by Paris Hansen
As a wave of longing swept over her, she let her gaze wander through the room. She tried to tell herself she wasn’t looking for anyone in particular, but she knew that was a lie. There was always one person in the room that she was drawn to and it had been that way for over half her life. She wasn’t surprised to find him surrounded by a group of people, his head thrown back as he laughed at something someone said.
Standing close to him was Meghan’s friend Sylvia, a woman Andi didn’t know well but had heard about from the others. Her chest ached as Sylvia placed a hand on Braeden’s arm. The familiarity between them evident in the small gesture. Andi didn’t know the details, and she didn’t want to know them, but she’d heard through their friend grapevine that Braeden and Sylvia had hooked up once upon a time.
It shouldn’t bother her that they’d been together. Andi knew Sylvia wasn’t the only one over the last eighteen years. It wasn’t like she’d lived a life of sainthood over the years either, but none of them were a part of their circle, not even loosely. Knowing she’d probably have to see them together, even if they were no longer hooking up, was still a bit painful. Of course, she couldn’t tell anyone how she felt because their entire situation was royally fucked up.
Hell, it was fucked up thinking about Braeden at all given the text messages she’d been receiving most of the night and over the last week. Although they weren’t officially dating or anything, she was having a great time talking to Matthew since the speed dating event. He’d texted her seconds after they received their matches from Kerrigan’s team. His eagerness was endearing and his interest in her made her feel something she hadn’t felt in a very long time.
“We need to get your ass on the dance floor.”
Andi’s thoughts were interrupted by a rather boisterous Meghan as she took a seat in the chair next to her. Savannah and Kerrigan quickly joined her. All of them were without their men which was a rare sight.
“Yeah, come on Andi. You should join us out there instead of sitting over here all alone. What the heck are you looking at anyway?” Kerrigan asked.
The three women turned so they could see what was in Andi’s line of sight. Unfortunately, she was too slow to realize what they were doing, so there was no way she could deny what they saw right in front of them.
“Well, that explains things. You know there was never anything between them, right?” Meghan said as she turned back around to face Andi.
“Wait, seriously? I thought they hooked up,” Savannah said practically taking the words right out of Andi’s head.
“Not for lack of trying on Sylvia’s part. They kissed a bit, but that was as far as it went. He said he couldn’t go through with it and took her home.”
“You’re joking, right? Then why have both of them let us believe otherwise?”
Savannah really needed to get out of Andi’s head. Then again, she was saving Andi from having to ask any of the questions that were burning on her tongue.
“You know he hates it when I tell you guys his secrets, but he’ll forgive me. Braeden has a plan, and he’s had one for a while. Letting people believe what they want to believe has made it so no one is asking questions he’s not ready to answer yet. He’s maintaining a reputation without actually having to do something he no longer has an interest in doing. Does that make sense?”
Kerrigan looked confused, while Savannah seemed thoughtful, but Andi had no idea what to think. What Meghan said made sense, but she had no idea what it meant. Before anyone could say anything else, they were interrupted by the ping and vibration of Andi’s phone as she received a text. She tried to fight back a smile, but couldn’t.
“Oh...what is this? Andi’s smiling before she’s even seen who just sent her a message. Is it from a boy?” Meghan asked as she waggled her eyebrows.
Savannah and Kerrigan both piped up with an immature “oooooh” as Meghan reached out for the phone and swiped it off of the table.
“So Andi, who’s Matthew and what exactly is he looking forward to?”
✽✽✽
Braeden
Usually, the smell of doughnuts made him happy, but as he carried the box of delicious goodness up to Declan’s door, Braeden felt like he was going to throw up. Only once in his life had he ever been as nervous as he was in that moment. Of course, that time didn’t work out in his favor, so Braeden was hoping today wasn’t going to be a repeat of that experience.
What happened in the next hour was going to determine his future. He needed Declan to be on board with his plans for Andi. While he’d go after her even if Declan said no, he knew it would be an uphill battle. He also knew that without her brother’s blessing there was a chance Andi wouldn’t want to get back together. What little family she had meant the world to her, their opinions were important.
Shuffling the box of doughnuts onto one hand, he knocked on the door. As each second passed the butterflies in his stomach became more aggressive.
“This is ridiculous,” he muttered just as the door swung open.
“Nice to see you too,” Declan said his lips curving up in a smile.
“Sorry, I wasn’t talking about you or anything, I just…”
“You just talk to yourself now. It’s cool. We all had a feeling you were starting to lose your mind. Good to know we weren’t wrong,” Declan said as he tried to keep a straight face, but failed. “Come on in, man. My girl has been talking about doughnuts non-stop since you mentioned them last night.”
“I have not,” Brooklyn yelled from inside the house.
Braeden laughed as he walked through the front door. He held the box of doughnuts out in front of him expecting to be pounced on as soon as he got inside. He walked through the sunken living room into the kitchen where he found Brooklyn making coffee. Setting the doughnuts on the island, he walked over to her and gave her a side hug as she handed him a cup of coffee.
“You are most definitely my favorite,” he said as he took a sip of the scalding hot liquid.
