Kate secured her seatbelt and the trio took off toward the Warner home.
"Thanks for picking Dana up from practice," Kate said a short while later as the two women sat on the back deck of the house gazing at the lake and sipping iced tea.
"You're welcome. I stopped by the school to check out the practice and it didn't make sense for Coach Thompson to bring Dana home since I was heading this way. I'm glad I stopped by when I did," Joy continued. "Dana said she won't be there tomorrow and I would have hated to miss seeing her practice since she was the one who first invited me."
"Yeah, Dana has an event to go to with her Dad tomorrow."
Kate took a sip of her tea and gazed out over the lake. The serene view helped keep the thought of Sam from souring her mood.
"So what is there to do around here on a Friday night," Joy asked.
Kate just hunched her shoulders. "Not much I'm afraid. A lot of folks drive down to Charlotte to go to clubs or go someplace fancier than Sally's Diner to eat."
"What about you?" Joy asked.
"Me? Momma bear?" Kate laughed. "I usually watch a movie on Netflix with Dad and Dana or maybe read until I fall asleep on the couch."
"Hmm," Joy said. She took a long sip of her tea and then put the empty glass down on the table next to her chair. "Maybe the two of us could go into Charlotte and see what all the fuss is about?"
Kate worked hard to fight the smile spreading across her face. When was the last time she'd gone out with someone she was interested in? The thought made her nervous and excited at the same time.
"That sounds cool," she finally managed to say.
"Great. It's a date then," Joy replied.
A date? Kate repeated silently to herself. Did she mean like a date date? Like what happens between two people who are both attracted to one another? Kate was dying to get a better understanding of what was on Joy's mind but at the same time, she was afraid to inquire more. Maybe I'll just wing it, she thought to herself. And see if something new shows up in my life.
Chapter 10
Joy was physically present during her session with Dr. Turner on Friday morning, but her mind was preoccupied with thoughts of Kate. Of course, she still hadn't told the therapist that she was interested in someone there in Hersh Falls and she certainly hadn't told her that she was going out on a date with the person that very night. What did any of that have to do with her sobriety anyway? The truth was, Joy didn't know how much the ease of her abstinence over the past week had to do with the few sessions she'd had with Dr. Turner and how much was the result of spending time with Kate and simply not having the need to drink.
"I want you to think about authenticity," Dr. Turner said interrupting Joy's thoughts.
Joy's eyes flicked over to the clock on the wall. She still had at least thirty more minutes to go in her session. Somehow she needed to stay focused -- or at least pretend to.
"Authenticity?" she repeated letting the word rumble around in her mouth.
"Yes. I want you to think about the times and places where you show up fully as yourself vs. the ones where you feel the need to pretend to be someone you're not."
Joy felt her stomach tighten into a knot and she dropped her gaze to the floor. Her eyes followed the intricate pattern in the rug at her feet as if it held the key to the mystery of life. Authenticity wasn't a road she wanted to travel today and as her eyes scanned the carpet she silently hoped that the maze-like pattern would lead her in another -- safer -- direction. She risked a glance up at her therapist and was greeted with the same patient smile Dr. Turner always wore. There was no escaping this conversation Joy concluded so she might as well dive in.
"I guess I feel the most myself when I'm playing softball," she finally said in answer to the easier part of Dr. Turner's question.
When Joy was in uniform she was always the same no matter where she was playing. From the time she picked up her first softball glove, she'd felt at home on the field. In that space, all Joy had to do was focus on her game and the rest took care of itself.
When Joy didn't offer anymore Dr. Turner pushed further. "So you're most comfortable doing something that doesn't require you to communicate with other people?"
Without thinking, Joy rolled her eyes in response. Clearly, Dr. Turner didn't play any sports. The woman had no idea how much communication happened when Joy was standing in the pitcher's circle. Before a pitch Joy had to check in with her teammates scattered across the field. She knew each of them well enough to read the subtle non-verbal clues they gave her. Did her teammate on first base think the runner heading toward second was a threat to try and steal a base? Did the catcher think Joy should throw her fastpitch straight down the middle or nudge it ever so slightly toward the outer edge of the plate? Were the outfielders cheating toward the far wall slightly because the hitter was known to send the ball high and long? There was all kind of communication happening at lightning speed and Joy didn't have the patience to explain all of that to Dr. Turner.
"Not all communication requires talking," Joy simply said trying to hide the irritation in her voice.
