She ignored his comment regarding Roisin, but did address the previous mention of celibacy. “Not you, Killian. My God, for you to live a celibate life would be nearly criminal, certainly senseless,” she said as she stared up at his taut, commendable body, his broad chest and muscular arms and his sculpted thighs and buttocks, and then her eyes fell upon his manhood.
“I’ve brought your wee potion,” he said in a husky voice.
He stood and she went to him. His hand grazed her skin as he pulled her hair back kissed her neck. She took the vial from where he had set it on the stand and she poured the oil into her hands. She began to gently rub it upon his manhood and he immediately gasped at the sensation.
“By Christ, Alainn, what is it you have you done to me?”
“It contains mint, and oils, and a few other magical ingredients. Is it warm?”
“Aye, warm, but cool as well.” He sucked in his breath as she continued stroking him.
She caressed him from hilt to lengthy shaft to tip and back again and he moaned in pleasure. She steered him to the settee and he sat down where she knelt before him and stared up at him as she took him in her mouth and sensually looked at him while she pleasured him. He tensed his hips and moved involuntarily as she continued to create unprecedented pleasure for him. With her tongue, she teased him and taunted him till he grasped her by the shoulders and pulled her to face him.
“I need to be inside you, Alainn. You said I drove you to madness, well you’ve taken me far beyond.”
She smiled at him and repositioned her body so she straddled him. She moved above him with a carefree abandonment he’d never seen before. She unreservedly rode him and when he could abide the measure of ecstasy no longer, she squeezed him so tightly with her womanly parts, he called out in disbelief and she rode him again, and finally they reached their crests together and he felt himself taken to somewhere he had never been before. When she moved from him, he actually slid off the settee, slumped onto the floor and stretched out breathing raggedly.
“Killian, have I nearly killed you?” she whispered as she lay beside him and her lips kissed his ear.
“No, but when I do die, I would ask that you make certain it is you who takes my life in just such a manner,” he said in a breathless fashion.
She smiled and nestled close to him for a time and then took his hand assisting him to standing once more.
“And now that neither one of us is consumed in passion or deep desire we must continue this conversation.”
He stared into her eyes, took her hand, and followed her back into their bedchamber, but with no intention of being drawn into that unwelcome discussion.
Chapter Thirty-Six
They spent almost every minute together, walked hand-in-hand to nearly all the locations Alainn adored the most, and made love in most of them as well. Although the season was late and the sun did not hold the warmth of the long days of summer, they would take blankets with them and keep each other warm as they made love under the sun, the moon, and the stars.
They took their horses and rode together to the extent of the O’Donnel lands and beyond, and when they would arrive in the most favorable areas, Alainn would simply silently stare out at the cliffs, or the valleys, or the sea and he well knew she was memorizing every detail so when she was made to leave, she would remember it all.
He wished with all his heart he could take away the distinct sadness in her eyes, but he couldn’t for all his attempts, for he felt the same panic within his own heart in knowing their time together was limited and, with each passing day, the day she would need to leave drew nearer.
As they gazed out on a verdant green glen, she voiced her woeful thoughts. “I should like to see the beauty of the endless purple heather in bloom. I regret I shall not see it again.”
“Well sure, the abundant heather will bloom even in the future.”
She shrugged. “If I am to be taken to the Americas like our fathers and Tristan O’Malley, I do not sense heather will be found there.”
“Well, when you’re back here with me then, you’ll see it again soon enough.” He coughed for he’d been overcome with emotion.
Her eyes became serious and he knew she was desirous of discussing a topic that caused her to be fraught with certain perplexity.
“Do you recall when we were in the fairy glade during our honeymoon, when I stared into the deep magical valley and was disturbed by what I saw?”
“Aye, I asked you what you’d seen and you soon dismissed it, but I knew it had caused you distress.”
She nodded and stared into his eyes as she finally revealed the truth she’d seen that day.
“I saw myself in the future, Killian. I stared into my frightened, tormented eyes and I knew I would one day be forced to live in the future. I was lonely and unhappy and I pined for you so greatly I could feel my own heart nearly break at being parted.
“It was so loud, the din almost deafened me, and besides the actual disturbing sounds, there was a disquietude that left me entirely unsettled. I did not ever want to experience again. And now it is certain I must.”
His face must have revealed his concern for her. “And this was in the Americas, in this Boston you and our fathers spoke of?”
“No, that is another conundrum for me, for I well know the sad, frightened girl who stared back at me from within one of the windows in the massive unbelievably tall structure, was in London.”
“Christ, London here in our time is crowded and dirty, how must it be five centuries from now.”
“Aye, those were my thoughts as well.”
“You live with much uncertainty, Alainn, with soon being sent off to the future. I would give much to be able to ease your mind or to protect you from all of life’s pain and discomforts.”
