by Dani René
“NO!” I cry out again, but it’s too late. She’s gone. I’m gone. They took me away.
“One.”
Jolting up, I glance around the room to find her staring at me in horror. My heart thuds so hard it leaves me in pain, breathless, gasping for air. My lungs feel as if they’ve been punched, kicked. Every time we do this, it’s agonizing. But I know I’m closer to finding out what happened that day. I saw it. Some of it. The horror of the blood. So much fucking red. If only I saw where it came from, how it came to be.
“What happened?” I ask, fear dripping from my voice. But all she does is stare at me. “Did I say anything? You have to tell me!” Just then, the clock dings loudly, telling me my time is up. My body is sweaty and shivering.
“I need to study this. I . . . I’ve never seen anything like it.” That’s all she tells me before escorting me out of her office.
Braxton
The Past
Since I left Tia’s apartment, I’ve been focused on doing a background check on her. As much as I enjoyed last night, I’m more intrigued to learn about the woman she is. Or was. When she’s silent, something screams to me, as if in her mind she’s calling for help, and I intend on doing just that.
Her demeanor, everything about her, has me bewitched. But there’s something else. It’s like when she’s with me, she goes somewhere. Her focus is faulty. It reminds me of those moments where I’m driving on a long road, listening to my favorite song, when suddenly, the frequency fucks out, and I’m listening to static.
She’s broken, so fucking broken.
As much of an asshole as I normally am with women, with her I’m different. I want to treat her right and show her how incredible she is and to piece her back together. The thought jolts me, causing me to shake my head to clear the thoughts running rampant in my mind.
“Hey man, you look like you’ve been deep inside some tight, hot pussy,” Grant grunts as I walk up to the entrance of our headquarters. He’s lugging a delivery through the door when he gives me a sideways glance.
“Shut it.” Stalking past him, I enter the warehouse and head straight for the office upstairs. I’m not late, which is a fucking miracle. When Tia let me sit her on the counter in the bathroom to eat that sweet pussy, I was a goner.
“Braxton, come in. Nice to see you’re on time.” Corp sits back and regards me as I saunter into his office. He reminds me of my father—strict and controlling. Even though I hated it while growing up, now I look back and realize he was only trying to teach me to be a good man, to work hard and never give up.
“I like to surprise you sometimes.” Shrugging, I flop onto the chair facing his desk and wait for my partner in crime to arrive. “So, this club. It’s manned by ten security guards. I counted them last night. And there’s also video cameras in each corner.”
He nods, pulling out the folder and perusing quietly through the paperwork. “The owner goes by the name of Miguel. He’s a dirty dealer on all counts. We’ve got the drug dealing, the money laundering, and the girls being sold, although we don’t know if it’s into the slave trade in China, or if they’re sending them to Thailand to brothels. There have, however, been reports of well-known syndicates set up where wealthy men go to bid on girls. Highest bidder wins.” He lifts his steel-gray eyes to me, and they’re swirling with anger and frustration.
This has been a job that’s been on the back burner because of all the urgent ones we’ve had come in, but this time, I’m making it my life’s mission to get this fucker and burn him to the ground. “We can do this.” My adamant tone earns me a rare smile.
“That’s why I like you, Cart—” Corp’s words are interrupted by Ryker barreling in through the door. He flops into the seat beside me and regards us both with his bloodshot eyes.
“Ryker Murphy, to what do I owe this pleasure?” Corp questions with pure venom in his tone, but the man I called my best friend, the man I’ve known my whole life, doesn’t even flinch.
“You called, I arrived. Let’s do this.” The air thickens with tension I can cut with a knife.
“I suggest you go and sleep off whatever the hell it is that’s wrong with you. When you figure out what it is you want to do, then you can return. Other than that, I do not want you on my property looking like you’ve been dragged along the street by an assailant and dropped off at my door.”
