He was closer to her age. He never killed anyone. Never even attempted until I confessed my crime against his father. He owned a thriving business. I wondered if she taunted him the way she taunted me.
Groaning, I changed the radio station, the soft Latin melodies no longer soothing me and my spiraling thoughts. I hit the seek button until I gave up, slamming the heel of my hand on the power button, surrounding myself in silence.
The silence didn’t help any, it only invited more questions that I would never know the answers to. I pulled in the parking lot of Hank’s, noticing Nolan’s car already parked. I parked in between his and another car. A car I recognized by the decal on the rear windshield, the number 15 in Boston colors.
Fuck.
I looked down at my phone to see one missed call from Lily and a message from Nolan, dating ten minutes ago. You’re in trouble. Please hurry. I have no clue as to what to say to this woman but she keeps screaming.
Everything inside of me screamed to start my car up and drive the ten miles back home. I hadn’t planned to deal with Lily today. They say when your kid leaves the house, your life is supposed to feel like you’re on a permanent vacation. If that’s true, this was the worst fucking vacation known to mankind.
If only Annie didn’t look up at me, determination set in those deep blues, powerful words coming out in a shaky whisper. “He’s mine to kill.”
I made a promise to her. A promise I didn’t intend to break. But I also made a promise to myself, to protect her and I didn’t plan on breaking that one either.
I slammed the car door shut and walked through the main entrance of the bar. The bar was closed, only Manny, the bartender and my co-owner of the bar, visible busy cleaning out glasses from behind the bar, a Reggaeton beat playing through the speakers.
He tilted his head up in greeting and I did the same. “Pour me a whiskey neat, will you?”
He nodded. “You don’t usually do whiskey, Hector.” He wasn’t wrong. I was a simple man who loved nothing more than a bottle of Corona at dinner. Being a father to Samuel so young and raising him by myself for most of his life forced me to grow up fast. Drinking and partying were never really an option for me.
I afforded myself with whiskey when I found myself on edge. With a woman who tried killing me sleeping next to me each night and another woman who tried killing me waiting for me downstairs, I was as close to the edge as I could get.
I downed the fiery liquid in one gulp, slamming the glass on the counter. “Any trouble here lately?”
He shook his head, taking my cup and placing it in the steel basin behind the bar. “It’s been quiet. Busy but quiet. This annoying drunk hasn’t shown up in over a week. Maybe Allah answered my prayers.”
I smiled at him. Not his god or anyone else’s, just me. “Thanks for the drink, man. Call me if you need anything.”
He tipped his head once more. “Good luck. The beautiful ass woman who walked in here ten minutes ago looked like she was on a rampage and this was her first stop.”
I chuckled. That sounded like Lily. I walked away from him without another word. I opened the basement door, closing it behind me. I didn’t hear her or Nolan’s voice. I crept down each step, trying to escape Lily’s notice. If I could watch her, catch a glimpse of her body language, see how hot the fire in her eyes was, maybe I could do some damage control.
Reaching the bottom step, I saw Nolan tucked against the wall, his hands folded in front of his waist, his eyes closed. Lily bent over the mattress, her hands hovering over Cameron’s still body.
As if sensing me, she whipped around and pinned me with a glare, her finger pointed at me accusingly. Before I could even ask what was wrong, she gained on me.
One delicate brown finger nudged my sternum and she angled her head to look at me. “Hector Rivera.”
I took a deep breath and waited for the lecture bound to come. “What is this,” she asked, flinging her hand backward, motioning to Cameron. I didn’t look.
I pursed my lips together, saying anything would be worse than saying nothing it all. This wasn’t my first rodeo with Lily.
“I will tell you what this is. This is a body that should be in the hospital. You hit an artery, Hector! A fucking artery and you thought some blood and antibiotics would fix him. When Nolan came in, the man’s skin was green.”
I lost her when she said artery, my eyes flicking to Cameron’s body. Please don’t tell me. Please don’t fucking tell me I killed him. She would never look at me the same. She wouldn’t kill me. This would kill her. I would kill her.
