by Paris Hansen
“Well, Gary, I prefer Andi. No one calls me Andrea...ever,” she said with a slight growl. “As far as age goes, I’m thirty-six.”
“Crap. You’re too old then, Andrea. Mother would never approve of someone who’s got geriatric eggs. We need babies.”
Andi nearly choked on the remainder of the wine in her glass. What in the actual fuck? Where the hell did Veronica find the men she’d picked for this event? She most definitely wanted bad lines guy back. Gary was starting to creep her the fuck out.
“Mother would hate that you drink so much too. That wouldn't be good at all.”
After the third mention of his mother, Andi knew she couldn’t move on without more wine. Excusing herself, she left her table and headed over to the bar. Gary tried to protest, but then said it was probably for the best since his mother would never approve of her. As the bartender refilled her glass, she watched Gary type frantically into his phone.
Two duds down, ten more to go. It was going to be a long-ass hour as she weeded through the options. As the buzzer went off, she waited until Gary left her table before hurrying back. She arrived at the same time as her next date. He was kind enough but boring as hell. In their five minutes together, she learned his name was Patrick, named after the great Pat Sajak, and that was it. The man barely talked and never seemed to look directly at her.
By the time five more guys came and went, Andi was ready to run screaming from the building. She’d had to stop drinking because she was starting to get tipsy, but that only seemed to make things worse. The guys were nearly unbearable. One was a total jerk that had to hold a position of power in the Misogynistic Assholes Club. Another seemed to have a creepy fetish about armpits, although she couldn’t be entirely sure since she excused herself to use the ladies room when he asked to see hers.
The other three were of the boring variety, which was a lot easier to handle than the creeps and assholes. With the boring guys, she could just sit there and think about other things. None of them were outgoing enough to make eye contact with her or even look at her, so she didn’t have to worry about them trying to picture her naked.
She was down to the final four and Andi had a feeling it was going to be the longest twenty minutes of her life, but she knew she could make it. At least she’d have great stories to tell her friends when they had their next girl’s night although she wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t have to wait that long to tell them. She half expected to find a couple of them waiting in the restaurant for her when the whole thing was over, they’d all been so eager to hear about her night.
The next guy to sit down at her table was pretty good looking which gave him more potential out of the gate than her previous dates. Not that she was in it for looks, but physical attraction did help move things along. Unless the good looking guy turned out to be a total asshat, then looks meant nothing. With any luck, the guy sitting in front of her wouldn’t be one of those guys.
“Hi, I’m Jeremy.”
Jeremy turned out to not only be cute, but funny and charming as well. As their time wound down, Andi was actually feeling hopeful. It only took most of the night, but she finally had a possible name to write down on her card at the end of the evening.
“I hope you’re going to write my name down, Andi. I plan on writing yours down.”
She smiled over at him, wondering if he could read her mind. She started to respond when a commotion near the entrance drew her attention away from her date. A striking brunette was stalking toward her table, yelling out her dates name as she approached.
“Jeremy. What the fuck are you doing here? Speed dating? Seriously? Why can’t you just pick up a chick on Tinder like the rest of the world’s cheating asshole husbands? You sign up for speed dating and try duping a whole group of women instead. You’re such an asshole.”
“Holy shit, you’re married?” Andi asked as she looked back at Jeremy who seemed to be sinking lower in his chair by the second. “Oh my god. How the hell is this even happening?”
“I’m sorry. I meant everything I said, Andi. You seem really great…”
“Oh fuck off, dude. Seriously? Your wife is standing right here.”
The brunette continued to yell at Jeremy all while the rest of the attendees watched. The buzzer had gone off, barely noticed by anyone else while the show was going on. Andi wanted to use the distraction to run from the room, but since it was happening at her table, she was kind of stuck.
“Oh my gosh, what is going on here?” Veronica asked as she finally made her way through the crowd.
Andi looked over at the blonde, who seemed extremely upset by the turn of events and gave her the cliff notes version. She knew Kerrigan was going to be pissed when she heard about what happened. Her friend took great pride in being the best matchmaking service in the Seattle area. Anything less than perfection was unacceptable, and a scene like this could end up being embarrassing for her brand. Andi felt a little guilty being a part of it.
“Seems your screening process missed the fact that this one’s married.”
“That’s impossible.”
“Is it? Cause it sure and the hell sounds like he’s married.”
“Oh fuck. How could this have happened? Kerrigan’s going to lose it when she finds out,” Veronica muttered as she turned and walked over to the bar.
Andi waited for the other woman to break up the fight that was still happening in front of her, but Veronica seemed to be having some kind of mental breakdown. She was probably worried about losing her job, which she really couldn’t blame her for. The entire speed dating thing had been a shit show. There was no way they could finish things up now that they’d been interrupted.
As Andi looked around the room, she realized finishing didn’t seem to matter to anyone else. The other attendees were pairing up, chatting with each other like they were actually on a date. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves but her. Grabbing her purse, she took one last look at Jeremy and his wife, then made a beeline for the exit. She’d almost interrupted their arguing so she could thank them for putting her out of her misery.
