“Danhoul said you needed to speak with me. Though he wasn’t forthcoming, by the sober look he wore, I’d wager what news you have is dispiriting.” He remained standing and hadn’t drawn nearer to her.
“There is much we must discuss, Killian.”
He nodded and finally sat down across from her, but still he did not allow himself to look at her. She wasn’t certain where to begin and she sat quietly searching for the correct words knowing there were truly no words that would ease the tension between them or any of the truths she must reveal.
“I did not ever wish to see you hurt, Killian,” she began in a hushed voice, “not ever, in no regard, not by me or by anyone who possesses magic.” He still looked downward and it was clear he was uncomfortable in her presence. “I am much regretful for many things, but especially for what happened that night.”
He stared off at the swaying trees and she saw the pain, the humiliation, and the anger, but he did not speak on that topic nor reply to her comment.
Instead, he chose to ask a question of his own. “Danhoul said you met with the council of the gods this day. Did they offer you a solution to your malady?”
She shook her head. “They were unable to rectify what ails me,” she lowly said.
His green eyes narrowed with uncertainty, but still stared off in avoidance of looking at her. “So what is it that must be done?”
“I am sorrowful to say there is nothing that can be done.”
“What are you saying, Alainn?” His eyes held a serious quality as they briefly gazed at her and his jaw tightened, but he looked down to the stone beneath his feet.
Alainn felt it tug at her heart as she reached across to gently touch his large, strong hand. Although she half expected him to pull away, he accepted her hand and took it in his own.
“I cannot continue with this deception. I must tell you the whole truth of it while I am able.”
He didn’t reply so she spoke on. “It is not only the lasting effects of the injury I suffered, or even the darkness from the cursed blade that threatens me now.” Her voice remained low.
This time his eyes met hers fully and he did not look away.
“You needn’t speak the words. I know, Alainn. I have known for some time that you carry a child that is not mine. Although I have suspected for some time, you were quick to dismiss the possibility you carried a child.”
“Truly I have not known for so long as you might suspect, unlike with our children when I knew immediately, I did not know this time till much later than I should have.”
He maintained some suspicion as his words settled within him, and he spoke again. “Perhaps there is some truth in your words, but I am not a stupid man, Alainn. As I said, I have suspected for weeks. Before we left England when you were spending so much time with the king, I think I knew even then you had been with him. I knew I would never simply be released from the tower, and that you would surely do whatever it took to see me freed.
“When I saw you’d obtained a decree from the king stating I was free to go, I feared it might be so, that you’d been with him. I didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to believe it, simply wanted to ignore the possibility it had been so, but sure I knew.
“Lily also told Cookson who soon after informed me, you saved her from being violated by the king, and although I did not inquire as to how you’d done so, I imagined it over and over again.
Alainn did not reply although the tears had begun to pour down her cheeks.
“I also am much aware you did attempt to tell me on more than one occasion, but I couldn’t allow you to speak the words, any more than I can this day.”
She took a deep breath and spoke once more. “The cursed blade has filled the child with much evil. It cannot be allowed to be born, Killian.”
“That is why you have been ailing so grievously?”
“Aye, I have tried to see the child gone from within me through various extreme methods though it pains me to know that I was made to attempt such drastic measures. I would never have thought I would agree to it, but the being growing within me bears a disturbing level of dark evil.”
“And that is what the gods have attempted as well, to have it ended?”
“Aye. It is certain if this child grows to be a man he would cause endless death and destruction, and evil shall follow wherever he goes.”
“Even with the powers of all the gods combined, it wasn’t accomplished?”
She shook her head and her face showed her resignation and defeat. “They appear regretful as well.”
“So what is to be done now?”
“There is nothing further to be done, Killian, and the child cannot be born.”
“Are you saying you’re going to die?” He glanced at her with pain in his eyes and he asked again. “With all their many great powers and supernatural abilities there must be something that can be done, they are damnable gods; they can’t simply allow you to die.”
“It is not that they will allow me to die… they cannot permit me to live.”
Killian let go of her hand and he stood once more for realization had struck him.
“They are going to end your life? They are going to kill you!” His voice had grown stronger and more filled with emotion. He began to pace as he often did when he was fretful even though it was obvious moving about caused him much discomfort.
“It must be done, Killian. There is no other approach. The evil being cannot be born. It is feared he will cause the end of all those I love, perhaps to all humankind.”
“Well, I won’t allow them to simply take your life!” He turned to look at her and winced as he moved.
“It is the only way.”
He strived to find another solution and he spoke again. “The council of the gods has truly discussed this at length?” he asked. “They believe beyond a doubt there is nothing that can be done? What if the child was allowed to be born and the evil dealt with then, when you are free of it? You would be permitted to live.”
“It cannot be risked, Killian. With each day it grows stronger and more in control. It cannot be allowed to draw breath outside of my womb for the gods believe by then I may have turned to the evil side of my abilities as well, that I will be tainted with the darkness growing inside me.”