I pushed away from Lily’s finger, rushing to his bedside. The puffs against his oxygen mask almost had me sinking to the floor in relief. I turned around to see Lily’s hips jutted out, her hands curled into fists resting upon them. She held my eyes for so long, neither of us uttering a word, our eyes doing all of the talking.
Her body relaxed as she sighed. “Walk me out, Hector.”
She headed toward the stairs, not giving me a chance to oblige. “Nolan.” His head popped up. “I’ll be back. Watch him.” He answered in the form of the nod and I took the stairs two at a time to catch up with Lily.
I followed her outside and she popped the trunk. Two recyclable bags full of medicine greeted us. “What’s this?” I asked quietly.
“What did he do, Hector?” she whispered. Her voice held no disgust for what I did to him.
I didn’t answer immediately. Over the years, Lily has seen a lot from me. This was different. As much as I hated to admit it, even to myself, this was personal. “I don’t know,” I finally admitted, resting my head against the top of the trunk.
“This is what you do to someone whose crimes you don’t know?” She looked at me, her eyes widened in horror. “Hector, I’ve seen what you do to rapists and women abusers. That man inside...” Her voice trailed off, dismay ringing in her voice.
“You didn’t hear it, Lily. It’s been a week and I can still hear it. The sound of her screams is something I’ll never be able to get out of my head.”
My eyes snapped open when I felt the warmth of her skin wrapping around my wrist. I sought out her eyes and I could see a hint of a smile in them, a bigger one stretching across her lips. “So, this is for a woman?”
I felt my own lips tug in a smile. “Isn’t it always?”
* * *
The minute I stepped into Philly Range, I felt a familiar calm wash over me. While Hector unknowingly made it his favorite hobby to rattle me, Philly Range was my meditation, my peace. And it had been a long two weeks without it.
No one went out of their way to greet me. As I walked through the building, from the shooting range itself, to the cozy room artists sketched their ideas for new guns, to the rec room where people socialized after a shooting session, I received a few nods from the regulars. It felt like I hadn’t been gone at all. I didn’t bother seeking out Matt. The longer I could hold off his inquisitive eyes and his demand for answers, the better.
I headed straight to my sanctuary and within moments, I lost myself in guns. Lost in my calm. I didn’t have knowledge of how much time had passed; I only counted the number of guns I tore apart, cleaned, and put back together. I counted number twenty-eight when a sharp knock on the door brought me back to the real world.
Matt leaned against the door frame, a cocky smile plastered on his face.
I held my breath as I soaked him in. It felt like an eternity since the last time the two of us stood in this room. I always joked with him that we weren’t really friends but the way my lips curved up without a second thought at his presence, I knew I’d been lying to the both of us for a long time.
“Hey,” I said softly and then frowned. I didn’t do soft. Matt’s expression mirrored mine.
“Are you actually being nice to me right now?” One of his hands, previously stuffed in his pockets, shot to his chest, clutching his shirt in mock surprise.
“Ha ha ha,” I deadpanned, hitching a shoulder up. “I did ghost y
our ass. Pretty sure that breaks at least five friendship rules.”
How the hell would I know? I’d never had a friend before. I thought I would never see him again. I thought he’d be out of my life forever. I also thought I’d be in Mexico having everyone call me Olive James and putting my rusty Spanish to use.
A shit-eating grin shaped his lips, his brown eyes sparkling. “Oh, so you’re admitting we’re friends now.”
I bit my lip to stop a smile from blooming on my face. “Don’t make me regret it.”
He mock saluted me. “I ordered some pizza from Buzzi’s. Take a break and explain to me where the hell you’ve been.”
Ignoring his demand, I put the gun I was working on back together and placed it back where it belonged. “I left a note.”
I didn’t have to look up at him to see his disbelief; I heard it across the room when he scoffed.
I grabbed my favorite gun in the room since Hector still held my gun captive. A sleek, black railed pistol and loaded it up with bullets. “Anyone in the shooting range right now?”