“Aye, I know you would, my love, and that does offer me comfort in knowing you love me well. That I have been blessed with your uncommon love is something that I shall be forever grateful for. We both know no matter how much we love someone we cannot protect them. Even here in our time we always live with uncertainty, Killian. My magical abilities notwithstanding, we have faced disease, a storm at sea, poisons, lashings, a stay in the dungeon, purulence from wounds, not to mention the wrath of powerful men, and we lost our son, Cian, and our friend Mac, now Mary, and Conner and Riley.”
“Life is never without difficulties, but at least together we have shared the hard times and that lessened the load, my Lainna.
“Aye, and on that count, Killian O’Brien, we must discuss the dismal possibility I may not return to you.”
“Nay, I’ll not consider it, so therefore I’ll not discuss it.”
He took her in his arms and bent to kiss her.
“You will not distract me from this much warranted conversation by simply filling me with desire.”
“Aye, I will. That is precisely what I intend to do,” he said as he gently slid his hand from the small of her back down her backside.
“Killian, we must speak on Roisin.”
“So, you wish for her to be on my mind now as I stroke your lovely backside, untie your lacings, and place my mouth on your lovely breasts?”
She no longer protested or spoke on anything any further for he held her against the drystone wall, lifted her skirts, and proceeded to love her.
*
“So, allow me to get this flagrant absurdity straight within my mind. You’re actually telling me you want me to find another woman?”
They had walked hand-in-hand down the winding steps, leading down from their castle to the seaside. He caught her staring back at the castle, once more aware she knew soon that would no longer be the home they shared together. When he’d glanced at her, she’d smiled brightly and taken his hand so they might go to her much loved seaside. Now, they stared out at beautiful bay. They were sitting together on a sandy shore looking out at the sun reflecting on the sea, the seabirds calling and the waves lapping against the shore. Her brow furrowed and her light blue e
yes held much uncertainty. She had brought the topic up so many times in recent days; he’d finally listened to her undesired words, but without any level of seriousness.
“Well, I didn’t imply I want you to find a woman to love or to marry.”
“Aye, so you’ve said; you just want me to find someone to diddle?”
“Well, as we both know, I have no notion how long I might be gone.”
“So you’d be perfectly agreeable to me just taking a woman to my bed?”
“Well, maybe not one woman.”
“Oh, aye, so I’m to have many then, am I? At the same time or would it be just one at a time with these different women?”
“You need to take this seriously, Killian. You will need to see your desires sated, so clearly, you must ‘diddle’ other women, but should you have pleasant agreeable intimate relations with only one, you may well become too fond of her or you may eventually fall in love with her.”
“I see,” he said as he stared at her with still no amount of meditation. “I see you’ve given this much thought, which is considerate of you.” He could not contain his sarcasm.
“But you cannot be with too many. I don’t want you filled with a sordid contagion when I return to you.”
“You are most amusing, Alainn O’Brien.”
“There is nothing amusing about this whatsoever! I’m simply attempting to be sensible. You are a man with great and frequent natural carnal desires and they will eventually need to be sated. And, aye, you might be capable of stilling your needs by your own hand for a time, as you may have done in the past and as you have suggested, but if it should be months or perhaps years that I am gone, when your bed is long cold, it is doubtful stilling your own desires will suffice,” she said with a solemn expression on her face.
“So, you have it all determined then, do you?” He smiled at her.
“No, not entirely.”
“I cannot believe that you, one of, no surely the most jealous woman I know, is simply deciding that I should readily bed any number of women.”
“I did not say I am pleased with the notion. I despise it, but if I am being realistic then I should prepare myself for what is to be. And now I tell you straight, you cannot, under no circumstances, take Roisin to your bed.”
“Well, that comes as a surprise to me for when we were in the realm of the gods you told me I should marry her.”
“Well, that was when I was facing certain death and did not think I’d live another day. Now, I do not wish for you to take Roisin to your bed.”
“Aye, oh, I see, so you’re not only about deciding how many women I take to my bed, but whom I take as well. And since you once pushed me in her direction, and I may have dwelled upon the possibility to a degree, what I if I should like the notion of taking Roisin to bed?”
“Do you?” she asked and her temper had clearly begun to flare.
“Perhaps. As I said, it was you who once planted the notion in my mind, and it’s plain she is not difficult to look at. By your own admission, she’s never had a man love her in a pleasing manner. It might be a desirable consideration.”
Alainn was attempting to control her jealousy and behave in a mature manner. “Perhaps, if it were only on occasion, but do not take any woman to our actual marriage bed, make certain you never ever diddle Roisin in our bed, for if I should return, I would surely envision the images, and I—”
He could almost see her about to explode in temper, but still he pushed her.
“Oh, I’m certain the red-haired lass and I could find another bed, there are several within the castle, sure if she’ll have me, and isn’t opposed to the notion we might eventually spend some time in each of them. For if you’re maybe gone for years as you say, then perhaps you wouldn’t consider it too often if it was maybe every fortnight or so, or maybe once each moon. Sure you’d best tell me the frequency with which might please you. Maybe I wouldn’t simply have lovely Roisin on a bed, but maybe on the table in the herb chamber for that’s sure where I might find her when the mood strikes me, that might be erotically pleasurable. Maybe leave some of that herbal potion so she might rub it on her hands and then on my—”
She glared at him, punched his arm hard, harder than he would have thought she was capable, and stood up and walked toward the sea. He thought it best to give her a moment for he recognized the fury and the pain in her beautiful eyes. He’d been baiting her jealous temper, but he found her need to speak on this objectionable topic uncomfortable and preposterous.
