by Dani René
How the Mind Breaks
A Dark, Psychological Romance
Dani René
Contents
Acknowledgments
Playlist
Prologue
Tia
Braxton
Braxton
Tia
Tia
Braxton
Tia
Tia
Braxton
Braxton
Tia
Braxton
Tia
Tia
Braxton
Tia
Tia
Braxton
Tia
Tia
Isabelle
Braxton
Tia
Isabelle
Tia
Braxton
Tia
Braxton
Tia
Tia
Braxton
Tia
Braxton
Epilogue
Do you like it dark and emotional?
Sneak Peek
Prologue
Also by Dani René
About the Author
Copyright © 2020 by Dani René
Published by Dani René
Cover Design by Marisa Shor, Cover Me Darling
Edited by Candice Royer
Proofed by Michelle Myers
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever.
The following story contains mature themes, strong language, and sexual situations. It is intended for adult readers.
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your enjoyment only, then please purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in the work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owner.
Acknowledgments
This dark story came about back in 2017, and was signed with a small publisher, released under the title, The Shattered Girl. When I got the rights back, I knew it needed polishing, and I wanted Tia and Braxton’s story to be released again. And here it is!
I have to say a special thank you to Michelle Myers, for her support for this story. It’s definitely not your average read, and she offered up advice to make this book shine. Thank you, babe!
The Street Team, you ladies work your ass off to get my name out there, thank you. From the bottom of my little black heart, THANK YOU!
My Deviants!! This group is like my own personal form of therapy. Thank you!! There is never a dull moment, and that’s what makes me thankful for your love and support. It’s not easy working with the intense stress and deadlines, but you always seem to brighten my day!
To my fellow authors who are there with advice, support, and just a general pick me up. Thank you. It means more to me than you know. Thank you for sharing my work with your readers, and giving me a friendship that is second to none.
To the bloggers, you ladies read, read, read, support, post, review, and you do it with a smile. Thank you!! We wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you, so keep what you’re doing, we appreciate you! #AllBlogsMatter!
Lastly, to the readers, thank YOU! It’s because of you I’m able to put out book after book. Giving you what you ask for, and hopefully making you excited about the next book. Thank you for your reviews, keeping them SPOILER FREE ;) But most of all, thank you for buying our books. For your support, love, and encouragement.
Mad love, D x
This story is unconventional. It will be confusing at times because it has two timelines running parallel, but I hope you give it a chance.
It’s dark, it’s light, yet it’s filled with love. It’s unconditional love, which I hope will show you there is someone who will want you in your happy times as well as your dark moments.
Not all love stories are fairy tales, and not all fairy tales only have hearts and flowers. Like this story. You’ll find none of those; instead, you’ll find raw emotion, you’ll find fear and darkness, but you’ll discover how the depth of emotion we all search for can overcome any adversary.
Thank you for taking the time to read it. I hope in my words you find the light in their journey.
Mad love, Dani xo
Playlist
I Wanna Be Adored - The Stone Roses
Heart Heart Head - Meg Myers
Closer - The Chainsmokers, Halsey
Faded - Alan Walker
Monster - Aaron Richards
My Hell - Aaron Richards
Desire - Meg Myers
Sorry - Halsey
Hurts Like Hell - Fleurie
Tear You Apart - She Wants Revenge
Dark in my Imagination - of Verona
Find the playlist here
Blurb
USA Today Bestselling Author, Dani René, brings you a dark, psychological romance a twisted ending you'll never see coming!
A dark past. A devastating secret. Two broken people.
Tia is focused on revenge, but she knows everything isn’t what it seems. With a painful past that continues to haunt her, she needs vengeance. As her sanity becomes more fragile, there’s only one person who can heal her. But it’s the one person she doesn’t want to allow inside her shattered psyche.
Braxton has been trained to kill, fighting on the front line. On returning home, he finds another war ravaging his world. Tia stumbles into his life, unraveling parts of him he’s kept hidden for so long.
As they venture through a dark, sordid path filled with vengeance and blood, they know there’s no way out, but to complete their mission.
Will a broken mind mend a shattered heart?
*Please note, this was previously published under the title The Shattered Girl.
For those who struggle daily. Keep going, you’re strong, you’re able, and you’re more than capable.
