by Prenisha Aja
It was now the next morning and when I stretched my arms out and tried to move my neck, it hurt like hell. I felt like I had slept the wrong way and had a crook in my shit.
Struggling, I turned over to see that Spencer was gone. Thankful, I struggled as I got of the bed and went into the bathroom to handle my morning hygiene.
I was now fresh out the shower, with a cute pair of Neon green biker shorts on and a white shirt that had Hustle Hard written in black across it. I still had on my slides as I made my way to the kitchen to find me something to eat on.
When I reached the kitchen, I rolled my eyes at the flowers and note that Spencer had left on the counter. I swear, he had never mentioned it, but I felt like his ass was supposed to be on some type of medicine. The way he flipped the script was crazy to me.
Sighing, I didn’t bother reading the note that was filled with his sorry ass excuse about why he acted the way that he did, followed by he was sorry and he would never do it again.
Bypassing it all, I reached for a bowl and spoon and grabbed the box of Frosted Flakes and poured me up a bowl and went and had a seat in the living room.
As I ate my food, I began to miss my son. I hated that Sawyer had decided to keep him away from me, but how could I blame him? I didn’t trust Spencer either and even though I wanted Sai back home, I was going to wait until I got this shit under control with Spencer.
Pulling my phone out, I hit FaceTime and waited for Sawyer to answer.
“What’s good? I’m busy right now,” he answered, with the phone facing upwards towards the ceiling.
I could hear music playing in the background and I knew that meant he was most likely at the studio.
“I was just calling to talk to Sai. Just have him call me back. Please,” I said as I took a bite of my cereal.
“I got you and aye yo Kelia, you good?” he asked me, picking up the phone to look at me.
“Yeah, I’m straight.” I nodded and he tilted his head and examined me through the phone.
I could see that Sawyer was skeptical about my answer, but he gave me a head nod then hung up the phone.
I placed my phone down and finished eating my cereal. I was trying not to think about my life because I found myself getting depressed about it.
When I finished eating, I put my bowl in the sink and went and plopped back down on the sofa. I picked my phone up and saw that Spencer had texted me. I wasn’t feeling him right now, so I ignored his text. There was nothing that needed to be said. He had fucked up and unlike him, I wasn’t over it.
As I scrolled through my phone, I remembered ol’ dude. So, I shot him a text to see what he was up to and to get his name. Hell, I couldn’t even recall what he looked like because I was so deep in my own thoughts.
Hearing my phone go off, he had texted me back. We ended up texting each other for a good thirty minutes.
Somehow, throughout the conversation, we agreed to meet up. I was currently putting on my shoes.
I grabbed my keys, my purse and headed out the door. I wasn’t trying to do no foul shit or anything like that. I just wanted to chill, drink and vent, and Troy offered to be the listener.
13
Sawyer
“Drop that beat one more time,” I ordered Spiff.
Spiff and I had linked up in the industry a while ago. He had made a beat for me and that bitch was hitting. From that day forward, I knew that we would make a good team, and we had been making magic ever since.
We were currently in the studio working on my new album. I wanted to have it ready, so that I could release it in October. I had some months to get it perfect.
“That hoe go hard.” Luca bobbed his head to the beat.
“Hell yeah,” I agreed, placing the blunt to my lips as I listened to it.
Luca, Grey, and Spiff and I were in the studio right now putting in work. Unlike that peon ass nigga that Kelia was fucking with, we grinded hard. I already knew what type of nigga he was. He was looking for a handout. He wanted me to put him on and I was never that friendly.
If you didn’t get it out the mud with me, there was no eating at the table with me. I took care of my team. I took care of my family and everyone around me, and I knew that made niggas mad. It caused them to hate and envy some shit that I had to put blood, sweat, and tears into.
Niggas only saw the good. They saw the jewelry, the sold-out shows, the nice clothes and cars and shit. But they didn’t know the struggle that came behind it. They didn’t know the days I went without sleep, food and showers.
