by Jason Vale
If the car engine blows up, you can consume a thousand alcoholic drinks but you still need a mechanic. If your partner leaves you, all the drinks in the world will not bring them back or help you find another one. In reality it does the opposite and it probably drove them away in the first place. If you are looking for someone new, you might recognise this remark: ‘I have never gone to bed with an ugly person, but I have woken up with a few.’ Alcohol really does change your perception.
Alcohol causes financial stress, physical stress, mental stress and emotional stress. Exactly how does it relieve stress to wake up worrying about what you have said and done the night before or how you got home? Where is the relief in wondering how you can face people thinking: ‘I really didn’t mean to do it,’ ‘God I wish I hadn’t had so much to drink, I have a very important day ahead,’ ‘I’d better not drive this morning, I think I am still over the limit’ and ‘How much did I spend last night – where has all my money gone?’ Then there are the even more embarrassing questions: ‘How did I get here?,’ ‘Who are you?’
People who do not drink simply do not have these stresses. It is only the people who do drink who are stressed out by alcohol. When I was stressed and still an addict, I would say ‘God I need a drink!’ I would then phone a friend either to join me for a bottle at home or go to a pub. As the evening progressed I would start to feel better. Why? Was it because the alcohol helped put things in perspective or was it because I was able to talk about my stress with a friend? Alcohol alters your perspective. Again the addict remains blind as, to them, it was the alcohol that helped, not the friend. However, the biggest stress is having constantly to control your intake. I now do not have that stress. Nor do I wonder when I can have my next drink without having to exercise control or the stress of having to keep it to just a couple because of work or whatever. I don’t have the stress of feeling resentful about not drinking because I have to drive people nor do I have the physical, financial, mental or emotional stress that alcohol dependency creates.
Once again, children provide the best example. If your child was stressed because she had too much homework or was being bullied at school, would alcohol help her stress? So why do you think that it would help yours? It’s for the same reasons that I did because it appeared to help at times. Any outsider can see clearly that alcohol, far from relieving stress, causes it. Alcohol causes both physical and mental aggravation that, in turn, creates various degrees of stress. Any form of aggravation, whether physical or mental will affect your ability to focus or concentrate properly. But there are some drinkers who believe the illusion that a drink helps them to …
Concentrate
This is yet another clever con trick. Any form of concentration takes mental and physical focus. If you have an aggravation, like feeling the physical effects of coming off a drug or experiencing mental dependency on drink, then you will not be able to concentrate as well as you would without these aggravations. If somebody is suffering from the DTs they feel as though they cannot concentrate without a drink. The fact is, the only reason they cannot concentrate is because of the drink. In order to concentrate on anything at all you must first get rid of anything that is aggravating you. A heroin addict cannot concentrate properly without their drug. When they take the drug they are calmer and more relaxed and so better able to concentrate, but is there one non-heroin addict in the world who believes that heroin helps people concentrate? When I was on the wagon for three months I couldn’t concentrate properly at any social gathering. Even though the physical aggravation had gone, I still had the permanent mental aggravation of wanting to drink.
Some people have built up such immunity and tolerance to the drug that the withdrawal effects have become normal and they believe this is how they are meant to feel. The chemical reaction automatically sends a signal to the brain and the thought ‘I want a drink’ occurs. While they retain that thought, they will not be able to concentrate properly until they get what they want. Part of their focus has now been taken up with an urge caused by a subtle chemical reaction in the body. As soon as they fix themselves a drink they will be better able to concentrate. The funny thing is that, as soon as they take a sip, they will crack on with whatever they need to focus on, yet the drink has had no time to take effect whatsoever. It’s psychosomatic. If the alcohol did take effect, they would definitely not be able to concentrate on anything. You need total concentration and focus to pass a driving test so why not have a drink before the test? Because it changes your judgement, slows your reactions and causes mental and physical aggravation. Do you think that Andy Murray would concentrate better on his game if he had a drink before a big match? Would children focus better on their homework if they fixed themselves a little ‘Scotty’ (Scotch) before they began? A brain surgeon really needs a steady hand and full concentration to do the job – alcohol to the rescue once more! What an amazing drug alcohol is, it does everything. Sorry, it appears to do everything and that is the con.
The only reason why drinkers are better able to concentrate at certain times when they do have a drink is because they are either ending a physical low (caused by the drug) or they have satisfied their psychological dependency on the drug. The truth is that they are only ending an aggravation. When you eliminate any aggravation you are better able to concentrate than you were but you shouldn’t have had the aggravation in the first place. Think about it logically. How can a depressant that destroys brain cells, numbs your senses (including sight which is a valuable aid to focusing), slows down your reactions and stupefies you, help you concentrate? It can’t. It is yet another con.
‘But Jason, if you have nothing to do, at least alcohol helps to relieve …’
Boredom
I’ve said that when we are doing something we instinctively know to be stupid, we have to come up with some rational reasons to try to justify it. However, this particular excuse really takes the biscuit. In my private sessions I often get drinkers telling me that alcohol helps when they are bored. Helps what: the boredom? Alcohol cannot in any way relieve boredom. In order to succeed we have to be honest with ourselves. If you are sitting by yourself and bored out of your head with a drink in your hand, you are still bored. When I was a child and I was bored, my mother would never say, ‘Oh, have drink son’; she would say, ‘Go and do something.’ Alcohol is a drug and, as such, creates a void and when you have a void in your life you can frequently feel bored.
