by Gene Wolfe
“They won’t sell it ‘less you got the card.” The old man was silent for a moment, sucking almost toothless gums. “Only you’re c’rect, I’d like to.”
“Sure,” Jay said.
“I used ta get Social Security, only it don’t come no more. There’s some kind a problem with it.”
“You could get yourself a sweater, too,” Jay suggested. “Winter’s just getting started.”
“If there was enough I could,” the old man agreed. “I could sleep in one a them boxes, too,’stead a the shelter.”
“A bod mod.”
“Yeah, right.”
“I slept in one last night.” Jay considered. “I didn’t like it, but they’re probably better than the shelter.”
“Right.”
“You said you were cold. Would you like my coat?”
The old man appeared to hesitate. “You said you wasn’t. You will be if you give it.”
Jay stood up, pressing rubberoid buttons through plastic buttonholes.
On Fortieth someone leaned down on the horn, a muted keening that suggested a dying whale.
“You’re givin’ it?”
“I am,” Jay said. He held it out by the shoulders. “Put it on.”
The old man pushed an arm into one of the capacious sleeves. “Lady over there wants you, is what I think.”
“Those cars aren’t moving anyhow.” Jay waited until the old man’s other arm was in the other sleeve, then fished a hundred out of his hunting coat. “If I give you this, are you going to tell those beggars with the sticks?”
“Hell, no,” the old man said. “They’d take it.”
“Right.” Jay put the hundred in his hand and sprinted out of the park, thrust shoppers aside with the duffel, and strode out into the motionless traffic.
A red-haired woman in a dark gray vanette was waving urgently. He opened the right front door and tossed in the duffel, got in, and sat down, smelling dusty upholstery and stale perfume.
“Don’t look at me,” she said. “Look straight ahead.”
Jay did.
“Anytime you’re with me, you don’t look at me. You got that? Never. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, don’t look.”
Assuming that she was looking at him, Jay nodded.
“That’s the first thing. They’ve already seen me on the phone, but the less they see of me the better.”
“Thank you for coming to get me,” Jay said.
“I wasn’t going to,” the woman told him bitterly, “but you knew I would. You knew I’d have to.”
Jay shook his head again, still without looking in her direction. “I hoped you would, that’s all. You said you wouldn’t, but after I’d hung up I decided that if I were you I’d have said the same thing, so they wouldn’t be waiting for us if they were listening in.”
“They were listening. They’re listening now. They can hear everything you hear and see everything you see.”
Mostly to himself, Jay nodded. “I should have known it would be something like that.”
“They put our call on the news. That dump in Greentree? There’s a mob there. I went there thinking I’d wait for you, and there must have been five hundred people, and more coming all the time.”
“I’m sorry,” Jay said, and meant it.
“I’ll have to get a new dump, that’s all.” The woman fell silent; he sensed that her jaw was clenched. “Anyway, I came. I probably shouldn’t have, but I did. Did you see my license plate?”
He searched his memory. “No.”
“That’s good. Don’t look at it when you get out, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Did you think Jane MacKann was my real name?”
“It isn’t?” The thought had not occurred to him.
“Hell, no. This isn’t even my car, but the guy I borrowed it from is kind of a friend, and he’d have to steal new plates. So all they know is a green car, and there are lots of them.”
“My color vision’s a little off,” Jay told her.
“Yeah, sure. A lot of guys have that.” The woman paused to blow the vanette’s horn, futilely, at the semibus ahead of her. “Anyway, I came and got you. So you owe me.”
Jay fished a hundred from a pocket and gave it to her.
“This isn’t for your heat. This’s just for the ride. You tell me where, and I’ll take you there and drop you, okay? That’s what you’re paying me for now.”
“If I tell you, I’ll be telling them as well?”
“I guess so. I didn’t watch it, but that’s what the people I talked to said.”
“Suppose I were to write it on a piece of paper without looking at the paper. Then I could pass it to you without looking at you, and you could look at it.”
