by Paris Hansen
“I can’t keep doing this,” Braeden whispered.
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“No. You don’t get it, Andi. I can’t keep doing this. If you walk out that door today, I...then that’s it. I can’t keep letting you break my heart. I can’t be around you knowing you aren’t willing to fight for us. I love you, but every time this happens, I feel like I lose a little piece of me. I already gave you my heart. I can’t afford to give up anything else.”
“Braeden…”
“I know...you’re sorry. Well, I’m sorry that your apology isn’t enough. Make the call Andi. Stay and we’ll figure things out or go and that’s it.”
The hollow ache in her chest intensified, stealing her breath. She knew she deserved the ultimatum he threw at her, but that didn’t make Andi feel any better about it. The first time they went through this, she tried to push him away, wanting to make it seem like she wasn’t as invested in their relationship as he was. This time, she couldn’t fake it and he knew it. She’d made the decision the first time without knowing how he would’ve reacted if she’d told him her plan. Now that she knew he’d give it all up for her, there was no doubt in Andi’s mind she made the right choice then and she was going to make the right choice now.
Braeden might not want to believe it or maybe he didn’t want to see it at the moment, but they were meant to be together. Someday they’d make it work. Eventually, they’d get their happy ending. Andi was so sure of it that she knew there was no other answer she could give him other than to turn and walk out of his bedroom.
She looked up at him one last time before turning toward the door. “I’m sorry Braeden. I am. I know you’re tired of hearing that, but I’m gonna keep saying it. One day we’ll make this work; you can trust me on that.”
Andi didn’t wait for him to respond. He’d already said what he needed to say and so did she. With her shoulders back and her head held high, she walked through the tiny apartment. She kept her composure until she reached the parking lot. By the time she reached her car, the tears were flowing freely, her shoulders shaking with each sob.
As she sat in her car trying to calm down enough to make the long drive home during rush hour, she tried to think of anything other than Braeden, but couldn’t. Not for the first time in the last three years, she wondered if she was doing the right thing. Could they make a relationship that was filled with busy schedules and unknowns work?
They’d rarely get to see each other, with his school and intern schedule and the atrocious amount of time it usually took to drive from Issaquah to the university. Her work schedule changed week to week, but her days were always filled with Erin. Of course, that would change when Erin started school, but Andi had no idea what that would look like and what it would mean for her.
Shaking her head, Andi took a deep breath and held it. When she felt like her chest was going to explode, she slowly released the breath, feeling a sense of calm pass over her. What kind of relationship could they have if they rarely saw each other? The more she thought about it, the more she was sure about her decision. It hurt and there was a chance she was making a huge mistake, but it was one she was willing to make if it meant Braeden got the future he deserved.
Chapter 5
Andi - 25 Years Old
“I’m glad you could be here, Andi,” Gabriel yelled over the music and loud conversations happening around them.
“Me too. It was nice of Oliver’s parents to watch Erin so I could help you celebrate,” Andi replied, leaning into Gabriel so she wouldn’t have to raise her voice.
She was genuinely excited to get the chance to celebrate Gabriel and Braeden’s success. They’d both passed the Washington state bar exam and been hired on as junior associates at Gabriel’s father’s law firm. They’d both worked hard to get where they were and Andi was unbelievably proud of them. It had been touch and go for Braeden after his dad died, but he eventually buckled down and accomplished what he’d set out to do.
Nonchalantly she scanned the restaurant Gabriel’s dad had rented out for the party. In the forty-five minutes she’d been there, she’d yet to see Braeden. There were nearly a hundred people in the small space, so it wasn’t surprising she hadn’t found him yet. They’d find each other eventually. That’s how it always worked. Even now when they avoided being alone together, there was still some kind of gravitational pull between them.
But she was done avoiding Braeden. She was done making herself scarce whenever he was around.
Andi was ready for a change. She was finally willing to take her life back. Erin was seven and didn’t need her around as much. She and Declan had created a routine that worked perfectly for them and Erin. Things were going well at work, now that their father was out of the picture and had given them free rein of the family company. Everything seemed to be falling into place.
Everything except her love life.
The party celebrating his accomplishments probably wasn’t the best venue to tell Braeden she was ready to pick their relationship back up, but she didn’t care. She couldn’t wait any longer to make her move. After everything they’d been through over the last seven years, she wasn’t even sure she deserved another chance to be with him. Not after the way she’d broken his heart, not once, but twice. But she had to give it a shot. She had to see if there was still a chance for them.
She’d be lucky if he gave her the time of day. Of course, he’d be cordial as long as the other guys were around, but Braeden did everything he could to avoid being alone with her. Since the day she let things go too far after his dad died, he never allowed it to happen. If the only other person in the room left to get a beer, Braeden followed them or if she came into the room and he was alone, he’d get up and walk out.
She couldn’t blame him. She knew she deserved the way he acted around her, but it still stung. She hated the fact that she’d lost her best friend and that he couldn’t even stand to be around her. The awkwardness of their situation and a sense of self-preservation led her to withdraw from the group even further. She rarely hung out with the guys she grew up with and instead spent her time working or with Erin.