She laughed and swatted at his arm before pushing him out of the way so she could get to the doughnuts. Pulling out a maple bar and taking a bite, she moaned as she leaned a hip against the island.
“How did you know the twins were craving a maple bar?” she asked between bites.
“Maybe because I know their mom loves maple bars. I made sure that at least half of the box was your favorite since you made this happen,” Braeden said with a wink.
“Quit flirting with Brooklyn. I don’t want to have to hurt you.”
Braeden shook his head as he laughed and held up his hands in surrender. “I promise, I’m not flirting. I was thanking her for allowing me to come over this morning.”
“Yeah, she didn’t give me much of a choice in the matter, but you’ve made up for that with the doughnuts,” Declan said as he pulled a glazed old-fashioned out of the box. “So what did you want to talk about.”
“And on that note, I’m gonna grab another doughnut and leave you two alone. I’ll be upstairs reading if you need me.”
Braeden watched Brooklyn as she hurried out of the room as fast as her body would let her. Part of him wanted to beg her to stay, but he knew he needed to talk to Declan one on one. He couldn’t use Brooklyn as a buffer no matter how badly he wanted to. Declan needed the freedom to rage at him, to hit him if he felt like it. He wouldn’t do either of those things if his pregnant girlfriend was in the room.
“Let’s go sit in the living room. The game’s about to start.”
Braeden grabbed his coffee and a doughnut from the box and followed Declan back into the living room. Declan took up residence in his favorite recliner while Braeden sat down on the couch. He recognized most of the furniture from Declan’s old house in Issaquah, but some of it was distinctly Brooklyn. Setting his coffee and doughnut on the table, he took a deep breath. His heart pounding in his chest, his stomach flip-flopping as he thought about what he was going to say. It was do or die time.
“I’m in love with your sister,” he
blurted out before his brain could stop his mouth.
The sound of his blood whooshed in his ears as he waited for Declan to react. The game was on low in the background, if not for that, Braeden was sure he’d have heard crickets in the room. He watched his former best friend and wondered what was going through his head.
“I’m sorry...can you repeat that please?”
Fuck, Braeden thought as he let out a sigh. He had no idea why Declan was making him repeat himself, but he would do it. He’d do just about anything to get through the conversation so he could go see Andi.
“I’m in love with your sister.”
His gaze met Declan’s as he once again waited for the other man to acknowledge his confession. When he still didn’t say anything, Braeden felt himself start to word vomit to break the uncomfortable silence.
“Look, man, I’ve been in love with your sister since I was thirteen years old. I’m tired of waiting to be with her. I want your blessing for us to be together. This is a long time coming. She’s the one for me, and I needed you to know.”
“Does she know?” Declan asked.
He’d always been a man of few words. That became even more obvious after Erin was born. Now it was driving Braeden crazy because he needed the man to fucking talk.
“She’s well acquainted with my feelings, although not so much recently but I plan on changing that. We’ve had a lot of ups and downs over the years, and some of them had to do with you. I want to make everything right, which is why I’m starting here like I should have when we were sixteen.”
“What are you talking about?”
Running a hand through his hair, Braeden looked down at his lap as he pulled up the courage to give up the secrets of his past.
“Andi and I started dating when we were sixteen. We kept it a secret from everyone because we were afraid of how you’d react. No one seemed to notice us anyway, so it wasn’t that hard to keep it from you. I bought her a ring, Declan. I was going to propose on graduation day.”
More crickets.
The man was driving him crazy. He’d almost prefer it if Declan got up and hit him. It would make things a little easier. He could work with an ass kicking. This complete and utter silence bullshit was something he couldn’t handle.
“What happened?” Declan asked, still refraining from showing any emotion whatsoever. Braeden wanted to shake him and yell at him to react. Instead, he continued his story.
“You did,” he said pointedly. “Andi chose you and Erin over me…over us. We had plans for a future together, but she threw them all away so she could be there for you. After that, I slowly pushed you away because I was bitter and hateful. When she broke my heart a second time after my dad died, I became an asshole to you both. I couldn’t be around her without remembering what she did to me, and I couldn’t be around you remembering that you were responsible for the pain in the first place.”
Braeden watched him, waiting once again for Declan to respond. His hands were fisted in his lap, his gaze locked on them like he wasn’t sure what to do with them. Tension filled the air, although if Braeden thought about it, all of it was coming from him. He didn’t know what to expect. He still waited for the moment that Declan was going to come after him for breaking the unspoken bro code.
“Shit, Braeden. I don’t even know what to say.”
“I’ve waited eighteen years for a second chance with Andi. Erin’s off at college. You’re starting a family with Brooklyn. It’s time for your sister to have her own life and I’m hoping like hell she’ll remember the promises we made each other over the years and take this leap with me.”
“You know she just started seeing someone right? A guy she met speed dating last week, they have their first date tonight.”
“Fuck!” Braeden yelled as the news punched him in the gut.
“It’s just a first date. It doesn’t mean you’ve lost your shot.”
