In my arms rests Bertha, my short barreled, modified rifle because I refuse to be without her in my current state. I don’t want Ms. Beast loose; she’s too unpredictable right now. Attacking Beck proved that. Nova is out of the question. If I can’t control Ms. Beast, I have no hope of securing the more aggressive side of me. For now, Bertha is the safest bet if we run into hellhounds.
Refusing to give up even with my billowing clouds dripping blood, I inhale again and tilt my head back closing my eyes this time.
“Think water, think waves, think soothing sounds, think comfort,” I murmur to myself. I push aside anger and chaos until I’m almost in a meditative state. The clouds turn an even deeper red and Che cries out inside my head then Ruth. The images turn to them dead—their mouths open, screams cut off. The cloud of red becomes a thunderstorm of death. It’s incredibly real and K-5 spikes. My heartrate accelerates and my skin grows damp as I fight shifting. When I’m finally able to open my eyes, Bertha is pointed out to sea and I squeeze the trigger spraying bullets into the ocean.
Cosway’s hand lands on the rifle’s barrel. Ms. Beast grumbles at the contact and sends more K-5 through me.
“Take apart. Put together.” Cosway says from far away, the words mixed into the red fog that will not go away.
I pull Ms. Beast back inch by painful inch. Her claws rake inside me, and she fights against my will. I’ve taken ten steps back in the past week. I’ve controlled Ms. Beast since my first shift. It wasn’t perfect control and took time to finesse, but it was control and somehow, I’ve lost it.
I glance at the gun in my very human hands; its weight reassures me. The fact I didn’t shift to Beast should assure me, but I’m still fighting to hold on.
I breathe deeply, focusing on Ms. Beast. She grumbles. Behind her the dark shadow settles and Ms. Beast calms though she continues pacing.
I disassemble Bertha. I’m unsure why I do as Cosway says. I’ve only had this skill for a short time. Me and guns were not friends until I became Warrior. Right now, Bertha seems to be my only comfort.
When I’m finished, I lift the rifle back into my arms cradling it like a baby.
Cosway looks at the rifle then me. “Again,” she says.
I do it again.
And again.
And again. The pieces fall into my hands and slide home as I go through the motions. The red clouds fade.
“Now eyes closed,” she whispers after the sixth or seventh time.
I close my eyes and click the safety into place. Next, I separate the lower receiver from the upper receiver after pushing on the correct pin. I have no problem doing it without sight, using just concentration. There are no longer clouds, just a dense, murky gray.
“Again,” she says softly when I’m done.
This is the best I’ve concentrated in weeks. The death and frustration cluttering my head recedes. My thoughts go into some semblance of order as I replay my life since meeting Endura.
The next time I start to dismantle the gun, Cosway takes it from my hands. “Close eyes. Do in mind without gun.”
I don’t question her. With my head tipped back and the ocean wind blowing on my face, I easily clear my thoughts of everything but Bertha. Piece by loving piece, I take her apart then reassemble her until she’s ready to perform her duty. Each step is locked inside my head, and each step is the focus my brain needs. When I’m finished, I mentally rub my hand along her silk-like barrel and inhale the scent of gun oil remaining on my hands.
Calm continues flowing through my mind and euphoria fills me. Ms. Beast lies down and closes her eyes, her entire body lax. The shadow behind her slumps into itself forming a ball. The waves hitting the rocks below where I’m standing fill my head. The knowledge I’ve gained this past year breaks apart, realigning, finding order within the madness. The weight of Bertha rests in my arms even though she isn’t there. Clarity fills me as I inhale its tight weave and pull the threads apart.
A kaleidoscope of images flashes through my head. They’re so real I want to grab them out of the air. Ms. Beast fights hellhounds. Flash. My mate wrapping his strong arms around me. Flash.
Then a flash I’m not expecting. It’s Nova. Her fangs drip blood and her energy builds.
No, you don’t, I tell her silently. You are mine.