Prologue
Tia
Rolling over, I stretch, feeling each muscle tense, then ease. My hair is matted to my head, and I’m sweaty. The nightmares have been fierce, and I can’t remember much about them, but the fact that my tank top is stuck to my torso tells me I’ve been stressed in sleep, and I’ve also been tossing and turning.
When I glance at the time, I realize I’m late.
I’m always fucking late.
Pushing off the bed, I notice the blood on the pillow, which I kept between my legs for comfort. The crimson has seeped into the material of my cotton pillowcase. If I spent a little longer in bed, it would be all over the sheets.
I remember the first time I woke up to the coppery fluid. It wasn’t because of me finally becoming a woman. Not in the sense that most girls do. No, my story is much darker than that. Much more violent.
Moving hurts.
You did it again.
No.
Shaking my head, I drag my gaze to my legs. They’re red, stained.
Always.
It’s your fault.
No. No.
“Leave me alone!” Shouting never helps, so I rise, then pad over to my bathroom. They’ve given me a beautiful apartment to stay in while I’m here. It’s decked in white tiles, carpets, and the walls are painted a sterile gray. Nothing seems out of place, but it’s not home. It can never be home. Everything here is perfect.
It’s a lie.
Fucking lie.
“Jesus Christ, leave me alone.”
It’s all you do. Liar, liar, pants on fire.
I grip the steel taps and twist them, watching as the steam fills the room. In an attempt to calm down, I inhale deeply. Even if I try to focus, I know it will be futile. Nothing can help after the nightmares. I wait for the feeling of being cocooned in warmth, curled in the blanket of heat before stripping my dirty clothes off. Once I step beneath the cascading hot water, I revel in the prickling on my skin.
He will find you.
No.
Every day is the same song and dance. She loves to taunt me. To remind me of what’s wrong with me. Even though she’s become somewhat of a constant in my life, someone who understands, I know it’s not normal.
They said it would stop. They told me I’d be okay. But it’s a lie. I’ll never be cured. How can I be cured when I was born this way? I pull at my hair, tugging it from the roots.
The burn is the only thing that’s real. The one and only thing.
No, it’s not.
“Leave me alone!” My throat burns from screaming so loud. I’ve been telling her to leave me alone, but she doesn’t. “Why?”
Why me?
“Yes.”
There wasn’t a time I didn’t know her, hear her, feel her. I used to get lost inside my head all the time. My teachers told me it was normal. They said all kids have imaginary friends. So, I believed them. I didn’t chase her away then, and she’s never left. She makes me do it.
Don’t blame me.
“Fuck you!”
Never.
I’ll never be the same.
Tia
The Present
“Can you tell me about it, Tia?” Her voice is calm, but it doesn’t still the war inside me. It doesn’t allow me any reprieve from the thoughts. It’s safer in my head. In the place where she is. My best friend.
She’s the only one who understands.
No one else has ever understood.
“Tia, get out of there. I can see you’re working through your mind. Don’t hide.”
It’s so easy for her. She tells me this every time I’m in this goddamn chair, but I’m not like her. I’m broken and nothing can cure me. I’m not normal like other girls. Special.
I’m not like anyone.
I’m different.
Unique. But I don’t see it.
“I’m . . . I don’t hide. I’m just thinking. I don’t know.” Shaking my head, I rake my hands through my hair and sigh when she sits back, her pen poised, waiting. She notes my movements. My words. My actions.
“Tell me about him.”
Glancing up, I look at her kind eyes. “He’s beautiful.” I smile when I think about him and the first time we met. It’s an honest grin. “When I first saw him, I didn’t speak to him. I couldn’t because he was too alluring. His friend flirted with me, but he never did. He always looked like he hated me. And I didn’t know why, like he was pushing me away, and all I wanted was for him to pull me closer.” I sigh, “But now that he’s here, that he’s with me, it’s different.”
“Tia, tell me. Do you think about him and the future?” she questions carefully.
Shaking my head, I try to focus. I feel tired today, and all the questions are confusing me. “I do, there are times I wonder if it will ever happen—forever. It’s just a long fucking way away,” I tell her honestly because it’s what I believe.
She winces at my cursing. She always does. I like cursing. It feels good.
“What about his friend? He is… not good?” Her questions are cautious because she knows I can be volatile. Sometimes, I can’t control what happens, so I just focus on his eyes, which I have memorized. When he looks at me, it’s like there’s a fire burning in his gaze.