The woman considered. “That ought to work. I’ve got a pen in my purse, if you’ve got paper.”
“I do.” Jay hesitated. “You said heat. I want a gun.”
“Sure. That’s heat.”
“Slang.”
“No, it’s just what everybody says. Or it’s tons if you got more than one. Like, I got fifteen tons stashed around now. So immediate delivery on them. What kind you want?”
Jay stroked his jaw, trying to reduce a hundred dreams to the pinpoint of a single gun small enough to fit into his wheeled duffel.
“Lemme explain my pricing structure to you while you’re thinking it over,” the woman said, sounding very professional indeed. “Top of the line, I got submachine guns and machine pistols. That’s mostly nine-millimeter, but there’s some other stuff too. Like right now, on hand, I’ve got this very cool little machine pistol that’s seven sixty-five.”
She had paused to see whether he was interested; he sensed her scrutiny.
“It’s what we used to call a thirty-two, only this one’s got seven point sixty-five on the slide.”
He shook his head and said, “I understand.”
“Okay, under that is your high-cap autos. Only they’re not really full auto, they’re semi. One I got’s a nine that holds seventeen rounds. Honest to God. Twenty-five hundred for any of those.”
Jay did not speak.
“Where you draw the line is eleven, okay? If it holds eleven or under, it’s low-cap. Twelve or better is high.”
“These are handguns you’re talking about.”
“Yeah. Sure. Low-cap is two thousand. Or eighteen hundred if it only holds eight. There’s a lot of these single-stack forty-fives around, and eight is all they’ll take. So eighteen hundred for one in good shape. Then if you want a real buy, you get a revolver. I’ve seen some that hold eight, but it’s mostly six, and nine times out of ten six will do it if you’re careful. Twelve, thirteen hundred and you can get two, so that gives you twelve rounds and you got two guns in case one breaks. It’s a really good deal, because most people are too dumb to see that it is.”
“I need a rifle,” Jay told her. “Don’t you have any rifles?”
“The Feds melted them down, or most of them,” the woman said dubiously.
“I know. But I hunt my food, for the most part.” Jay cleared his throat. “I’m not from around here at all. I’m from Pennsylvania.”
“So you don’t really want to shoot anybody?”
“Deer,” he told her. “Deer, and black bear. Rabbits and so forth now and then. Birds. A shotgun would be better for those, but I can’t carry both back with me, and if I had a rifle I could shoot birds sitting sometimes.” Doubting her comprehension, he added, “Ducks on the water. That sort of thing.”
“I don’t have one in my stock. I don’t have a shotgun, either, and the shells are really hard to get these days.”
He nodded sadly. “I suspected that they would be.”
“Listen, we’re just sitting here in this traffic. Would it bother you too much if I banged on my laptop some? Maybe I can find something for you.”
“No. Go ahead.”
“Okay, turn around the other way. Not toward me, away from me. Push slow against the harness.”
&nbs
p; He did, and the vanette announced, “I am required by law to caution you that your chance of survival in a high-speed crash has been reduced by sixty-two percent.”
The woman said, “We’re not even crawling, you idiot.”
“The vehicle which strikes me may be traveling at a high rate of speed, however,” the vanette replied primly.
Jay had contrived to turn a hundred and eighty degrees, so that he was kneeling in his seat and peering into the immensely cluttered rear of the vanette.
“Chinese red,” the woman said.
He picked up the only red object he saw and held it up, careful not to look at her. “Is this it?”
“Sure.”
Turning away from her again, he resumed a normal posture. “Would you like me to open it for you?”
“You can’t. There’s a thumbprint lock.” She took it, and from the corner of his eye he saw her prop it against the wheel and plug a wire into the instrument panel. “You watch traffic, okay? If the car in front moves, tell me.”
“All right,” he said; and added, “Where are we going?”