But she wanted that to change. A sense of loneliness had set in over the last year that had her craving the familiar. She wanted her friends back. She wanted Braeden back. She didn’t want to hide in her room whenever the guys came over to her house. She didn’t want to spend the evenings they were around remembering what she lost.
Now, all she needed to do was find Braeden and get him to agree to have a conversation with her. If she could get that first step out of the way moving forward would be a hell of a lot easier.
Gabriel chatted away next to her about what came next. She smiled and nodded, throwing in a “that’s cool” every once in a while. Andi felt like a bit of an asshole, but she just wanted to find Braeden. She loved Gabriel like a brother, but Braeden was the owner of her heart and it was about time they found their way back to each other.
“Oh hey, there’s my dad. You gonna be okay over here or do you want to come with me?”
Andi smiled up at him and shook her head. She hadn’t had enough alcohol to fake being nice to Richard Archer just yet. Gabriel’s dad was almost as big of an asshole as her dad was. Neither of them should’ve ever had kids since they had no idea how to treat other human beings.
“Go on. I’ll be fine. I need to find Braeden to congratulate him anyway.”
Thankful that she had a good excuse not to follow Gabriel, she watched him disappear into the crowd, then resumed her search for Braeden. A chorus of laughter erupted from somewhere to the right of her giving Andi her first hint at where he might be. Braeden was always the jokester, using humor to camouflage reality. From the sound filling the restaurant, things hadn’t changed much in the last few years.
As she made her way through the crowd in the direction of the laughter, Andi wasn’t surprised to find Braeden holding court surrounded by a group of people that seemed to grow as she approached. He was a
nimatedly telling a story about a case that he and Gabriel had helped out with over the previous summer. She’d missed the majority of the story, but it was one she’d heard before, albeit while eavesdropping one night while the guys played poker in her dining room.
While Braeden regaled the crowd with one mishap after another, Andi took the time to study him. Once shy and a little reserved, Braeden had come a long way over the two decades she’d known him. The boy she first met in kindergarten would have never been able to entertain dozens of people. Hell, he struggled with talking in front of a few people, even though they were his best friends. As the years went by, Braeden became more confident and he always told her she was the reason why.
Andi was so damn proud of the man he’d become. Whether she played a roll in that or not didn’t matter. Braeden set his mind to becoming a lawyer and he worked his ass off to make it happen. Even when all seemed lost, he turned it around and made his dream come true. He’d accomplished so much in the last few years. She wondered if maybe he wasn’t better off without her. Shaking her head, she tried to erase that thought from her mind. Even if he was, she couldn’t think that way. Even though it was selfish of her, she wanted to be a part of his life again.
“Andi! If it isn’t my favorite Reese sibling.”
Braeden’s voice broke through her thoughts and as he approached she realized that the crowd gathered around him had dispersed. She took a deep breath to try and calm her nerves. Although she’d seen him many times over the years, having him show her any kind of attention was new. Usually, he ignored her or if anything he glared at her. As he walked toward her, a smile graced his beautiful face. The same smile that made her heart race for the last twenty years.
“Congratulations Braeden. I’m so happy for you and proud of everything you’ve done,” she said as he wrapped her in his arms.
The hug caught her off guard at first, but then she relaxed against him, her arms wrapping around his waist. It had been far too long since he touched her or allowed her to touch him. It felt amazing to be wrapped up in him, even if only for a moment.
“Thanks, babe. I’m glad you could come out to help me celebrate.”
Braeden pulled away from her, breaking the contact that she so desperately wanted. It was then she got a good look at him. His dirty blonde hair was styled perfectly, his blue eyes shining brightly from excitement and probably the alcohol she could now smell on his breath. He wasn’t drunk yet, that was for sure, but he’d had enough to lower the walls he used to keep her out. It explained why he was being so nice to her. She just hoped those lowered walls continued to make things easier for her.
She watched as he scanned the crowd, then looked back at her, his gaze roaming from her face, down to her toes, then back up. A smirk graced his lips as his eyes met hers. He liked what he saw. Another point in the win column for her. Although she wasn’t the biggest fan of wearing dresses, she knew Braeden loved it when she wore one, and she knew going into the evening that she needed all the help she could get if she was going to get him back.
“I was hoping we could talk,” she told him. “Do you have time to go somewhere private?”
“A private moment with the great Andrea Reese? My night just got even better.”
Andi inwardly cringed at the tone of Braeden’s voice as he said her full name. Laughter danced in his eyes as he said it, but his tone told her he wasn’t joking around. Even though he was giving her the time of day and seemed like he was about to agree to talk to her, he wasn’t as happy about it as his eyes made it seem. He was definitely still angry with her and Andi couldn’t blame him.
Braeden grabbed her hand, then started to lead her through the crowd. He was walking fast, making it almost impossible for her to keep up in the wedge sandals she was wearing. Eventually, once they were through the crowd, he slowed down, giving her time to check him out as he lead her past the bathroom, into a dark hallway.
