Sometimes, it was a combination of the three.
“Sure, sweetie. Just let me get these in the oven and we can pull up the seating chart again.”
I shifted. “It’s actually not about the seating chart.”
“Oh,” she said, opening the oven and sliding the baking sheet of squares inside before she popped it closed again. “Is it the registry? I know we’re a little behind, but we can get it all done before next Sunday. Most people wait until the last minute to buy gifts for the shower, anyway.”
“Mama,” I said, taking a seat at the kitchen island. “It’s important.”
I set the ring Anthony had given me on the counter with a gentle clink, metal hitting granite, and it was as if that sound alone stopped Mama in her tracks.
She stopped right in front of the sink, one hand under the faucet and the other ready to turn it on, but she never did. Instead, she just stood like that, glancing at the ring, at me, back at the ring, at me again.
Her face paled, and she turned back to the sink, kicking on the faucet with her wrist before running her hands under the water. “We still need to decide what readings you want to do during the ceremony. I was thinking we should do something fresh. Corinthians is so overdone.”
My heart squeezed.
“Mama.”
“And you know, maybe we should do the twine like you wanted. Instead of the coral ribbon.” She dried her hands haphazardly on one of the towels hanging from the oven, immediately launching into clean up. “You were right, that would look so much classier.”
“Mama.”
“And we need to go in for your final fitting on Friday. Don’t forget that.”
“Mama!”
She winced, shutting her eyes and hanging her head between her shoulders with the sponge in her hand. She shook her head, eyes still closed, and I knew in her mind she was praying to God that I hadn’t actually taken my ring off.
“Please,” I begged her, my own throat tightening. “Can you please sit down?”
She sniffed, dropping the sponge on the counter and sitting at the stool across from me. She wouldn’t look at me. She kept her eyes on her hands, which were folded now, her right fingers playing with the ring that adorned her left.
I inhaled a deep breath once she was seated, once the ball was in my court. Dad and Anthony had gone out for the evening, back to the casino, and after talking to Annie first, she’d helped me decide that Mom was the first person I should tell in the family. From there, I could make a plan to talk to Anthony, to Dad, and figure out how to break the news to our close friends and family — and to the town.
If there was one thing Mama excelled at, it was damage control.
“I need your help,” I finally said.
She lifted her head a little, her worried eyes finding mine.
“I overheard Anthony on the phone yesterday,” I explained, and tears flooded my eyes, the shivers too much as I tried to steady my shaking hands by stuffing them between my thighs and the barstool. “He said some really awful things.”
“Men say awful things all the time,” she replied quickly. “They’re stupid. And half the time, drunk.”
“He was sober.”
“Whatever he said, I’m sure he didn’t mean it.”
“I’m calling off the wedding.”
Her eyes closed, and she shook her head, inhaling a deep breath before she opened her eyes again. This time, she held her shoulders back, her chin high, eyes locking with mine. “No, you most certainly are not, young lady.”
“I am. And I need your help, because we both know this is going to take a lot of damage control.”
“You’re not calling off the wedding!” she hissed, whispering as if someone might overhear. “You can’t,” she said, voice calmer.
“He said he fully intends on cheating on me,” I said, as gently as I could with those being the words coming from my mouth. “He said I’m perfect to fit the role he needs his dutiful wife to play. He said I was bred for this.”
“And you were.”
My mouth fell open. “I’m not a horse, Mother.”
“No, but you are the daughter of the Mayor of Stratford, and you are a Barnett. Do you understand the implications of what you’re saying? If you called off this wedding, the entire town would have something to say about it. You’d make our family a laughingstock. You’d bring us shame.”
“And if I don’t call off this wedding, I will be miserable for the rest of my life.”
Mom threw her hands up, rolling her eyes. “Oh, for heaven’s sake. So what, he wants to have some girls on the side. You think he’s the only husband to ever have that thought? Your father has had many a secretary in his day, and you know what? It never mattered to me. Because it was me who had the house, and the kids, and the life I always wanted. Those girls, those hussies?” She shook her head. “They were just sex, sweetheart. It means nothing.”
My mouth fell open wider. “Dad cheated on you?”
She waved me off. “Don’t be so dramatic. It’s not a big deal. And neither is any of that stuff Anthony said. He cares about you, Ruby Grace. He wants to provide for you, give you a home and a place to raise your children. He’ll make sure you never want for anything.”
“He doesn’t love me, Mama,” I whispered.
“What does love have to do with marriage?”
My heart broke again, this time by the realization that the love I thought my parents had was a sham. My father had cheated. My mother had stayed anyway. They weren’t in love, they were in a business agreement.
But I would not do the same.
“Everything,” I said. “It has everything to do with marriage. I refuse to marry a man who doesn’t love me, who sees me as a prize or another tick on his list of things to get done in order to make it to a run for president someday. I’m a human being. I’m a woman. I deserve a man who will love and honor and cherish me, just as I do him.”
“Anthony will do all those things.”
“While he cheats on me? While he tells his father that I have no ambitions and I’m pretty, so that’s a bonus?” I scoffed. “Mother, do you hear yourself?”
