"Misty, look it's Santa!" Gail said.
Rachel could see tears in Gail's eyes as she tried her best to hold back her laughter.
Misty -- oblivious to the ruse -- squealed with glee. "Santa you came!" she shouted and stood up on the bed.
Rachel quickly scooped her up. "Be careful there little one. I don't think your Mommy's leg can take all that bouncing."
Misty turned and looked back at her mother.
"I'm sorry, Mommy G."
"It's alright, Sweetheart. I'm okay," Gail said with a smile.
"Alright, Misty, I heard you wanted to take a picture with me," Rachel/Santa said.
Misty's eyes grew round. "How did you know my name?" she inquired with amazement.
Rachel let out another big Santa laugh. "I'm Santa Claus young lady. I know everyone's name."
"You do?" Misty said with childish wonderment.
"I sure do." Rachel lifted her gloved hand and pointed one-by-one to each person in the room. "That's your mommy, Gail. That's Nurse Diane. And that's Julie, one of your mommy's friends who's been taking care of you while your mommy's in the hospital."
Misty was more than amazed by Santa's knowledge.
"Wait! What about Rachel?" Misty asked with a voice filled with concern. "She has to be in the picture too. And she has to tell Santa what she wants for Christmas!"
The other adults in the room glanced at each other nervously but Rachel calmly spoke to Misty.
"You've been spending a lot of time with Rachel, haven't you? I bet if you thought about it you could tell me what Rachel wants for Christmas."
Misty's face grew serious like she'd been entrusted with a huge responsibility. She leaned close to Santa's ear and whispered.
Rachel tried to keep her reaction neutral but the little girl's words caused a tidal wave of emotion to roll over her. She was glad her face was covered with the costume beard and glasses otherwise everyone would have seen how emotional she'd become.
Rachel cleared her throat with a cough giving herself a moment to regain her composure. "And what do you want for Christmas, Misty?" she asked.
Again the little girl leaned close to her ear to speak.
"Alright. Got it!" Rachel said hoping no one noticed her voice cracking with emotion. "We'd better get that picture. Santa's got lots of other children to visit before the day is over."
"I'll take the picture," Diane said.
Julie handed her the cell phone and walked over to the side of the bed opposite Rachel. The two women bookended the little girl and her mother on the bed.
"Say Merry Christmas!" Diane said gleefully.
As soon as Diane clicked the camera a few times Rachel stepped away from the little group.
"I have to go now, Misty," Rachel said as she gave the little girl one last hug. "All of you Have a Merry Christmas!"
"I'll take you back to the storage room so you can change," Diane said when she and Rachel stepped back into the hallway.
They walked down the corridor in silence but just before Rachel opened the storage closet door Diane stopped her and asked a question.
"What did Misty say she wanted for Christmas?"
"She said she wanted her mommy to come home."
Diane nodded her head. "Well, that's a wish we already know is going to come true," Diane said with a smile. "And what did she say you wanted for Christmas? Whatever it was it seemed to really effect you."
Rachel looked at the friendly nurse and tried to force a smile.
"She asked if Santa could send me someone to love."
Chapter 8
After checking 'take a photo with Santa' off of their list, Julie and Rachel left Misty with her mother while they went to do a little Christmas shopping. Julie still needed to grab a gift for the gift exchange during her parent's Christmas party and Gail asked them to pick up a few things for some of the hospital staff who'd been particularly nice during her stay.
"I want to stop by the toy store first if you don't mind," Julie said when she and Rachel pulled up to the mall. "Gail and Claire already have a bunch of presents for Misty wrapped in the attic, but I'd like to get her a little something special. We can get something from the two of us if you want to."
"Sure," Rachel said. "But you'll probably have to pick it out. I have no idea what a five-year-old might want -- other than for her mothers to come home."
By the time they got to the toy store, Rachel seemed to have fallen into one of her quiet moods again but by now Julie had gotten kind of used to Rachel's less talkative moments and she knew not to take them personally. She suspected this time the pensiveness might have something to do with Rachel's time as Santa. She's such a good friend, Julie thought as she stole glances at Rachel while they meandered the toy store aisles.
Julie was still quite impressed by Rachel's willingness to participate in what was clearly the most Christmasy of all the activities that had been on the list. Once again her selflessness had stirred Julie's feelings for the woman. No matter how attracted she may have once been to both Maria and Lisa, it didn't top what she felt when she was with Rachel. That attraction surpassed just the physical. It was deeply emotional as well.
