by K. B. Draper
“Nope. Never. But hey,” I waved an unconcerned hand, “demons shemons. It’s not a big deal. I’m an equal opportunity ass kicker. But I swear, if she goes all nails and hair-pulling bullshit then we’re seriously going to have a problem.”
Ashlyn’s head dropped to my shoulder, laughing. “God, you’re too-” More laughs. “My father would’ve seriously loved you.”
She brought her smiling eyes back up to mine and I fell just a bit further. “I’m sure I would’ve liked him too.”
Ashlyn laid a hand on my cheek, kissing me sweetly. “Thank you, AJ, for letting me in. I’m sure that’s not an easy thing for you.”
I kissed her back. “I’ll let you in on another secret. I thought you were bringing me out here to let me down easy. You know, thanks but-”
Ashlyn swatted my arm. “Why in the world would you have thought that?”
“I don’t know, meaningful moment with the ex … Rekindled flame … I hunt demons.”
Ashlyn looked at me, confused. “Ex? Loretta? Oh good god no! I mean, she was good for a behind the bleacher high school make-out but … No! Just No!”
I laughed this time.
Ashlyn stood, offering me a hand. “And as far as the demon hunting goes, I think we have a church service to get ready for.”
Ashlyn said her good-byes to her father and we headed back to her car.
Headed back to town, I thought of a potential hiccup in our plan. I looked at Ashlyn. “This stupid church isn’t one of those have to wear a dress kind of places, is it? Because I’ll say right now, that ain’t happening, just FYI.”
Ashlyn chuckled. “I don’t think you wearing pants will be what Cline will have a problem with.”
“I don’t know if that’s a compliment or an insult.”
“I don’t either.” She smirked.
I was going to protest, but her cell rang. I listened until I could tell it was work and not another dead body. I stared out the window and watched the countryside go by as she listened to the facts of the call. She let me out across the street from where I left Woody. “Sorry. I got to go grab this call. Not a big deal, but I need to handle it. I’ll meet you and Danny at the church?”
“Okay. Be careful.” I started to lean forward to give her a kiss until I remembered we were in the middle of small-town America, that she was in uniform and in her government issued vehicle.
Ashlyn smiled at my discomfort, then reached out her window, grabbed me by my shirt, and pulled me to her and into a kiss that had me blushing. “Okay, so, you don’t mind public displays of affection,” I said when she released me.
“Do you?” she asked.
“With you, no. I’m absolutely fine with any and all affection.”
“Good to know.” She winked. “See you at church.”
“See you at church.” Four words I never thought I'd say without a ’s Chicken after it.
Danny was offering Grand a cup of tea when I pulled up at the campsite. Grand looked tired and a tad worried. “Everything okay?”
Grand swallowed a sip of tea and waited until the soothing warmth hit all the needed places before smiling. “I very much enjoyed meeting Ashlyn today. Thank you for that gift.”
“It was for both of you.”
“Where is she?” Danny asked, lifting an empty mug in a silent offer.
“No, thanks. She got a work call. She’ll meet us at church tonight.”
Danny jumped and danced attempting to avoid the hot sloshing liquid. “I’m sorry. Come again? Meet us where?”
I pointed at his hand he was now sucking on. “And that’s what happens when you reject the Almighty.”
“Well, then you’re definitely up shit creek.”
I would’ve argued, if there’d been an argument to be had. “Careful there, Pepe, ’cause you’ll be the one gondoliering our asses upstream in extra-tight white pants.”
“Why do I have to be in tight white pants?” Danny asked.
“My dream, my outfit.”
“I know why.” Danny twerked his ass at me.
I snorted.
Grand, spared from Danny’s poor Miley Cyrus impression, dug through his bag, waving Danny over as he pulled out a small vial of clear gel. “Give me your hand, Son.”
Danny obliged. “Okay, so really, why are we going to church?”
As Grand doctored Danny’s boo-boo, I told them about our chat with the sheriff.