His shoulders were broader then she remembered, tapering down to a trim waist. The dress shirt he wore did nothing to hide the definition in his biceps or his back. It was obvious he spent a lot of time on keeping fit. She could only imagine what he looked like without a shirt on and if she didn’t have to make sure she didn’t fall, she probably would have.
He’d rolled his sleeves up to his elbows, exposing his forearms, which she’d always found sexy, but now were downright distracting. She wondered what it would be like to watch the muscles in his forearm flex as he sat behind her, his hand disappearing underneath her shorts, while she tried to concentrate on playing video games. They’d spent more time than she could count like that while her family was off going from baseball tournament to baseball tournament.
A warmth spread through her body at the memory of Braeden’s hands exploring her most intimate of areas. She felt the need to press her legs together to stop the tingling between her legs. It had been so long since she’d been touched by him, hell by anyone, that Andi had a feeling she’d go off without much help.
Andi was so focused on her memories that she didn’t realize Braeden had pulled her into someone’s office until he kicked the door closed behind her. Before she could say anything, he was pinning her body between his and the door. His mouth dropped to hers in the beginning of a feverish kiss. This wasn’t what she’d had in mind when she asked to go somewhere private, but holy hell his hands felt amazing roaming over her body, from her shoulders to her hips. He kissed her like they hadn’t been apart for years, like her stupidity hadn’t fractured their relationship.
He moved his hands to the hem of her skirt and then back up over the bare skin of her thighs. Her breath caught as he got closer to the promised land. She knew she should stop him. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in closer. She knew they should talk first, but as he kissed her senseless, she couldn’t bring herself to say the words. The minute he pulled her panties to the side then pushed two fingers into her needy body she no longer knew what words were.
“Oh fuck, Andi…” Braeden moaned as he kissed his way down her neck, his fingers pumping in and out of her.
Braeden knew how to work her body until she was on the edge of oblivion. It might have been years since the last time he touched her, but he obviously hadn’t forgotten how to drive her wild. With one last crook of his fingers, she was falling apart in his arms, her legs nearly buckling beneath her, his name on her lips. As she started to come down, he wrapped an arm around her waist and lifted her off of the ground. Instinctively she wrapped her legs around his waist as he pinned her back against the door.
Between them, she felt him undo the slacks that had obviously been tailored to fit him perfectly. As she remembered how they molded to his tight ass, she felt her panties once again moved to the side, before he pulled her down onto his cock. The invasion felt foreign at first, almost painful since it’d been so long since she’d last had sex. Braeden held her against him, muttering curse words as he let them both adjust to what was happening.
“Jeezus Andi...you feel so fucking good. You’ve always felt like you were made for me….” he moaned as he started to move.
His thrusts were shallow to start, but as their pleasure heightened, he drove into her harder, deeper. Her back slammed against the door behind her, but she didn’t care if she ended up with bruises. Tightening her legs around his waist, Andi tried to pull him in deeper. She was so damn close to going off again, but she wanted them to go over together.
“Braeden…”
“I’m so close, babe. So...fuck…”
Her body began to tremble as her orgasm coursed through her. She moaned his name over and over as he tensed and pulled her down hard against him. He murmured her name into her hair as he came, something he’d done the very first time they’d made love. The familiar act brought tears to her eyes, but she blinked them away. This wasn’t the moment to get emotional, even though her heart felt like it was going to fly right out of her chest.
Braeden held her against the door
for a little while longer as they both caught their breaths. Once they were both good to go, Braeden pulled out of her and lowered her legs to the ground. She stood on wobbly legs, as she watched him step away so he could pull himself together.
Stepping further into the office, she looked for a place to sit down. After what they’d done, there was no way her legs were going to hold her up so they could have their talk.
“Fuck, I forgot to use a condom.”
She turned, giving him a reassuring smile. “It’s fine. I’m still on the pill and I...well I haven’t been with anyone else.”
“Andi…”
“It’s okay, Braeden,” she said interrupting whatever it was that he was going to say. She knew the odds of him being celibate over the last four years was pretty slim, but she didn’t want to hear about it.
“Still should have used a condom,” he muttered before turning away from her. “Thanks for that. I really needed it.”
He’d already started to open the door before Andi realized he was leaving. They hadn’t talked. She hadn’t gotten to tell him that she wanted to get back together.
“Braeden, I…”
“Look,” he said as he turned to face her, bitterness marring his beautiful face. “Don’t worry about it, Andi. We both know this didn’t mean anything. I was gonna get my dick wet no matter what tonight. Figured it might as well be you for old times sake and all that. Let’s just go back to the party and forget it ever happened. It’s what you’re good at after all.”
“Braeden… wait…”
She’d barely said the words before he was out the door and walking away from her. Shock took over her body as she sank to the dirty floor. Her chest tightened as tears formed in her eyes. This time she couldn’t blink them away. This time they flowed freely as her heart shattered into a million pieces. The hope that filled her earlier turned to dust amongst the ruins of her heart while sobs wracked her body.