"No, it doesn't," Dr. Turner responded still smiling. "But verbal communication is necessary in most relationships." Dr. Turner sat quietly for a moment and then continued. "Where else do you feel authentically you?" The therapist held Joy's gaze and Joy knew there was no escaping this line of questioning.
Joy was annoyed that she didn't have a quick answer. On the field, there was no need to think about being anyone other than herself. No masks. No fake smiles or half true answers about how she felt. On the field, all she had to think about was pushing herself to achieve her best because she wanted to.
"Maybe there's a group of friends you feel you can be yourself with?" Dr. Turner suggested peering through kind eyes.
As irritated as Joy was by having to think about the doctor's questions she was also moved by the kindness with which Dr. Turner approached the matter. The truth was, softball had been the central focus of Joy's life since elementary school and she never had to work at making friends because her teammates had always been a ready-made social circle -- at least until she started playing overseas.
In Japan making friends was a little harder. As the only American member of the Tokyo Hurricanes, most of her time was spent in practice or traveling around Japan playing the sport she loved. But only two of her teammates spoke fluent English and neither of them was gay or willing to be Joy's wing chick when Joy wanted to explore LGBTQ life in Japan, so dating was pretty much nil.
Of course, none of that was really a big deal to Joy. She'd been relatively content focusing all her energy on the game anyway. Unlike her Japanese teammates, she didn't have to report to an office job when she wasn't at practice and instead she spent most of her time at the team gym or in the batting cage.
"I'm not sure where else I feel myself other than on the field," Joy answered.
Joy had begun to experience what she'd now call authenticity in her interaction with Kate but she, of course, couldn't say that to Dr. Turner. At least not yet.
"What about with your family?"
Joy shrugged her shoulders in response. "My dad and I used to spend a lot of time together," Joy commented nonchalantly. "But that was when I was younger. He was the one who taught me the game."
Joy glanced up at Dr. Turner. The expression on the therapist's face made it clear she was pleased with what Joy was now sharing.
"Tell me more about your family," Dr. Turner asked gently coaxing Joy to open up more.
"My mother and I have never really been close," Joy continued. "She isn't into sports and the stuff she cares about isn't of interest to me. Our relationship is," Joy searched for the right word in her mind. "Polite." Yes, that was the best way to describe her interaction with her mother.
"My brother Gary is four years older than me. We get along about the same as most siblings I guess." Joy wondered if that was still true since the accident. "He's not really a sports fan either but he at
least knows a little about the game and we can hold a decent conversation about it."
"So, it's your dad who you're closest with?" Dr. Turner asked.
Joy started to say yes but something stopped her from speaking.
Just do your best, Joy. That's all that matters. Joy could hear her father encouraging her as if he was standing in the room with her and Dr. Turner.
That's what he had always told her. Just do your best. Fortunately, Joy's best far exceeded what the average player was able to accomplish so by the time she got to high school, college scouts were already knocking on her door with scholarship offers.
"I'm so proud of you," she remembered hearing her father say when he and her mother dropped her off at her college dorm. But the memory was tainted by something Joy couldn't exactly put her finger on.
"So, what did your father think about you moving to Japan to play?"
Joy thought back to that time in her life. Most people were surprised when she didn't accept the offer made by the Chicago Bandits, one of the leagues best teams but by the time Joy had graduated from college the thought of staying in the states -- where her father could show up an any of her games -- seemed out of the question.
Joy's stomach got queasy as the memories about that decision began to resurface. In spite of all her success as a player deep down she still never felt like she'd really made her father proud. No matter how much he told her she did there were other words she'd heard him speak that lead her to believe the exact opposite. Those were the words that she'd shoved down into her subconscious. Those were the words that she'd forced herself to forget until she found herself sleeping in her parent's guest room recovering from her shoulder surgery. Those were the words she realized she'd been trying to forget with every drink she'd taken over the past few months. They were words she couldn't even bear to repeat to Dr. Turner. At least not yet.
Chapter 11
"You look beautiful," Kate's father said as Dana stepped into the living room where he and Kate had been nervously awaiting her big entrance.
Mr. Warner took Dana's hand and spun her around in a circle causing the full skirt of her dress to flutter in the air.
All Kate could do was grin. She didn't quite trust her voice to speak yet. She just stared at her daughter in amazement. Of course, Kate thought Dana always looked beautiful but seeing her daughter dressed up in the formal gown had totally taken Kate's breath away. How, she wondered, had her baby girl grown up so fast?
"You look wonderful, Sweetheart," Kate finally uttered.
In spite of Dana's initial protests about having to attend tonight's event and her utter dismay over having to wear a formal gown, the smile on her face made it clear that she felt good about the way she looked in the garment.