“Tell me again how we know the church is connected to all this?” Danny asked, as he’s a “see all the pieces fit perfectly together” kind of guy. I, on the other hand, am more of an “it’s close enough” kind of person.
It was Grand who answered. “The insight I received from the elders could support that belief. They believe it is the Spider Queen’s desire to have the child grow up here on this plane as a way to hide its existence from Mackunjai.”
“Ummm, don’t you think the kid would stick out in daycare? I mean, his Nolia wings constantly knocking over the building blocks? And when he spits out his peas, the high chair tray dissolves with his venom drool?” I asked.
“One would think,” Grand said, taking another sip of his tea. He was obviously still exhausted from his trip to the other side.
“Well, I know this: Crazy Reverend-Mayor wannabe Falwell over there would not be a good father figure for the little demon clinger.”
Grand looked at Danny for translation. I wasn’t offended; I get that a lot.
“Baby. AJ’s not a fan. He tightened a fist around his index finger and pulled. “They cling.”
Grand chuckled.
“And slobber. And poop,” I added. “And yak, and-”
Danny held up a hand. “I think he’s got it.”
“Snot everywhere,” I finished but then fell silent thinking about having a clinger in the mix. I’d made my peace with killing demons the first go around after I saw what it had done to a young college student. As a cop, I knew it was a possibility I’d have to take a human life at some point. I knew that if it came to that decision I could make it and would do what needed to be done. But an innocent clinger? Well, I guess I didn’t know about the innocent part. He was half demon. Maybe it came out of the womb spitting pea soup and killing bunnies. And that thought bought me a one-way ticket back to the clearing and all the animals. Maybe Danny was right? Maybe the clinger had … I didn’t want to think about it. I didn’t want to make the decision right now. Maybe it would come baring fangs and talons and try to eat my face and that would make the decision for me. Maybe. I back pocketed it for the moment as I’m super great at active avoidance, one of my many skill sets, right up there with ass kicking.
“All right so anything else useful in Never Never Land?” I asked.
“Just that they send great caution in dealing with the queen. Her belief in her cause is strong, her will even stronger, and that makes for a very dangerous foe.”
I nodded. “Do you mind if I phone a friend and we all talk about this foe? Maybe together we can come up with a plan to fight her. Maybe he knows that she has a weak left hook or something?”
Grand smiled. “Please. I admit I am curious about your new friend.”
Danny silently moved to get Nancy, placed her within arm’s reach of Grand, and moved closer to his bag that held his Glock, Lullaby, as I aptly named him, cause if you heard singing in your direction you were going to be out cold.
“You good?” I asked.
Danny nodded. “I feel a little underdressed to be inviting an angel over for tea but …” He waved a go ahead hand at me.
“I can wait for you to change, Altar Boy.”
“Nope, love me, love my…” he looked down at what he was wearing, “Atari tee.” He held up a palm. “Never mind, wait.” He jumped up and clicked his car remote.
“Seriously?” I yelled at his retreating back.
“It’s never too late to make a good impression.”
“He slept with a freakin’ chick spider demon. I don’t think he’s o
ne to judge.”
Danny had already pulled off his tee. Looking around the car’s up-swung hatchback door, he held out two shirts. “White or black?”
“You have got to be kidding me.”
“Right, white. Duh, for angel.” He started to put his arms in the sleeves but paused with the shirt over his head. “But he’s a fallen angel so black maybe.” He dropped the white shirt and started the same pull-on routine with the black one. “Of course, maybe white is kind of a reminder of his roots so he doesn’t kill us.” He dropped the black one and started again with the white shirt.
“If you aren’t over here in 2.2 seconds, you’ll be meeting the angel in your skivvies.”
Grand sipped his tea. “You two are very amusing.”
“I’m amusing? He is being a FREAKIN’ SIXTEEN-YEAR-OLD GIRL GETTING READY FOR PROM NIGHT!”
“I’m going with white!” Danny yelled back. “But I look tougher in black,” he muttered. “Black.” He slid it over his head as he shut the hatchback.