Corp is stern, he’s strict, and when he talks, you listen. He pins Ryk with a glare that most men, including me, would cringe under, but when the man beside me rises, he smirks and pivots, stumbling into a small wooden table beside him, toppling it over with a loud crash. “You best get that, pretty boy Carter, since everyone seems to love you.”
The stumbling man I no longer recognize leaves, and I’m left dumbfounded. We’ve been friends for so many years. I’ve forgiven him for so much, but today, that was the last straw. There’s only so much you can do for a man. If he keeps pushing you away, there’s nothing you can do but let him figure out his demons.
I’ve watched him unravel over the years. I’ve seen him break and shatter before me. And every time I tried to help, to be there, he’d push and push. My best friend is no longer the man I grew up with.
“I’m reassigning you a partner,” Corp says immediately, his gaze burning into me with curiosity, probably wondering what just happened. I nod. There’s nothing I want more right now. “You’ll work with Grant. He’s heading out into the field for the first time, and I think you’re just the man to show him how it’s done. Also, he’s got a good head on his shoulders.” With that, he picks up the phone on his desk and dials. “Get up here now.”
Suddenly, my world tilts on its axis. Everything is changing, and I remember my father’s advice in this moment. It’s an unbidden memory, and when it hits me, I feel breathless.
“When you leave, go with your morals, your confidence, and that heart that seems to love easily. And when you come back, make sure you bring those same things back with you. Don’t let what you see there change you, and don’t ever let it diminish the man I taught you to be.” I regard my father. The pride glowing in his eyes warms me.
My mother steps up behind me, wrapping her arms around my waist. The love pours from her, seeping into me, and I know that I’m lucky. I’ve always been lucky. “Brax, please come back to us. I need you. Promise me you’ll come back,” she implores me, and I turn in her arms, encircling her in mine. Her body is small. She’s frail from years of treatment, but she’s still going.
I’m only twenty-one, and they’re both already in their early sixties. They had me late in life, a miracle son they’d tried for, and when I finally arrived, they smothered me with so much love, so much joy, and everything a boy could need. As I grew older, it was a matter of giving back, and I did. I worked hard and paid my way from a young age. Now, looking at them, I realize I was truly blessed.
“I’ll see you soon, Mom.” Planting a soft kiss on the top of her head, I give her one last cuddle before turning to my father, shaking his hand, and walking out the door with my backpack ready for war.
“What’s up, Corp?” Grant stalks in, and I’m sure I feel the ground beneath me rumble.
“You’re partnering up with Braxton. I need you two in that club tonight. Scope it, and I mean every fucking nook and cranny. I want the report on my desk tomorrow, zero nine hundred.”
We both nod, and I push up off the chair. I head out to my desk, and Grant follows me. Stopping short of the large wooden table, he regards me with an easy smirk. “What?” I grunt, pulling my chair aside and flopping into it.
“Does he know about your little crush?” He lifts his chin, gesturing at Ryk’s desk two down from mine. I nod, waiting for the speech he’s about to give me. “All I have to say is, be careful. He’s a loose cannon, and you know how dangerous those fuckers are.” He turns to walk away, but before he leaves, he glances back at me. “Just watch your back.”
I’ve been around men like them my whole life, people who have been through the ringer,
Tia included. My mind drifts back to her often, even when she was dating Ryker. There was always something about her, as if she were a magnet, me a fragment of metal, and I can’t keep away.
Braxton
The Present
Memories.
They’re always taunting me. My dreams were filled with images I want to forget.
They were killed. Murdered.
He was my best friend.
I’ve lost everything.
I only have one thing I cherish. One thing I hold close to my heart.
Her.
The raven-haired, blue-eyed beauty.
It’s not just my cock that craves her. My heart does too. I don’t know why or how, but she’s found that sliver of light in my darkness, and she’s placed herself there, burrowing herself deep. She’s my salvation. I can’t offer her the same because I’m her damnation. I don’t see how we’ll survive this.
