She tilted her head and gazed at him. “By tomorrow, we’ll be back in Zenith.”
“Yes,” he replied. He’d stay until he learned if Ruby was pregnant or not, but then he had to leave and he couldn’t go near her again. He couldn’t take the chance, though that was going to be harder than rounding up outlaws.
The next day, Ruby knew she wasn’t pregnant. This morning, her monthly flow had come to visit, leaving her achy and moodier than a bull next to a fenced pasture of heifers in heat. Sometime today, they would arrive home, and she was quite ready for this adventure to end.
Since his shooting, Deke was acting different. She couldn’t tell if he was hurting or if something was bothering him.
Since his shooting, she understood a little more about how he’d felt the day she’d jumped off the cliff. Watching him laying there, blood trickling from his head wound, she’d felt more fear than she’d ever experienced in her life.
The thought of Deke dying had frightened her worse than Annabelle’s disappearance. He’d been shot because of her, and she felt bad enough about that. But if he’d died, she wouldn’t have been able to live with herself. She could never tell him she loved him.
Holding him in her lap while he hadn’t responded to her urgent cries for him to wake up had been the worst moments of her life. And yet during that time, she’d realized she loved Deke. She loved him more than her next breath. She loved the way he made her feel, how he cared for her, how he was right. Someday, there would be a bullet with her name on it, if she stayed in this business.
Yet, she didn’t want a life like her sisters. She liked being independent. She liked earning her own money and doing something unique and different than most women. She liked the look of surprise on a criminal’s face when he realized she was bringing him to justice.
How could she love Deke and keep doing what she enjoyed? How could she give up bounty hunting to be with Deke? But how could she live without him?
She didn’t know. She didn’t even know if he felt the same about her. For all she knew, he would get her to Zenith and leave her with her memories of the two of them.
Half a mile out of Zenith, she thought she should tell him the truth before they rode into town and her family descended upon them, giving them no time alone.
She rode her mustang close to his. He glanced over at her, his gaze not his usual warm and friendly look, but cautious. Withdrawn and moody the last couple of days, she felt like he was already riding away from her.
“I’m not pregnant,” she said.
“We’ll see.”
“No, I know I’m not expecting a child.”
His brows went up. “How?”
“Now that’s a stupid question to ask a woman,” she responded.
“Oh,” he said, suddenly understanding. “I’m glad.”
Disappointment surged through Ruby. Tears clogged the back of her throat. She would not cry in front of him. No, she didn’t want a baby. Her sisters were having babies. She wanted to be a bounty hunter, didn’t she? But the thought of having, Deke’s baby…
No, she didn’t want a baby. So, why was she suddenly feeling sad that she wasn’t pregnant? Why was she suddenly seeing images of their child?
“Anyway, I thought you would want to know.”
“Thanks,” he said. “We’ll stop at the sheriff’s office and drop off the body.”
“Yeah,” she said, suddenly unsure as to what would happen next. She didn’t want Deke to leave, but why would he stay? What was keeping him here with her? And should she tell him that she loved him?
“What are you going to do next?” she asked.
He reached up and felt the bandage on his head. “I’m going home.”
The dog poked her head out of the sling to make certain everything was okay. He stroked her ears, and she went back to sleep.
Ruby bit her lip. She didn’t want him to leave, but they had not talked about the two of them. The memory of him telling her he wasn’t getting married returned and she swallowed. They didn’t have to get married…but she knew her sisters would insist if they found out they had shared a bed.
“That makes two of us,” she said quietly, wishing with all her heart he would stay with her.
As they rode into town, she felt so uncertain about everything, except the fact that she didn’t want Deke to leave. She didn’t know what she wanted with the man, but she loved him, probably always had.
Thirty minutes after they arrived at the sheriff’s office, they were on their way to the farm. The deputy had taken the body and recorded the bounty, but her brother-in-law Zach had taken Meg to the farm.