The effects of the body trying to repair itself after you have taken the drug combined with the gradual suppression of the nervous system can also lead to boredom. After all, every minor task can appear to be a huge effort when you feel as if you have just been run over by a truck. You can eventually reach a permanent state of tiredness and lethargy so you just can’t be bothered to do anything. If you have enough alcohol it will knock you out so I guess you are no longer bored but then you are no longer anything. Shooting yourself in the head would also knock you out and it would solve your boredom issues for life. The only way alcohol can relieve boredom is when you watch somebody who is drunk. You’re not bored then because you know anything can happen. Alcohol is incapable of relieving boredom as, once again, it helps to create it.
If we look closely at some of the apparently rational reasons that are given to justify alcohol intake, not only does alcohol fail to do what we think but it does exactly the opposite. Most of the reasons we give completely contradict one another: ‘It calms me down’ and ‘It livens me up.’ How can the same drug help to solve the opposite problem? It can’t, it is just another part of one of the cleverest con tricks ever devised.
… not only does alcohol fail to do what we think but it does exactly the opposite.
The truth is that alcohol does the opposite of what it appears to do. It causes mental and physical stress, mental and physical tension, mental and physical aggravation. It suppresses your nervous system, destroys your courage, undermines your confidence and keeps you a slave to the stuff.
; ‘Yes Jason,’ I hear you say, ‘but I do not drink to help relieve stress or help with my boredom. I am just a social drinker and you cannot escape the fact that even if alcohol doesn’t do anything else it is a tried and tested …’
Social Pastime
I can easily dispute the ‘fact’ that alcohol is sociable because it is far from a fact. I suppose you could say that it is a social pastime if you change the meaning slightly. A lot of ‘social time’ will literally pass you by when you are a slave to alcohol. To refer to alcohol as a ‘pass-time’ would be a more appropriate description. Just think of all the happy evenings, nights out, weddings, christenings, parties, the intelligent conversation, the dancing, games, banter and the days you have missed because of alcohol. I am not talking about the times you missed when you were physically present but your mind was blown. I’m talking about the times you miss because you have to exercise willpower, discipline and control because of the drug. Often I would choose not to go out if I knew I had an important task the following day. I knew that if I did I would end up drinking more than I wanted or that I would feel deprived all night because I wasn’t drinking, which would be just as bad, so I would stay in on my own.
The main problem with alcohol is that you are never yourself whether you are drinking or not. If you have to restrict your drinking because you are driving, for example, then you will not be yourself; you will feel miserable and deprived without that drink. However, if you drink, then you won’t be yourself either. This is because it numbs your senses. In order to feel any genuine emotion you need your senses. Alcohol also slurs your speech which, if I am not mistaken, is an extremely valuable aid to being sociable. The drug also takes away all reason and common sense. It makes you overemotional, loud and occasionally spiteful and hurtful. It can turn you into an obnoxious, annoying, slurring and argumentative person which is certainly not very sociable. Alcohol stupefies you but, more importantly, it removes those very important checkpoints between your brain and your mouth. You know the checkpoints I’m talking about; those that check your thoughts and stop unacceptable ones turning into speech. I shall repeat this for your own protection as well as everyone else’s. Alcohol removes those vital checkpoints. Consequently, no matter what comes into your head, no matter how obnoxious, rude, offensive or stupid, it ends up coming out of your mouth. You often end up talking complete and utter nonsense for hours on end; that is, of course, if the anaesthetic effect of the drug hasn’t caused you to pass out altogether which may be a relief all round. Passing out is a wonderful pass-time.
Alcohol removes those very important checkpoints between your brain and your mouth.
When I gave up alcohol I went to a lovely New Year’s Eve party. It was a black tie do with some very close friends. Everything was set for a good sociable evening: good company, good food, great atmosphere, great music and a good reason for celebration – New Year. Also there was free champagne all night though; when I say free, I mean financially free, as there is always a price to pay for drinking alcohol. The first part of the evening was taken up with people asking why I didn’t drink and I will cover this later as it warrants a chapter of its own. The drug alcohol (or champagne as it was specifically named that evening) helped to destroy the rest of the party for many people, many of whom, unsurprisingly, became very antisocial because of it. One person I know was slumped on the bar for most of the time and was actually asleep before Big Ben had chimed in the New Year. What exactly is sociable about that? Others were fine for the first couple of hours; they were talking, laughing, interacting and being sociable, as was I.
The reason most drinkers are apparently fine for the first hour or two is because our bodies are very clever survival machines. As we continue to drink alcohol week after week, our bodies think there is no choice but to take this poison. They will automatically build up an immunity and tolerance to ensure our survival. This means that we need more and more to get the same effect or illusion. This again is why our first ever alcoholic drink floored us and we now need a lot more in order to achieve the same result. The more of the drug we take, the more the body builds up an immunity to it and the greater the immunity and tolerance, the more of the drug is needed to achieve the same illusory effect.