“Nowhere.” She sounded abstracted, and he heard the quick, hard tapping of her fingers on the keys. “We’re going nowhere, Skeeter.” More taps, and a little sound of disgust.
“They know that name already, huh? From when you phoned.” The woman appeared to hesitate. “Yeah, I guess they have to. You can call me Mack.”
“All right. Can’t you find me a rifle, Mack?”
“Not so far. I got one more place I can try, though.” She tapped keys again.
He said, “The car in front’s moving.”
“About time.”
“Can I ask a question?”
“Sure. You can ask me a thousand, only I might not answer any.”
“Who is ‘they’?”
He felt her incomprehension.
“You said they probably know my name. Did you mean the holovid people who gave me the upgrade?”
“Globnet.”
“Yes, Globnet. Was that who you meant, Mack?”
“No. The Feds. Big Daddy.”
“So they can collect taxes on my money? I haven’t refused to pay them. I haven’t even been asked to pay.”
Traffic had stopped again. Jay heard the rattle of its hard plastic case as the woman shifted her laptop back to the steering wheel. “They know you won’t pay. Say, would you like a carbine? He’s got a carbine.”
Jay felt his heart sink. “Not as much as a rifle. Hasn’t anybody got a rifle?”
“Not now. They might have something later, but maybe not. You never know.”
Unwilling to surrender the new rifle he needed, Jay changed the subject. “How could the government possibly know I won’t pay the tax?”
“How much did they give you? The holovid people?”
“That’s my affair.”
“Okay. Whatever it was? Have you still got it all?”
“No,” Jay said. “I gave you a hundred.”
“So you don’t. So you wouldn’t pay the whole tax because you couldn’t.”
He felt her hand on his arm.
“They want it all. The works. You’ll find out. Not all you’ve got now, the most you ever had. Traffic like this—how many choppers do you think we ought to hear?”
He shook his head.
“About one every hour, maybe a little more. Three in a hour, tops. They been goin’ over every three or four minutes lately. I just timed the last two on the dash clock. About three minutes.”
From the corner of his eye he saw her hand reach out to rap the instrument panel. “Hey, you! Wake up there. I want you to open the sunroof.”
The sunroof slid smoothly back, and the interior of the vanette was abruptly frigid. “Watch them awhile,” the woman told Jay, “it’ll keep you from looking at me.”
He did, craning his neck to see the bleak winter sky where the towering office buildings had failed to obscure it. “Won’t our open roof attract their attention?”
“I don’t think so. There must be a couple of thousand people stuck in this mess who’re wondering why they’re flying over all the time.”
“Black helicopters.” Jay spoke half to himself. “Out where I live, way out in the country, people make jokes about black helicopters. Somebody in town did once, that’s what I’m trying to say, one time when I came into town. He said the black helicopters would get me, and laughed, and I’ve remembered it for some reason.”
“Sure.”
“It’s supposed to be like flying saucers, something crazy people see. But here in the city it’s real. I caught sight of one a moment ago.”
“Sure,” the woman repeated. “They’re looking for drugs out there is what we hear. Flying over the farmers’ fields to see if they’re growing pot in the middle of the cornfield. They’re not really black, I guess. People who’ve seen them up close say they’re UPS green, really. But they sure look black, up there.”
“They must have binoculars—no, something better than binoculars. Isn’t there a chance they’ll see me down here and recognize me?”
“Mmm,” the woman said.
“If the Government is really after me at all, I mean. The holovid people said it would be criminals.” Jay paused, recalling his conversations with Smith. “Mostly criminals, unless I put the money in a bank.”
“Okay, close it,” the woman told the vanette, and the sunroof slid shut as smoothly as it had opened. “You’re right about the binoculars,” she told Jay. “They’ll have something better, something they won’t let us own. But I’m right about the Feds being after you. Ten minutes after the broadcast, they’ll have had a dozen people on it, and by this time there could be a couple of hundred. They’ll be another news tonight at eleven, and we’d better watch it.”
Jay nodded. “If we can.”
