“All the more reason for us not to. Besides, we need to talk.”
Deke shook his head. “No, all the more reason for us to take advantage of this time together. The waltz ends now.”
Anxiety just about leaped right out of her skin. “But…”
“What objections do you have now, Ruby? I’m not married. You’re old enough. What’s the excuse this time?”
Isn’t this what she wanted? So, why did it feel so scary and awkward and yet she didn’t want to say no?
The back of her legs bumped into the bed. “I guess I don’t have any.”
Deke took one large step and was on top of her. “God, woman, I have wanted and dreamed of you for so many years.”
He had? She’d desired him since the first time she saw him.
He gripped her face in his hand and lowered his mouth to hers. He kissed her thoroughly, leaving her hungry and aching in areas of her body she’d never considered feeling so sensitive before. Craving him, she wrapped her arms around his chest, bringing him in close to her body.
Her hands trailed down his back and then returned to his head to seize him and hold his mouth in place. She didn’t understand what was happening, but right now, he was kissing her in a way she’d only fantasized about.
She pushed back. “You’re not going to back out, are you?”
He frowned. “I hadn’t planned on it.”
“Good,” she said with a sigh. “Kiss me like that again.”
He chuckled. “I’d be more than happy to.”
Chapter 10
Deke stared into Ruby’s eyes, all big and blue and innocent appearing, and felt his blood rush to his groin like a locomotive out of control. The people in the room next to them were banging the bed frame against the wall, the sounds of their moaning ricocheting off the thin partitions, and all he could think about was how they had chased this dance before. How many times had they gotten to the brink and then backed away.
Well, no more. He wanted Ruby like he wanted his next breath. Like the sun needed the moon and the flowers the rain, he was tired of wanting and denying and wanting and denying and here they were.
His lips covered hers and he kissed her, needing to drink from her fountain and celebrate in her joy. This woman had intrigued him since the moment he’d met her. She was like sunshine radiating and touching him everywhere. The warm tendrils of her rays skimmed across his soul, making him warm from the inside out.
No matter how much he’d tried to resist her in those early days, it had taken every ounce of willpower to keep from taking her that day. A woman whose father he would have disappointed if he’d been alive. The only thing that had saved him from taking Ruby’s virginity was his respect for Michael McKenzie.
Now, the girl was here, old enough, and no longer a virgin. The time had come for their bodies to do the waltz.
His tongue swept the inside of her mouth, raking her teeth, dancing, seducing, and needing her. He pushed her and she toppled back onto the bed, their lips breaking apart. Her sapphire eyes opened, and she stared at him, her gaze dark with desire.
Unbuttoning his shirt, she watched as he tugged the garment from his pants and slid it down his arms. He reached for the buckle on his belt, and she rose up to sitting on the bed. Her hands quickly removed the belt, unbuttoned his pants, her fingers trailing down the length of his hardened shaft, feeling him through his clothing.
She glanced at him, her gaze filled with desire as she pulled his pants down to his knees, his penis springing out at her. She gripped his manhood in her hand, and he thought he was going to die. The feel of her soft skin stroking him had him reaching for her.
Together, they fell onto the bed, and he turned to remove his boots and socks and kicked his trousers the rest of the way to the floor. Naked, he wanted to feel her, see her naked body.
Reaching behind her, he unbuttoned her dress and then peeled the garment from her. The cleavage that other men had gazed upon fell into his hands, and he caressed her gorgeous mounds. Her breasts were full and white and pert and so beautiful he could get lost in them.
Placing his mouth on her bosom, he licked the luscious areolas of her breasts, plucking the nipple into his mouth. She tasted delicious, and the moan that escaped her throat sounded like sweet music to his ears.
He pushed the dress down her body, past her hips, where it pooled on the floor. His fingers touched the edge of her pantaloons, and he shoved them down. She kicked them out of the way.
Stopping, he gazed at her naked, beautiful, white body and then into her sapphire eyes. Her eyes were glassy with passion and desire for him, and it was all he could do to keep from crawling on top of her and shoving his way inside her. But he wanted her to enjoy this experience as much as he, because it could never happen again. He could never take the chance of being with her again and getting her pregnant. If he hadn’t waited years for her, he would not be taking this chance, this risk even now. But he had to have Ruby. Now.
Pushing the troublesome thoughts away, he wanted only to concentrate on this moment in time. To concentrate on this beautiful woman and how she made him feel. How he couldn’t wait to thrust himself inside her womanly sheath and bury himself inside her.
His fingers caressed her stomach, sliding down to the curly folds at her center. When he touched her entrance, she arched her back, thrusting against his hand, and whimpered, the sound filled with need. She was slick with desire for him as he shoved his fingers inside her, wanting to replace them with his shaft, but knowing he needed to make her ready to accept him.
She groaned and grasped his shaft in her hands, gripping him tightly, hastening him to the edge. Unable to wait any longer, he crawled on top of her and placed his manhood at her entrance.
He stared into her sapphire eyes, and she looked intently into his, her gaze filled with passion and desire. She wanted him, and he needed her to wipe away the memories of his dead wife.