Braeden sighed, running his hand through his hair again, sure that he looked like a disheveled mess. The last thing he’d expected to hear was that Andi had a date that evening. It probably seemed like an easy hurdle to get over to Declan, but he didn’t understand everything that was between Braeden and his sister.
“No, but it means the battle just got a hell of a lot harder. Now I’m not just fighting against our past. I’m fighting against something bright and shiny that doesn’t come with the baggage I do. I’ve been putting off this conversation with you for so long. Now my cowardice could’ve cost me the only person I’ve ever loved.”
“I’m sorry, man. I wish I’d known sooner how you felt about her. And I wish like hell I’d realized sooner that she’d stopped living right along with me. I’m sorry it took me this long to pull my head out. Hell, if it wasn’t for Brooklyn, I don’t know if I ever would have and I hate to think about what that would have meant for Andi if I hadn’t. Neither of you should have had to wait eighteen years to be together. Fuck. You should have been able to follow through with your plans after high school.”
It would be easy to blame Declan for everything that happened with Andi. It would be easy to say they would’ve had a long, happy life together if it weren’t for him and his neediness, but Braeden wasn’t sure it was true. The odds were stacked against high school sweethearts, so there was no guarantee they would have made it through.
“Who knows what would have happened if you’d realized things sooner or if we had stayed together back then. Maybe we wouldn’t have made it through college. Maybe we wouldn’t have been ready to find our way back to each other sooner than now. Maybe I would have missed my chance. Sometimes things have to happen the way they happen. I’m tired of looking back. I want to focus on the future, and my future is your sister.”
“You can have my blessing, but I need to know that you’re truly in this for the long haul. You’ve made it clear for over a decade that you don’t do relationships. You’ve slept your way through most of the women in Seattle. Can you put that shit aside and be with Andi and only her for the rest of your life?”
“I admit I haven’t been a saint, but knowing this day was coming, I haven’t been with anyone in years. I’ve kept up appearances so you guys wouldn’t ask questions, but the only action my dick has seen in the last two years has been Rosy Palm and her five friends.”
“Jeezus. Good to know you’re still as crude as ever,” Declan laughed. “What about Vegas? You had your own room.”
“And I went upstairs and watched a few pay-per-view movies, not porn asshole, and was asleep by midnight...both nights. I’ve been living a very solitary existence since Gabriel got serious about Savannah. I knew it was only a matter of time before you fell and even if you didn’t, Erin would be off to college soon, and Andi would be free to do what she wanted.”
“I had no idea.”
Braeden shrugged. Keeping everyone in the dark had been a part of his plan all along.
“You weren’t supposed to. No one knows except Meghan and Oliver. When Meghan cornered me about Sylvia, I drunkenly laid out my plans for Andi. She told Oliver cause they don’t keep secrets from each other anymore. And based on the way Brooklyn looked at me last night, I’m guessing she knows more than she’s led on. Those girls talk way too much.”
“Don’t I know it,” Declan mumbled. “So what now?”
“Now I try to get my girl back and make amends with you. I was a shitty best friend dropping you when you needed me most.”
Of everything that happened over the last eighteen years, that was probably the thing that Braeden regretted the most. Sure, he’d made mistakes where Andi was concerned over the last decade or so but most of the things that happened between them were out of his control. Leaving Declan behind because he was too much of a baby to deal with the pain Andi caused him, that was all Braeden. He’d made that choice and he had to live with the fact that he was an asshole when he should have been standing by his friend, giving him all the support he needed.
“I get it now. I didn’t back then,
but it makes sense. I hate that we’ve spent so many years at odds.”
“Yeah, well I couldn’t stand looking at you knowing you were the reason I couldn’t have what I wanted. I blamed you for everything going to shit. My bitterness made me more antagonistic toward you than was probably necessary, especially after Andi stopped hanging out with us. I blamed you for that too.”
“I get it. I probably would have done the same thing had I been in your shoes. I wish you guys would’ve told me you were together back then.”
“Seriously? Please think back to how you were back then and then picture me telling you that I wanted to marry your sister and that we’d been together for years right under your nose.”
“Yeah, nevermind. I probably would have kicked your ass for defiling my sister and trying to ruin her future. Although, it turns out I was the one who ended up ruining her future. Maybe I should go ahead and kick my own ass for that part.”
“I’ll gladly give you a hand if you need some help,” Braeden offered while trying to keep a straight face.
“Fuck off,” Declan growled, even though he couldn’t keep the smile off of his face.
Braeden laughed. “Oh, I’m so looking forward to us being friends again…and someday we’ll be brothers. This is going to be fantastic.”
“It’s not too late for me to take back my blessing you know.”
“The hell it’s not. There are no take backs in the game of love my friend. You’re stuck with me,” Braeden reminded him. “Well, you will be as long as your sister doesn’t rip my heart out again anyway.”
Declan groaned, but a smile played at his lips. “I think if anyone’s got a shot at tying her down, it’s you. She’s just crazy enough to think your crazy is endearing.”
“Hey,” Braeden whined. “My crazy is very endearing. You know your life would be duller without me in it. I’m sure you’ve missed our bonding time over the years.”