“We can. The big question’s how good a look they’ve had at you. Been looking in any mirrors lately?”
“Since I got the upgrade?” Certain already that he knew the answer, he squirmed in his seat. “Let me think. Yes, once. In a restroom in the Globnet Building. I was looking at the new stars in my screen, though. Not at my own face.”
“You will have seen your face, though,” the woman said thoughtfully. “I’d like to know if they broadcast that. In a toilet? Maybe not.”
“I’d like to watch the news tonight. I know how silly this sounds, but I can’t visualize it.” Apologetically he added, “I haven’t watched much holovid.”
“I’d like to, too,” the woman said, “because I haven’t seen this either, just had people tell me. I’ll fix it.”
“Thanks.”
“What about this carbine? Do you want it?”
“I don’t know. Perhaps I’d better take it, if there’s nothing else. No rifles.”
“They’re harder to hide, so the Feds have about cleaned them out, and there’s not much call for them. Later I might be able to find one for you.”
“Later I won’t be here. What caliber is it?”
“Forty. Same as a forty-caliber pistol is what he says, and uses the same magazine.” She pressed more buttons. “It folds up, too.”
“A folding stock?”
“Doesn’t say. Just that it’s thirty inches long to shoot and sixteen folded. What are you grinning about?”
Jay patted the duffel. “I was afraid this wouldn’t be long enough to hold the rifle I was hoping to get.”
She grunted. “Well, you could carry this under that coat. Put a loop of string over your shoulder and fold it over the string. It wouldn’t be as handy as a pistol, but you could do it.”
“I’d rather hang it by the butt, if it will stay folded.” Jaw was silent for a moment, thinking. “I’ll have to see it first. I don’t suppose that gadget gives an effective range?”
More buttons. “A hundred and fifty meters is what he says.”
“Huh.”
“Probably got a lot of barrel. Twelve, fourteen inches. Something like that, and even out
of a pistol barrel a forty travels pretty fast.”
“I imagine he’s stretching it,” Jay said slowly, “even so, most of the shots I get are under a hundred yards, and those that are longer aren’t a lot longer.”
“Going to take it?”
He nodded. “I’ve been using a bow. A bow I made myself and arrows I made myself, too. Did I tell you?”
“I don’t think so. I thought maybe you had a shotgun already. You hunt a lot.”
He nodded again. When ten minutes had passed, and they were crawling along steadily, he asked, “Where are we going?”
“Dump I got. You know that address? Greentree?”
“There were people there, you said.”
“We’re not going there. I just wanted to say I don’t live there. It’s a place I got where I make sales sometimes, that’s all. Where we’re going now’s like that, only uptown.”
The sunroof slid smoothly back, and a woman in an orange jumpsuit dropped into the rear seat. Jay released his seat harness to turn and look at her, and the vanette said, “I am required by law to caution you that your chance of survival in a high-speed crash has been reduced by seventy percent.”
The woman who sold guns snapped, “Shut your sunroof!”
The woman in the orange jumpsuit had cleared a space for herself on the seat. She removed her helmet, shook out long, dark hair, and smiled at Jay. “I’m sure you know who I am.”
He tried to return the smile. “I have no idea.”
“Who I represent, I mean. My name is Hayfa, Hayfa Washington.” She ran her finger down the front seam of her jumpsuit, reached inside, and produced a sparkling business card. “Look at this, please. Read it carefully.”
CAPTAIN H. WASHINGTON
Fifth Airborne Brigade
Federal Revenue & Security Services
0067 5667-1339
www.hayfawings.gov
“You may keep the card, of course.”
“I’d like to,” Jay told her. “I’ve never seen such a beautiful one.”
She smiled again. “You have a great deal of money belonging to our Federal Government. One hundred thousand, if not more.”
The other woman said, “He thinks it belongs to him.”
“I do,” Jay said. “It was paid me by Globnet.”
“Which didn’t own it either,” Hayfa Washington told him.