“No, I want Braxton. It’s always been him. Even when he hated me. Don’t men who hate you love you more?” The question, when I voice it, sounds stupid. Something about him that lured me in. Something that I knew couldn’t fight.
There’s an intoxicating pull when those caramel eyes pin me to the spot. It’s as if there are magnets holding me in place. I can feel myself being pulled into his forcefield.
Magnetic.
“He’s magnetic,” I tell her the word.
She nods slowly and jots down her notes.
She likes notes.
Always writing.
Always scrutinizing.
“I like that you have someone to confide in, other than me, of course. Do you feel the darkness when he’s there?”
No, no, no. He’s perfect—his mouth, his face, and his eyes. Even his body.
“It’s safe when he’s there. She doesn’t come to me. Memories don’t plague me. I don’t feel like I need to go away, like I have to go into that place in my mind.”
She encourages with a hand gesture for me to continue.
“I want to climb into him. Does that make sense? The safe place in my head is like him. It’s light.”
“Mmm . . .,” she murmurs and writes furiously. The ding of the clock tells me our time is up. “I want you to think about this session. I want you to make sure you take your medication. It’s only a precaution, but it will help. I’ll see you in two days.”
She rises from her chair. Perfectly poised. Beautifully feminine. Nodding, I shrug on my jacket and head for the door.
“Two days,” I whisper before exiting her office. A lot can happen in two days.
Braxton
The Past
When I lift my gaze from the empty glass in front of me, it immediately falls on her. It always does. There’s a smile on her face that seems to light up the room. It’s the one she always gives him when he walks in. Although he’s my best friend, I know what he does behind her back. And as much as I’d love to be her knight in shining armor, I know it will hurt them both.
She needs to find out on her own. I haven’t told her. Perhaps I should. Ryker has been an asshole since we arrived home from Afghanistan, and I don’t know how to make him see that what he’s doing to her is wrong.
I’m biding my time for the moment she walks in on him or finds him with one of the sluts he favors over her. I’ll be there to watch her fall. And when she does, I’ll be the one who catches her, because when he breaks her heart and makes her cry, I’ll kiss those tears away. I bet they’ll taste as sweet as I imagine.
Six months, I’ve sat back and waited. I’ve been here in the wings just watching her. Taking her in, inch by inch. I know every curve of her body, every spot to touch that makes her giggle and tremble. That makes her eyes shimmer with intense need.
Sitting back on the soft leather sofa, I watch them interact as they always do, sweet and loving, romantic even. She leans over the bar to press a kiss to his cheek before she pours him another beer. He grins, but I know it’s a lie. I’ve known Ryker since we were kids, and I know what type of man he’s grown up to be.
Me? I’m not any better. I love it as dark and filthy as it comes.
The only difference is, if I had the girl I have my eye on, I wouldn’t fuck her around like he’s doing. I may enjoy a chase, but once I catch my prey, my focus is solely on her.
She’s perfect . . . for me.
My name is Braxton, and I’d like to fuck my best friend’s girlfriend until she can’t walk. To take her incredibly lithe body and throw it around like a rag doll. I want those plump lips wrapped around the base of my dick while she swallows every inch.
Why? Because it’s the only thing I think of every single fucking day.
Pushing up from the seat, I saunter toward t
he bar and slam my empty glass on the shiny oak counter, interrupting their sweet exchange of fuck knows what. I don’t know how he can whisper sweet nothings in her ear now, and later tonight—when he blows her off for someone else—be balls deep in another woman.
“I need a refill.”
She glares at me with those electric-blue eyes before grabbing my glass and turning to fill it up with the golden draught.
“Do you have to be such a dick to her?” Ryk bites out in frustration.
“Yeah, man. I do.”
When she brings the glass back, I cock my head to the side and offer her a salacious grin, only to be met with a scowl. A sexy one at that. One that makes my dick hard. “Thank you.” I drop my tone, softening it to a rumble, and I don’t miss the glimmer in the stare she pins me with.
Turning my back to them, I pull out my phone and hit dial on the number for the office. I need to head in to get the info on our latest target. An asshole running a trafficking ring on the border to Mexico. He’s going to get what’s coming to him — a bullet from my gun deep inside his skull.
The familiar, deep voice of Grant greets me from the other side of the line.
“Sweet cheeks, you bringing me one of those brewskies?” Cheeky fucker.