A satisfied grumble leaves Ms. Beast’s throat when I pull Nova back. Ms. Beast rises and walks to the shadow, standing over it. She growls softly before lying down so she’s almost wrapped around Nova.
My mind flies to what happened at Homestead One and Knet’s kidnapping. The pieces fall into place.
I open my eyes. The world is nothing like it was an hour ago.
Chapter Nine
The Island (Cuba)
King
Marinah’s absence is a dark hole in our daily routine. She’s part of the island’s lifeforce even though she has no idea what that means. I’ve tried taking things slow, giving her time. Maybe time isn’t the answer. Warriors understand war. I’ve been treating my mate like a human woman and not the bloodthirsty Warrior she’s become.
The punch of energy from Marinah’s Beast hit me in the gut when she went after Beck. Fury and confusion filled me, mirroring what was going on inside Marinah. I’ve felt it before, but this was different. Our mate bond pulled me along, and I wanted to kill Beck too. I almost went after him instead of grabbing Marinah.
“Have you heard from her?” Axel, our doctor, asks. He’s also Marinah’s friend. He’s been working hard to save the people injured during the battle. We lost two Warriors in the attack along with six humans. He looks as exhausted as the rest of us.
“It’s only been three days,” I say stiffly.
“The Warriors need her here.”
My mind goes dark, and my fingers itch to clasp Axel’s throat. “Something is wrong. Marinah’s Beast is acting strangely.”
“Could it be the women’s history?”
I thought of this too. I shrug. “I’m unsure.”
We both go silent, contemplating what the books might hold.
Axel breaks the silence first. “Should you read their history?”
I want nothing more. The female Warriors have been a mystery to us. The possibility of them living in a community was never considered. Our texts speculate that the women assimilated into the human world and were lost to us.
“I’ll talk to her about the texts when she returns,” I tell Axel.
“Hopefully that will be soon,” he mutters and walks away.
So do I.
Beck is pacing the floor in the meeting room. He advances as soon as I enter. Before he asks, I hold up a hand. “No word from her, it’s only been three days.”
Beck rolls his eyes. “Maylin and Missy put a stupid idea into her head. Something about Cosway wanting Marinah to meditate.” He scratches the side of his face.
Beck wants life lined up perfectly though it rarely happens. He’s loyal and a pain in the neck. I’ve grown accustomed to his endless whining. He barely tolerated Marinah in the beginning. When she became alpha, he insisted he would remain as my protector. His Beast wouldn’t allow it. I thought the bond with my men would leave after Marinah became Nova and I stepped aside as Alpha. When my uncle died, the unseen strings of Warrior energy grasped me almost instantly. I expected them to disappear just as suddenly.
Inner turmoil shrouded my thinking after my uncle died. While grieving for him, I also took on the role as Leader of Shadow Warriors. We were fighting the Federation, and the decisions I made cost Warrior lives. My days were spent attacking and killing. It wasn’t a choice; it was life or death. My Beast led me and I allowed it. Enemies died. Friends fought beside me. Life was simpler. War was simpler.
Marinah now deals with island politics which drove me crazy. She’s trying to find her place among us while leading. She questions herself because she wasn’t born to war. Everyone has advice, even Cosway it seems.
“The women are meditating?” I ask in confusion. Maybe I di
dn’t hear him correctly.
His gaze meets mine for one second. “Not the women. They think Marinah needs to meditate.”
“It makes no sense.”
Beck flings himself into the closest chair, and I take a seat two down. “Apparently, the island women felt they had a champion in Marinah. They caused an endless set of problems for your mate. They made demands thinking it was Marinah’s problem to fix. Then she went Nova at Homestead One, and they’re terrified Marinah will eat their children. Cosway and apparently Missy and Maylin think if she acts more human, the women will trust her again.” Beck’s face looks as if he ate something nasty.