The sun filters through the barred windows, and I stare directly at it, hoping it will blind me, so I never have to look at her again. So I don’t see the despair in her expression when I tell her it’s over. When I confess who I am, or more importantly, what I am.
Will she still want me?
Perhaps not.
Will she look at me with anger and regret?
Yes.
I have no doubt that she’ll be hurt. I should let her go now. Today. I should tell her that I’m leaving, and she’s going to have to do this on her own. When I walk away, it needs to be a clean break. She’ll move on. She’ll find someone better. She deserves it.
A good man would do that. He’d allow her to live a life with a man who can give her everything. Not someone who’ll take and take and give nothing in return. That’s what an admirable man would do. Someone with morals.
Am I that man? No.
When she walks in here in a few minutes, will I let her go? No.
Why? Because I’m selfish. I want to defile her. I want to use her to gain my sanity. I want her body, her mind, her heart, and I’ll be damned to hell, but I want her fucking soul. I want to drink it in, basking in its glow. I want to devour everything she has to give. Like a demon feeding on the innocence of a virgin, I want to consume her the way she’s consumed me.
The door flies open, and there she is. An angel in the fires of hell.
“I missed you,” she murmurs with a smile.
Tell her.
No.
“As I have you.” I offer a small nod and rise to my feet, stalking toward her. Her body is hugged by the thin white material of a gown. Her dark nipples tease me as they harden under my scrutiny. “Sit,” I order. I turn, gesturing to the bed. Her footfalls are soft, almost silent as she pads over to the small bed in the corner and flops down on it.
Her ice-blue eyes focus on me, and she lifts her legs, crossing them like a kid.
“So, what are we going to play tonight? Do you want to hear the rest of the story?” I question her in a soft murmur, and she nods. I join her on the bed, sitting against the metal headboard and opening my arms to have her nuzzle in them. She curls herself in my grasp as I continue our tale . . .
Tia
The Past
“So, you fucked him?” Laney’s voice is shrill over the line. I knew she’d be shocked, but I didn’t expect her to screech like this.
“Yes, I did. And it was good. I want more, Laney, so much fucking more, and I can’t have it.” Sighing, I open the door to the bar and step inside. The stale smell of beer hits me. I have to hold my breath as I enter and shut the door behind me with a soft click.
“You’ll have to tell him, Tia. If you’re going to do this, he needs to know.” She’s right, but I can’t tell him. I cannot bring myself to utter the words. If he knew how messed up I am, he’d walk away so fast my head would spin.
“I have to go. I’ll call you tonight.” Without waiting for her response, I hang up and make my way behind the counter to stash my purse away in the office behind the bar. The place is eerie when it’s closed; a cold shiver runs down my back.
Please don’t. Please.
Fucking whore. You’ll hurt him.
No, I won’t. He’s a nice guy.
You’ve got blood on your hands.
It’s over. I can’t do this anymore.
Shaking my head, I shut my eyes, rubbing my hands over my face and inhaling a deep breath. My phone buzzes in my pocket, and when I pull it out, I see a message from Brax.
Braxton: Last night wasn’t the last. Care for another dose of me?
Sighing loudly, I sit back and wonder how this will ever work. It won’t. There’s no way I can be with anyone. I can’t get attached, because as much as I want to deny it, I can’t. There will be blood.
You’re not worthy. Perhaps he should play with me.
“No.”
Yes, I’ll milk that dick of his.
“Leave me alone. You’re not getting him.” I hit reply and tap out a message, but the words aren’t right, and before I have time to stop her, she sends it.
Tia: If you can handle my crazy, I’ll handle your dick.
“Shit! Why?”
Because he’s mine too. We’re the same, don’t you realize that by now? I’m in you, forever.
Rising to my feet, I leave my phone on the counter and walk out of the back office. My head hurts, a dull ache which throbs behind my eyes, and I know I’m about to lose it. Before I get to the main entrance, I feel it, the familiar ache. I drop to my knees.
