by Cara Carnes
“You were pretty cool, too. I didn’t know who was on the mission, but you held your ground and didn’t blink.”
“That’s why I know Marshall respects the hell out of you, even if you don’t see that often. You saved us that day. Blowing shit up works for you in a big way, sweetheart. You were our light that day, and you have been from then on.”
Bree and Sinclair chatted for a few more minutes, then the doctor excused herself. Ram stood from the sofa and walked her out. He waited until they were on the sidewalk outside before he spoke. “Thanks for coming over.”
“Thanks for calling me. Though, I did have several other calls.”
“You said this was a breakthrough.”
“It was. I know it might not seem like it, but she’s finally looking deep enough to note the wounds she’s tucked away.” Sinclair cocked her head. “You’re good with her.”
“She’s important to me.” Ram could admit that much. Anything beyond that he wouldn’t share with anyone. Not until he’d told Bree. “How can I help her?”
“Keep doing what you are doing. Be there for her.” That he could do.
“She had a long night planned to help Riley with some stuff. Should that be postponed?”
Sinclair shook her head. “Normal situations, I’d say yes. But I learned long ago none of you here fall into that category. Bree isn’t like the others, but she needs to contribute, to see she does have value here and that no one is going to walk away from her. I’d recommend letting her rest for a few hours, then carry on with whatever you had planned. Just watch her carefully. You’ll notice when she’s had enough.”
“Thanks, Doc.”
“Anytime.” She smiled. “Any chance you and the other two will finally come and have a chat with me?”
“It’s already on my mind to give you a call. Jesse made me realize I can’t be who Bree needs until I’ve faced my own demons,” Ram admitted. “He told me I had a choice. I could either be her Levi or her Ellie.”
Sinclair smiled. “You’ll make a great Ellie, though Levi certainly is good as well.”
True, but what he felt for Bree went far beyond friendship and nowhere near brotherhood. He entered the house and smiled when he saw Bree had already fallen asleep. He walked over to the dining table and sat. The unfinished manuscript beckoned. He normally didn’t work on it without Doug and Pierce around, but having Bree here felt right, too. Grinning, he opened his laptop and got to work.
12
“Are you sure you should be here?” Rhea asked for the tenth time.
“I’m positive. I even called Sinclair to confirm what Ram said.” She turned to face her friend. “I know I scared you earlier, but she said it was a breakthrough. I-I have abandonment issues, okay?”
“What? Why?” Rhea blinked as she sat at the long table they’d set out for tonight’s work.
Riley and Zoey hovered nearby. Bree motioned them over because she knew they were worried. When they sat, Bree continued. “I know it’s crazy, but a part of me is worried you’ll abandon me if I’m not strong enough. If I get too weak, you’ll cut me loose and I’ll lose you.”
“Bree, that’ll never happen.” Rhea hugged her. Bree loved having her friends back, especially Rhea. “I’ve given you the space I thought you needed, but I’m here when you’re ready.”
“I know. Thank you.” Bree appreciated how understanding Rhea was being. It wasn’t her fault Bree had the meltdown. None of it was anyone’s fault. “I love you. You know that, right?”
“I do. I just wish you’d talk to me. Let me help you through this.”
“I will. You have kiddos to care for,” Bree argued.
“I will always have time for you,” Rhea said, her tone firm. “Whatever you’re hanging on to, promise we’ll have a chance to talk through it soon. I’ve been patient because I love you, but I’m about to go into fighter mode.”
Bree laughed. “I’ve rubbed off on you.”
“We’d never abandon you. That’s nuts,” Zoey said.
“It is. Most of me knows it, but a part of me doesn’t. Not yet,” Bree admitted. Telling her friends the truth was hard, but she did trust them to be in her corner no matter what. The time she’d spent away from them made her see that.
“Who caused that? I want to throat punch them,” Zoey said, her voice tight.
“Sinclair and I need to talk it through more, but it’s pretty obvious to me it has to do with my parents. You know my relationship with them is…strained.”