“It still makes no sense.” My hand covers my face for a brief second as I try to picture Marinah meditating. I can’t even smile at the stupid image that pops into my head. Marinah is not exactly the meditating type but then, I’ve never known a Shadow Warrior who would sink to any kind of new age crap.
“Maybe you need to go to Del Rey and check on her,” Beck strongly suggests, which has Beast grumbling.
I turn my head slightly and give him a full dose of alpha. “Maybe I shouldn’t.” Whatever is going on in her head, she needs space to figure it out.
“The Federation will attack soon. We have no idea what Knet told them.”
“Why do you think he would talk?” Beck’s focus on Knet is getting on my nerves. You could remove a Shadow Warrior’s limbs, and he wouldn’t give our secrets away to humans.
“I don’t think he was kidnapped. He went willingly.”
“What?” I challenge and shove my chair back as I rise.
Beck’s eyes practically glow in anger, his jaw tight when he speaks. “Knet hates you. He’s wanted to be one of your personal guard, and when he wasn’t chosen, he blamed Marinah for his ineptitude. The men have been grumbling about Knet for months. We’ve suspected a traitor. Knet fits the bill.”
I want to rip Beck’s head off for keeping this to himself. We knew there was a traitor, but we suspected that person to be human. “Did you give your theory to Marinah?”
Beck is smart enough to look away when he answers. “I planned to voice my suspicions at our last meeting, but someone almost ripped my throat out.”
He’s lucky I don’t finish the job.
Chapter Ten
Del Rey (Love Island)
Marinah
I miss King. Four days is too long to be separated, and I crave him like crazy. My head is clearer now. The meditation didn’t just help, it gave me what’s been missing. Cosway and her calm understanding helped too. She has a different way of looking at the world, and now it’s rubbed off on me.
I know what we need to do. The Shadow Warriors are not ready to attack the Federation on the mainland. The humans at the outposts aren’t ready either. We only have one option, and King won’t like it.
“I pack bags,” Cosway says from the door. I never mentioned we were leaving. She senses what’s inside me before I understand it myself.
I hold up a hand before she leaves the room. “I want to meditate before we go.” She gives a smile over her shoulder when she walks away. I pick up her cat and give it the affection I’d rather be giving Callie. King is another story. I need his arms around me. He’s a part of me and I’m not whole without him.
I put the cat down and hike to my favorite spot overlooking the ocean. I don’t have Bertha with me because I no longer need her. I have full control of Ms. Beast again. When I close my eyes and tip my head back, I begin navigating the misty corridors of the Federation compound where I worked. Slowly, I walk the long narrow hallways. I have no idea what I’m looking for, but while meditating, my brain takes me where I need to be. A door I pass through closes silently behind me. I continue searching the endless halls that were my world for so long. Each room is empty and not even my boots make sound on the cement floors.
I turn my head at a faint buzz in the distance. Familiar voices. Silence. The enemy is crystal clear. K-5 rises inside me. Ms. Beast growls. I head toward the voices. Blood fills my vision then drips from my claws and fangs.
It’s pure bliss.
Chapter Eleven
The Island (Cuba)
King
I’ve been training all day and I’m exhausted. If my muscles scream and I’m barely able to move, maybe I will stop dreaming of Marinah and sleep tonight. If she isn’t back tomorrow, I’ll swim to Love Island if that’s what it takes. She will no longer close herself off from me.
With a slight stretch to my aching muscles, I head to our room where food will be delivered shortly. Sleeping has been impossible. Marinah’s scent permeates the room.
Mate, Beast whispers in my head.
He’s been raving inside me since she left, but his insistence is stronger today. I enter the room and stop in my tracks. My mate is curled up in our bed. The steady up and down of her chest tells me she’s real. She doesn’t wake up when I step closer. I notice a small rumple beneath the covers. A moment later, Callie sticks her head out, meows, and settles back down. I remove my clothes and crawl in beside Marinah, Callie between us.
I close my eyes and sleep like the dead. If food arrives, neither of us knows.