Gripping the carpet below my hands, I dig my fingers in painfully, hoping it will stop what’s about to happen, but everything goes black.
“This is beautiful. Look, Tatiana,” my mother’s voice calls to me, and I find her smiling back at me holding the dress. She’s beautiful. She always has been. There’s a light that shines from her.
“I don’t want pink, Momma.” My whiny voice is loud, and the other people around us turn to look at us with scorn. People are mean. They’re horrible. Every day, I have to hide away. They don’t like me because we’re different. I want to run away. If we leave, I won’t have to be at school with those kids.
“Come on, Tia,” she pleads in a softer tone, and I know she’s embarrassed by the people watching. They don’t look happy, and I can see they don’t like us. I move my head up and down. I can’t argue because it will only make things worse and have more people looking at us.
When we’ve finally paid, I walk a few feet in front of her toward the car. The ride home is silent, and I fidget with my skirt. I didn’t want this either. She always makes me wear things I don’t want.
“I just didn’t want pink. It’s so girly, and you know how the kids at school are.” She doesn’t respond when we pull into the driveway. Nothing is said when we go into the house, so I head into my bedroom and lie on my bed.
A pain in my head starts suddenly, and I cry out, clutching at my hair, pulling it from its roots, but it doesn’t dull the agony searing through me. Shutting my eyes, I hear my mother’s voice, dripping with concern. “Tia, baby, what’s wrong? Tia.”
When I open my eyes, I see it. Ruby red. No, it’s darker. The color is almost black.
The smell is gross. Harsh.
There’s so much on the floor.
Blood. Thick dark fluid pooling around the body. The beautiful dress she was wearing is torn, and I try to cover her up.
An unnatural scream echoes around me.
I wonder where it would be coming from. Another and another. My face is wet.
My eyes spill tears down my cheeks, and I realize I’m the one screaming. My throat burns.
Hands are on my shoulders, pulling me back, but I fight them. I kick and scream, but it’s no use, they’re too strong.
People rush to my mother’s body. I can’t stop them.
“NO! Let me go!”
I’m wailing loudly, but the man holding me coos in my ear, “It’s okay, little one. Close your eyes. Let your mind wander from here. Think of somewhere else.” His words seem
to hypnotize me, seeping into my mind as if he’s dripping them onto my skin, drop by drop.
I obey and shut my eyes, pushing the horror from my mind, and I picture it. I imagine a world without the pain in my heart. I don’t see red, but green. Beautiful fields, sunshine warm on my face.
You’ll be okay, I’m here now, she says. I don’t know her, but I like her. She’s warm. I need her. The feeling only grows as I’m carried away from the gruesome scene. She’s going to be my friend now.
“Tia!” A deep rumble and my body being jostled has me cracking my eyes open. Deep blue eyes stare down at me. My gaze darts around in alarm. Shit. It happened again.
“I’m fine, I’m fine.” I push his hand away. Aiden looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. Unfortunately, that happened a long time ago.
“What the fuck, Tia?” His concern is palpable, but I ignore his question. I can’t answer him. Nobody can know about me, about her.
He’s pretty. No.
Glancing back at the barman, I offer a smile. “I’m good. I think I’m just hungry and felt faint. Get ready to open.” I don’t wait for his response, turning and heading into the office. Shutting the door behind me, I slump into the chair and hang my head. The ache is gone, but the memory is back with a vengeance. My mother’s murder has been filed as a cold case.
It’s been nearly seventeen years. They’ve been filled with agonizing pain. My phone dings, dragging my attention back to the present. Picking it up, I find a reply from Brax.
Braxton: Crazy I can deal with if you’re willing to tell me where you go in that mind of yours, Vixen. Tell me your secrets.
I stare at the words for so long my eyes tear up, and when they start to blur, I blink, allowing them to fall, wishing they could wash my past away and allow me a present that’s worth living for. But my life is still tainted. No matter how much of my history gets purified, I’ve still got demons.