Rhea offered a tight smile. Understanding glinted in her eyes. She’d seen it more than anyone. “I get that. You know I do.”
“I should’ve been there for you,” Bree whispered. “If I’d known about…” She swallowed the rest of the words when Rhea nodded.
“I’m sorry. I should’ve trusted you with that,” Rhea admitted. “I wasn’t ready to open that wound. I thought I’d sealed it closed and moved on. I hadn’t.”
“I hate that you had to go through that without my help. I keep asking myself what I missed seeing. I should’ve seen how much you were hurting.” Bree wiped away the tears. “I wasn’t there when I should’ve been.”
“You were.” Rhea stroked her hair. “Every time the pain threatened to drag me down you were right there. Smiling and laughing. Coming up with zany ideas that dragged me into the present. That’s exactly what I needed. You were always the one who pulled me out of my dark thoughts. You may not have known, but you were there.”
Wow. Bree hugged Rhea. “I’m glad. I would’ve done so much more if I’d known.”
“You did exactly what I needed you to,” Rhea whispered. “Don’t ever doubt that. Now, tell us about your parents. I’m thinking we’re missing a few things.”
Bree took a deep breath and shared some of her darker thoughts with her two friends. Huddled in the corner of the lab, she vented about their constant jabs concerning the sacrifices they made for her. How everything bad that happened was her fault. Never theirs.
Letting it out, sharing it with two of the most important people in her life, lessened the pain. Why hadn’t she done this before?
“I had no idea it was that bad.” Rhea’s eyes were wet with unshed tears. “God, B. You know it’s all bullshit, right? None of that is your fault.”
“I know. Or, at least, I’m starting to understand. That’s what I’m working through with Sinclair now,” Bree admitted.
“They’re the ones who need their head sorted. That’s fucked up.” Zoey growled. “You aren’t going to let me throat punch them, are you?”
“No.” Bree shook her head, but grinned. “But thanks for wanting to.”
“You don’t need them,” Rhea said firmly. “They don’t deserve space in your world. You’ve endured enough of their bullshit. If they can’t fix themselves, that’s not on you. It’s their loss.”
“She’s right,” Zoey affirmed. “You’re awesome. To hell with them and their crazy.”
They were right. Bree should’ve stood her ground better a long time ago. Placating their beliefs had been easier, though. “I’m going to do better when dealing with them. I’m not ready to cut them out fully. I do love them, and I know they love me. They aren’t toxic to me like Mary’s and Vi’s parents were with them.”
“You’re right,” Rhea said. “But they do say toxic things from what you just shared. You have to defend yourself from those wounds. If you don’t, I suspect there’s a commando who will.”
The glimmer in Rhea’s gaze made heat crawl up Bree’s face. There was zero doubt Ram would stand between her and them if given a chance to. “Ram’s pretty great.”
“He is,” Rhea said. “How’s that going?”
“Great. Really great.” She winced. “How’s Fallon? I feel terrible for how things are going with Spade and Fallon’s team.”
“He’s better. Nolan and Jesse have been talking with him a lot since Spade moved over to Gage’s team temporarily.” Rhea squeezed her hand. “He’s glad Ram helped him out. Fallon’s alw
ays been a lone wolf until he came here to The Arsenal. Leading a team wasn’t ever something he’d planned to do.”
“He’s done great,” Zoey said. “He’ll get better. He tried giving them what they all thought they wanted. Distance.”
“She’s right,” Bree said. “They all took some major hits with what happened in Cuba. Donovan’s injury. Fallon’s surgery afterward. Spade going dark for The Arsenal. It was a lot. I doubt any team could’ve withstood all those hits any better.”
“That’s what I told Fallon,” Rhea said. “He couldn’t be everywhere when all that went down. Then we got the kids and things spiraled even more. He feels guilty for putting his personal life above his team’s welfare.”
“That’s nuts,” Zoey said. “It’s not like they went to him with any of this. I doubt anyone except for Spade even tried to talk with Fallon or Donovan about it. That’s on them. Not Fallon or Donovan.”