“You are not calling off this wedding,” she said, ignoring me and shaking her head. She stood again, crossing to the sponge and picking up where she left off cleaning.
“I am.”
“You are not.”
“Mama, I—”
“You can’t!” she screamed, turning in place. The sponge fell to the floor and her hands flew to her face, sobs racking through her in the next instant.
It was just like I’d thought
I broke her heart.
“Oh, Mama,” I said, rounding the island and sweeping her into my arms. I held her tight, holding back my own tears. “I’m so sorry.”
“No, no,” she said, sniffing and swiping at the tears on her face as she pulled back from my embrace. “You don’t understand. You can’t call off the wedding.” Her eyes found mine. “We made a deal, Ruby Grace. With Anthony and his father.”
My blood ran cold. “A deal?”
Anthony’s words swam in my head.
They need us to play our part, just like we need Ruby Grace to play hers.
Mom winced, her face screwing up before a few more tears were let loose. She swiped them away. “Honey, your father was in trouble.”
“Trouble?” I asked. “What kind of trouble?”
“Well,” she said on a sigh. “You know him and his card games. At the casino, he’s fine. Once he runs out of the money he came to play with, that’s it. And I keep a tight leash on what he’s allowed to piss away.” She let out a breath, brows quivering again. “But, I didn’t know. I didn’t know he’d been playing at the underground casino, the one the Scooters run out of their basement. I knew he went sometimes, just to show face, network, but I never thought…”
“Mom,” I interrupted. “What kind of trouble?”
She sniffed, running the back of her hand under her nose. �
��He was taking loans from them at the casino for cards, sure he would win and pay them back. But he kept coming up in the red. Over and over again.” She shook her head. “He didn’t even tell me until the Scooters threatened to expose everything if we didn’t pay up.”
I covered my mouth.
No.
“We were going to lose everything, Ruby Grace,” Mom said, reaching forward to grab my free hand in hers. “The house. The cars. Everything. He was in an amount of debt we couldn’t even dream of repaying.”
“But, he’s the mayor,” I said, lip trembling. “He’s always made good money. We’re fine.”
Mom shook her head. “He never made money like this.”
I dropped my hand from my mouth, shaking my head. “I don’t understand.”
“We were in deep, trying to figure out what our options were, when Anthony came to your father to ask for your hand,” she explained. “And… well… we saw an out. We saw a way to make our problem disappear, and Anthony saw a way to get what he needed, too.”
My blood ran cold.
It couldn’t be.
It couldn’t possibly be my mother standing across from me, speaking about me as if I was some old antique china cabinet or a prized hog to be bartered with.
But it was.
And suddenly, the betrayal I thought I’d felt from Anthony was nothing.
“How could you?” I whispered, shaking my head as tears flooded my eyes.
“I’m so sorry, baby,” she said, reaching for me.
I yanked away.
“It was our only choice. We would have lost everything.”
“Yeah? Well, now you lose me,” I spat, turning on my heels. “I’m calling off the wedding.”
“Ruby Grace! Please!”
She grabbed me from behind, spinning me around to see the devastation in her eyes — the desperation in her eyes.
“This is your family,” she said through her tears. “This is your father, and your mother, and your sister. This is your family’s legacy, the Barnett name, our entire reputation. This is more than just a wedding. This is the only way to save our family from complete and utter wreckage.” She stood taller. “And I understand it isn’t fair. I do. And I am so, so sorry that you are in the middle of this.” Mama swallowed, like she didn’t like the taste of the next words she was about to speak. “But, you are a part of this family. And that means that when a fire happens, you do whatever you have to do to put it out.”
My next breath felt like the fire she spoke of. It was hot in my lungs, searing every fiber of muscle and organ around it. I whimpered at the feel, at my mother’s hands on my arms, at the plea she was giving.
“You cannot walk out on this family,” she said, tears building in her eyes once more. “We are a unit. We stay together — always — and we will get through this together. But we need you, Ruby Grace. Your father needs you. Your sister needs you. I need you.”
I couldn’t speak, couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. Every muscle in my body was locked in place, heart racing, pulse heavy in my ears.
“You can call off the wedding,” she finally said. “But if you do, you’re calling off this family, too.”
My mother’s eyes searched mine in a way they never had before, in a way I never knew they could. I’d never seen my strong, commanding mother look so broken, so desperate, so on the verge of losing it. She looked at me like I was the key to everything, and I realized in that moment that I was.
She was right.
This wasn’t just about me anymore.
And bile rose in my throat at what that meant.
We both jumped a little when the front door opened, Dad calling in from the foyer that he and Anthony were home. Mom’s eyes doubled in size when they looked back at me, her pupils dilating as they flicked back and forth.
She needed an answer.
She needed to know what I would do.
She needed to know if she was safe, if our family was okay, or if everything was about to be blown to smithereens.
“Mmm, are those lemon squares I smell?” Dad asked, his voice closer now. He and Anthony would round into the kitchen at any moment, and either everything would be exactly as they left it, or nothing would be the same again.
Time was up.
And I had to make the hardest decision of my life.