The days that hustling on the streets was only putting enough money in my pocket for studio time. I didn’t even have money to spare for a fucking pack of noodles. That’s how deep the struggle was for me, which was why I cherished this shit and continued to put in the hard work.
I also would never let some insecure ass nigga piggy back off of me.
“The hood is going to love this one. Niggas really gon’ be mad.” Grey took a sip from his drink as he bobbed his head slowly to the beat.
“Fuck them hating ass niggas.” I took one long hit from the blunt.
I tilted my head to the ceiling, releasing the smoke with my eyes closed.
“Dawg, you really think it was that nigga Kelia fuck with that shot at you?” Luca sat up and asked once the song was done playing.
“I know for a fact it was. I’m just making sure I play my cards right,” I replied.
I knew it was that weak ass nigga. When he answered Kelia’s phone, I could hear the envy laced in his voice. I had been around enough hating ass people. I could dissect their asses and read them like a book. I knew Spencer was hatin’, big cappin’, but in actuality, he ain’t have shit.
Also, any nigga that could put their hands on a female was a bitch and was weak. He could play hard in the streets and on his side of town, but I knew what the real was.
“You don’t think Kelia in on that shit?” Luca raised an eyebrow which caused everyone to look at me, waiting for my answer.
Did I think Kelia had something to do with any of it? No. I knew Kelia and I trusted her, despite us not being able to be together. I just didn’t know how she ended up with such a nobody.
“Nah, Kelia might do dumb ass shit, but she isn’t that type of broad,” I answered.
However, that question lingered in the back of my mind.
“Well, we still gon’ keep our eyes open. But what’s up with you and my boo?” Luca rubbed his hands together and smirked.
I already knew he was talking about Brynlee. I had told her that I was going to take her out but never said when.
“None of yo’ damn business. Matter fact, I need to get up out of here.” I rose to my feet, leaned over and put the blunt out and took the rest of my drink to the head.
“Damn, where the fuck you goin?” Grey questioned.
“To mind my business. But nah, I had told Brynlee I was going to take her out. Make up for her getting shot at and shit,” I expressed.
“Oh, you trying to get in good, good.” Luca laughed. “So you can get that good, good.” He winked and I chuckled.
“Nigga chill. How about you worry about you and yours and let me worry about her.”
“Shit, this nigga already possessive over her thick, fine ass,” Luca commented, and everybody laughed.
I shook my head and walked out of the doors and out to my car.
“Ok, Mom. I got it. Simon has a game and you want me to make sure I don’t miss it,” my mother reminded me of my little brother’s game.
He had left and went off to college. He had gotten himself a scholarship and I couldn’t be prouder. Shit, I was proud he didn’t follow in my damn footsteps. It was actually crazy because he was so different than me, which I thanked God plenty of nights for that. That was one thing that I never wanted, for my brother to be out running the streets. Especially because I had left that shit alone. At least I tried to, but you know how sometimes your hood pulled you back in and you had to bring that bad boy side
back out of you and show people not to fuck with you.
“Alright Sawyer, I don’t want to hear you say you can’t go because you got a damn show,” she fussed as she folded clothes.
“I ain’t gon’ miss it Ma. Where is Sai’, how about that?” I asked her.
I had stopped by to spend some time with him and let him call his mother, but he wasn’t here.
“Your father took him to that damn mouse place. What’s that place that has that big ass rat running around?” My mom stopped folding a shirt and looked up at me.
“Chuck E. Cheese Ma.” I laughed because this woman was crazy.
“Yeah, that’s where they went,” she continued.
I sat there a little longer and chopped it up with my mother as I texted Brynlee, letting her know that she needed to be ready at eight o’clock.
It was funny because she tried to bullshit me and tell me she wasn’t in the mood to go, but I didn’t want to hear that shit.