Oh boy, that meant they were all gathered at the homestead, and Ruby knew there would be hell to pay for not returning with Caroline.
Deke knew he couldn’t stay; yet, he couldn’t leave either. He couldn’t ride off until he made certain Ruby was safe. That she and Hannah were settled at the farm until after Annabelle had the baby. Then he would no longer be responsible for Ruby when he rode away.
The woman was a walking disaster waiting to happen. And he didn’t envy the sisters’ job of trying to keep her at home and out of trouble. It couldn’t be easy.
When they rode up into the yard, the front door of the farmhouse flew open and both sisters came out. Annabelle was swollen with child, and Deke knew her time would soon come. He said a small prayer she’d live through the delivery of the baby.
Meg was barely showing. Yet, looking at both women, his heart wrenched with sorrow for Laura and his child. Could he ever look at a pregnant woman again without feeling his body explode with pain?
“Ruby McKenzie, you are going to worry all of us into an early grave,” Meg said, beating Annabelle to their sister’s side.
Ruby swung her leg over the saddle, jumped down, and gave her older sister a hug. “Meg, you look so pretty. And the baby, oh my God, you’re showing.”
A glow came over Meg’s face as she smiled. “I felt her move the other day. We’re so excited.” Her brows drew together in a frown. “Don’t change the subject. We’ve been worried sick about you.”
Deke felt lonely as he watched the women. Sure, he had a home, his mother, and even an older brother, but nothing like what these women shared. Some families were close, some were not, and his just happened to fall in the not-so-close category.
Annabelle waddled out and stared at her youngest sister. “If you didn’t make it home before this baby was born, I was going to send out a search party.” She glanced up at Deke. “Thank you so much for watching over her.”
“I did a lousy job,” he said. “She’s a tough one to keep under control.”
“That’s why we like you, Deke Culver. You tell it like it is,” Meg said with a smile.
“Everyone, this is Hannah. She’s going to be staying with us for a while,” Ruby said.
“Just until I can find a decent job and get on my feet,” the young woman said.
“Welcome,” Meg said. “But don’t be expecting much in the way of a job in Zenith. I’m surprised Ruby didn’t warn you about how hard it is to find decent employment here.”
“I’m going to help Hannah,” Ruby said.
Deke kept his thoughts to himself about exactly how Ruby intended to help the younger woman. No woman should be subjected to what Hannah had experienced in her life. Ruby would help her find a new way.
“Why don’t you all come in?” Annabelle said.
“Did you get Rivera?” Meg asked, looking at Deke and then Ruby.
“Yes, he’s dead,” Ruby said. “I killed him.”
Zach came out the door. “I hope it was in self-defense.”
A zing of aggravation crawled up Deke’s spine. He knew this was Ruby’s brother-in-law the sheriff, but still the woman he loved would never intentionally kill someone who didn’t deserve to die.
Deke took off his hat. “He was going to kill me. Ruby shot him.”
Annabelle put a hand to her back. “I need to go sit down. Come in
and tell us what happened. You too, Hannah. Come in and rest.”
“I…are you sure? I could sleep in the barn,” Hannah said quietly.
Ruby took Hannah by the arm. “Nonsense. You’ll stay in my room with me. If I could sleep with Annabelle for all those years, I can sleep with you in there.”
“But…” Hannah said, and Deke knew what she was thinking. The girl still thought of herself as a tainted woman, but that was pure hogwash. She’d done what she had to, to survive.
“Hannah, your new life begins today. Forget the past,” Ruby said.
“Thanks, Ruby, but I can’t forget the past,” Hannah said and walked with them into the house.
Chapter 15
Deke sat through supper, his stomach churning, his nerves tense, knowing he had to get out of here. He couldn’t stay another minute. He couldn’t be there when Annabelle went into labor. He couldn’t see her go through all the agony, the pain, the suffering. He couldn’t take a chance he’d watch her die.