Mom sucked in a breath when I pulled out of her grasp, but I didn’t meet her eyes again as I made my way to the island.
Just as Dad and Anthony swung into the kitchen, I slipped the ring back on my finger.
Noah
I could barely contain my excitement when Friday finally came around.
All week long, my thoughts had been tied up in Ruby Grace.
When I was working, I’d watch my hands make whiskey barrels, but in my head, I remembered the way they looked like making Ruby Grace squirm in my bed. When I was at home, I saw her everywhere — on my couch, in my bed, in my shower. When I visited Mom in the middle of the week for a surprise dinner, I thought of Ruby Grace, of how one day I would dance with her in our kitchen.
I was in too deep, too fast. I knew it. I tried to hold myself back, but it was pointless.
I’d had a taste of her, and now, I wouldn’t rest until I had all of her, too.
To pass the time that work didn’t take up, I worked on my surprise for Ruby Grace. I knew exactly what I would say to tell her what I’d done, and where I’d take her to do it.
That’s why, on Friday night, I asked her to meet me at Tank’s stable at dusk.
I was getting him ready, brushing him and giving him a snack before I got him saddled up, when I saw a pair of familiar legs making their way down the hill.
The sun was setting, the clouds turning orange and pink and purple, casting a fairytale glow over the field of wildflowers Ruby Grace walked through to get to me. I paused where I was petting Tank, breath catching in my throat at the sight of her. She had her hands in the back pockets of the tiny jean shorts she wore, her long hair an illuminated orange and floating on the breeze behind her as she walked. She was so tanned from the summer, and the white, flowy tank top she wore just accentuated that bronze glow even more.
I swallowed, watching her take each step.
The closer she got, the more my heart raced.
I let out a whistle when she was close enough to hear, and as soon as I did, a grin split her face.
“Damn, Legs,” I said, crossing my arms and not bothering to hide my eyes as they scanned her. “You should come with a warning label, you know that? Warning: this woman will knock any unsuspecting man dead upon first glance. Proceed with caution.”
She chuckled, shaking her head and stopping a few feet away from me. She crossed her arms to mirror mine. “You say that like you would have heeded the warning.”
“Oh, I one-hundred percent would have disregarded it entirely,” I said. Then, I opened my arms. “C’mere.”
A tinge of sadness touched her eyes as she stepped into me. When I wrapped my arms around her, she rested her head on my chest, a deep sigh leaving her lips.
“Long day?” I asked.
“Long week,” she answered, and her hands fisted at my back, twisting my flannel shirt in her grasp like she was in danger of me floating away. “Can you just hug me for a while?”
“For as long as you want,” I answered easily.
She sighed again, turning her face until her forehead was buried in my chest. She held me tight, and I held her tighter, gently swaying us as the sun set. And though she seemed content there, happy, even — I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.
It wasn’t until Tank neighed, annoyed at the lack of attention, that Ruby Grace finally let me go.
“I see you, too, Tank,” she said, voice soft as the smile on her face as she slipped out of my arms and over to him. She ran her hand over his neck, fingers touching his mane. “You look like you’re ready for an adventure.”
“I think he knows where we’re going,”
I said. “It’s one of his favorite places, too.”
“And where exactly is it that we’re going?”
I smiled, patting Tank’s saddle. “Hop up and you’ll find out.”
We were both quiet on the trail, the only sound the rhythmic, soothing sound of Tank’s hooves hitting the dirt and the soft buzzing of the insects coming alive as the sun set. I let my eyes wash over the lake, the tall weeds and flowers in the fields, the tall trees, their branches hanging over and shading the trail from time to time. And Ruby Grace rested her cheek between my shoulder blades, her arms wrapped around me, breathing soft.
Something was on her mind.
We hadn’t talked much all week — mostly because I was honoring my promise to let her have her time to sort everything out. I had no idea what had happened since we parted, how she had broken the news to her family, to Anthony. I imagined they were still figuring out how to handle the fall out, since I hadn’t heard anyone gossiping about it yet.
I knew that time would come. And I’d be there for her when it did.
“I think there’s a storm coming,” she mused, pointing to some building clouds in the distance. As if on cue, a soft roll of thunder made its way over the lake.
“Don’t worry. We’ll have shelter.”
The sun had just dipped below the horizon when we reached our destination, and I pulled Tank to a stop, hopping down before tying him up to his favorite tree. It was right by the edge of the lake, and he could graze the grass next to it and get as much water as he wanted.
“Good boy,” I said, rubbing his neck as I fished out an apple from my saddle pack.
“A treehouse?” Ruby Grace asked as I helped her down. She slid her hands in her back pockets as soon as her boots were on the ground, and I inhaled a stiff breath.
I was so jealous of those goddamn hands…
“This isn’t just a treehouse,” I told her. “This is the treehouse. It’s in the best location, made from the sturdiest wood, and it has the absolute coolest hangout inside. It’s award-winning. And usually, girls aren’t allowed. But, you know, I’ll make an exception just this once.”
She smirked, nudging me with her shoulder as she scanned the treehouse.
On the Rocks Page 21