“Aite Mom, I’m out. Make sure you have Sai’ call me when he gets here since Pops wants to have him out all damn day.”
“Alright, and stop all that damn cursing boy,” she fussed as she placed the folded clothes in a white basket and carried them to her room.
I left out her house and headed home, so that I could get ready for my and Brynlee’s fine ass date night.
It was now seven o’clock on the dot and I had just finished getting ready. I grabbed my cologne and sprayed it a good three times and sat it back down on my dresser.
Deciding to wear a white button-down shirt, I rolled the sleeves up and folded the collar down. I had chosen to leave the first three buttons unbuttoned, exposing my chest and gold chains.
I complemented my wrist with a gold Rolex. I had on a pair of blue jean pants and a nice Hermes belt. On my feet were a pair of ice white Nike’s. I wasn’t into the whole loafer thing yet. Even when I had business meetings my ass hadn’t grasped the whole suit and tie thing yet. So, they would get a button-down, a pair of slacks and I still wore Jordan’s on my feet. I needed to get out of that, but I was still stuck in my ways. I felt like a square with a suit and loafers on my feet.
Checking myself over in the mirror, I ran my hands over my thick waves and fingered through my beard. I was now ready to head out.
I had placed reservations at this nice lil’ joint. I grabbed my keys and went out of the side door that placed me right inside of my garage.
I had decided I wanted to drive something a little different tonight. I was on my romantic shit and I planned on showing Brynlee a good time, and show her that bad shit didn’t always happen when she was around me. Maybe the third time with us being around each other would be our lucky night together because so far, shit hadn’t gone so well.
The first time, Kelia’s ass was on her dumb shit and the second time, there was a shootout. I could only hope the third time didn’t involve any drama.
I was now pulling up to her parents’ house. A part of me wondered why she still lived with them, because she didn’t strike me as the type. I felt like she was more of a woman to have her own business or some shit like that.
Before stepping out of my car, I reached behind me and grabbed the flowers out of the back seat. I made sure to stop by the lil’ flower shop and picked them up. In my mind, no nigga should pull up and be empty-handed when he was taking a woman out on a date.
Getting out to the car, I walked up to the front door. I knocked on the front door then ran my hands down my shirt, cleared my throat and prepared myself for whomever was going to answer it.
Opening the door with the biggest smile on her ageless face, stood Brynlee’s mom Janice. She was very pretty, however, Brynlee didn’t too much look like her. Brynlee had this caramel skin tone, but her mother was a little darker. The only thing they had alike was their short height.
“How you doing Mrs. Janice, is Brynlee ready?” I flashed her a smile. I also pulled a rose from the bouquet that I had gotten Brynlee and gave her one.
Just like the rest of the women that I had run into, they all became putty in my hands, including Mrs. Janice. Well, with the exception of Brynlee.
“She’s still getting ready. Come on in.” She moved to the side and invited me in.
“Who is that honey?” a deep voice echoed from the back of the house.
“Brynlee’s date,” Mrs. Janice answered as she sat down across from me on the other sofa.
Moments later, a light brown skin male had appeared from the back of the house. I already knew it was Brynlee’s dad because she looked just like that nigga.
When he approached me, I stood up and shook his hand. He grilled me a little before speaking, “I know you. You that lil’ rapping nigga.”
“Uhm, I guess so.”
“I heard about you. I’m Sergeant Millz.” He gripped my hand tighter.
“Make sure you treat her good. I would hate to but an APB out on you.” He gave me a serious expression, but I wasn’t worried about him.
Brynlee had just made her way down the stairs and she was looking fine as fuck. She had grabbed my attention and I had totally tuned her police ass father out.
Her long legs were on display, looking like she had rolled herself in some type of oil. Her face was neatly made up and her hair flowed loosely.
Damn, this woman is fine, I thought to myself.
“Dad, please tell me you ain’t try to threaten him. Mom, is he being nice?” she pouted as she closed the latch on her purse and walked over to where we stood.
