“Here you go.” The waitress put two bags on the counter in front of him.
“Thanks,” Colin said and gathered them up. He took one last look at the man, trying to jog his memory, but nothing came. Maybe the guy just had one of those faces that always looked familiar. Colin shook it off and headed for his truck. If he hurried, he’d get to see Sofia before she was asleep.
“I just put her down,” Lily said as he entered the kitchen five minutes later. “You can probably still catch her awake.” She took the bags from him, and he headed for the stairs.
“Hi, sweetheart,” he said softly, stepping into Sofia’s room. Her big dark eyes turned to him, and an instant smile spread across her face. She sat up in her crib and held her arms toward him.
“Dada,” she cooed when he picked her up.
“I missed you today,” he said as he settled her against him. She burrowed in, too sleepy to talk, so he held her, gently rocking and stroking her back until her breathing became steady.
“Tomorrow we’ll have fun together,” he whispered into her hair before carefully lowering her into the crib. He tucked the blanket around her and waited just a minute to make sure she was asleep. After giving her a last kiss, he left her room.
* * *
In the kitchen, Lily opened the food bags and plated their dinners. It was part of the little ritual she and Colin had fallen into. He checked on Sofia and returned to eat with her. No harm in a shared dinner, she reasoned, as long as she remembered that they were just employer and employee. That was getting more difficult to do. There was a lot to like about Colin and a lot she found appealing.
“Did you get to say good night?” she asked when Colin joined her in the kitchen.
“She was almost awake,” he said, heading to the refrigerator for a beer.
“I tried to keep her up because I knew you’d be home,” she explained, “but she was zonked after today.”
“Time outside?” He came to sit next to Lily at the island.
“We walked downtown,” she said, causing him to raise an eyebrow since it was a three-mile round trip. “Sofia rode in the stroller, but we got a lot of fresh air.”
“Any reason for your destination?” he asked, twirling linguine on his fork.
“We peeked in at All That Sparkles,” Lily said, referring to the jewelry store Colin’s brother’s wife owned. “Sofia demanded to see Aunt Carolyn, but she wasn’t in, so we went to the art school a few doors down. I signed up to take some classes.” He paused, his fork halfway to his mouth. “They won’t interfere with my nanny duties,” she said quickly. “They’re all evening and weekend classes, and I can miss one or two if you need to work late.”
“I wasn’t worried about that.” His expression was puzzled. “If you want to take classes, we’ll work around your schedule. Are you thinking of switching to become an art teacher? I thought math was your area.”
“It was, but I don’t want to teach again, math or anything else. It’s not my passion.” She picked at her salad, debating how much to tell him—but he’d opened up to her about the admiral and his family. And after weeks of sharing a house, she’d come to trust him. Well, more than that, really: she liked him. A lot. And not in ways a nanny should like her employer. What she didn’t know was if he felt any attraction for her. At times she thought maybe, but he wasn’t one to reveal too much about his emotions. “I ended up in education because it’s sort of a family tradition,” she blurted out. “My dad’s a math professor, and my mom taught high school math before my sibs and I were all born. My grandfather was a science professor, a famous one.”
“So, what is your passion? What do you want to do?” His amazing blue eyes focused on her, making her temporarily tongue-tied.
“I think…” She hesitated for just a second before telling him the truth. “I think I want to be a comic book artist. My aunt Maddie is one, and she loves it.” Her aunt was always so happy. Lily had had more fun with her than she’d ever had with her own parents. “When I suggested that as a career path to my parents, it was shot down in flames. My father, especially, didn’t see it as a viable option.”
“I think it might be a tough way to make a living,” Colin said cautiously, but without judgment.
“Probably. The art world can be, but now that I’m not locked into a teaching schedule, I’d like to pursue it…” She paused but felt bold enough to add, “and anything else I’ve wanted to do and haven’t been allowed to.” He smiled at that, which encouraged her to continue. “I feel as though I’ve lived someone else’s version of my life, and I want to live mine.”
“Is that part of being the oldest kid from a big family?”
“I guess. I always had more responsibility than my friends—and more limits. I couldn’t do this or that because of obligations to the family. I even missed my senior prom because of my brother,” she said ruefully.
“What happened?” He seemed genuinely interested, so she went on with the story.
“I was all dressed, with my hair done up, when there was screaming from the backyard. Robbie and Joe had been standing too close together and practicing their golf swings. Joe clobbered Robbie right here.” She pointed to a spot over her left eye. “It was obvious he needed stitches, but my dad was at a faculty dinner that night and wouldn’t come home. Mom took Robbie to the ER, and I missed prom to stay home with the other kids.”
“No one else could come?”
She shook her head. “Most people were unwilling to watch so many children. My date went without me and hooked up with a girl he eventually married. Happy ending for them.”
“I’m sorry about that,” he said, and she thought he truly was.
“It’s in the past.” She shrugged. “You remind me of my dad a little.”
His eyes grew wide. She supposed, after what she’d just said, it wasn’t a flattering comparison, but it was true.
“How so?” he asked.