“It’s all yours, Annie,” he mumbled as I passed him, heading straight for the range room.
I knew I hadn’t heard the last from Matt. I knew the note I left pissed him off. But it was better than leaving nothing at all. At least, I thought so.
I grabbed a pair of earmuffs from the rack and a few extra packages of bullets. I could hold a gun in my hand all day and not fully realize just how powerful it was. Not until I stood in position. Shoulders straight, arms level, two steady hands holding the butt of the gun, my eyes studying my target.
In that moment, every single time, it felt like I was something else. Something more. I wasn’t an orphan. I wasn’t a girl with a ten-year revenge plan. I was in a bubble of adrenaline, doing something I knew for a fact I was good at. In that moment, with my finger brushing against the trigger before curling around the steel and sending a single bullet blasting through the air, I knew exactly who I was. I was just Annie and I didn’t have to define her.
When I ran out of bullets, I brought the paper target forward, satisfied to see that every round went in the head or chest of the figure on the paper. After I returned to my office, I picked up where I left off, getting lost in the machinery. After the overflowing bin of guns that needed to be cleaned disappeared leaving only a few left, I chanced a glance outside through the lone small window in the room, perplexed to see the sun setting. I picked up my phone, wincing at the time. I did not intend to stay that late. I stared at the phone in my hand, unsure of how to get a hold of Hector. I didn’t even have his phone number. Except I did. Looking through my contacts his was located at the top, right before Jessica’s, a woman who could have been my friend if I could have afforded one.
I shook the thought of her away and tapped on the call button next to his name and held the phone to my ear. It didn’t even ring once before his gravelly voice filled my ear. “I’m already waiting for you outside.”
He didn’t give me a chance to reply. He just hung up. I stood there for a moment, unable to move my feet to take me outside, to take me to him. My heart thumped hard against my chest and it wasn’t the only part of my body in overdrive. I shook my body out, taking a deep breath, and went to him. His car sat in his earlier spot. I climbed up in the passenger seat and looked at him. “I hope you weren’t sitting out here all this time,” I said, almost guiltily. I did tell him I was only going to stay there for a few hours, not the entire damn day.
He avoided my words. “Do you have anywhere else you would like to go today?”
I shook my head. “No, but I am starving.”
“Do you want to wait for dinner or do you want me to stop and get you something to eat to hold you over?” I looked over at him just as he pulled on the highway. Everything about him was hard. His voice, his muscles, his hands. But for as hard as he appeared, he was so soft. I’ve not had a lot of experience with guys. My dad being my first and worst experience in that department. And the boys I interacted with in college weren’t much better. I wasn’t used to someone, let alone a man, care about my well-being, care about me. Hell, I wasn’t used to anyone sticking their neck out for me. I definitely wasn’t used to someone taking care of me.
I didn’t let him know that, before he stole his way into my life, I survived on a cup of ramen a day. “I can wait.”
He looked at me, brows furrowed. “Are you sure?”
I nodded and we were silent for the long drive back to his mansion. At least I was, I fell asleep before we even made it out of the city.
I woke when I felt my body moving. I blinked a few times to clear my vision and saw an ass. A literal ass. Hector’s ass. I was upside down, being carried up the well-lit driveway of his mansion. Hector had me thrown over his shoulder, his arm settling across the back of my thigh, holding me in place. The feel of his skin on my body, even through the material of my jeans, created a mix of fluttering and heat deep in my stomach.
“I’m being carried,” I said aloud.
I felt his body vibrate with a laugh. “So observant, bonita.”
“I can walk.”
“We’re already inside,” he said, and a second later, he flipped the switch by the door and flooded us with the dim lights in the living room. He brought me to the couch and deposited me there. His touch, his warmth disappeared in a second and I had to fight the urge not to pout. “Your stomach was making more noise than the music in the car. I’ll get started on dinner.”