“You ready, Cinderella?”
“Ready, Stepmother,” Danny replied.
I rolled my eyes and turned to the forest and wolf whistled.
At first all was quiet. The three of us watched the sky as if we thought he was going to descend from heaven. But it was the trees that gave away his presence, their tops swaying in response to the beat of his wings.
“Holy shit,” Danny whispered, pure awe in his words.
I, on the other hand, was completely silent, my own admiration caught in my throat. The sight of him was beautiful and mesmerizing, the kind of sight that would make you believe in things your brain would otherwise talk you out of. He descended with the ease of someone who had done so a million times. His wings were expanded. Stretched fully out they were a good car length wide, and I’m not talking Danny’s pussy Prius either; I’m talking 1970 Cadillac Fleetwood. They were magnificent.
“Hey, Magical Mike. You’re looking better,” I said.
With his feet on the ground, he let his wings fold in behind him. “I am better now. Thanks to you.” He bowed his head in gratitude.
I waited for him to walk the short distance, noticing through the damaged chest armor there was still red scarred flesh where the venom had done the greatest damage.
“Michael, this is Chief Whitefang of the Choctaw tribe.”
Grand stood to greet him. “Michael, it is an honor.”
Michael shook the hand Grand offered. “The honor is mine, Chief Whitefang.”
“And this is the Chief’s grandson.” Danny was reaching for Michael’s hand but paused to shoot me a “DO NOT embarrass me in front of the angel” glare. “Meet my very good friend and partner, Danny Whitefang,” I finished.
“Danny,” Michael bowed his head slightly, “it’s good to meet you as well.”
“You too, Sir. Angel. Michael. Angel. Sir,” Danny stammered.
Michael grinned. “Michael is fine. Thank you.”
“Right, Michael, of course. Nice to meet you.”
Michael turned to me. “I appreciate Hoyo A-”
“AJ,” I corrected.
He nodded. “AJ, I appreciate you calling for me.”
“We were hoping you could provide us a little more information about the Reyna before tonight.”
He raised a curious eyebrow.
“We believe something is going down tonight. The church is holding a special sermon and the Reverend is talking about,” I air quoted, “a miracle.”
“She is going to hand our child over to him.”
“That’s what we’re thinking. Why don’t we sit and talk it through.”
We sat around the fire, Michael replaying the details he’d shared with me earlier in day. We asked him about her shape-shifting abilities, and he confirmed she was able to mask her demon side completely, including scent. I officially added this to my growing “super sucky for us” list. Add venomous loogies and web throwing into the mix and she had just rounded out the trifecta of “this is going to totally blow.”
Michael ended his story with a part I had been curious about, but to this point I’d had too much couth to ask him. Just kidding. I was so going to ask him later about his transition from angel to Nolia Flaua. He was sporting the black wings, but I’d yet to sense the bad attitude that was usually a package deal.
Apparently, he’d gone back after several months of searching and ultimately confessed his little human-angel romance to Dad. Dad, being a “play by the holy book” kind of guy, reported his son’s indiscretions to the big dude. He was put on angel probation and had his travel restricted but he ignored it and escaped back here in an attempt to look for the love of his life. And yeah, that’s kind of where we pick up the story. A few days ago, he started to go Donnie Darko when he found out he had a son. Then he got himself all Pin-the-Tail-on-the-Donkey-ed to the wall and now here we sat.
“I don’t know how much longer I have before I fully transition and lose my …” he trailed off. “I need to find my son, save him, and then take my punishment for my crimes.”
We all sat silent. Okay, Grand and Danny did. I raised my hand and asked, “Okay, who’s in for a good old-fashioned bitch hunt?”
It was my turn to divulge some details, so I informed Michael about the special sermon and our plan to see what we could find out. Though he could conceal his wings, I thought a huge, beautiful, gladiator type guy walking into to the church on “miracle day” would likely surprise some churchgoers and not in a “what the heavenly bellhop is an angel doing here” kind of way.