He gazed at her as she lifted the skirts of her lovely blue gown with the wide white fringed sleeves. She wore it for now, for it was one of his favorites. He’d once claimed the red braiding near the laces perfectly framed her lovely breasts and that even when they sat in the company of many, at a banquet or even in chapel during mass, his thoughts were always on untying those laces and taking her to their bedchamber. They’d shared many a private gaze and sensual smile regarding that gown and he smiled now, but his heart ached, knowing soon all this talking, and laughter, and loving would come to an end…
He watched as she waded in the surely ice-cold water, and he watched her unparalleled beauty with a now familiar stabbing ache in his own heart.
They had promised each other they would simply take joy and pleasure in however many days or weeks they had together, but that was far easier said than done for always it was in the back of their minds that they would soon be parted. Now, Alainn had taken it upon herself to make decisions for when she was gone. She was being serious, maybe even realistic, as she’d suggested, but he couldn’t allow himself to think about such ludicrous notions of her suggesting he take other women to his bed.
Danhoul walked toward her and her displeased expression turned to a warm smile when he spoke to her. Killian was immediately filled with his own furious yet unreasonable jealousy and he barged toward the two of them without thinking.
“Is this what it’s all really about then, you telling me I should find other women to take to my bed when you’re gone? Is it so you won’t be filled with too much guilt when you happily find warmth and comfort and passion in Danhoul’s bed any number of times when you’re off together on some exciting grand adventure in the future?
“You keep making mention of my unusually strong physical desires and how frequently I want to have you. Well, it’s not as though I actually need to persuade you to share my bed or that you only want to be diddled on the rarest of occasions. Sure your passion is as great as my own, but I’ve no need to decide who you might find in your bed on the long cold nights, for sure we both well know who that will be!”
Danhoul held his hands up in the air as though to indicate he had no intention of being drawn into this disagreement, but Alainn’s face had grown rosy pink and indignant. She huffed, and furiously kicked icy water at Killian, and then marched off up the winding steps in an obvious temper without saying another word to him.
“I’d suggest you won’t need to be concerned about your wife’s frequent physical desires for some time because she’s looking more than a little infuriated.”
Killian closed his eyes tightly, inhaled deeply in attempt to calm his own temper, and then picked up a pebble and angrily tossed it into the sea.
“I despise this, what this is doin’ to us, knowing we’ll be parted soon. Mostly, I just want to desperately hang on to her forever, yet on occasion, I think to myself just let it be done, let her go and do what needs to be done and then come back to me… But then my heart aches in knowin’ she might never actually come back. Now, she wants to discuss what might transpire when she’s gone and who I might bed, and she’s dared to suggest she may never come back, and so I just hang on tight to her for I never want to let her go.”
Danhoul’s blue eyes filled with empathy at Killian’s candidness. “I don’t envy you and Alainn your great love, and I mean that in all honesty. It’s sometimes easier not to have that special bond with someone. It’s easier on the heart, I’d say. I’m not even s
ure love is worth the pain.”
“Aye, of course it’s worth it. Loving Alainn is worth suffering a dull, ragged blade through my heart every minute of every day for the rest of my life.”
“Then go to her and tell her that, Killian. She needs you more than she ever has before. Your love is what will keep her grounded when she feels there is no other certainty in life. All the uncertainties you’re feeling now, she’s feeling too, and then some because she’s going into the unknown, and believe me, that is more frightening than you might imagine.”
Killian nodded to the other man appreciatively for his wisdom and his friendship. “You haven’t told me you’ll not lay your hands on my wife.”
“As your friend, do I truly need to speak the words?”
“Then simply tell me you’ve never shared an intimacy with her in another life!” Killian looked at the other man with intensity and Danhoul simply turned away and avoided answering.
“Aye, that’s what I suspected,” Killian said as he went to search for his very angry wife.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
“I cannot be carrying twins,” Lily lamented. “I am not yet six and ten.”
“Clearly age has nothing to do with how many children you ably carry, Lily.”
“And I am not yet wed!” she said with some abashment. “I shall meet shameful reproach, it is certain.”
“Not a word of it, you will be wed soon enough. It is what you want, Lily, to be wed? You are happy about the baby… the babies?”
“Aye, I love Cookson with no hesitation. He is a kind, sweet man, and he makes me feel happy and protected. He makes me smile and causes much laughter many times every day”
Alainn smiled at that for Cookson’s contagious laugh had always warmed her heart as they’d spent endless days and years in the kitchen together back in Castle O’Brien and when she’d been included so often in the Kilkenny family gatherings. She would miss him as well as so many others she would be leaving behind when she journeyed to the future. She was distracted from her warm memories by Lily’s surprising next words.
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