"What about a Doc McStuffin's medicine bag?" Rachel asked interrupting Julie's thoughts.
She was holding the toy bag up for Julie to see.
"I think she'd get a kick out of playing her mother's doctor," Rachel said with a smile.
Julie felt her feelings for the woman increased exponentially. "That's perfect!" she managed to say. Just like you, Julie thought, finishing the sentence in her mind.
They paid for Misty's gift, had it wrapped and put both of their names on the card.
"Gail wants us to get a scarf for nurse Lori and a pair of gloves for nurse Diane," Julie said as they headed into a department store. Both of the women had spent extra time in Gail's room helping her with Misty when the little girl came to visit. "Is there anyone you need to buy gifts for?" Julie asked timidly.
"No, I usually don't buy Christmas gifts," Rachel said with a shrug.
Julie wasn't surprised but deep down she had to admit she was happy to find out that Rachel didn't need to do any shopping for any of the numerous women Linda had hinted about in Rachel's life.
"This is nice," Julie said holding up a scarf she found a few minutes later. "I think I'll get this one for Lori. It looks nice and warm."
"Yeah, that's cool," Rachel said distractedly as she reached out to finger a pair of dangling earrings on the counter display wheel.
"Those are lovely," Julie said with a smile. The earrings were beautiful but they didn't seem like the kind of thing Rachel would buy for herself. Maybe one of the unnamed women was going to get a gift, after all, Julie thought somberly.
When all their Christmas shopping was done, Rachel and Julie went back to the hospital and picked up Misty.
"Why don't we order pizza for dinner?" Rachel suggested.
"You won't get any argument from me," Julie agreed.
Forty minutes later the trio was perched on the couch eating pizza off of paper plates and guzzling soda.
"Hey!" Julie said midway through her second slice. "The next thing on the list is a Christmas movie!"
Julie picked up the remote control and started surfing Christmas movie titles online.
"That one!" Misty exclaimed when the image of a little boy standing in front of a rather haunting train flashed onto the screen.
"The Polar Express?" Julie asked wondering if the child had gotten confused about her selection. She thought for sure Misty would have chosen Frosty the Snow Man or even The Grinch.
"That one!" Misty said emphatically.
"I guess I should have made some more hot chocolate for movie time," Julie whispered to Rachel, remembering the fantastical dance scene in the film. But Rachel just looked back at her with a blank expression. "You mean you've never seen The Polar Express?" Julie asked in disbelief.
Rachel shook her head. Julie didn't push the issue but
she did wonder if Rachel participated in any of the Christmas activities that Julie loved as a kid.
The three of them curled up on the couch -- with Misty in the middle -- as the movie started but by the time the credits rolled Misty was stretched out with her head in Julie's lap and her feet in Rachel's.
"I think she's out for the count," Rachel whispered.
"I'll take her to her room," Julie said softly.
She slipped her arms under Misty's body and lifted the child as she stood to her feet. At first, she was just going to lay her under the covers in her street clothes but when she realized how soundly the little girl was sleeping she decided to put on her pajamas. Julie felt an odd sense of peacefulness as she changed the little girl's clothes and tucked her into bed. She brushed a loose tuft of hair from Misty's eyes and leaned over and kissed her on the forehead.
"Sweet dreams," she whispered just like her mother used to say to her at bedtime.
Julie suddenly realized she was feeling a little sad about this being her last night caring for Misty. All of this time with the child made her realize how much she really wanted a kid of her own.
Until this week, Julie had somewhat successfully tucked all of her thoughts about family away in the inner recesses of her heart but now they were all fighting their way to the surface. Her dreams seemed so far from her reality and facing that fact left Julie feeling a little somber -- that is until she stepped back into the living room.
Rachel was still in the same spot she was in when Julie left the room with Misty but now Simon had joined her on the couch. The huge furry beast had stretched his body out almost full length and was snoring softly.
"He must have jumped up here as soon as I got up to go into the kitchen to get some wine," Rachel said pointing to the two glasses and the open bottle of wine now sitting on the coffee table. "Can you blame him though?" Rachel asked with a laugh. "I mean I wouldn't lay on the hard floor either if I had a choice." Rachel patted the small space on the couch next to her. "Come on over. There's still a little room left for you."
Julie walked over to the couch. She gently squeezed into the space between Simon and Rachel. Julie's thighs brushed Rachel's as she sat and she could feel the natural heat from the woman's body warming her own.