“He’d love the starkness of your house.” She gestured around. “White and pure, that’s what he’d say. And he hates clutter and messes. I always had to scramble to pick up before he got home. That was my job. One time he arrived early, and I hadn’t had a chance to clean the living room after a Nerf gun war between my brothers. Dad was irate about Nerf bullets being everywhere.” She stabbed a piece of lettuce. “And my art supplies were a constant battle between us, too. He didn’t want me to have them in the first place, and if I made the mistake of leaving them out…” She trailed off, frustrated that she could still feel such anger about something in the past.
“I don’t despise clutter and messes,” Colin said in a level tone.
She turned an incredulous expression on him. Was this the man she’d been living with for the past weeks? “You had me fooled.”
“I hope that’s not the reason you haven’t let Sofia use the paint and markers I bought.” He seemed genuinely concerned. “I know you used the finger paints at least once.”
Lily laughed. “Found the evidence of that day, did you? I have to admit it was way messier than I anticipated. I’ve painted with kids before, but not with one as young as Sofia—or as exuberant.”
“She had fun with it?” He looked amused, not angry.
“She did, but then she started running through the house, trailing her hands along the walls. I thought I got it all scrubbed off.” She’d spent an hour with a scrub brush and bucket of soapy water, erasing the day’s damage from Colin’s perfect house.
“Not all of it. I saw a few spots. Here, I’ll show you.” He took her hand and gave her a little tug that got her off the stool.
She went with him, trying to read his mood. He didn’t seem critical. If anything, he seemed amused… and it felt so good to have her hand in his.
“I noticed one right inside the front door,” he said, leading her along and pointing out a tiny mark here and there. When he started to climb the stairs, she objected.
“I caught her before she went up.” The other spots he’d noticed
were genuine, but there couldn’t be any on the second floor. Why did he want to take her up there?
“Are you sure?” He grinned at her.
She was, but she let him lead her anyway. They paused outside Sofia’s room. In the glow of the night-light, they could see her sleeping. Colin held his finger to his lips and pulled Lily past the spare bedroom to his at the end of the hall. She hadn’t set foot over the threshold to that room until now and wondered what she was doing there.
“Is there a mark in here?” she whispered, looking around at the pristine white walls. The coverlet was gray, and a steel-colored upholstered chair sat in front of the window. There was no dresser, but she could see a long closet on one wall. She imagined his clothes were lined up inside on matching hangers.
“No,” he answered, drawing her attention back to him. He was watching her with questioning blue eyes. The color and intensity made them his best feature. They’d drawn her in on other occasions, but not as powerfully as they did then. She nearly moaned when he cupped her cheek. Where was this leading? Was he going to kiss her? She was eager for his kiss, eager for whatever came next. Her eyes drifted closed, waiting.
A ping from an incoming text came from Colin’s phone. Her eyes flew open, and she staggered back, the moment broken.
6
A second ping immediately followed the first, making Colin reach into his pocket for his phone. The small screen lit up his dim bedroom.
How the hell had he ended up in his bedroom with Lily?
Since he didn’t want to look at her, didn’t want to think about the kiss that almost happened, he focused on the message.
Sorry, bro. We can’t babysit Saturday night. Carolyn’s got a sales rep in from out of town. Wine and dine time for us.
Christ, Colin had completely forgotten about the date he’d set up for the weekend. What was the woman’s name? Sarah? It was in his calendar, but damn if he knew.
He looked at the second message.
Maybe Lily can?
As in maybe Lily, the woman he’d almost kissed less than a minute ago, would babysit so he could date another woman. He glanced up at her. She’d retreated to the bedroom door and stood on the threshold, clearly unsure if she should stay or go.
Could he ask her? If he could rewind ten minutes to when they were eating in his kitchen, no problem… but he’d made it a problem by acting on the attraction he felt for her. Damn. He never acted impulsively. He did one time, and it bit him in the butt.
“Work?” she asked, her voice higher than normal.
“No. It’s Zach.” Here was his opportunity to explain about the message, but he hesitated, thinking through his words, thinking through what he knew about Lily. She wasn’t interested in what he was in terms of a relationship. She’d been clear about her no strings, no attachments mantra.
Exactly the opposite of what he wanted. He wanted the stability of a mature, long-lasting commitment. Sofia needed that in her life, and he did, too. He and Lily were all wrong for each other, he rationalized, and except for that evening, they’d each kept their priorities in line. But he’d stepped over the line because of an attraction he felt for the lovely woman who lived in his house and cared so devotedly for his daughter.
Time to pull back, remind himself of his intentions in having a nanny. He was supposed to be dating to find the right woman to be Sofia’s mother, because Lily wasn’t going to stick around forever. For all he knew, she could be gone in a few weeks.
“Do you have plans for Saturday night?” he asked, hoping to feel her out.
“Um… no,” she began, her hazel eyes full of sympathy, “but… we shouldn’t. I mean, I’m not…” She retreated into the hall. She was trying to let him down easy, to let him know as kindly as possible she wasn’t interested in him.
He breathed a sigh of relief, realizing he’d been worried for nothing. True to her claims, she wanted to remain free of entanglements.