He walked out on the porch to get some air and stood staring up at the stars. If he could leave right now, he would.
Ruby stepped outside and linked her arm through his. “You seem restless. Is it seeing my pregnant sisters?”
She could read him so well. So, why wasn’t she asking about the two of them or had she just not gotten around to that question yet? How would she react when she learned he couldn’t be with her? No matter how much he loved her, they couldn’t be together. Any other woman would be pushing for forever. Why not Ruby?
“It’s hard,” he said with a sigh. “I’m praying with time it will get easier to look at women with child. I know not all pregnancies end badly, but right now it’s still painful to see.”
Every time he saw a woman’s swollen waistline, he remembered Laura’s happiness over expecting, her anticipation of the coming baby and then the painful memory of her death. Holding his dead infant son was something he struggled with every day. He’d been such a fool.
Ruby was silent as she gazed up at the stars. “I didn’t know Laura, but I’d think she’d want the best for you.”
Their friendship had grown into a comfortable companionship, but he’d never loved her, like he loved Ruby.
“She would have,” he said without hesitation. “She had a sweet, gentle soul.”
“Completely unlike me,” Ruby said wistfully. “I wish I could be more like her.”
Deke grabbed Ruby by the arms. “No,” he said vehemently. “You’re who you are for a reason. I love the way you’re adventurous, outgoing, dangerous, and fun. I love everything about you just the way you are, except you take reckless chances that frighten me.”
The words were out in the open. Those three little words he’d promised he would never say. He hadn’t meant to tell her his feelings. It could go nowhere, and yet, they’d felt so natural coming from off his lips.
There were so many things he loved about Ruby, and he didn’t want to compare her and Laura. It wouldn’t be fair to either woman. They were different, and yet, he cared about both women. Ruby had secured his heart when she was just a young girl; only, he’d buried those feelings for years. Like the first rattle out of the box, she’d touched his heart and soul in ways that brought back the yearning he’d felt for that pretty young girl.
Silence filled the air. Ruby lifted her hand and caressed the side of his face. “I love you, Deke. I think I’ve been in love with you from the moment I first laid my eyes on you. I even tried not to love you this time.”
His heart swelled with emotion, and sweetness flowed through his veins. If only he could return the feelings, but he declined the notion to let himself even consider the emotion. Yes, he loved Ruby, but he didn’t deserve to love again. One woman was buried because of his reckless selfishness; he refused to endanger another woman.
Pulling her into his arms, his hands came around her. “I should have married you all those years ago before I tied the knot with Laura.”
Ruby shook her head. “No, we weren’t ready. You had to marry Laura, and I had to go bounty hunting with my sisters. We both had things in life to accomplish before we found each other again.”
Deke felt his chest ache like someone had reached in, grabbed his heart, and was trying to yank it from his body. Ruby deserved so much more than Deke. He was a broken man who’d made a mistake and left his pregnant wife alone to catch one more bounty. Happiness was something he didn’t deserve.
And Ruby…good Lord, the woman was danger walking with a target strapped to her back. Sooner or later, some angry outlaw would send a bullet her direction.
“Deke, I wasn’t certain how you felt.” Ruby trailed her hand down his face, pulling his lips to hers. “I love you.”
His mouth covered hers, and with his kiss, he poured his heart and soul into his caress. Plundering her mouth, he took possession, kissing her with all the passion he felt. He loved her. He’d loved her for years, but he couldn’t be with her. He couldn’t take the chance of killing her like he’d killed Laura.
He kissed Ruby like he would never kiss her again, needing and wanting her, quivering with the need to carry her away to the barn, but refusing. They weren’t taking another chance of her getting pregnant. They’d gotten lucky the first two times; he wasn’t risking a third time.
He broke off the kiss, his breathing heavy and restrictive. “You better go back inside. I’m going to bed down in the barn tonight.”