Once in the dining room proper of Arrow, she looked over to the bar to see if any of her friends were there. When she didn’t see anyone that wasn’t a member of the staff, she took that as a sign to get the hell out of dodge. She was eager to get home and wash off the desperation that had soaked through her clothes. As she got into her car, she sighed, not looking forward to being stuck with her thoughts for the twenty-five minute drive back home to Issaquah.
Not for the first time, she wished she lived in West Seattle again. It would make life a bit easier, not having to commute to work or to see her friends. Maybe instead of dating, she should think about making a different change in her life. Her niece would be leaving for college soon and she’d no longer have a reason to share a home with her brother.
All thoughts of her disastrous evening were pushed from her brain as she thought about the possibilities that would come with having a home of her own. Maybe something good would come out of her evening after all.
✽✽✽
Andi - Five Months Later
Everything was changing. Her life seemed to be spinning out of control and Andi had no idea how to get it to slow down. It wasn’t that the change was bad; in fact, it was the best damn thing to happen to her family in a long time. She was pretty damn ecstatic about everything, but that didn’t make things any easier for her. Especially since she’d been forced to take a long, hard look at her life and what she’d seen made her cringe.
At some point in the last eighteen years, Andi had stopped living. She’d become complacent. Going through the motions, taking care of her family’s wine distribution business, and her brother and her niece, but not herself. She occasionally hung out with friends, but she hadn’t had sex in over five years, having given up putting in the effort to even find a casual hook-up when it started feeling like too much work.
At first, it had all made sense. She had to help h
er brother take care of her niece. That’s what family was for, after all. Especially after their parents practically disowned Declan for “ruining his future”. She put her life on hold to help raise her niece and Andi didn’t regret that for a second. When she was really little, Erin had needed her, but as she got older, Andi could have had a life of her own. She could have gone after what she’d always wanted.
But she didn’t. Not really, anyway. Instead, she stuck with what she knew. She rolled with what was comfortable. For too long she stood around and watched life pass her by.
She couldn’t blame it all on wanting to be there for her brother though. Andi knew it was more than that. She just wasn’t ready to explore the more profound meaning yet. So rather than delve into all the shit in her head, she opted to let her friends push her out of her comfort zone. Now that her brother had found love and was moving on with his life and Erin was off to college, Andi knew it was time to take her life off of pause.
The first thing she tried to change was her lack of a love life. Taking part in her friend Kerrigan’s first speed dating event had been a total bust. Truthfully, It had been a full-fledged disaster. But ultimately, it had given her the push to make the change she really needed to make. Suddenly, it had become clear that to have a life of her own she needed a home of her own.
For the entire thirty-six years of her life, she’d shared a home with her twin brother. Half of that time, she lived with him under their parent's roof, but as soon as they’d graduated high school, they’d bought a house together. For eighteen years, she went through the motions, taking care of her niece, living a solitary life because her brother was.
Finding her own place turned out to be easier than she thought. Even breaking the news to Declan had been easy. Of course, it felt weird once she was living on her own. Thankfully her new condo wasn’t far from where her brother was living at Brooklyn’s house which gave her some comfort.
Now that she was on her own, she knew she had to give dating a shot again even though the idea made her nauseous. It started with letting her friend Stacy set her up on a blind date with her brother-in-law. Tony was a nice guy, but he wasn’t her type. Aside from that, Andi was pretty sure Tony was gay, but not ready to admit it to himself or others. He’d checked out their waiter’s ass more times than he’d looked at her boobs. Usually, she would’ve been happy not to be ogled, but they were on a date, and she expected it to happen at least once. Her boobs were just of no interest to Tony at least not the way their waiter’s ass was.
Then Stacy and their friend Brandy had decided to drag her out to random bars on Friday nights so she could hopefully meet a guy. Andi tried telling them that meeting a guy at a bar was the last thing she wanted, but they wouldn’t take no for an answer.
For a month, she was forced to spend her Friday nights dealing with the meat market otherwise known as the Seattle nightlife. Nothing was appealing about the men she met. Most were sleazy, some far too young for her and others far too old, but all of them sleazy nonetheless. None of them were looking for more than a hook-up, which would have been fine ten years ago, but wasn’t what she was looking for now that she was on the downhill slide to forty.
Thankfully, Stacy and Brandy gave up after the month from hell. They both had men of their own and decided to spend more time with them then with their dating-challenged friend. Andi wasn’t ready to give up though. She just knew herself well enough to know that what her friends were trying wasn’t going to work for her. So instead she went to an expert to find out when she could get a do-over on speed dating, even though she still wasn’t sold on the idea.
“I really am sorry about the first time around, Andi. I know I keep saying it every time we see each other, but I still feel terrible,” Kerrigan admitted as she took a seat on the barstool next to the island in Andi’s kitchen. “I promise things will be different next time. I dropped the ball and let someone else plan things since I was so wrapped up in planning my wedding and then taking time off for my honeymoon. I should have warned you.”