"You want to watch another movie?" Rachel asked. "Your choice," she said nodding toward the remote.
A smile flashed across Julie's face but then her lips twisted into an unsure grimace.
"What?" Rachel asked.
"It's kind of another Christmas themed film," she said with hesitation. "And besides you've probably seen it before."
Rachel's eyebrows lifted. "Don't tell me. Love Actually?"
Julie's shoulders floated toward her ears. "I watch it every year," she said with a slightly apologetic tone.
"Go ahead," Rachel said shaking her head. "I'm the one who said you could choose the next movie. It's too late for me to back out now."
Julie picked up the remote to search for the film and then snuggled back on the couch next to Rachel. This was a holiday tradition she usually did alone -- or sometimes with her mother. Julie tightened her lips to hold down the corners of her mouth. She had to admit she liked having company this year.
❤️❤️❤️
Why in the world did I do that, Rachel thought as she took a long gulp of wine? Why did I invite her to sit so close to me? She glanced at Julie out of the corner of her eye. She was already happily singing along with the movie soundtrack unconscious of how her hips were rubbing against Rachel's as she wiggled to the music.
The close contact with Julie sent Rachel's mind in one very specific direction. Thoughts of wrapping her arms around Julie's waist and pulling the woman on to her lap were more vivid to Rachel than the movie playing on the television screen in front of her. Up until now she had done so well keeping her hands to herself but her resistance was wearing thin.
Now, not only was Rachel attracted to Julie physically but she'd grown to like all aspects of her. The woman had an uncanny way of getting past the protective walls Rachel had meticulously designed to keep out any possibility of a serious relationship. Plus, all of this pretend family time was causing Rachel's heart to expand in ways she wasn't accustomed to. It was uncomfortable and intriguing all at the same time. All of Rachel's norms were being flipped upside down. Baking holiday cookies, going for sleigh rides, watching Christmas movies, even the increasingly pungent smell of the live decorated tree wasn't as irritating as it had been in years past.
Is this what the holidays felt like for all the smiling people Rachel had envied most of her life? Is this what she had been missing? Rachel turned her head slightly to peer at Julie. Her movement caused Julie to turn her head as well.
"What?" the woman asked as the two locked eyes.
Panic surged through Rachel's brain as she wondered if her thoughts had been broadcast out loud. "I was just thinking about a snack," she said masking the truth.
A smile flashed across Julie's face and she picked up the remote and hit pause. "I've got just the thing," she said as she jumped up from the couch and darted into the kitchen.
With Julie's body gone Rachel felt like she could breathe normally again. What are you doing? She questioned herself silently. You can't let this happen! You're going to be gone before you know it and that wouldn't be fair. But then another thought popped into Rachel's mind. Maybe if Julie knew that Rachel was planning to move to California she might still be open to a holiday fling even if it didn't last beyond the first weeks of the new year? But as soon as that thought surfaced, Rachel was the one who found herself questioning whether a short-term fling would be enough for her. Could it be possible that she was the one who was interested in something more?
"Here you go," Julie said holding out a plate of cookies as she eased back into her spot on the sofa. "I tucked a few away when Misty wasn't looking," she said with a mischievous grin.
The flash of Julie's bad girl smile sent Rachel's mind -- and body -- whirling again. She quickly grabbed two cookies off of the plate Julie was holding and shoved one into her mouth.
"You ready to finish the movie?" Julie asked waving the remote enthusiastically.
Rachel just nodded and took another bite of the cookie to keep herself from saying -- or doing -- anything stupid.
As the movie played, Rachel watched as first one character, then another and another did something to deny the love they wanted.
I'm probably going to be the one toasting the holidays with my overweight business partner, Rachel thought as she watched the aging rock star character on screen. She certainly wasn't going to be like the married man pining away for his assistant. Cheating on a marriage -- or any committed relationship -- was something Rachel would never do. She knew first hand how badly people got hurt in those situations.
"Oh. I just love this next part of the story," Julie said with a romance-infused sigh.
Of course, you do, Rachel thought as they watched Colin Firth's character storm through the streets of Portugal -- followed by an ever-increasing crowd of family, friends, and strangers -- in search of the woman he loved. That was just like Julie. She was definitely the kind of person who made grand romantic gestures -- like traveling across country or learning a foreign language -- in order to be with the one she loved.
Christmas All Around Us ; The Perfect Time for Love ; Playing for Keeps Page 9