If I was honest, I was kind of looking forward to tonight’s heavenly adventure, not for the synchronized amens and the off-key singing, but purely for the proverbial middle finger that me showing up would send to Reverend-Mayor Cline.
Danny made us something to eat as we talked. We decided that if and when we found out more information at the church sermon, we’d signal him so he, like Ashlyn, could ride his revenge float in this shit-going-down parade. The upside to Michael being there was more muscle. The downside was I still didn’t know what needed to happen with the good/evil love child, and having daddy there could make things slightly more challenging. I again went AA on the issue, actively avoiding it completely. As much as I wasn’t into kids, I really wasn’t into killing them either. Unless they were zombies. Just FYI, I do not do zombies in any way, shape or form.
I walked with Michael to the lake. “You good with this Magic Mike?”
“You have continued to call me this title which I don’t understand. I am no wizard.”
I up-and-downed his physique that made Tatum Channing look like an anorexic string bean. “It’s a people thing; don’t worry, it’s a compliment.”
He nodded. “Magic Mike it is then. I am honored and thankful to fight beside you. You should know I will fight any and all for my son.”
“Yeah, about him. Do you have a clue on how the whole half and half thing works?”
He sighed. “I do not. I know the legends as I know you do. What powers he may possess, destruction that he could yield. But I have to believe that if he has that capacity for evil, then he also has that same capacity for good.”
I nodded. “I’ll hope that’s the case then. I held out a hand. “Agree to cross that bridge when we get to it?”
He took my hand and bowed instead of shaking. “I will await your call.”
As I walked back to the campsite, I pulled out my phone to call Ashlyn, for no real reason except to hear her voice. I thought better of it; she was working and I would be seeing her shortly.
I helped Danny clean up from our meal, packing the items back up in Woody and the Prius. We decided that it would be better for Grand to go back to the motel and rest while waiting for our call. I changed clothes, electing an outfit more for a demon ass-whopping than for scripture but hey, they were my good black cargos. I also selected a button-down shirt over my tank top to cover up Juan and Pepe, my identical hunting knives that were sleeved at my back.
“It’s about that time,” I said. “I want to get there early, make sure we spot everyone and see if we can catch a whiff of what’s going on.”
“Makes sense. You want to take Woody or my car?”
I looked over at Danny’s Prius. “I’ve been meaning to ask you about your new car. Did you get that by selling the most cosmetics in your region or …”
“Very funny. No, it was the only thing I could find on short notice, plus it’s good for the environment.”
I made a face. “Next time maybe choose something that’s good for your manhood, Danielle.”
“I wouldn’t have had to buy a car if someone hadn’t left me behind,” he reminded.
“Whine later. Drive now,” I instructed as I threw him Woody’s keys. “We’ll take Woody. Give Grand the Hot Wheel car. Sorry, Grand.”
We weren’t the first vehicle in the church’s parking lot; there were a half-dozen others, including the Reverend-Mayor’s and Wayne Jr.’s. Well, this should be interesting. I glanced around the parking lot looking for a certain government-issued vehicle. I was fighting a bit of disappointment that I hadn’t heard from Ashlyn. Of course, I had been too cool to reach out to her either, but now I was getting that little tingle at the back of my neck, so I womaned up, pulled out my phone, and texted her. “At the church. Wait for you inside. Hope all is okay.” I slid the phone back in my pocket, hitting the silent button. I figured since I was wearing weapons instead of a dress into God’s house, the least I could do was silence my phone. It’s the little gestures that count.
“Let’s go in to get a feel for things,” I suggested.
“Ashlyn on her way?” Danny asked.
“I’m sure she is. She probably just got caught up on a call.” I hoped.
I was right. A good many eyes swung in Danny’s and my direction as we broke the threshold of the Reverend’s little man-made god decorated sanctuary. I smiled wide, threw in a few nods and some “God be with you”s to shake things up every now and then.
“You could just nod and kill the Godmmentary,” Danny whispered, pulling me into a pew a few rows in from the back.