Donovan. I’ve made a few attempts to chat, but he’s locked down tight, doesn’t want anything to do with me or anyone else in the program.”
Ram grunted. If it hadn’t been for The Arsenal bringing in the best doctors in the country to work on Donovan shortly after his injury, the man’s career would’ve likely taken a hard turn he didn’t want. Ram didn’t ever give much headspace to thinking about what’d happen if an injury he sustained permanently brought him out of the field.
“I’ll have a word with him. I imagine his head’s not in a good place right now.” Ram headed into the building and made his way toward the physical therapy section, which encompassed half of the original first floor and the entirety of the new addition Burton Construction had added.
He spotted Donovan quickly, but held back on approach as the man got in Spade’s personal space. Though he couldn’t hear the words spoken, the tension in their stances spoke volumes. A short woman with electric blue hair stood nearby. She chewed her lower lip as her gaze latched with his. She made a head jerk motion, signaling he should intervene.
Ram didn’t remember the woman’s name, but knew she was one of the new physical therapy crew. Good enough. He closed the distance, approaching slower to glean what he could of the situation.
“That’s not my shit to carry, man,” Donovan said.
“It’s not, but it does affect our team,” Spade replied. Hands fisted, his gaze cut to the right, where the woman stood. “You being an ass to everyone, or is it just me?”
“Fuck you. You’ve got no idea the shit I’m going through.”
“No, because you haven’t shared it with anyone. We’re here and ready to listen. Unload whenever you want. I’ll take whatever you have to give.”
“Yeah, right. None of you ever gave a damn about anything but the paycheck,” Donovan said. “Too little, too late. Fallon thinks you can all pull your shit together and become a real team, but I know that’ll never happen.”
“It’s already happened. With me, at least. The others don’t want anything to do with me, though. But as you said, that isn’t your problem.” Spade shook his head and took a step backward. “Funnily enough, I thought as our second that coming to you was how this team was supposed to work. I guess they aren’t the only ones not falling in line with the whole team is family schtick ’cause you’re scraping my concerns off like they aren’t your problem to carry, even though I’m pretty sure they are.”