∞∞∞
Marinah’s warm hand on my chest wakes me. A soft grunt escapes her when I roll so she’s on top. “Where’s the devil cat?” I whisper.
She ignores my question. “I’ve missed you,” she says while running her hand down my chest until she finds what she’s after. Her eyes fill with mischief and desire. Her energy fills the room and combines with mine. Our Beasts go quiet, our heartbeats sync. With another roll, I’m looking down into her eyes. They’ve haunted me. The pain she’s been carrying is gone and, in its place, peace.
My legs spread hers and we join as mates. The rhythm of our bodies rocks the bed and sweat covers our skin as need takes over. Mate, our Beasts whisper in unison as we continue the relentless dance. Marinah’s neck stretches, and I bite the skin at the base of her throat. Her nails rake my back, her body grinding harder. Only two people exist in our world as we both find bliss.
∞∞∞
“I missed you too,” I say when I’m able to breathe and speak at the same time.
Marinah rests half on top of me, her head on my chest making her words slightly muffled. “I had to clear my head.”
I tug one of her braids so she looks at me. “Did it work?”
“Yes,” she murmurs while drawing a curly line on my chest. “I have a clear picture of what to do. I also have the queen thing under control.”
“Queen thing?” I ask carefully.
She smiles. It reaches her eyes, and the darkness she’s been dodging is gone. “I’m queen if you didn’t know it.” Her voice is strong. She sits up beside me—naked—bold—my mate. Her shoulders go back, and I’m dumbstruck by her willpower. “I am Marinah, daughter of Shadows, Leader of Warriors.”
The power of her words fills the room, a heavy roll of energy that prickles my skin and has me wanting to bow at her feet. Her brown eyes go darker without her Beast leading the show. This is Marinah the leader. Our alpha.
I lift the top part of my body and grab a handful of her braids dragging her mouth to mine. Her essence wraps around us. We are equals. My Beast slides into place beside Marinah’s. They circle as the kiss continues. Something shimmers behind Marinah’s Beast. Nova? Beast releases a burst of power and his call is answered.
∞∞∞
I raise an eyebrow. “Shadows plural?” I’m referring to her title.
We’re eating our breakfast in bed. Marinah’s shoveling food down her throat as fast as she can.
“Nothing else makes sense. My father had to be a non-mutating Warrior. It’s the only way possible for me to go Nova.”
“What brought this on?” I question.
“Something Endura said.” She takes a huge bite of food and chews it thoughtfully before continuing. “Her exact words were, ‘The second union of a Shadow Warrior pair this century.’” When I questioned
her, she wouldn’t elaborate. Her answer to everything was read the journals. My ability to shift makes perfect sense if both my parents were Shadow Warrior.”
It does make sense. “What does this change?” I ask curiously while wrapping my head around the idea. With the war against the Federation, we had little time to search for answers to Marinah’s past. Endura and the journals were unexpected.
Marinah grins. “It changes everything. I’ve tried to lead like you. I’ve done everything you say. I put up with Beck and do everything he says. It hasn’t worked. It’s time I lead my way. I refuse to beat myself up any longer because I’m not you.” She takes my hand and threads her fingers through mine. “Please tell me you understand.”
I want to throw her on the bed and spend the next few weeks there. This is the Marinah I’ve searched for. A small glimpse shines every so often, but then she questions herself. There is no woman who could take her place as my mate. I would kill any man who tried to fill my shoes.
The queen is back and even her voice is regal.
“Do not dress us in pink!”
She pinches my side. “If your queen decides on a color of the day, you will follow her direction or your head will leave your shoulders.”
I grab her hand, pulling her closer, and inhale her scent. “You lead. We follow,” I pledge.
I release her and she settles back into her chair. “I have a plan,” she says.
I give her my full attention. “If it involves killing Federation soldiers, I’m on board.”
She winks. “You won’t like it.”
“Of course I won’t. It isn’t my plan,” I grumble.
“We need to capture the scientist.”
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