Ruby should have been the woman he’d married. Now it was too late. But for just this moment he could dream of how it could have been if he’d not done the honorable thing. If he’d never wedded Laura.
He plunged inside her, staring at Ruby, their eyes connected as they joined. He met resistance. Shock froze his movements as, stunned, he stared into her eyes and she gasped. Surprise gripped him, as he came to a standstill.
“Don’t stop.”
He wanted to pull out, to back up and cease. Ruby was a virgin. She’d never been with a man before.
“But…”
She wrapped her arms around him, grasping him. “Don’t stop,” she demanded.
He couldn’t have even if he’d wanted to. It was too late; he could no more stop plunging into her than he could stop breathing. He moved within her, slow at first. She was so tight, and he was her first. The woman who flirted and teased with all of the men in the saloon every night had never copulated before. As the very first man she’d been with, he was determined to make tonight as memorable as he could in a room in a bordello, with the sounds of other people having sex all around them.
Thrusting into her body, his lips found hers once again as he poured all the longing he ached with into his kiss, melding her mouth to his, filling his soul with her essence.
Why did this woman intrigue him, thrill him like no other? If only he was a man who could give her forever, but he’d made a vow never to marry again, and not even Ruby McKenzie could shake him from his resolve.
“Deke,” she cried, and her body tensed around him, sending him over the edge.
Like a bronco rider, he lurched from the saddle, filled with pleasure, enjoying Ruby’s sweet love, and yet, he couldn’t return the emotion. He’d sworn after Laura’s death never to love again.
Never.
Ruby lay in Deke’s arms, overflowing with wonderment, her heart racing, her body slowly cooling. She’d completely forgotten their surroundings, though moans could be heard coming from a room across the hall. Deke had been her only focus until now.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were a virgin?” he asked, his breathing still harsh sounding in the small room.
She shrugged. “It was none of your business.”
His body tensed. “If you’d waited this long, don’t you think you should have waited until you were married?”
What did it matter? Why was he making so much out of the fact that she’d never had sex with a man before?
“No,” she said, feeling irritated. “It was my decision.”
Of course, she hadn’t planned on coming in here and fornicating with him tonight, but it’d been fun…it felt right, until he started fussing at her like she was twelve years old.
“You could have stopped if you didn’t want to bed a virgin.”
“No, I couldn’t stop.”
“Sure, you couldn’t,” she said. Sitting up, she glanced down at him. “What we just did was wonderful. Don’t ruin it. This is what we should have done all those years ago.”
She rose and started searching for her clothing, the intimate mood destroyed with the memory of the past and his harping on her virginity. He’d been her pick years ago and had run from the opportunity, now he’d done the deed and regretted it?
“And just like years ago, I’m not in any position to offer you a ring and a trip to the preacher man.”
Good grief, she clenched her fists in frustration. Why did the man just assume she wanted a husband? Why did he assume she wanted to marry him? What if she was only using him to scratch an itch that had been there since they’d met years ago? Couldn’t a woman use a man?
Shoving her legs into her pantaloons, she stared at him. “Why are you ruining what just happened between us? Why can’t you let it be a wonderful experience that was destined to happen?”
“Because most women would expect a trip to the church. You know, vows and promises of forever,” he said almost yelling. “Especially when she’s a virgin!”
If he didn’t shut up, he was going to spoil everything. What was his obsession with them marrying? Was it to appease her or was it his way of salvaging his guilt? She’d never said anything about a ring and promises of forever. She had no expectations, other than to catch Rivera.
“Would you keep your voice down,” she said. “Do you think I want all the ladies to know you were my first? You’re ruining my reputation.”
All she needed was the women in this place to learn she’d been a virgin. That would blow her tough image completely apart and leave her just as vulnerable as the soiled doves.
He shook his head, sat up on the bed, and located his pants on the floor. Standing, he pulled them on. “Ruby, confound it, every time I think I understand women, you shake me up and make me realize I know nothing.”
She yanked her petticoats on then tugged the dress over her head and presented her back to him. “Would you please button me up?”
Slowly and methodically, he buttoned her into the dress. “I hate this dress. I can’t wait for the time when you’re no longer sharing your breasts with the men in this saloon.”
Whirling around, she faced him. “I’m covered. See?”
“Barely.” He stared at her, and she could see the confusion and the frustration in his gaze. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were a virgin. We wouldn’t have done this if I’d known.”
Clenching her fists to keep from smacking him, she could feel the rage tightening her insides. Could the man be any more condescending? He’d just insulted her. “Oh, so because you thought I’d already shared my body with several other cowboys, it was okay for you to take your turn?”
“No,” he said, running his hand through his hair. “But if I’d known it was your first time, I wouldn’t have chosen a bordello.”
With these last few comments, he’d completely sabotaged the evening. While she hadn’t planned on having sex with him tonight, she’d risked a lot being here with him, and now she just felt madder’n than a rained on rooster.