“Oh, I ain’t worried about yo’ father. Believe that,” I spoke up, handing her the flowers and pulling her closer towards me.
“Hello to you too.” She giggled.
Clearing his throat, her father stared at us, so she shyly pulled away from me and just like a little girl, she began to blush.
“Your father is being a cock blocker.” Her mother stood up and laughed.
“Janice!” her father called out, but Janice ignored him.
“You look really pretty baby. Go enjoy your night.” She fixed Brynlee’s hair and kissed her on the cheek.
“Thanks Mom, and bye Dad.” She kissed her father on the cheek as well which caused him to loosen up a little bit and give her a faint smile.
“Be safe baby girl and enjoy yourself,” he told her before we walked to the front door.
As we walked out to the car, Brynlee’s phone began to ring. She dug it out of her little black purse and when she looked down at it, her whole body language changed.
“You good?” I asked her as I opened up the car door for her.
“Yeah.” She sighed, flipping her hair out of face and getting in the car.
I knew Brynlee wasn’t being honest with me, but it was cool. Hopefully by tonight, whatever was troubling her wouldn’t even matter because she had such an amazing time with me.
14
Brynlee
As I sat in the passenger’s seat of Sawyer’s drop-top, silver convertible, as the wind blew through my long extensions, I couldn’t even focus on the moment.
My mind was on my vibrating phone that was away in my purse. For the last few days Troy had been blowing up my line. He wanted me back and for a split second, I had debated on going back. But what good, if any, would that do?
The only thing that would occur was more fighting. Neither one of us was healed. We still held all those miscarriages I had over each other’s head.
“Say, you good over there?” Sawyer turned down the radio, licked his full lips and glared over at me, as he smoothly cruised through the downtown streets of Houston.
“I’m good, I promise.” I forced a smile and looked towards him.
I had yet to take in his appearance until now. I knew he was good looking but tonight, he was fine as fuck. I had been so distracted.
His white button-down looked so good on him as it hugged his muscular arms. His thick beard that decorated his brown skin was so pleasing to the eye. He, of course, was dripped in his gold jewelry but
nothing over the top. He looked good enough to eat and I knew it would be hard to keep us in just the friend zone, because I didn’t want to move too fast.
Damn, I thought as his scent slithered up my nose and sent a chill down my spine as if it was a winter night.
“You look like you got a lot on your mind. Talk to me. I heard I’m a great listener.” He winked, and I melted on the inside.
As crazy as it seemed, Sawyer was a breath of fresh air. He was everything I had tried to run from, however, being home was my peace. It brought me sanity and eased the pain that I had been struck with while living in New York.
Signing, I tucked my flying hair behind my ears, closed my eyes then focused on the images in front of me.
“It’s deep, huh?” he questioned, as he bust a right and began to slow down as he approached a red light.
“Something like that,” I mumbled.
“So, tell me about it,” he replied as he pulled into the parking lot of a nice restaurant that I had never been to before.
While sitting in the parking lot, I laid it all out there. I expressed to him about my miscarriages, the fight Troy and I had and just how our love dwindled along the years. I didn’t keep anything from him because I didn’t find the need to do so.
The more I talked about it, the more my eyes burned before the tears fell.
No matter how much I talked about this, I still felt like it was an emotional topic.
“Say, I don’t go to church and all that type of shit, but God sometimes don’t give you what you truly desire because you ain’t ready yet. It don’t be ya time,” he expressed.
“No lie. I always rapped and shit, but I was also heavy in the streets. God told my ass pick one. The streets or your career. And of course, I picked my career. The only reason why I had to result to the streets was because my people didn’t have money like that. I needed to eat, I needed to invest in myself, and I did. And God blessed me, right on time. Maybe that weak ass nigga just wasn’t the one for ya. Maybe a bad boy is supposed to really have yo’ heart.” He winked at me.