She gazed at him in the moonlight. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Good night, Ruby,” he said and opened the door, pushing her inside before his willpower was completely devoid of strength. As he closed the door, he felt his chest shatter with pain. He’d never see the woman he loved again.
No, he wouldn’t be here in the morning. He’d be traveling, searching for his next bounty. Chances were there was a bullet with his name on it.
The next morning, Ruby awakened to a quiet house. Annabelle was normally the first one out of bed. She’d collect the eggs and often have breakfast on the table by the time everyone had risen.
“Ruby,” Hannah said.
“You can sleep in,” Ruby said.
Hannah sat up in bed. “No, I need to talk to you.”
Ruby glanced over at the young girl, her auburn hair flowing around her shoulders. She looked so innocent and young. How she’d survived living in a brothel, Ruby could only guess. Now Hannah was free to choose her own life.
“Okay, what’s wrong?” Ruby asked, pulling her boots on.
“Nothing is wrong. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, but I don’t think your sisters would approve of me being here if they knew I was a soiled dove.”
If Hannah went searching for another job in a saloon, taking risky chances with cowboys, then Ruby knew she’d be right. But Hannah had not chosen the life that was thrust upon her and Ruby’s sisters were open-minded enough they would do everything they could to help the girl.
“Well, Meg no longer lives here, and Annabelle is about the kindest person I know if you don’t say anything negative about her husband or her sisters. I can tell them if it will make you feel better, but they’re not going to care. They’re going to be glad we got you out of that saloon.”
Hannah sighed. “I just don’t want to upset them.”
Ruby placed her hands on her hips and stared at Hannah. “Meg tied her husband up naked in the middle of Main Street and left him. It’s going to take a lot to hurt their sensibilities. You just need to concentrate on you. No hurry. Just think about what you’re going to do with your life.”
Meg was a fiery redhead, and once she learned Hannah’s story, it would be a wonder she didn’t ride out and find the stepfather and turn him in herself. No, Ruby’s sisters would not care about Hannah’s past. They would be concentrating on her future.
Hannah smiled. “That’s the other thing I wanted to talk to you about. I want you to teach me how to shoot. I want to become a bounty hunter.”
Ruby stared
at the young woman. “You’re not planning on going back to Hide Town, are you? You wouldn’t be thinking about revenge, would you?”
Returning to the ruthless outlaw town would be the worst thing Hannah could do. They would love the opportunity to kill her. They wanted her silenced.
“Not unless they cross my path,” Hannah said. “Then I could be tempted to kill my stepfather.”
“Hannah, I’ll do everything I can to train you to become a bounty hunter, but I can’t condone you going after someone to kill them. A good bounty hunter does not take the law into her own hands.”
“Isn’t that how you felt about Rivera?”
Ruby stopped as pain gripped her middle and squeezed her heart. The memory of her father’s killer was an ugly remembrance of agony that had almost cost Deke’s life was well as her father’s. “Yes, but I would have brought him into the law if he hadn’t put a gun to your head and tried to shoot Deke. I would never shoot someone with the idea that I wanted to kill them.”
When they’d first started hunting, Meg had drilled into Ruby the importance of letting the law do its job, not seeking retribution, but allowing the law to render the punishment, so real criminals were put behind bars.
“That’s the way I feel about my stepfather.”
“Promise me you’ll stay away from Hide Town,” Ruby said with a frown. She felt concerned that the girl would return and get herself either killed or be taken back into prostitution, until they could dispose of her. Ruby didn’t want that for Hannah.
“I promise to be the best student you’ve had. I want to learn how to shoot and hunt for criminals like you. I promise not to kill unless I’m forced to, to defend my life.”
“You’re the only student I have for now.” Ruby stood and gazed at the young woman. It wasn’t exactly what she’d asked for, but maybe she was just excited. “Okay, we’ll get started later today. But now, I’m going to go collect the eggs before Annabelle this morning.”
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