“And you didn’t want to choose a bedroll on the trail and you didn’t want to choose my home. Do you have to have the perfect spot to bed virgins? Is there a magical place where you take and deflower them?”
“Woman, you are ornerier and harder to get along with than any person I know.”
“Oh, so it’s all my fault,” she said. Shoving her boots on her feet, she checked her petticoats for her pistol and then let her skirt fall to the floor. She turned to him. She’d dreamed and waited for this night for years, and now he was making it feel cheap.
“Tonight was wonderful right up until I expected you to turn to me and say, ‘Ruby, that was so incredible’ and I would have kissed you and said, ‘yes, it was.’ Not given me grief because I didn’t tell you I’d never had sex before.”
Taking a deep breath to ease the anger from her face, she checked her expression in the mirror and wondered if anyone could tell she was no longer an innocent. But then again, Deke obviously had had no idea she’d been a virgin.
Deke stood before her, a sheepish look on his face. “Your first time ought to be special.”
“And it would have been, if you’d just kept your mouth shut.” She sighed. “Maybe I should have just let that whore have you. Now, I’ve got to go down there and face a room full of men who are going to think I was up here having a grand old time. Which I was, right up until you decided to lecture me on my virginity.”
Going back to a bunch of rowdy men after having sex and everyone knowing you’d had sex would be the height of embarrassment.
“Wait, I’ll go with you.”
Oh, no, that would only make it worse. “No, I’ve let you do enough damage for tonight. I only came in here to tell you what Hannah told me about Rivera. He’s going to be in town on Saturday. Now, I’m going down there and facing those men on my own without your help.”
“About damn time,” he said. “Are you certain you can trust her?”
Ruby just shook her head. This conversation was over. She was done speaking to Deke.
With her heart near to bursting with disappointment, Ruby opened the door and stepped out into the hall, leaving a half naked Deke behind. Tears filled her eyes, but the sight of the women, who were not currently occupied, all smiling and waiting for her, dried them up quicker than a ride through the desert.
Clapping their hands, they called, “Yay, you’re one of us now.”
Ruby bristled like a porcupine in heat. She shook her head. “No. No, I’m not. That was just a quick tumble to mark the man as mine.”
Mrs. Hutchins walked out of the shadows. “My office now, Ruby.”
Ruby knew this couldn’t be good. In the short week she’d been working here, she’d quickly learned that a trip to the office with Mrs. Hutchins was not something you wanted.
After she’d shut the door, the woman took a seat behind her desk. “What the hell just happened? Do you want to work upstairs?”
As if this night couldn’t get any worse, Ruby knew the woman had the right to be angry with her. She’d walked off the job for a romp with the man who had intrigued her since she was a young girl. Well, now that itch was scratched, and it was time to move on.
After all, he’d even said he couldn’t offer her marriage, not that she was really searching for a husband, but she’d always been infatuated with Deke. Maybe it was time to move on.
The truth poured from Ruby’s lips. At this moment, she felt as helpless as a cow in quick sand. Yet, she couldn’t seem to stop the flow of words from her lips.
“No, I don’t want to work upstairs. I’m sorry. I guess I lost my head there for a moment. Deke and I met riding into town, and well, there has been something growing between us. When I saw Clara draped all over him, trying to persuade him to come upstairs, I sort of lost it.”
The woman laughed. “Get use to it, honey. Men stray.” She paused and carefully considered Ruby. “You’re more innocent than I expected.”
Men stray? More like they lied to get what they needed. This last week with Deke by her side, she’d begun
to think maybe there was something good between them. Maybe just maybe he was the man for her. But no more. Nope, she was a strong, independent woman who needed no one.
“Yeah, well, men have wreaked havoc on my innocence.”
The woman leaned over the desk. “I’m going to let this incident slide. But Deke will owe me for the room and for bedding you in my bordello. You understand? And another incident in the saloon like the one tonight, and I’ll expect you to work upstairs permanently. Understand?”
“Yes, Ma’am,” Ruby said contrite. The woman was right; she’d risked everything on a quick tumble with Deke. She could be in so much more trouble and could have even possibly lost her job—the job she needed until she caught Rivera.
Taking a deep breath, she released it slowly. She had to keep her focus on catching her man, her bounty, Rivera.
“Now get back to work at the tables. You’re costing me money.”
“Of course, Ma’am.” Ruby rose to leave the room, ready to get out of this small office that felt so confining.
“I have to go collect from your gentleman friend.”
Ruby felt her heart sink to her feet. “No, don’t. Just take it out of what you owe me.”
“Are you sure?”
The very idea that the madam would approach Deke about having to pay for the time they’d spent in the room was embarrassing. She didn’t need any more humiliation tonight. She’d suffered enough.
“Yes,” Ruby said and walked out the door. Tonight had been special until right after their time together. When Deke opened his mouth, he ruined everything.
That night when Ruby arrived back at the hotel, Hannah was sitting on the back steps waiting for her. The girl had changed out of her green saloon dress and wore a dark colored muslin dress, her red hair pulled up off her shoulders.
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