Their eyes met once more and she was filled with resolve. “I have accepted this fate, Killian, and now you must as well, my love.”
He sat back down again and this time he sat beside her on the settee, though he did not touch her. “There has to be another way!”
She shook her head in resignation. “Go home to Ireland, Killian, to your castle. Finally, you’ll be allowed to live a life of normalcy, with none of the perils or uncertainties of having your fate coupled with someone with magical abilities. All the unpleasant happenings would not have occurred if you’d been wed only to an ordinary woman. Now you’ll be free to live a happy, uncomplicated life.”
“I could never be happy without you in my life, Alainn.” He avowed and he looked away.
She gently touched his arm and he turned to stare at her though she knew he did not care to hear her words.
“Killian, you must turn your eyes to Roisin. I do not believe in coincidence. Sure she was fated to come back into your life so that you could create a life with her after I am gone. She is gentle and timid, and virtuous of spirit. She needs a man to care for her, to protect her, to be loving and kind to her. You have a tender fondness for one another that will surely one day grow to love. Previously, she’s only known abuse from a man, never wholesome passion or mutual desire. You can teach her much, Killian as you have taught me, my only love. You have a chance at true happiness now.”
“Once more you push me away, Alainn, when all I have ever wanted is to spend the rest of my days with you.” His voice broke as he spoke.
Alainn looked at him with new seriousness. “The gods have assured me they could offer you a kindness. They can see to it that the memories of me are entirely
wiped from your mind.”
Killian glowered at her at this unthinkable suggestion. “All of the memories of you and me from the first day we met, from childhood to this day swept away? You would dare to see my memories gone, all we have shared; all that we have been to one another simply wiped clear from my mind? You would see that taken from me when memories are all that I will have of you?” His voice cracked further and she saw he fought to stem his tears.
“But there are so many difficult memories, as well, Killian, so much heartache. Losing Cian, our time in England… your recent suffering at the hands of the witch brought about by me.”
“The good endearing memories far outweigh the hard times. Having you in my life has been the greatest treasure I’ve even known, my Lainna.”
She moved closer to him and tenderly placed her arms around his neck. She cradled his head to her bosom and they wept together. Great sobs wracked his wounded body and he finally put his arms around her and tightly clung to her.
“You must tell me you forgive me, Killian, for I never meant to hurt you, my stalwart husband, my warrior, my only love. I have caused pain and suffering to the one person I love more than any other in the world.”
“Your magical abilities come with much responsibility, Lainna,”
“I caused you, the man I love more than anything else in this life, unimaginable agony and indecency to save a species that previously I didn’t even know existed.”
“But don’t you see, Alainn?” he said as he looked into her eyes with deep pride. “You saved an entire species! The trows will continue to live and thrive, because of you and your magnificent powers. How could you not choose to employ your magic to that end?”
“But at what cost, Killian?” She gently touched the bloodied tunic and thick raised ridges of the deep scratches down his back as she sent healing light throughout his body.
He flinched even at her gentleness and his eyes narrowed at the memory of what had caused the wounds. “Chieftains, kings, rulers, emperors, gods… anyone who wields any measure of power make decisions that affect many others. None of them ever go into battle without knowing there will be wounds and losses. I do not fault you, Alainn. I knew the risks.”
“But you attempted to dissuade me. I should have listened.”
“I am a grown man, much accustomed to the way of battles, and I knew the risks,” he simply repeated.
She stared into his eyes and longed to take away the haunting sadness.
“I thought I had lost you to the poisoned dart and to the fever after we lost Cian, once again to the cursed blade, and at the witch’s hand. I did not expect to see you soon gone by way of the gods’ decision,” Killian sorrowfully stated.
“But we’ve had over thirteen moons together since I was poisoned by the dart. More than a year we’ve spent together since that time. I only regret I have frittered away much of that time with trivialities that now seem inconsequential. My plight is greater, my love.”
Killian shook his head, and gazed into her eyes. “It cannot be, Lainna.”
“My plight is greater, Killian, for my heart is heavy in knowing this is my doing. Each and every decision I have ever made has led to this day.”
“You cannot take the blame for all of it, Alainn. It was me who took you to England. In truth, you would not carry this dark child or suffered the cursed blade if I hadn’t made the decision to take you with me to England.”
“You took me with you to keep me from Ciara and the dark coven, so that we could be together when we had spent so much time apart.”
He nodded, and his eyes were filled with tears.
“I should have simply allowed you to protect me and turned my back on magic.”
“No, Lainna, you are magical and it is part of who you are and part of who I fell in love with all those years ago.”
They continued to hold on to one another in desperation.
“Our spirits will find each other again, Killian. I am certain it shall be so.”
“Aye, my love, my sweet, beautiful Lainna, we will be reunited in the beyond and spend all eternity together.”
“I love you, Killian O’Brien.”
“And I love you, my Lainna.”