I watched him go. I would like to say that I laid there on the couch with my eyes closed. Or that I went upstairs to unpack the rest of my things that Hector set by my feet. But I didn’t do any of those things. I kicked off my shoes, climbed to my knees and sat on the couch, my arms resting on the back of it, and I watched him. I watched him move around the kitchen like he belonged there. It reminded me of myself at the shooting range. It was second nature. I watched him until he started heating tortillas on the stove. I rearranged my legs, preparing to join him in setting the table when his gaze snapped in my direction. I froze as he held me captive with those brown eyes until one of them slowly shut, sending me a wink causing my heart to stop altogether.
He turned around, going back to the tortillas while I fought to regain my composure. I stood slowly before making my way into the kitchen, dancing around him to help lay the dishes of food across the table. I grabbed a bottle of Corona for him without asking and a carton of tea for myself. He didn’t look at me as I walked from the kitchen into the dining area. His concentration focused on pulling cilantro leaves apart.
“How did today go?”
I looked over at him before snapping my eyes back to the table and the silverware in my hands. I needed to stop looking at him. “It was good. I definitely didn’t mean to stay that late.”
“When did you learn to first shoot?” he asked as we both sat down and loaded our plates. Somehow, he knew I wanted a Mexican taco, not that American bullshit.
My eyebrows pressed together. “Why?”
He shrugged nonchalantly. “I’m just curious.”
I was quiet while I polished off my first taco. “At home,” I said, leaving out the “foster” part. “I lived with two older boys. Two older boys who were big nerds. They had every violent video game you could get your hands on. I guess that was my first time shooting a gun, even though it was through a TV screen. Truth is, I didn’t touch my first gun until the first semester of my sophomore year of college. That’s when I started working at Philly Range. Matt didn’t want to hire me, even when I told him that it didn’t have to be on the records. But I was persistent. I showed up every day and I guess I wore him down over time. I clean the guns and he pays me and I get access to the shooting range. I’ve been there ever since.”
“Matt Panini?” Hector’s inquisitive eyes were glued to me.
I nodded, covering my mouth.
“He taught you to shoot?”
I laughed abruptly, shaking my head. “No. If Matt teaches y
ou how to shoot a gun, it’s only because he wants to get in your pants or vice versa.”
He grunted. “Sounds like him.”
“Do you know him?”
Hector nodded. “I’ve known the Panini family a long time. My son knows him more than I do. I’ve only met him a couple of times.”
“He’s not horrible.” That earned me a chuckle from behind his bottle of beer. “So, I taught myself. It didn’t go great the first time or the second, or well, you get the idea. Black eyes and strained hands for weeks, maybe months, if I’m being honest. But by the time the spring semester came around, I was a natural.”
Each of us polished off a couple more tacos before his next question came. “What did you study at college?”
My entire body froze, a steely guard rising and taking over. “What is this? Twenty questions?”
He flinched at the harshness in my voice and his once relaxed lips turned into pressed lines. I instantly felt horrible but I couldn’t take it back and even if I could, I knew I wouldn’t. He couldn’t know that side of me.
If he knew about the bachelor’s degree I held in Social Work and my experience in the field, I wasn’t sure if there would have been a six-month deal on the table. I wasn’t sure if he would’ve given me a choice and it’s too late in the deal to risk it.
I knew he thought that he was doing me a favor with this agreement. To find my anchor to keep living, to not let the fact that I took a life drown me. But the truth was that everything I have done, every decision that I have made since the day my mom died, was to avenge her. My entire being was for her, even if she wasn’t here to see it.
He got up and for the first time, he left the dishes where they lay, silently walking up the stairs. It was quiet for a few minutes until I heard the water running for a shower and the bathroom door slamming shut. I let out the deep breath I’d been holding, sinking into my chair. I rested my head over the back of the chair and closed my eyes, listening to Hector’s shower running. A Latin beat jerked my head up. Hector’s phone lit up with a picture of a guy, a few years younger than me who was the clear resemblance of his father. This had to be Hector’s son.
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