Andi shook her head as she leaned against the counter, a nearly empty wine glass in her hand. “You had no way of knowing that things weren’t going to work out. And I one hundred percent don’t blame you for focusing on you. You’re one of the hardest working people I know. You deserved the wedding of your dreams and to take some time off to enjoy your new husband.”
“It’s not that it didn’t work out. Our first attempt at speed dating was a catastrophe. We’ll be lucky if we can get any sign-ups for the next one.”
“Aside from the obvious, it wasn’t that bad. It was pretty much exactly what I expected. Men with mommy issues and ones who still lived with their mommies. And of course the lecherous jerks.”
Kerrigan sighed and ran a hand over her perfectly styled auburn hair. “That’s exactly the problem. That is not our usual clientele. Anyone who showed up expecting Finding Love’s usual standards was probably pissed. And the outburst? There’s no telling how many people heard about that and now associate that crap with my company.”
Andi tried not to laugh at how dramatic her friend was being. The speed dating event back in May hadn't been nearly as terrible as Kerrigan was making it out to be. Sure there were a lot of guys there that Andi wouldn’t have given the time of day to on a normal day, but she had a feeling she was a hell of a lot pickier than the other women at the event.
“I don’t think anyone left pissed off, well maybe Jeremy and his wife,” Andi said with a shrug. “A lot of people seemed to pair off and make connections. The guys there just didn’t turn out to be for me.”
“I can’t believe they aren’t even married. All that bullshit and it wasn’t even true; just some game they like to play. They could have ruined my reputation with that crap. I was beyond pissed when I found out. They made us look stupid for their amusement. Who does that?”
“Assholes,” Andi joked before switching to serious advice mode. “I think you’re harder on yourself than you need to be. Make the changes you want to make and do it again in the style you think your normal clients would expect. Just don’t make it too stuffy or impersonal. I know you love your questionnaires and your rules, but even I know love doesn’t give a shit about any of that.”
“For someone who hasn’t been in a relationship in forever, you sure seem to know what you’re talking about.”
“I’ve been standing here watching everyone around me fall in love. It’s hard not to figure a few things out along the way.”
“Makes me wonder then why you’re ignoring the universe and trying out speed dating instead of going after what’s right in front of you,” Kerrigan said with a knowing smile.
Andi shook her head again. “We’re not talking about that. Just let me know when you get things figured out so I can sign up again.”
Kerrigan held her hands up, a smile on her face that told Andi she’d stop talking about it, but she wouldn’t let it go. If Andi was a betting woman, she’d bet the minute Kerrigan left her apartment she was going to be on the phone to Brooklyn, the woman Andi’s brother was head over heels in love with who also happened to be Kerrigan’s best friend. The two of them would spend the entire phone call talking about Andi and the man she was trying desperately to forget.
“We should have a new plan put together in about a month. Veronica thought it would be fun to do a Halloween version of speed dating, but I threw that idea out immediately. We’re thinking the first Saturday in November, the weekend before Oliver and Meghan’s party,” Kerrigan paused, a smile lighting up her face. “Hey, maybe you’ll meet someone to take with you.”
“Yeah, that might be a bit too quick of a turnaround for me. Meeting the guy one week, then introducing him to my friends and family the next. Definitely not going to happen.”
“I get it. We were talking about pushing it back until after the holidays since there are a few people on my staff who think dating right before the holidays can be tricky. What if people hit it off, then they have to
navigate through holiday protocol, and it can get awkward. I don’t want to wait that long to clear the company’s name from the first fiasco, though. We’ll let other people worry about the dating during the holidays thing.”
Andi let her friend continue to ramble on about the pros and cons of dating around the holidays. Considering this would be the first year it wouldn’t be just her, Declan, and Erin for the holidays, she was all for finding a potential match before then. It’s not that she didn’t love Brooklyn or that she wasn’t excited that her brother finally had someone else in his life. It was that she was starting to feel like a third wheel in every aspect of her world. Everyone was paired up. Everyone had someone to rely on, someone who needed them in return. Everyone she knew had someone to love except her, and she felt like she was missing out.
Until recently, Andi had been perfectly fine being on her own. At least that’s what she kept telling herself. In reality, she wanted what Declan had. She’d always wanted it. At one point in time, she thought she was going to have the husband, the kids, the picket fence and the whole nine yards, but fate had something else planned for her.
Andi wouldn’t take back the choice she made eighteen years ago. She loved Erin more than anything. Helping raise her was the highlight of Andi’s life so far. It meant a lot to her to be able to help her brother when he needed it the most especially since their parents abandoned him in his time of need.
“I’m excited to help you meet someone. You deserve to have a life of your own finally. Moving into this apartment was a great first step. Getting out there to meet people and start dating will be a great second step.”
Andi looked around at the space she now called hers. It was weird having a place all to herself. After spending her entire life close to her brother, being on her own was a shock to her system. She still expected to hear her brother getting up at the crack of dawn to get ready for work or to hear Erin coming home just before curfew. Now the only noises she heard were her own mixed with the occasional closing of her neighbor’s door.