They shared a deep and all-encompassing kiss as the tears streamed down their faces. They sat together now in silence simply holding tight to one another, staring up at the beauty and resplendence of the four suns setting simultaneously. When the last crimson steaks had gone from the sky, and the evening shadows ominously grew longer, they heard movement behind them.
“You must come with me now, my kin,” Aine spoke in a solemn tone tinged with melancholy regret. “It is time.”
“It is to be done now… so soon?” Killian cringed.
Aine nodded, and Alainn slowly stood as Killian held tight to her hand.
“You must wait here, Killian O’Brien. We will see to it you are escorted back to your world straightaway. Young Danhoul will see you home.”
Killian shook his head in disagreement. “I want to be there when it’s done,” he firmly declared.
Alainn’s eyes held much uncertainty as he pleaded with her.
“Allow me to be there. If I were facing death this day, perhaps by a hangman’s noose or an executioner’s blade, I would want Alainn there with me to see me off. Tell me you want me there with you?” He grasped Alainn’s shoulders and stared into her eyes seriously.
“It will not be easy for you,” Alainn whispered.
“Nothin’ has ever been easy with you, my darlin’ Lainna,” he replied and he attempted a valiant smile.
She smiled back at him and he took her slender hand in his own powerful one and held on so tightly she felt it being crushed, but she did not flinch.
“You will be helpless to prevent this certainty, O’Brien, and you must vow you will not attempt anything foolish.” Aine warned. “Or you’ll be sent away immediately with no memory of what has transpired this day.”
“Aye, if you’ll allow me to be with Alainn, I’ll cause no discord.”
*
Alainn stood in the circle before Dagda. Her legs trembled as she stared out at the many gods. Killian and Danhoul stood together, but neither one looked at the other, both surely feeling heartsick they couldn’t prevent this. Lugh and Aine were there as well. All wore similar rueful expressions, but Killian’s eyes held such profound pain, Alainn wanted to turn from them, but she did not. She gazed into his enchanting green eyes and smiled a loving smile though the tears silently fell. She prayed he would remember her this way with a smile on her face and love for him in her eyes. She nodded to Danhoul as in farewell and his eyes held much regret. She glanced once more at Killian as her lips quivered and then turned away to face her fate.
She stared unwaveringly at Dagda.
“You fate has been decided this day, young Alainn from the line of Aine. Since we are unable to find a means to destroy the evil within you, you must meet your end this day.”
She simply nodded. Without further words or delay, the god raised his club in the air, but was soon distracted.
“Wait!” Killian loudly called out from where he was standing.
“You were told you must not interfere in this; you cannot prevent this, O’Brien.” Aine strictly advised.
Killian drew nearer to where Alainn stood, but he spoke only to Dagda. “I assure you, I will not attempt to prevent Alainn’s death. I simply have one request. Let me die with my wife.”
“Killian, no!” she cried in dismay.
“I want to leave with you, Alainn.”
Tears continued to stream down her face and she had begun to sob in earnest. His eyes glistened with tears as well.
“My darlin’, Killian, my brave, strong warrior. You have much to live for; your life cannot end this day”
“Alainn, you have risked your own life many times to save mine. Allow me to do this.”
“But you cannot save me, Killian. Ending your life would be for naught. I want you to li
ve a long and favorable life, with much happiness, a wife and many children.”
“Do not oppose me on this, Alainn,” he pleaded. “It would be my greatest desire to draw my last breath while holding you in my arms.”
“Is it possible?” Lugh asked Dagda.
“If he stands within the circle with his wife, when the club strikes the ground within the circle, his heart will stop as well. Their hearts will quit beating at precisely the same time, their lives will be ended together.”
Alainn trembled as she stared at the serious eyes of her husband so intent on his purpose.
“I will grant you this unusual request if your wife does not object.”
She appealed to him with tearful eyes and shook her head.
“Allow me this honor, my Lainna,” he said as he stepped within the circle and took her hand.
She rushed into his arms and he held her to him. She felt his strong arms around her, his chin resting on her head, his heartbeat against her cheek and the sound comforted her as nothing else could at this time.
The god who appeared as an old man stared at them with empathetic eyes and nodded to them respectfully though it was clear they were content to be holding on to one another and only had eyes for each other.
He held the infamous club of fate above his head and forcefully drove it down toward the ground. Alainn and Killian looked into each other’s eyes once more, then closed them tight as they stood clinging tightly to each other.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Even the gods were entirely stunned to see the large club pulled from Dagda’s hands by a towering giant. When they heard the gasps from the many other gods, the two young lovers finally dared to open their eyes. Alainn stared up at Dardangranov, the giant she had saved from the ring of wicked fairies. He bent far down so he could look at her, and he wore a pleased grin.
Alainn glanced skyward when she heard wings above her to see Enbarr, Lugh’s magical horse that she’d healed when it had been gravely wounded. He flew overhead and then nuzzled Alainn as he landed. The loud barking of thirteen hellhounds could be heard as they bounded over the enormous stones. Their handler Arawan was close behind. A god of few words, he too, simply grinned at her.
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