“I didn’t mean for you and me to…” He paused to sort out his words. “Zach and Carolyn were supposed to babysit for me on Saturday night. I have a date. But they can’t. I was hoping you’d be free to watch Sofia. If you’re not, I completely understand, since it’s outside of our agreement.”
“Oh.” A tinge of pink showed on her cheeks as his meaning became clear. “I’m happy to watch her. I have a class at the art studio, but I’ll be back around five. Does that work?”
“It does. Thank you.”
“Sure, anytime. I don’t mind. Sofia’s a great kid to spend time with.”
“Thanks. I think so, too, which is why I’m trying to date more.” He felt the need to explain his actions. “I want to find her a mother. You’re great, but as you’ve said, you won’t be here forever, and I want Sofia to have a stable female presence in her life.”
“Makes sense. Every girl needs that,” she said. “I’m going to say good night.”
He heard her light footsteps on the stairs and in the kitchen. The crinkle of bags told him she was cleaning up from their dinner. He waited until all the sounds had ceased, took a quick peek at Sofia, who was sleeping soundly, and went downstairs. He needed some fresh air.
Quietly he let himself out the door and stood on the sidewalk in front of his house, breathing in the cool night air and trying to clear his head.
What had he been thinking in that moment when he’d nearly kissed his daughter’s nanny? Clearly he hadn’t been. He had felt a rush of desire—unwanted and inappropriate, but it had been there, nevertheless. He shook it off, reminding himself of his objective of finding a wife and mother so he could give Sofia what he hadn’t had. A loving, happy two-parent home.
His eyes focused on a slow-moving car on his street. As it passed his house, he recognized it as the one he’d seen several weeks ago. Gray Toyota Camry, about five years old, with dark tinted windows. Again, he tried to make out details about the driver but wasn’t able to. The license plate was obscured by a tinted cover as well. Not the norm in this neighborhood. The car made a left turn and disappeared around a corner, leaving Colin unsettled.
His warning senses fired again, as they had previously when he’d spotted that vehicle. He didn’t like it, though he couldn’t say why. And he wasn’t a man who took chances.
In the morning, he’d call his buddy Steve. With Steve’s ability and connections in the security tech world, he might be able to create a list of cars that matched that description within a thirty-mile radius. It might be completely unnecessary, but something told Colin it was important.
* * *
Lily scrubbed the clay from her hands after her art class and changed into comfy, being-around-the-house clothing. Out of habit, she ran a brush through her hair before stopping herself and twisting it into a messy bun. She wasn’t getting ready for a date. She was babysitting for a man so he could go on a date, never mind that he had nearly kissed her a few nights before.
His date was perfectly fine with her. She wasn’t looking for the same things he was, and they weren’t right for each other anyway, which was easy to see just looking at the room where she stood. She smiled at her reflection in her bedroom mirror. She’d repainted the room a sunny yellow, added brightly colored throw rugs to the white carpet, and hung prints on the walls.
Her living room was much the same. She’d gone with a spring green color on the walls and added hot pink throw pillows to the white couch to give it some spice. Colin would be uncomfortable resting his head on a pink pillow. She grinned at the image.
She was curious about kissing him, though. He was a powerful man who knew what he wanted. His kiss would channel that and probably knock her on her butt. It was a good thing it hadn’t happened, since there was zero possibility for them. They didn’t suit. He was the calm and she was the storm. He was a freshly painted white wall, and she was a can of spray paint waiting to cover it with graffiti.
She laughed at her own comparisons as she searched for her laptop among the piles of magazines and comic books on her coffee ta
ble. Colin would hate even that. He needed an orderly woman who managed life in neat compartments. Someone like her own mother, who would never rock the boat. Her mother had always smoothed the way for her father, making sure that nothing ruffled his day: no junk mail on the counter, no shoes left by the front door, no cartons of half-eaten takeout in the fridge.
Lily wasn’t interested in keeping the metaphorical ship of life in calm waters. After living a stifling, conventional life, she was more interested in tipping the boat over and diving into unexplored seas. She paused in her search to consider that she might paint the boat a spectacular color first. Anything not to have an existence like her parents.
In some ways, maybe too many, Colin reminded Lily of her father. She’d thought that when she first met him. Her father might not see the comparison with a Navy SEAL, but Colin’s existence was controlled. He approached everything as an analytical problem waiting to be solved. Even this dating thing. Lily couldn’t imagine going on a first date with the purpose of evaluating if the woman was appropriate mother material. Who did that? Apparently Colin did. He probably had a grading system of some kind. The woman had to score at least 90 percent to get a second date.
When she found her laptop, she left her apartment and made the loop to the back door. She could take the stairs that went directly to the kitchen, but she’d decided to keep that access locked. She liked the independence that having a separate entrance gave her.
“Lillee.” Sofia toddled toward her, arms raised, as soon as she stepped into the house. Lily scooped her up and kissed her cheek. Sofia immediately rested her head against Lily’s shoulder and snuggled in.
“Someone’s tired,” Lily said softly. She liked the way Sofia came to her so readily. They’d had a bond since the first day they met, and Lily’s heart was going to break some when she moved on. This little girl already owned a chunk of it.
The SEAL’s Beautiful Nanny: The Admiral’s SEALs Book Two Page 4