“Ram thinks they should all be put on other teams to see what real teamwork is,” Bree said. They’d chatted about that the other night. “They’ll get it sorted. We need to let the commandos deal with it all.”
“Fine. You’re right,” Zoey muttered. She looked around the empty lab. “So, what are we doing, and where is everyone else?”
“They’re here,” Nikki said as she entered the large underground area. “Sorry, I needed muscle to help me carry everything from the lab.” The brunette entered with Sol on her heels, a large grin in place.
Bree couldn’t help but grin. The two were perfect for one another. Bree had spent the past hour in the lab chatting with the new assistant they’d hired. She’d work mostly with Rhea but would also be helping Bree with quite a few things. She’d gotten familiarized with their work thanks to Stan—aka the asshole of all time—kidnapping her and forcing her to work at the facility in Cuba.
Jesse and his team had saved Nikki. Then they’d had to keep her in protective care for a bit, which was where Nikki and Sol’s romance had budded. Bree was happy for them both.
“Rhea, Nikki, and I are going to construct the innards of the micro drones while everyone else puts them into their shells, inserts the power supply, and then field tests them in the next room.” Bree motioned toward the room. Riley snickered, likely because the word innards had been used. Bree didn’t use a fancy vocabulary if a simpler, more fun word existed. Why bother?
“How many do we need?” Rhea asked.
“I want at least thirty-six,” Bree said.
“I don’t need that many, do I?” Riley asked, her eyes wide. “That’s too many.”
“I don’t know, but it never hurts to be prepared. Look at how many we’ve already used.” The argument settled within the room. Bree’s gaze swept toward Riley’s brothers, who all wore matching expressions of frustration and worry.
But none made comment on Riley’s need for the drones, which meant they’d either turned that corner of trusting her themselves, or someone had shoved them around it. Bree suspected it was mostly the latter but figured it didn’t matter.
“What can we help with?” Vi asked, as she and Mary came and sat at the table.
“I was hoping you two, along with Zoey and maybe Cord or Jacob, if they are here, could upload the programming onto the chips. That’ll free Rhea, Nikki, and I to deal with the drone tech only.” Bree glanced around and realized Cord and Jacob were both standing behind her. “Great. You’re both here. This’ll be perfect.”
“There are more ready to help if we need them,” Nolan said. “Word spread you were building. Everyone wanted to help.”
Bree smiled. Happiness filled her. They wanted to help her build the drones. How cool was that? She hadn’t expected so many commandos to volunteer their downtime between ops. Those precious moments were few and far between these days. “This should be enough. I’m going to show everyone how to do each step, then turn you loose. We can go from there.”
Everyone nodded.
“Advice?” Marshall asked.
“Of course.” Bree faced the eldest Mason. He was super smart and often thought of things she didn’t. She still considered him the most intimidating of the brothers, mainly because he was all business and a freaking vault the rest of the time. He hovered on the periphery of groups when there was something going on, but he rarely interacted with anyone outside of his brothers and the team leaders. “Hit me.”
“Choose two of us for the assembly after tech. They’ll show the others.”
Okay, that wasn’t what she’d expected. Bree blinked. “Sure. But, out of curiosity, why?”
“Because we don’t talk tech,” Nolan said with a smirk. “They can ask the questions we’ll want to and it’ll go quicker for you. They’ll also get a better view of the assembly if we aren’t all grouped around you.”
Yeah, she’d worried about everyone seeing what they needed to. Marshall’s suggestion made total sense, and she was glad they were okay with having appointed leaders for the section of work. Hmm…now came the awkward part. She wouldn’t ever consider Marshall or Nolan as the ones to be in that role. Neither of them were particularly tech savvy.
“Perfect. That makes a lot of sense.” She looked at Marshall. “Thank you. Any recommendations?”
“Doug and Addy,” Gage said quickly. “Doug is already half geek but won’t admit it, and Addy’s been around you the longest. Geek seeped into her a long time ago.”
Kristof and Jud both chuckled. Addy glared at them both. “I’m in.”