"I just hope I don't have to dance or anything." Dana's previously smiling face tightened into a tense mask.
"Of course you'll have to dance, Sweetheart," Kate said gently. "That's part of what people do at events like this, but don't worry. Your father is a good dancer. He'll teach you everything you need to know."
The memory of Sam teaching Kate to dance fluttered through Kate's mind. She and Sam had only gone out once or twice before Sam asked Kate to be his date for the Senior Prom. Kate was still a sophomore and the invitation alone had boosted her high school status from ignored underclassman to privileged It-Girl overnight. Kate wasn't sure if she really liked Sam or not but the attention was nice and she figured if she kept going out with him maybe the other feelings she was having would go away.
Kate's first few steps on the dance floor were awkward and nervous but Sam was as cool as a winter breeze. When the Dj started playing a slow song, Sam took Kate in his arms and began to maneuver around the Hersh Falls High School dance floor like they'd stepped out of some old black and white movie. After a while she got more comfortable and the fear of tripping over her own feet subsided. From over Sam's shoulder, Kate watched the envious eyes of almost every girl in the room follow the couple until the song ended.
She'd tried to get excited about the fantasy she saw reflected in her classmate's eyes. A fantasy that included graduating from high school, marrying some boy they'd probably known their whole life and living happily ever after.
The memory of that night -- and that particular fantasy -- almost made Kate laugh out loud. Instead, she kept those thoughts to herself and continued to reassure her daughter that she didn't have anything to worry about when it came to dancing.
"Let me get a picture of the two of you in front of the fireplace," Mr. Warner said waving the two into position.
Kate slipped an arm around her daughter's waist. She smiled wistfully at the camera as her father captured the moment. Kate was just about to switch places with her dad so he could take a few pictures with Dana too when she caught a glimpse of Joy outside at her car.
"Dad, Joy's outside. Why don't we ask her to come in and take a picture of all three of us?"
"Perfect!" Mr. Warner said clearly excited by the thought of an impromptu family portrait.
Dana, on the other hand, let out a soft groan. "Don't make it such a big deal, Mom," Dana said rolling her eyes.
It wasn't until Joy stepped inside and spoke that the teen's mood lifted again.
"Wow! You look great!" Joy exclaimed.
Kate watched Dana's smile expand threefold.
"Thanks," she mumbled softly.
Kate found it amusing that Joy's presence had such an impact on her daughter -- that is until the tables were turned on her.
"Sheesh! If I looked that good all dressed up I'd probably get more dates." Joy turned her head toward Kate and gave a quick wink that made Kate's heart skip a beat. There was that word again. Date.
"Alright, scooch in close to each other," Joy instructed after taking the cell phone from Mr. Warner. "And everyone smile."
As Joy captured the family moment, Kate's mind was on the sexy photographer. She'd never seen Joy in much more than sweats and a t-shirt but tonight she'd obviously put a little more effort into her attire.
She was wearing a pair of snug jeans and a fitted vest that cupped and accentuated full cleavage that had previously been hidden from sight. A delicate necklace -- with a little rainbow charm -- dangled just inches above Joy's breasts. Kate took a quick inhale as she imagined what it might be like to follow that particular rainbow. A knock at the door brought the imagined journey to an abrupt end.
"Dad's here," Dana said. She stepped out of the family portrait and rushed over to the couch to grab the book bag she'd packed with clothes for her overnight stay.
Kate knew Dana didn't want to endure any awkward moments between her parents so she was making moves to get out the door as quickly as possible. Unfortunately for her, Joy was still standing closer to the front door than anyone else and Mr. Warner nodded for Joy to open the door.
"Hi there," Sam said as he walked into the room. His head cocked to the side when he realized it wasn't a member of the Warner family who'd opened the door for him.
Kate felt her stomach churn like she'd been caught doing something wrong.
"Sam, this is Joy," she said stepping toward the door. "She's staying in the guest room above the garage for a few weeks."
Kate watched as Sam gave Joy a quick head to toe look. "Yeah, I think we've met but I don't think I got your name the first time." Sam extended his hand to Joy.
The exchange caught Kate by surprise. She had no idea where Sam and Joy might have seen each other before now but the tense -- and rather fake -- smile on Joy's face made it pretty clear that the encounter wasn't one she'd enjoyed.
Kate didn't see any good coming out of letting this moment last longer than it had already. "Okay. Are you ready, Dana?" she asked.
Christmas All Around Us ; The Perfect Time for Love ; Playing for Keeps Page 43