So, at first, everybody was fine and sociable. Again, I must emphasise that it was not the drink that made them sociable. What made them sociable was being at the party and talking to people. I was being just as sociable without drinking alcohol because non-drinkers are just as gregarious. I watched this scenario continue for a little while but as soon as the alcohol started to really kick in, the inevitable began. It started off with ‘I f_ _ king love you!,’ then ‘I f_ _king love you, bastard!’ Then it just turned into ‘You bastard!’ In the end, what was meant to be the best party of the year turned into an occasion where people became argumentative, aggressive, obnoxious or spiteful. Others present were very overemotional, tearful or jealous. There were people falling over, collapsing on the floor, slumped over the bar and on tables. Others were literally being sick. The ones who managed to stay upright talked rubbish or danced (well kind of) and were not aware of the evening they experienced anyway as the real person was no longer there. They missed out on one of maybe only eighty or ninety New Year’s Eves they will ever experience in their lives. When asked the following day if they had had a good time, many said ‘I must have, I can’t remember a thing!’ If you can’t remember the evening, how on earth do you know if you had a good time?
The reality is that they were being sociable until the alcohol took effect but as soon as it did, they became antisocial. I was one of the only ones left standing and still wanting to dance at four in the morning. I wanted to be sociable but there was no one left to socialise with. Why? Because of the alcohol they had drunk. It is so obvious when you can see it objectively.
For years I was convinced that alcohol helped people to socialise, especially when they were meeting for the first time. I thought, ‘Top up their drinks as often as possible to get everybody talking and get over that awkward period.’ In reality, this doesn’t work as there is still that awkward period and people do not interact just because they have had a drink. If you are shy and inhibited, alcohol will not solve that problem any more than an ostrich putting its head in the sand will remove danger. On the contrary, it will release your inhibitions and stupefy you so the gulf between the real you and the drunken shy person becomes even wider. In the past I have been to parties where I have been drinking alcohol but remained in the same place all night talking to a small group of people I already knew. Isn’t that frequently the case? At social gatherings we tend to interact with the people we already know. Sometimes we talk to others, at a dinner party for example, but on the whole we usually head for people we are comfortable with and already know. Would I have been unsociable if I had been drinking something other than alcohol? Of course I wouldn’t. If I was stuck at home moping because I was off the drink or feeling miserable at a social gathering because I couldn’t drink for some reason then, yes, that would be antisocial. Again, it would have been the alcohol that caused these problems anyway as people who do not feel the need to drink do not experience them. If you do not feel mentally deprived, you will happily socialise, no matter what is going into your mouth.
There are non-drinkers who are very dull and boring, but then there are drinkers who are just as dull and boring. There will always be dull and boring people around as that is part of life and alcohol won’t help them socialise but will have just the opposite effect. It will ensure that they become loud, idiotic, abusive and display all the other unpleasant symptoms that go with drinking alcohol. In the end it will guarantee they end up even less popular than they were to start with. All drug addiction appears sociable … to the addict that is.
There is a park in Switzerland where heroin addicts are allowed to obtain heroin legally and shoot up. To them, the park is like a pub – the only legal heroin pub in the world. It is a way for addicts get their fix op
enly and at the same time socialise with other addicts. They go back to the same park day in day out. What would happen if they discovered that all of their friends were not going to the park that day – would they still go? Yes, of course they would. Not to be sociable but to get the drug. These addicts never go to the park for the atmosphere, the weather or the social life; they go for the drug. They feel better there than anywhere else, for everybody around them is doing the same thing. If there were only one pub where you could drink alcohol legally, you would go there, not to be sociable but simply to get your fix.
I have been into a pub by myself for a bit of peace and quiet on many occasions. I would get out my newspaper, have a drink and relax. I could have gone anywhere to do that, a library for example. It’s a lot quieter there but I did not choose to go there for the simple reason that they do not sell alcohol.
Heroin addicts think that using heroin is sociable. Crackheads think taking crack is sociable. Alcohol addicts think drinking alcohol is sociable. I used to have such double standards when I was taking alcohol, as do most drinkers. I would say that alcohol is pleasurable and sociable but if someone was taking the drug at a different time to me, in the morning for example, I would immediately judge them. Don’t the majority of drinkers do that? Don’t all drug addicts do that? I needed to judge. It was a way of proving that I wasn’t like them. In truth, it was simply a way of saying, ‘Look everyone, this person is out of control of their alcohol intake whereas I am in control.’ By pointing out what I believed to be their weakness, I was in fact trying to justify my own. It’s the same with people who procrastinate all the time. Their life becomes a mess, but if they see that you have put off one little thing, they will immediately pounce and condemn you for your procrastination. You and I know that if someone is drunk and you are sober, you hate it. You don’t think that they are being sociable, confident, courageous, jolly people. You think exactly the opposite of what the addict thinks. You think that they are being very unsociable, annoying and stupid and usually you can’t wait to get rid of them.