“Show us what to do,” Doug said with a grin. “And I embraced my inner geek long ago.”
Ram entered, along with Lars. He clapped her brother on the back and grinned. “I figured Lars could help us with this. He’s been wanting to see what you do.”
“That’s great.” Bree cleared her throat. She hadn’t even considered asking her brother to help tonight but should have. “Lars can watch with Addy and Doug. He’s always been good at putting stuff together, but he thinks more like a commando than me.”
“Great,” Marshall said. “Welcome to the assembly line. It’ll likely get crazy in here.”
“I’m okay with crazy.”
Could eyes bleed? If they did, Ram’s were close to that point. He took a step back from the assembly table and shook his hands out. Everything they’d been working with was so small. Not even the magnifying glass worked well after the first two hours.
“I knew what she did was amazing, but this…this is next level,” Ram said. “And she usually does all of this. Alone.”
“Never had a clue how much was involved,” Nolan admitted. He set the tweezers down and glanced at the test area. “I definitely didn’t know she tested everything once it was completed.”
“Of course she does,” Pierce said. “I’ve always known she does more than we realized. She needs help.”
“She does.” Marshall’s jaw twitched. “Nikki’s here now, but Bree and Rhea need more help if we’re going to rely on this tech even more in the future.”
“I never had a clue this is what she did,” Lars said. He looked down the long table, where micro drones in assorted stages of completion lay. “This is amazing.”
“It’s also a weird crossroads,” Dylan admitted. “It’s easier for us to say we don’t need the tech, but I can’t imagine going out on missions without it.”
Ram nodded as he stretched his arms over his head. How did she do this for hours every day and not have an aching back? Hunched over a table for that long wasn’t healthy. Was it? He glanced over at the first table, where she, Rhea, and Nikki had worked alongside Cord and Jacob without a rest break yet even though it’d been more than four hours since they’d started.
Vi and Mary had both taken small breaks, but they’d used them to walk the assembly line and check in with everyone, so that wasn’t much of a rest. Ram had a newfound respect for the brainiac crew—which was saying something because he’d already admired everything they did.
Fallon and Medina took Ram’s and Marshall’s positions
in the assembly line so the work would continue. They’d rotated the tasks between all the operatives who’d shown up to help. But Bree didn’t have anyone to tap in so she could rest.
He wandered over to her area, making sure his approach was loud enough not to startle her or the others. Cord glanced up first, followed by Jacob. Ram offered both a chin lift and set his hands on Bree’s shoulders. A soft moan escaped her as he massaged her shoulders.
“Don’t spoil me, commando. I could get used to this.” She leaned back into the contact as she peered up at him. “Hey.”
“Hey.” He kissed her forehead. “You need to walk around, sweetheart. You all do.”
“We will. Soon,” Nikki said. “We only have five more to finish.”
“Thank you for letting us help down here,” Marshall said as he approached. “Tonight was good for us all. We have new insight into what it takes to get the tech we use up and going.”
“No shit,” Cord replied. “I didn’t have a clue, and I’m in their crew. Sort of.”
“You’re definitely in our crew,” Bree said. “You and Jacob have been kicking coding butt over there. You two, Zoey, Mary, and Vi have only had one drone not programmed right—and that was at the start.”
“Jacob and I can keep helping with this coding in the future. So can Cord,” Zoey said. “We’ll need to coordinate schedules, but I’m in for helping with this in the future because you shouldn’t have to do all this work alone.”
“I agree,” Marshall said. “You, Rhea, and I will sit down and discuss getting more bodies down here to help you. We’ve got enough tech savvy operatives around here. They can help with a lot of this.”
“The good thing is once drones are constructed, we can typically reuse them. That limits how many times this entire process is necessary.” Bree heaved a loud sigh. “The trouble with these little buggers is that we won’t always be getting them back. Thus, the need for a lot of them just in case. I don’t ever want to not have the tech you all need for a mission on hand.”
“And we appreciate that,” Marshall replied. Warmth filled his gaze. “More than you’ll ever know. Thank you.”